#danisnotonfire imagine

This is going to be awkward if you meant alone reading a magazine or something .

You unlocked the door to your apartment  and heaved your bag onto the chair by the door. It had been a long day and you had been looking forward for your time with Dan this evening. You guys had both been really busy lately and hadn’t had much time for one another so you were going to show him how much you missed him, so to speak.

But much to your disappointment Dan had called about an hour ago having to take a rain check because him and Phil had to plan their radio show tonight.  You flicked on the tv and stretched out on your couch with a blanket draped over you for warmth. 

You started watching some cooking show but your mind quickly wandered  to Dan.  You thought of all the things you might have done tonight with him, for him. You can’t help it when your hand starts to wander down under the blankets and under you leggings. 

You block out the tv and just focus on Dan in your head and your breathing quickens as does your hand. You think you hear something but of course it’s probably just the tv which doesn’t matter any more all that matters is what’s happening inside your head , inside your body.

Right when you start to climax you moan his name “Dan” . And just as you’re almost finished , almost there you hear a voice behind you “yeah what is it y/n?” the cheekiness in the voice is evident and you scream and jump out of the couch , your hand stopping at once and the blanket falling to the floor. “I came here to surprise you , decided me ad Phil could plan the show another night and looks like i certainly have surprised you. I mean it was already a great show but then I got a mention! Wow I do feel special” your heart was still racing from the fright but your cheeks were red with embarrassment . You grabbed the nearest cushion on the couch and chased Dan  around your apartment with it , hitting him. “I hate you *whack* Daniel omg you could *whack* have stopped me *whack*!” the whole time he was running around laughing his head off thinking he was so hilarious.

 When the both of you were out of breath ( which didn’t take that long considering how unfit the two of you were) he wrapped his arms around you and you leaned your head into his chest. “I’m sorry y/n but come on it was pretty hot” you scoffed and then fake hit him. He kissed you on the neck a couple of times then whispered in your ear “why don’t we go upstairs so I can make it up to you?” you smiled and then shot off up the hall way yelling “i’ll race you!" 

A.N: let me know if that’s the kind of thing you wanted and give me some feedback please peeps (: it helps make my writing for you better (: tomorrow I will be hard at work at your requests so keep them coming! (: p.s my heart goes out to anyone in Boston or around the area or with family or Friends there

“I’ll do the honors” Dan said as he inserted the key card into the room of your hotel. It had certainly been a mission for you to get there as the hotel had mucked up majorly. 

What you had reserved was a 2 bedroom suite , one room with 2 single beds for the boys and 1 room with 1 single bed for you. But what the hotel had presented you with was 1 bedroom with a double bed and a sofa bed in the lounge/kitchen area. After about 20 minutes of arguing with the hotel staff you all finally agreed to just accept the room , after being assured that the double bed was gigantic so Phil and Dan were happy to share it while you would take the sofa bed.

When Dan had got the door open and your bags had been chucked down by the wall you all started to explore the rooms. 

You headed into the master bedroom with Phil leading the way. As soon as you entered you were confronted with the biggest bed you had ever seen. It was wider than you were tall and it took up most of the room. Dan and Phil wouldn’t have to worry about bumping into each other at all during the night. It would have fit 4 people (although they would have been shoulder to shoulder.) 

Phil took a running jump and belly flopped into the bed. “ahh this is the life” he said ,contented. Next you all traipsed back into the kitchen and lounge area. Dan sat on the couch experimentally testing it out to see how comfy it would be for you. “y/n come and sit here it’s really hard. I think the floor would almost be comfier” you sat down next to him and unfortunately Dan was right. It was bloody hard and uncomfortable.

“if you want y/n I can take this bed and you can have the comfy giants bed upstairs?” he offered. You knew how much Dan loved a comfy bed plus you both knew he would be far to tall to fit on the couch so you appreciated his offer even more but you didn’t want him to be uncomfortable so you turned him down “ nah it’s okay Dan , ” you smiled.

