#crack post

LIVE

shesarainbeaux:

won’t lie to u bestie, i have been imagining pleasures of the flesh from time to time

totesmgoats01-published-author:

theevenprime:

glumshoe:

gravitygals:

glumshoe:

why does every cartoon character wear these underwear:

why don’t u

because if I wore these underwear the universe would conspire to constantly put me in situations where my pants would get pulled down or destroyed and it’s so hard to find good pants

I have a few pairs of these exact underwear, which I wore whenever possible as a camp counselor.

The reason was that, if you get pantsed, and you weren’t in on the joke / it wasn’t planned, that’s a massive breakdown in respect and discipline, and you have to make an example of that kid (generally by wrestling them, and in serious cases, taking away candy privileges). But getting pranked is still a bad look, and makes it seem cool to rebel against your authority.

However, if you get pantsed, and you are in on the joke, everyone has a good laugh, including you, and no one was actually rebelling. It both makes you look like a cool authority figure and makes the person doing it look like they’re the sort of person in cahoots with counselors. Then, if there’s a behavioral issue, you can have that quiet conversation later, away from an audience.

And since those underwear are so culturally specific as punchlines in a pantsing gag that the only plausible reason to be wearing them is if you’re in on a slapstick act, you can retroactively Shanghai any would-be prankster into looking like they did it with your consent and planning, which not only keeps you from indignity, it makes sure that they’re rewarded by laughter and attention for looking like they’re cooperating with the staff, encouraging that in the future and bringing them in from the outside of the social-reward structure you’re trying to set up, where it’s cool too be wacky but responsible.

That preparation effort paid off maybe four times across three years, but it was completely worth it.

The downside, of course, is that when one of your kids goes missing in a storm when it’s hailing and pouring sheets of water, and you don’t have many dry clothes left, you’re reduced to running through the rain looking for them in your underwear, which are situationally inappropriate / jarringly comical to the full extent possible.

I have literally never put more than 3 seconds of thought into what pair of underwear I’m going to wear. Meanwhile tumblr user theevenprime is playing 6 dimensional chess with their undergarments.

I guess I gotta step my game up.

penny-anna: penny-anna:im loving this paprika discourse following peer review (i’ve been reading the

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

im loving this paprika discourse

following peer review (i’ve been reading the tags), a continuation


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asimovsideburns:

just once I want to see a character have a gender crisis where it’s like

Villain: hah! you fool! have you not heard the prophecy? no man may kill me!

AMAB Hero: *kills the villain*

AMAB Hero: hmm. okay. okay okay okay. let’s unpack that… later.

go-learn-esperanto:

namara-ashina:

lovedthestars-toofondly:

[footage of Victor Frankenstein sewing together female body parts to make a mate for the Creature while Lou Bega’s Mambo no.5 plays]

@pkmndaisuki how could you leave this in the tags???

[ID:

#a little bit of monica for the eyes

#a little bit of erica for the thighs

#a little bit of rita for the spleen

#a little bit of tina’s keratin

#a little bit of sandra and her thumbs

#a little bit of mary and her tongue

#a little bit of jessica for her hands

#a little bit of you for my made man

#[trombone section]

End ID]

nomehablen2:this is so fucking funny

nomehablen2:

this is so fucking funny


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mrevaunit42:

windewehn:

cybersexanalyst:

nytfythfhtyf:

hgtv show hosts: we made this dark disgusting house into a nice bright warm cozy masterpiece

the house:

needs a pop of color … I think some red accents would really give it that homey feel :)

alyxwalrus:i have no explanation for thisalyxwalrus:i have no explanation for this

alyxwalrus:

i have no explanation for this


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ashintheairlikesnow:

eatyourdamnpears:

meowsikbox:

i don’t even think i have to caption this

I need to @ @ashintheairlikesnowand@albino-whumpeespecifically for this one

… I’m dying

God, this is one of my favorite tiktoks of all time lol

gar-trek:

tng weed tribute!!!!!!

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