No. 16 - ON A NEED TO KNOW BASIS

recovery | scars | aftermath

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It was strange, living with Fao. No longer living at, or sofa surfing from house to house, but with. He got to spend the early mornings in someone’s arms. Loved. Late nights were spent under the covers and added the fire to their relationship. He wasn’t knocking it, it was the best he’d had, if he was being honest, but there were different ways to be intimate.

Laying with Fao was the best part of being off shift, but it was rare they both had the same days off. It just made it more special, and Harrison was determined not to waste it.

He rolled over, gently shifting Fao’s hand from his waist. His boyfriend was still asleep, his hair over his face slightly. He watched him for a little while, until he decided he was being far too creepy, and tucked himself in Fao’s arms. His hand rested across Fao’s chest, his fingers hovering over the scars there. The scars he’d made. He swallowed thickly. Of course, not all of them were his, he knew that, but knew the other scars had an even worse story behind them.

Fao stirred after a few moments, stretching out and humming at the sight of his boyfriend curled up next to him.

“Mornin’.” He said, voice rough with sleep.

“Sorry.” He pulled back. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Mm, it’s ‘kay.”

“Did you want breakfast? I can go make something?” He offered.

“You mean burn something? Jus’ stay?” He murmured. “I like laying here wit’ you.”

He relaxed back down, easily persuaded by Fao. “Alright.”

“What’re you doin’ up?” Fao murmured. “Thought you wanted to sleep in.”

“Just needed to move. Had been in the same position too long.”

“Mmm. You’re warm.”

“So are you.”

Fao stretched out, getting comfortable beside his boyfriend.

“It’s nice.” Hars said softly. “Not having to get up.”

“Yeah.” Fao breathed. “Really is.”

Harrison traced patterns across Fao’s chest. “I wish we could stay like this all the time.”

Harrison’s fingers left goosebumps on Fao’s skin. “You’d miss work too much.”

“Nah. It would be worth it.”

“Mm? I dunno.”

“You prefer work to me?”

“You’re at work, to be fair.”

He hummed. “Good save.”

“‘m smart.”

“Sure you are.” He stretched to kiss Fao, balancing himself on his elbow.

Fao smiled into the kiss, tilting his head up to his boyfriend.

“It’s a good job you’re cute.” He breathed.

“Yeah?”

“You could get away with murder and I’d still be here.”

“Am not planning on murder.”

“Glad to hear it.” He laughed quietly.

“Not today, anyway.”

“I’m sorry.” Harrison said softly, almost to himself.

“What for?”

“All of these.” He murmured, his fingers finally tracing the scars.

“Why?”

“I made these.”

“Saved my life, Tomcat.”

He shook his head, swallowing against the lump in his throat. It was easier for Fao; he’d not had to hold his best friend’s heart in his hands.

“I know it’s hard.” He said gently. “But you went above and beyond for me, and I really appreciate it. The scar just reminds me of all that you did.”

“You don’t get it.”

“I can’t even imagine what you went through…”

He cleared his throat, sitting up and turning away. Fao didn’t need his emotions tied to his scars, he’d been through enough without Harrison adding to it.

Fao whined. “Hey, come back.” He reached out for his boyfriend, pushing the duvet back.

“I’m just going to get up, get dressed.” He said, his voice wavering.

Fao sat up, wrapping his arms around Harrison. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged his way out of Fao’s grip. “It’s fine.”

“No, come on.”

“It’s fine.” He said firmly.

“If it’s fine, come back to bed.” He said. “I’m sorry about my scars.”

“They’re not your fault.”

“And they’re not yours either.”

He scoffed. “I made them.”

“You did what you had to do.” He murmured carefully. “The same way the ortho who fixed my hip did. The scar is a means to an end. Hell, it’s decently neat, too.”

He managed a tiny laugh. “Neat wasn’t exactly on my to-do list.”