  After a watching a bit of tv you all were yawning your heads off. “well I guess I might go  and get some rest” Dan commented.  Phil stifled a yawn then Agreed that he should probably get some too. They both started to trudge slowly towards the bedroom when Dan stopped in his tracks and looked at you. “ you know y/n that bed is big enough for like a bajillion people I mean why don’t you just come and sleep with me?no! I didn’t mean, notlike that! I meant sleep in the bed with me and Phil.I don’t mind if Phil doesn’t ” the three of you laughed at Dan’s dirty mind and then you saw him wink  at you. You got butterflies in your stomach and you just smiled at Dan.  "yeah I mean I don’t care, we’re the 3 musketeers guys!“ Phil was so cute sometimes. "plus we don’t want you to get a sore back on that piece of wood disguised as a sofa” Dan teased. You smiled at your two best friends “yeah thanks guys I think I will, I don’t find it weird either! My back and I thank you" 

You got a comfy Tshirt out of your bag to sleep in , they’d seen you in a bikini and your underwear before so it would matter if  you wore your plain black but flattering underwear with a Tshirt.

You went into the bathroom to get changed and when you came out and into the bedroom you saw Phil was in his pj’s hopping into bed and Dan was in his boxers taking off his Tshirt.  Okay so maybe you had had a wee look at Dan whenever you guys went to the beach and maybe you felt yourself wanting Dan to be in the middle tonight. It meant nothing , right? Yup.

Phil had already crawled under the covers and Dan followed in after him, slipping into the middle of the bed and he motioned for you to come in next to him.  His tan was not helping the fact that you were having some troubles focusing tonight.

You got in under the covers trying not to touch Dan or you knew it would be too much for you. "well night guys have a great sleep!” Phil said cheerily . “night Phil” you replied . “oh I certainly will have a great sleep, night” Dan said. His voice was playful but you couldn’t figure out why. 

After the boys made you get up and turn off the light because they were too lazy you felt your way around the unfamiliar room and slid back under the covers. As soon as your head hit the pillow and you’d gotten comfortable on your side you felt Dan’s body pressing against your back. “hey y/n I’m cold can you keep me warm?” he sounded so innocent. ‘What a good actor’ you thought. You looked over at Phil and saw that he was already fast asleep. “Well then put a shirt on” you whispered , two could play at this game, Dan.

“nah you’re just so hot that you warm me right up” Dan whispered into your ear as he slid his hand up your leg from your calf to the tip of your thigh, thank god you had just shaved so your leg was silky smooth.  Dan let his hand wander to your inner thigh and still he kept it wandering upwards. “Dan… You have to stop Phil is right there!”  Dan chuckled under his breath but moved his hand to your waist. “but that’s why it’s so fun, the risk makes the reward more worthwhile” he was trying to persuade you but you were determined you would not give in.

Before you knew what was happening Dan had slid his hand down your stomach and into your underwear “I can tell that you want this too, I can feel it”  you let out a startled cry “ Dan!” but your high pitch and fast pace made the word unrecognizable luckily as Phil had woken up in all the commotion. “what, y/n are you okay, what happened??”  you’d jumped up from the shock so luckily Dan had removed his hand. “nothing Phil , just a bad dream , night” you tried to sound casual but as Dan pulled you back down into bed he whispered in your ear “ good save y/n” you gave him a playful shove in the ribs with your elbow and told him to go to sleep. “fine” he said dejectedly “but I’ll see you in the shower when we wake up" 

A.N: hope you liked it! What did you think? What would you have like to change or what is your feedback? Let me know in my ask an request an imagine with any YouTuber  while you are there! For those of you that have already requested them they are in progress I promise (: 

You and your two best friends, Dan and Phil ,were currently sat on a 7 hour flight to America for a holiday. 

You guys had been planning this for ages and saving up and finally it was here . When you were boarding the plane Phil quickly asked for the window seat and you and Dan were happy to let him have it, Dan sat in the middle and you took the aisle seat. 

You felt your eyes getting heavy as you shifted around to get comfy in your seat. “not tired are you ,y/n?” Dan teased. You opened one eye “I know you don’t like the flight time of 3am anymore than I do.” you said as you tried to find a comfy position. Dan smiled , he looked  pretty tired himself. 

