#death of a child
No. 18 - THE DOCTOR IS IN
“Now smile for the camera” | doctor’s visit | CPR
It’s only taken us two years to post it…
“Finn! Don’t run down the stairs, you know what happened last time!”
He was almost at the bottom when Apollo appeared from nowhere, startling him. His foot slipped on the step, sending him tumbling forwards, the book in his hand getting thrown across the room.
There was a shout and a sickening thud as well as a yowl from Apollo, and Fao was on his feet in seconds. He rushed into the hall to find Finn on the floor, a book strewn across the hall.
“Fuck. Finn? Finn, are you okay?” He knelt beside his little brother, ignoring his heart pounding in his chest.
It was every nightmare ever, Finn’s body broken at the bottom of the stairs. Ever since he’d broken him arm during Fao’s exams, the what if had haunted him. The thud, and the blood, Finn small and lifeless. Now it was real, and he felt sick. Any minute he’d wake up, any minute…
Finn forced his eyes open, the room spinning from the pain. Fao was there though, so he knew things were going to be fine. He tried telling Fao it hurts, that he stood on Apollo, but he can’t quite figure out how to.
Not a dream, then. Fao had to force himself to breathe - this was real, and he had to focus to help his little brother.
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m here, yeah, it’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna be fine. Does it hurt?”
He managed to nod, tears starting to fall as he whimpered.
“It’s alright, it’s okay. You’re gonna be okay.” It was partially for Fao’s benefit, as well as Finn’s. “Sheila! Fred!” He called, not entirely sure where either of his adoptive parents are.
“Hurts,Fao.” Finn told him as he slipped unconscious. “Hurts.”
Fao brushed some hair from Finn’s face. “It’s okay, I’m here. I’ve got you.” Fao said, ignoring the rising panic as Finn’s eyes rolled. “Finn? Can you hear me?”
“Boys? What’s going on?” Fred called, finally rounding the corner. “Fuck. Finn? What happened, Fao?”
“H-he fell down the stairs, I think. Go get my phone, it’s on the sofa.” Fao muttered, focusing on finding a pulse. He had to be a doctor now, not a brother.
Fred nodded, standing to go get it. He returned moments later, already dialing for an ambulance.
“Is - is he still breathing? Did he say anything? Fuck.”
“Right now he’s still breathing. Put it on speaker?” Fao said, teeth worrying his bottom lip.
Fred did as he was told, shouting through for Sheila again.
“I think he hit his head.”
“Is he cold? Does he need something - fuck - I don’t know what I’m doing.” Fred panicked, carefully taking Finn’s hand in his.
“He needs an ambulance. I can’t do a lot for him.” Fao mumbled. “Especially not at home.” Finn’s pulse was weak and his breaths were slow but they were both still there. He was alive.
As the operator asked their questions, Fred answered, getting to the medical ones before looking helplessly at Fao.
Fao answered the best he could, trying to stay professional. Finn needed him as a doctor, not a brother. There’d be time for emotion later. He was halfway through answering a question when he lost Finn’s pulse and his breathing stopped. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Don’t do this Finn, please.”
He’d started CPR before the operator even explained it. He counted aloud, focusing on the compressions and the rhythm and not that it was his little brother.
One, two, three, four.
Fred can’t breathe himself, taking hold of Finn’s head and doing as Fao tells him. He can’t look at Finn, can’t bring himself to believe that it’s his son on the floor in front of him.
Fao’s voice broke as he counted but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop, even when he felt Finn’s ribs break under his hand. He had to keep going, had to try and get Finn back. He couldn’t lose him.
At some point, Sheila arrived, dropping to her knees with a strangled cry. She somehow remembered to tell Fao how good a job he was doing before breaking off into sobs.
His hair, in desperate need of a cut, fell in his face as he kept going, but he didn’t stop to adjust it. He paused for a minute, trying to find a pulse.
For a split second, he found one, and his heart virtually skipped a beat. But just as quickly as he found it, it was gone. Nausea rose and he started again, praying the ambulance got there soon. He was tired, and the wine and adrenaline only served to make his head spin.
They were lucky, and the ambulance arrived within the minute, another crew quickly following them in.
“You’re doing great, can you tell me what’s going on?” The first paramedic asked, their name already forgotten in the panic.
Someone else moved Fred out of the way, connecting wires and leads on Finn’s bare chest.
Fao looked up at the paramedic, eyes wide. “I-I think he fell down the stairs, hit his head. W-when I got to him he was saying it hurt, but seemed to be struggling, then he went unconscious. His breathing stopped and his pulse went so I-I started CPR. I got a pulse back for a second before it went again.”
“Okay, you did the right thing. We’re gonna ask you to stop in a moment, just so we can check what’s going on, okay? We’re not stopping the treatment, don’t worry.” He sat back, nodding to his colleague. “Let’s do a rhythm check, can you stop?”
Fao nodded - he knew they had to stop to see where things were. He took a deep breath, and stopped compressions, rocking back onto his heels.
The monitor beeped at them, and for a moment there was a pulse. Finn wasn’t trying to breathe, no effort coming from him, and within a few seconds, his pulse slowed and then stopped.
“Right. We’re intubating, I’m gonna sort the drugs. One of our team is gonna start CPR, and we’re going to do our best.” They gently moved Fao out of the way, starting again. “We’ve called for the air ambulance to come, and they won’t be long. We’ve got an ETA of just under two minutes.”