“Managed it. Though you didn’t close, so you can’t take all the credit.”

“Guess they did all the hard work.”

“No, you did. I owe you my life, Hars. I know what you did was impossible, felt impossible, but that scar jus’ reminds me I have people who care.”

He shifted to face Fao. “It would have been impossible losing you.”

“And you didn’t.”

“Icouldn’t.”

“And I’m still here.”

“I’m glad.”

“Please don’t beat yourself up about my scars, Tomcat.”

“I’m always going to.”

Fao put his arm around Harrison again, shifting to move closer to him. His fingers brushed over his scars and he made a noise. “I know. And I hate that I wasn’t there to help you, but…” His voice caught. “But we’re both still here.”

He swallowed thickly, leaning into Fao. “I couldn’t lose you. I can’t.”

No. 13 - THAT’S GONNA LEAVE A MARK

“This is gonna suck” | burns | cauterization

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Ely as usual was stolen from @epochandeons

Steve couldn’t help but kick himself as he drove to the Daniels’. He’d been so stupid, he knew he had. It was entirely his fault, too. He shouldn’t have turned his back on someone who had threatened to stab him, he really should have known better.

Luckily, it was just a glancing wound, but it definitely needed stitches and of course it was just out of his reach. He’d called ahead, Fao was home, as were Finn and Ely for a change. There was no way he could go to A&E, they’d just act a million questions he didn’t have time or energy for. Fao would do.

He knew better than to use the front door; he’d had plenty of tellings off from Sheila and didn’t have the energy for another. He let himself in through the back, blood dripping as he unlocked the door. He’d obviously done a terrible job at an attempt at a bandage.

Fao met Steve at the door, unable to stop his smirk. “Well, this is a welcome change. C'mon, let’s get you sat before you keel over.”

Steve raised his hand in warning. “Don’t.”

“Alright, come on. Sit, yeah? I’ve got you.”

“Don’t take forever, will you?” He asked as he sat. “I just need it stitched up.”

“Mmhmm, I’ll be the judge of that.” Fao said, grabbing his supplies. “Top off.”

“It’s fine.” He told him, taking his top off. “See?”

“Yeah, because that much blood is always fine.”

“Nothing vital.”

“Sure.”

“See for yourself.”

Fao sat in front of him, adjusting the light to get a better look at the wound. It was still determinedly bleeding, but he managed to get a decent look at it. It wasn’t deep enough to have hit anything major, nothing about it had him worried.

“Alright, fine. Nothing vital, this time.” He said after a moment. “But you’re lucky it’s not worse.”

“I’m not lucky. I told you I was fine.”

“You are lucky, you’re bloody close to plenty of vital shit.”

“Stop with the lecture and just fix me up, will you?”

Fao hummed. “I’m getting there. Looking for the local…” He was sure he’d gotten some out.

“Alright.”

He couldn’t find it. It wasn’t with the rest of the kit where it was supposed to be, and as he rummaged through the drawers it was nowhere to be seen. Either someone had taken it and not put it back properly, or they’d forgotten to order some more when they’d run out.

“Fuck.” He muttered under his breath. “We’ve got none.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“I wish I was.”

He took a slow breath. “Fine. Just get it done.”

“We’ve got Midaz. Or propofol? Ely can come over.”

Steve scoffed. “You are not knocking me out.”

“I wouldn’t, Ely would.”

“None of you are.”

“I can hardly suture without giving you anything. Ely might be dating me but she’s not that bad.”

Steve stood. “You touch the propofol and you’re done.”

“Sit back down.” Fao told him, a hand on his shoulder. “Pain meds then. Morphine?”

“No. I’m working later.”

“No you’re not.”

“Not if you keep taking forever.”

“Without pain relief, this is gonna suck. It’s gonna suck even with pain relief. Take the Midaz, Steve. Or at the very least some oramorph.”

“No.” He pulled his shirt on. “I’ll ask Finn instead.”