“hey if you want y/n you can lean against me” he offered as he pushed the armrest  up so there was nothing in between you now. Awh he was so sweet. You sat up a bit and shifted along the seat so you were sitting closer to Dan and leaned your body into his. 

Right away you felt much more  comfortable. As you leaned your head against Dan’s arm you breathed in and out, relaxing yourself. You smelt the familiar scent of vanilla, cloves and something else you couldn’t quite place , and it made you feel safe and calm. You were no longer nervous about flying. 

 You felt his arms sneak around your waist and you both adjusted so you could each be comfy while you slept. 

Phil turned around from looking out the window “oh yay thanks Dan” he said as he leaned against Dan’s shoulder blade. “get off me Phil or I’ll steal your lion and hide him so you can’t find him” Dan chuckled  in your ear softly and you gave him a playful nudge with your elbow. Phil quickly stopped leaning on Dan and sneakily pulled out his iPhone and the two of you were completely unaware as he took a picture and proceeded to post it on twitter with the caption “ aw just look at my otp”

A.N: hope you liked it! Just a quick little thing! Please give me feedback and request any imagine scenario in my ask! Or just say hi or anything (: 

Request: Dan is sick with a migraine, y/n cares for him.

You were at your best friend and neighbors house, Dan and  Phil. You lived on your own in the apartment next to them and you were practically always over at one of your two houses. 

This morning you had gone over to Dan as Phil’s  at 8am , you knew Phil was an early riser plus you had woken up early and were bored. You were sitting with Phil talking away over a bowl of cereal . “anyway where’s Dan at?” you asked casually putting another spoonful of cereal into your mouth. Phil gave you a little nudge.“ wouldn’t you like to know ay, y/n” he winked . The two of you cracked up . Phil was the only one who knew about you liking Dan. 

“But seriously ,he went to bed really early last night when we were playing sonic on the play station, maybe someone should check he’s okay” you were worried about Dan, hopefully he wasn’t sick or something. Phil gave you a cute and knowing smile “aw y/n I’m sure he’ll be fine but why don’t you go and check , give him a kiss to make him feel better” Phil was joking but you wished you could do just that. But you knew that wasn’t really an option.

Ignoring Phil’s smirks you padded up the hallway towards Dan’s room. You knocked on his door and you heard a grunt so you thought he might be awake so you decided to cautiously open the door.

“Dan?” you called softly, not wanting to wake him . You saw him shift round a bit in his bed, “y/n?” god how did he look this good when he  had only just woken up? You broke out of your trance and you noticed his voice sounded a bit hoarse , as if he had a cold. “are you okay ,Dan ?you sound a bit sick” he coughed and then reached for a tissue to blow his nose ,twice. “nah I’m fine, never felt better in my life” you both laughed and then his laugh turned into a cough. You could hear that his nose was blocked up as his voice sounded husky and deep, dare you say it sexy? No stop it y/n , you thought to yourself, Dan’s off limits. “let me get you some water” you said as the laughter and coughing had died down. “thanks y/n” he smiled.

You walked back into the kitchen where Phil was waiting with a questioning expression. “for your information Phillip he IS sick. ” you smirked at being right. You got a glass and filled it with water. “are you taking care of him y/n?” Phil teased. But that’s exactly what you were doing.

You walked back into Dan’s bedroom and sat on the edge of his bed next to him and handed him the water. He drank it all and set the empty glass on the bedside table. “mm thanks I needed that, *cough*.” you smiled and absent mindedly fixed his fringe with your fingers. He smiled then reached for another tissue.

“hey y/n can I ask a favor?” Dan adjusted his pillows against the wall so he could sit up. “sure, ask away.” you’d do anything for that boy. “well it’s just whenever I was sick mum would put some vapor rub stuff on my chest and it always seemed to help , I know it’s an honor to touch this hot sexy bod of mine” he joked “but you don’t have to.” you smiled and stood to leave “sure Dan." 

After asking Phil where it was (and of course a bit of friendly teasing from him) you were back sitting next to Dan on his bed.  You unscrewed the lid and a sort of pepperminty smell hit you nostrils , it was really calming.  "mm Kay ” you said indicating that you were ready. Dan grabbed the bottom of the T-shirt he had slept In and pulled it off with both hands leaving him shirtless. You were so close to him and you couldn’t help but stare for a few seconds but quickly busied your self by putting some of the goop on your hand. 

