this shits too funny man

Me @ someone who tells good stories

RING RING

RING RING

Hi yes we’ve been trying to reach you to talk about your car’s extended warranty??

[every time I check my inbox and I see this I disassociate from everything. This has been in my inbox for over a year. Thank you Riley. Everybody say “thank you Riley”]

Harry Potter cat Harry Potter cat Harry Potter cat harr-

So after work, my coworker and I walk to the bus stop once we finish closing up for the night. This new modern art has been up by the bus stop for 4 days so far.

It’s quite menacing, really :)

Me trying to catch when the food cooks in the oven:

[AIAPSJ OH MY HOD]

menacing

Big floppa says merry Christmas!!

God I wish someone would hold me like this

I am. Lonely

Sleepy man.

Meet the rat bastards. Stal (bottom) and monster truck (top)

I want to be a rat

On jah fricking date me mofos

@ my current girlfriend

A reminder that jerboa is a thing that exists

I want to be a rat

This is a threat

@ my current girlfriend

Uh oh stinky moment

Yo he be scheduling tons of meetings

Ah yes my favorite flavor

Tumblr is the gay twitter change my mind

Tomate,,,

I’m really disappointed

Saw this and thought, “tumblr will love this one”

Woah did I just post?

Go like it dudes and dudettes