“Finn’s been having myos all morning. Do you really want him to suture? Over the surgical reg?”

“At the minute, neither of you are doing it.”

“Fine, I’ll do it with no pain meds. If you’re so determined to suffer then you can. Shirt off.”

He pulled it back over his head, glad his back was to Fao as he grimaced in pain. “It’s not even that bad now.”

“Sure, sure.”

Steve sat on the bed, and turned to Fao. “Nice and quick, then.”

“Can you lay down for me?”

“If I must.”

“Just want to make sure you’re not going to go anywhere.”

“As if anywhere would let me in looking like this.”

“I don’t want you keeling over off the edge of the bed, yeah? Don’t feel like scraping you off the floor.”

“My blood pressure is fine.” He said, though did lie down.

“Surely that’s more comfortable, anyway?” Fao said, picking up his kit. “Just shout if you need a break, alright?”

“It is.” He agreed. “Do me a favour and don’t fuck it up.”

“Me? Fuck up? I’m hurt.” Fao said, and started to suture.

Steve tapped his feet. “You’ll get over it.”

“I might not.” He said, chewing his lip as he concentrated. He wasn’t about to do sloppy work.

“I’m sure you will.”

He was quiet then, too busy on his work. It was difficult, Steve was fidgety, and after a few minutes he frustratedly adjusted his light. Ely walked in after that, and he twisted to look at her.

“A stór. The last stock take we did, did we order any local? I’ve just turned the place upside down looking for some.”

Ely frowned at him. “I thought Steve did the last one. Are you suturing without any?”

“I wish I wasn’t.” Fao grumbled.

“Oh, fucking hell. Really, Steve?”

“Don’t be nice to him, he refused painkillers.”

“And we wonder where you get it from.” She teased.

“If you’re going to flirt, will you do it in your own time?” Steve interrupted. “I need this over with.”

“Painkillers would help.” Ely said, sitting down next to him. “I really can’t get you anything?”

“No.” He winced as Fao started up again. “It’ll be over soon.”

“I just saw you wince.”

“It’s difficult to suture neatly when you keep fidgeting, Steve.”

“I’m staying as still as I can.”

“Which is why you need meds.” He said bluntly.

Ely sighed. “Look, ignore him, he’s an ass. Won’t you let me give you something?”

“I told Fao, I’m working later.”

“Not with a wound like that.”

“A few stitches and I’ll be fine.”

“Judging by the blood that’s around, you need rest. Have some meds, and then you can sleep it off. We’ve got plenty of midaz and other stuff, we could do twilight or something. Then it’ll be done before you know it.” Ely said gently.

“Please, Ely. Just let Fao get on with it.”

“I’m better than Fao with the drugs. Not even some codeine, morphine? Just to take the edge off, Steve.”

His protests were interrupted as he jumped, jerking away from Fao. He groaned through clenched teeth. “Fuck.”

Fao swore, and dropped his stuff with a clatter. “I can’t keep doing this.”

Steve didn’t move, hands clenched into fists as he tried to breathe through the pain.

“That’s it, Steve, breathe through it. Nice deep breaths.” Ely soothed. “Let me give you something? Please, just so we can sort this.”

“What?”

“It would be best to try some sedation, some midaz or fentanyl. That’ll keep you still, really. Means we can finish quicker.”

“The bare minimum.”

“Of course. Only as much as you need.”

“I need to still be conscious and talking.” He countered, offering her his arm.

“Mmhmm. We’ll look after you.” Ely said, grabbing some gloves and a cannulation kit.

“I’m serious, Ely.”

“We need you to settle and be still, so Fao can suture. You’ll be relaxed.” She told him.

“Fao was doing a fine job.”

“I was trying my best, but you were too fidgety.” Fao told him. “I just need you to be relaxed enough not to move, yeah?”

“I wasn’t moving.” He grumbled.