Your heart started beating at the thought. You’d wanted a moment like this and now here you’re were.  "sorry if it’s cold" you said. You slowly put your hand to Dans warm chest and started to rub the stuff all over in slow circular motions. This was quite a sensual thing you realized. As you sat gently rubbing it in Dan started to relax instantly , the vapors clearing his blocked nose. 

You decided it was probably rubbed in and much to your disappointment you should probably take your hand away now . “thanks y/n” Dan said as he leaned his head against your shoulder , slowly getting comfortable and sleepy. “no problem Dan , anytime but I expect the same treatment when I’m sick” you joked. Dan smiled “I’ll make you soup”  he stopped leaning against you and settled back under the covers. “no thanks you can’t cook” you laughed , he looked so peaceful as he drifted off to sleep. “mkay then” his speech was slowing . “I’ll buy some…thanks y/n..” he trailed off finally asleep. “no problem Dan” you said as you left to let him sleep.

A.N: hope you liked it and that I lived up to what you wanted! Please give me feedback anyone! And please people request some more! Anything plzzzzzzz thanks! You can have some Internet hugs. (:

Request: fluffy morning smut

This smutty goodness is seriously wow. Okay. You’ve been warned there is also cute fluff at the start and cute at the end but the middle is SMUUUT enjoy you horndogs x x x

You opened your eyes but quickly shut them and groaned. Morning. You and your boyfriend Dan who were now spooning in his bed had forgotten to shut the curtains last night so sunlight was streaming into to your eyes. 

You groaned as you adjusted your position and felt Dan’s arms tighten around your waist from behind you. You smiled to yourself and tried to fall back asleep as you listened to Dan quietly breath in and out, in and out.

But 5 minutes lately you were even more awake than before. You didn’t want to disturb Dan after the late night you guys had  so instead of waking him up you laced your fingers between his in front of you. His hand was much bigger than yours, well his everything was bigger than yours what with you being fairly short and him so  tall. But you loved that about him. You loved everything about him.

 You felt Dan stir as he nuzzled into your neck and gently kissed it. Your bodies fit together perfectly. He shifted his position so his cheat was pressed even tighter against your back and you felt something hard poking into your lower back. You smirked to yourself as you realized what it was. “morning Dan” you greeted him. “mmmph morning y/n” his voice sounded so sexy when he had just woken up. “Someone’s got a bad case of morning wood” you giggled.  Dan relaxed his arms as you turned around so you were face to face. “what?” he hadn’t properly woken up yet. You raised one eyebrow and winked as you leaned in to kiss him, his hands settling  on  the small of your back as you did so. 

You both rolled over so he was on his back and you were on top of him. “oooh right I get you now” Dan said realizing what you meant as his hard member pressed lightly against your bare stomach. “we’re gonna have to deal to that aren’t we” you said between kisses. You put your hands either side of his chest. You knew Dan didn’t like his neck being touched so you trailed kissed down his bare chest until you reached his hard on. You looked up to to see Dan biting his lip and you put the tip of his erection in your mouth. You heard a moan escape Dan’s mouth as you started to bob your head and slowly took more of him in your mouth.  "okay y/n ,uuuuh god this is good but iiiaaah, okay stop or else I’m going to come.“ You moved further up Dan and started sucking on his collar bone, trying to leave a mark. His hands were caressing your inner thighs as you did this , you knew it was making you wet.  You were forced to break contact from Dans collarbone as you involuntarily let out a repressed moan as you felt Dan’s finger rub against your clit. Dan smirked, knowing how it was making you feel. 

 He thrust a finger into you and started slowly dragging it in and out, in and out. You started grinding against his hand, desperate for more friction . Dan stopped altogether. "say my name, beg me y/n” he commanded. You leaned into Dan and whispered in his ear “please babe, I want you,  need you to fuck me now, Dan.”  Dan bit his lip again and he needed no more encouragement. 

He pushed you on to the bed so you lay on your back and he spread your legs and positioned himself between then.  Both of your breathing was heavy , you needed each other. He thrust into you and your breath quivered.  He started moving a little too soon and you put a hand on his shoulder and he got the message to wait as you adjusted.

