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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:what an incredibly valuable addition to my vocabulary

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

what an incredibly valuable addition to my vocabulary


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It’s 3am. I’m laying here waiting for the pills to dissolve and bring me relief. The wait feels like an eternity.

“My child is fine!”

Your child: Writes fanfiction narrated by a fly that she now has emotional attachment to.

cat-cosplay:

A calico cat dressed up as the Tenth Doctor from the TV show Doctor Who. Wearing a red and blue tie tucked into a dark pinstripe suit under a large light brown jacket. With a pair of 3d glasses.ALT

“Wibbly-Wobbly, Timey-Wimey… Stuff.”

I was not expecting the oxytocin that flooded my brain at this picture. As a super serious animal behaviorist, I now must make a Rose Tyler outfit for Ellemere.

Excuse me while I figure out what size denim jacket I need for the kitty. (Look out @arrows-for-pens)


Request: fluffy morning smut

This smutty goodness is seriously wow. Okay. You’ve been warned there is also cute fluff at the start and cute at the end but the middle is SMUUUT enjoy you horndogs x x x

You opened your eyes but quickly shut them and groaned. Morning. You and your boyfriend Dan who were now spooning in his bed had forgotten to shut the curtains last night so sunlight was streaming into to your eyes. 

You groaned as you adjusted your position and felt Dan’s arms tighten around your waist from behind you. You smiled to yourself and tried to fall back asleep as you listened to Dan quietly breath in and out, in and out.

But 5 minutes lately you were even more awake than before. You didn’t want to disturb Dan after the late night you guys had  so instead of waking him up you laced your fingers between his in front of you. His hand was much bigger than yours, well his everything was bigger than yours what with you being fairly short and him so  tall. But you loved that about him. You loved everything about him.

 You felt Dan stir as he nuzzled into your neck and gently kissed it. Your bodies fit together perfectly. He shifted his position so his cheat was pressed even tighter against your back and you felt something hard poking into your lower back. You smirked to yourself as you realized what it was. “morning Dan” you greeted him. “mmmph morning y/n” his voice sounded so sexy when he had just woken up. “Someone’s got a bad case of morning wood” you giggled.  Dan relaxed his arms as you turned around so you were face to face. “what?” he hadn’t properly woken up yet. You raised one eyebrow and winked as you leaned in to kiss him, his hands settling  on  the small of your back as you did so. 

You both rolled over so he was on his back and you were on top of him. “oooh right I get you now” Dan said realizing what you meant as his hard member pressed lightly against your bare stomach. “we’re gonna have to deal to that aren’t we” you said between kisses. You put your hands either side of his chest. You knew Dan didn’t like his neck being touched so you trailed kissed down his bare chest until you reached his hard on. You looked up to to see Dan biting his lip and you put the tip of his erection in your mouth. You heard a moan escape Dan’s mouth as you started to bob your head and slowly took more of him in your mouth.  "okay y/n ,uuuuh god this is good but iiiaaah, okay stop or else I’m going to come.“ You moved further up Dan and started sucking on his collar bone, trying to leave a mark. His hands were caressing your inner thighs as you did this , you knew it was making you wet.  You were forced to break contact from Dans collarbone as you involuntarily let out a repressed moan as you felt Dan’s finger rub against your clit. Dan smirked, knowing how it was making you feel. 

 He thrust a finger into you and started slowly dragging it in and out, in and out. You started grinding against his hand, desperate for more friction . Dan stopped altogether. "say my name, beg me y/n” he commanded. You leaned into Dan and whispered in his ear “please babe, I want you,  need you to fuck me now, Dan.”  Dan bit his lip again and he needed no more encouragement. 

He pushed you on to the bed so you lay on your back and he spread your legs and positioned himself between then.  Both of your breathing was heavy , you needed each other. He thrust into you and your breath quivered.  He started moving a little too soon and you put a hand on his shoulder and he got the message to wait as you adjusted.

 He started lightly sucking on your right breast which made you go mental “okay” you practically ordered, he knew how to drive you crazy. He moved his mouth to your neck as he started thursting into you, in and out, in and out. Your breathing became faster. He started leaving little love bits on your neck and shoulders. He often didn’t kiss you during sex because he loved to hear you moan and say his name. 

As you were both reaching your orgasms you felt him smirk against your skin as you moaned his name. His touch was electric to you, and all too soon you were both finished . Only then did he kiss you as he pulled out and lay next to you while you both caught your breath.  He ran a finger lightly up and down your right arm which was closest to him. The way he was looking at you while he did this told you he loved you. 

You closed the gap between your two naked bodies and kissed him, and he lightly bit your bottom lip. You breathing had returned to normal and you felt yourself drifting off to sleep in the comfort of Dan’s arms. Your breathing going In and out, in out out.

A.N: Well hello there hope you enjoyed that! (; hahah, thanks for requesting hope it was what you wanted!  Wow omg ahha. Soz. Be sure to request something or drop some feedback in my ask. Thanks I love you in advance x x x

lemongogo:

me wistfully looking at the clock: maybe one day ill be able to draw again

*is strongly considering becoming an art major next year but doesn’t know if I can draw anymore or if anything I draw would be good enough* (-.-;)y-~~~

In an effort to get hyped about TROS, despite my hesitance to do so, I’m focusing on the fact that there are going to be various canon Damerey interactions that are going to occur after these characters have spent a year getting to know each other. That’s gonna be some good shit.

I have so much to write about and a bunch of lovely messages to respond to, but I’m running around most of the time, so I probably won’t get a chance until Monday or Tuesday, so I wanted to share a quick update now.

I’m having a fantastic time! There have been, as is to be expected, ups and downs, but more ups than downs. I’m very glad I decided to come. And to attend. ;)

I mean, if I hadn’t, I would have missed an almost naked Reaction Junkie pole dancing and wearing a Bane mask while two unicorns trotted behind him, led by women wearing wedding dresses.

i just fell asleep on the floor during a skype call

EXAM. DONE. DAZAI WHERE ARE YOU ;-;

I’m binge watching this season of Supernatural because CW put me on a time limit :(

All that I’ve done today is watch baseball, football, and Project Runway

niallar:

happy st. patrick’s day

wow so I of course decided to stop hooking up with tinder guy after he sent me a video of him fucking someone else with no previous consent or context, well we’re currently talking about why I’m not okay with this and he’s making it obvious he never listened to me talk while we hung out

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