 He started lightly sucking on your right breast which made you go mental “okay” you practically ordered, he knew how to drive you crazy. He moved his mouth to your neck as he started thursting into you, in and out, in and out. Your breathing became faster. He started leaving little love bits on your neck and shoulders. He often didn’t kiss you during sex because he loved to hear you moan and say his name. 

As you were both reaching your orgasms you felt him smirk against your skin as you moaned his name. His touch was electric to you, and all too soon you were both finished . Only then did he kiss you as he pulled out and lay next to you while you both caught your breath.  He ran a finger lightly up and down your right arm which was closest to him. The way he was looking at you while he did this told you he loved you. 

You closed the gap between your two naked bodies and kissed him, and he lightly bit your bottom lip. You breathing had returned to normal and you felt yourself drifting off to sleep in the comfort of Dan’s arms. Your breathing going In and out, in out out.

A.N: Well hello there hope you enjoyed that! (; hahah, thanks for requesting hope it was what you wanted!  Wow omg ahha. Soz. Be sure to request something or drop some feedback in my ask. Thanks I love you in advance x x x

Request:  "you and Dan go to the gym and you are a lot more fit than him and he gets discouraged"

There is a bit of fluff in here aw.

“come on Dan are you ready?” you called to your boyfriend Dan from the lounge. “yup” his reply sounded hesitant. “don’t laugh ” he said as his voice got closer.  You were curious to see Dan in the outfit you had picked out for him.

He walked through the door and stood in front of where you were sitting on the couch. “so y/n, what do you think?” he jokingly flexed his arms . “wait Dan flex your arms like that again” he did as you asked “wow you need to wear singlets more often. ” The tight gym shorts and loose white singlet he wore really showed his arms off nicely and those legs…well.

You yourself wore tight yoga pants and a bright blue singlet. Dan sighed “mkay I guess we should go to the gym now” you laughed and gave him a kiss on the lips “there’s no need to be so nervous we’re only going to the gym ”  you broke apart from Dan so you could get 2 drink bottles out of the fridge “um y/n at the gym you have to EXERCISE” he said as if the world was going to end. You laughed and grabbed your sweatshirt as he reluctantly followed you out the door.

Once you were at the gym you lead Dan over to the treadmills, deciding it would be best to start at something easy. “okay to give you some motivation what do you say to a race?”  Dan smirked “sure but only if I get a prize when I win”  you thought about it “okay mr.cocky , IF, not when, you win I will do anything you want in the bedroom when we get home” Dan’s eyes lit up and both of you knew it would lead to sex so it was a win-win situation .

Dan copied you as you stepped onto the sides of your treadmill. “first to 5k wins?” you suggested . Dan nodded and fiddled with the buttons until his treadmill started. You smiled to yourself as you also hopped onto your treadmill, you could do this in your sleep.  

You both slowly increased your paces to a gentle run, Dan was matching you speed for speed so that you didn’t get too far ahead . 

You could tell he was feeling the burn a bit already so you decided to really test him as you increased your speed to a fast jog. You watched as Dan did the same although he looked anything but pleased with the increase in pace. You caught each others eyes and you gave him a wave and a wink and he scowled at you, he knew you were messing with him.

1 minute later and you were well in your element, your breathing was comfortable and your thighs only subtly ached as you kept them pumping. You heard Dans treadmill slowing And then you looked over and saw Dan lying on the floor and his treadmill slowly ground to a halt. 

“I. Give.up” he said between breaths.  You jumped onto the sides of your machine and sat down next to him as he drank about half his water. “aw Dan why did you stop? You were so sure you were gonna win! What happened ?”  he sat up, still catching his breath. “ this is not funny y/n *pant* so wipe that grin off your face.” As if you would let him get off that easy. 

“but babe you were certain you had this in the bag! Was it just an off day?” your mock concern was evident in every word. He unscrewed the cap on his bottle and splashed you just a little bit , but a lot more came out than he had anticipated leaving your right leg drenched. “hey! That was cold!” you said as you grabbed your water bottle and squirted it, aiming for Dan’s face but getting his hair. “right that’s it y/n you may have won that battle but I will win this one.”

2 minutes later and the pair of you lay completely soaking on the floor of the gym. Dan was on top of you trying to get you to admit defeat. “okay okay I admit it you won!” you giggled . “but you must admit Dan you are such a sore loser” he rolled off you and lay next to you “I wouldn’t say sore loser, just … Competitive, yeah”  You rolled your eyes “well sore loser or not you are my sore loser” you said grabbing his shirt and pulling him down for a kiss. After a second he pulled away “well whatever I am I am NOT an athlete and I never will be” he said before leaning down to resume the kiss. 

A.N: hope you liked it! Thanks so much for requesting and keep them coming in guys! I am on holiday so I promise they will all eventually get done , bye!

For the people that asked yes I write smut so you can request it with a scenario or what have you (:

Request: “can you do an imagine where Dan leaves you home alone and you are his secret girlfriend and while you are reading something a stalker/crazy fangirl sneaks into the house and goes crazy when she finds you there and Dan walks into the house and sort of ‘saves’ you or something like that" 

"bye Dan” you called as he walked through the door of his apartment to run some errands.  You loved that he trusted you to be home alone in his apartment when he went out.  But then again maybe he should. If you could keep the secret that you and Dan were in a relationship from his danosaurs  then you could keep his apartment safe from anything. 

You sat down on the couch not really knowing what to do with yourself. You grabbed the remote and flicked on the tv, for background noise if nothing else.

You lazily reached for a magazine on the coffee table and started aimlessly flicking through it.

Barely 5 minutes later you hear a rather insistent knock on the door. You knew it wouldn’t be Dan as he had a key and Phil was hanging out with pj plus he had a key aswell. You placed the open magazine on the couch and got up to cautiously open the door. 

You only opened it a crack so you could peer round and see what it was. But what you found was a short girl who looked about 13 with blonde frizzy hair and a danosaur bracelet and amazingphil and Danisnotonfire Tshirt. Oh great it was a fangirl. 

You opened the door up a bit wider, how dangerous could a 13 year old be? “OH. MY.GOD” she practically screamed.  "can I help you?“ it was a real challenge to be polite sometimes. "um hi whoever you are, is Danisnotonfire here?” she was giddy  and you thought she might pass out. “un no sorry he’s out.” you said about to close the door.

 "oh, well okay where’s amazing Phil?“ she said standing on her tiptoes and trying to peep over your shoulder into the apartment. "no sorry, it’s just me at the moment” you said then went to close the door but she put her foot in the way so you couldn’t shut it.  

You tried to use both your hands to push  it shut but she wouldn’t budge. She tried to edge another foot into the apartment but you wouldn’t let her. Oh god what were you going to do! You couldn’t let her into Dan’s apartment and he wouldn’t be back for a while. 

“who even are you? Just let me in  , move!” she said trying to shove you out of the way and as she did you fell onto the ground.

 You  heard footsteps behind her “hey babe had to come all the way…back… Forgot my wallet, what happened here? Um who are you?” Dan said as he realized what was happening.

 The girl turned away from you and turned towards Dan. While she was gathering her thoughts he bent to help you up “are you okay y/n?” you smiled ad nodded “yeah I’m fi…” “OH MY  FUCKING GOD. DAN I LOVE YOU OMG. ” you were interrupted by the fangirl. 

Dan awkwardly waved at her “yeah hi! Great to meet you but you should probably go home now , your parents might be worried.” god he was always nice to the fans. “nah it’s fine I’m 13 ,I can do what I want.” Dan looked at you and rolled his eyes.  You knew he was fed up, especially after the way she treated you.

“mkay well bye!” Dan said trying to shut the door and get you inside. “Dan can I just ask you something please? Then I’ll go I swear” she pleaded. Dan sighed, “sure , what is it?” “um so who is this chick? I mean she’s just casually in your apartment by herself? Um what is up with that?”

Dan straightened himself upto his full height and towered over the girl. “well this is y/n and she’s my girl friend” her mouth fell open. “and I love her and I don’t appreciate the way you’ve treated her . ” Dan shut the door in her face. 

Your smile went from ear to ear at how he had defended you, you snaked your arms around his waist and leaned your head into his chest. “you do realize now that everyone will be talking about us now, you’ve practically told them all.” you knew he didn’t like shit storms and although you didn’t like hiding your relationship, you were happy to do it for Dan. He pulled you in tighter “the only reason I didn’t want to tell everyone was because I was worried about you y/n, but I love you and I want everyone to know.  You stood on your tip toes to kiss him and he  met his lips with yours.

***
Half an hour later Phil walked into the apartment seeing the two of you cuddled up on the couch. "y/n check your twitter you’ve honestly gotten so many nice messages” Dan was beaming , he was so happy that his fans had accepted you. “now I wish we’d done that sooner!” he laughed.

A.N: hey sorry I sort of changed what you wanted a bit but I still wanted it to be sort of realistic, hope you liked it though and get requesting people(: I reply your requests once I have done them so don’t worry they are all getting done (:

If you do not want to read it or think it might be triggering for you then PLEASE KEEP SCROLLING. But if you decide to read then I am always here for you to message about anything okay? I can answer your questions privately I you wish as well(: 

It’s in times like autumn where you truly appreciated London’s cold weather. It gave you an excuse you wear long sleeve tops and jumpers. 

However every now  and then the sun would fight the odds and the clouds and shine through. You did not like these days. These days you had to either risk over heating and funny looks and wear something with long sleeves or wear a tonne of bracelets on your wrists which just annoyed you. But you hated what was underneath the bracelets even more so you put up with them.

In some ways your boyfriend Dan had sort of saved you. He saved you practically every night , you were hating yourself so much and covering up the hate with hurt. You felt you deserved the pain for being worthless but since Dan had seen your beauty it had helped and made you sometimes start to maybe see why. But of course it was early days still and you still had days where it was to much , and you went back to your old habits. 

Tonight Dan had invited you round for dinner with him and the fantastic foursome , you 5 always had such a great time together so you were looking forward to it. However you were trying to decide what to wear. It was lovely outside and Dan’s apartment was always nice and warm but of course wearing a short sleeve top would allow the whole world to see your scars and fresh wounds, which in turn is them seeing your weakness and your shame.

You decided you would just chuck a cosy knit jumper over some leggings and a navy and creme tee, you could just say it was cosy and you liked it. Perfect excuse. If worst comes to worse you can say you are tired and leave.

You hate lying to Dan and keeping this secret from him but you didn’t want him to see how weak you are, what if he left you? Plus you knew he would assume it was his fault , even though he was the only thing at night that kept you from picking up the blade again. Sometimes his strength became yours without him  even knowing it.

You decided to walk the short distance to Dan and Phil’s as unfortunetay the day was perfect for walking.  You got there in no time and knocked twice then went in. 

When you first walked into the lounge you saw Phil and Chris on beanbags playing play station and pj was just finishing a bit of editing on his laptop. “hey guys, where’s Dan?” you inquired when you didn’t see him. Pj nodded in your direction, Phil let out a cheery “hey y/n” and Chris , of course, was the first to joke “oh yeah hi y/n so nice to see you too, yeah I’m great actually thanks for asking ! ” you all laughed. You hadn’t meant to focus straight on Dan but your mind just turned straight to your so far absent boyfriend. “sorry guys! But seriously where is he?” pj shut his laptop. “in the shower, should be nearly done” pj answered. You smiled and then sat down on the couch and watched the game play out.

5 minutes later Dan came into the living room ,his hair already straightend. “aw where’d your hobbit hair go” you moaned, it looked so sexy you thought. “and hello to you as well, my beautiful girlfriend ” Dan teased. 

He came and sat next you you and draped his arm around your shoulders and you leaned into him as he kissed your forehead. Chris saw and started pretending to vomit. You and Dan got the message and he gave you a swift peck on the lips before sitting up a bit.

There was a knock on the door and you wondered who else was coming but as Phil got up and grabbed his wallet off the bench you realized it would just be a delivery guy.  Sure enough Phil came back with 4 pizzas and sat them in the middle of the table “dinner is served everyone.” you all got up and Chris paused the video game and went to sit around the table. “yeah you did such a great job with dinner Phil” Dan said sarcastically. You took your seat next to Dan  with pj sitting at the head of the table and  Chris and Phil opposite you. 

The drink had already been placed in the middle of the table so Chris started  pouring everyone some coke and pj went to get some  plates. 

It was instinct as you were about to start the meal and pick up the greasy pizza with your hands that you carefully pushed your jumper sleeves up to your elbows like you would at home in your apartment. You reached and grabbed your glass from Chris who was handing it to you and as you took a sip of the bubbly fizzy and put your glass down you noticed Dan had frozen mid-transfer of the  pizza from the box to his plate.  He looked strange and he had a facial expression you had never seen before. what was goi…. No. No no no how could you have been so stupid. Dan carefully put the pizza back in the box. You weren’t at home alone anymore. No no no . You quickly pushed out your chair muttering “I need to go to the toilet” as you practically ran into the hall as you pulled down your sleeves and shut the door behind you. No . Dan had seen, he knew, what if he left you?  The last thing you wanted was for Dan to find out. You were heading in the direction of the toilet but you didn’t make it that far. All your biggest fears were coming true and you couldn’t take it right now. You broke down and leaned against the wall as you slid down slowly to the ground. As you sat with your back to the wall and your head in your hands the first tears broke through the barrier and a slow cascade started to stream down your face. 

The handle to the hall door started to turn and you knew someone was coming up. It must be Dan. Sure Chris and Phil noticed something was wrong with Dan but they didn’t see your wrists. 

Turns out you were right a a sullen Dan appeared and shut the door quietly behind him.  Your tears were falling thick and fast now and your breathing was becoming hysterical. He was about to break up with you. This was it. You couldn’t form coherent sentences but if you could you wouldn’t have known which words to use. 

He bent down to where you were and without saying anything picked you up in his arms, took you into his room and sat you on the edge of the bed.  He sat down beside you and you leaned in and Dan wrapped his arms around you and he just held you tight as you sobbed into his chest.  

He was rocking you side to side trying to calm you down but he also knew just to wait and let you get it out. These emotions had been pent up for a long time.

Finally your breathing had slowed and your heart was slowly  returning to normal. You sat back and his arms dropped from your back and he held your hands instead. You had never seen Dan look so sad. It killed you to see the hurt in those eyes. “y/n why…” “I’m so sorry Dan you…” you both started at the same time. He tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “you go ” he said.

“I’m so sorry*hiccup* Dan, I didn’t want you to find out , I *hiccup* please don’t leave*hiccup* … Need you… No , sorry ” you broke into tears again and he cradled you in his arms. “ y/n shh how could you think I would leave you? Why would I ever do that? I love you y/n” it felt good to hear him say those words, he always knew what you needed. “because I’m weak and I’m so ashamed of what I have done , what I do to myself. I was scared you wouldn’t want someone weak like me, I’m nothing Dan and I’m always scared you’ll realize that you deserve someone so much better.”  

Dan looked into your eyes. “I don’t think any of that. I love you, babe. I just wish you’d tell me, I hate that I made you feel like this and that you didn’t let me help.”  you knew he’d think it was his fault. “no Dan ! It wasn’t your fault if anything having you has helped me stop sometimes. Please Dan I love you so much you’re my everything I’m sorry I did this to myself but sometimes I can’t help it. It’s all that I feel I deserve sometimes.”  Dan couldn’t even form a response to that, you could see in his face the pain that this had happened but also the love for you.  He grabbed your right arm and put your wrist to his mouth and he kissed your scars. At first you felt vulnerable and weird having your scars out in the open with someone else looking at them but with Dan you knew he wasn’t judging, he was just trying to help.

 Thank god you had Dan, he was so perfect. “y/n if you even feel like you want to harm yourself again you call me whenever! Okay babe? Seriously 3am call me, whenever!” you smiled and nodded because you didn’t know what to say. Tears were welling up in your eyes out of a happiness but also relief. No more secrets.

A.N:  hope you liked it and please give me your feedback, good or bad. If you need someone to talk to I am always here for anyone about anything and if you would like to request an imagine then  hit up my ask(:
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