“Alright.” Fao wasn’t about to argue with him, but just let his girlfriend work.

Ely got set up quickly, well practiced by now. Gone were the days when doing things like this used to scare her. Now it was virtually second nature. She got the cannula in easily - Steve was a welcome change from Fao’s difficult veins or a seizing Finn.

Steve watched her carefully as she worked. He trusted her clinical skills - it had been half the reason she’d been picked in the first place - but he didn’t trust her to not drug him. He didn’t trust either of them.

With the monitoring set up that she wanted (or rather, what she knew she could get away with without Steve having a strop) Ely shared a look with Fao as she measured out the meds. They’d worked together long enough now that Fao knew exactly what she wanted, and so he moved his stool slightly, aiming to distract Steve as she gave the drugs.

“Who are you on shift with tonight, Steve? Did you see the rota?”

He took the bait. “I didn’t recognise the name. Think it’s someone new.”

“Fresh blood? At least they can’t be any worse than us lot, eh?”

Ely gave the meds as quickly as she dared, enough to make sure Fao could get everything sorted. She rubbed his arm, hoping to be another welcome distraction.

“Oh, you…twat.” He slowly turned to Ely. “What did I tell you?”

“Just relax, Steve. I only gave you as much as you need, yeah? Couple of nice deep breaths for me?”

“I should go. Serve you right.” He struggled to focus, to piece the sentence together.

“Later, yeah? Let’s just take a deep breath, relax for me.” Her voice was gentle.

He hummed. “Yeah.”

“Well done, that’s it. Just relax, you can close your eyes if you want.”

He pulled his hand from Ely’s reach. “No more.”

She laughed. “No more, I promise. How about a little nap, hmm?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Always have a choice. Thought it might be nice, I bet you’re feeling pretty sleepy.”

“Twat.”

“So you’ve said.” She said lightly. “It’s alright, we’ll look after you.”

“Thanks.”

“That’s okay, that’s what we’re here for.” She said, and glanced over at Fao. He hadn’t started to suture again yet, but was fussing over the wound, trying to ease the bleeding a little.

As Fao hit a particularly sore point, he turned to look at the wound. “Ow.”

“Sorry, Steve. It’s a bit sore, isn’t it? Don’t worry, it’ll get better.”

“Will it?”

“Yeah, just focus on those deep breaths.” Ely told him. “Nice and relaxed.”

Steve did as he was told; after all, he didn’t really have much choice. He shifted slightly to get more comfortable (and just to annoy Fao, he was sure), and shut his eyes. He might as well try and sleep through it as much as he could.

“That’s it, well done.” She said, rubbing his arm, and then turned to her boyfriend. “Go on, shouldn’t have any trouble now.”

Fao nodded, and started to suture, as quickly as he could. He hated this just as much as Steve did, they just didn’t have a choice.

No. 12 - ANXIETY (Alt. 15)

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Finn had been dreading his appointment. He knew he’d have to miss part of school, which was always fun, and Fao had promised him ice cream after. He didn’t pay any attention in his lessons throughout the morning, but his teachers put it off to his absences and nerves - Sheila had warned them in advance, just in case he tried any of his antics.

With Finn still getting used to everything, Fao spent a lot of time at home, commuting into uni where he needed to. It was easier, being around for him. He knew Sheila struggled, and it reassured Finn to have him around, too.

On a rare afternoon free of lectures, Sheila had asked Fao to take Finn to his appointment. There had been a meltdown that morning, apparently, though Fao had already been at uni by then. The promise of having Fao had supposedly calmed things down, so of course Fao was going to take his brother. He didn’t mind, not really, but he did worry about the possibility of another meltdown.

He arrived at the school early, and waited for Finn, hoping one of the teachers would make sure he met him. He didn’t want to spend ages searching for him when he’d locked himself in a bathroom or something equally as ‘on brand’ for Finn.

Finnwas escorted to the main office, made to wait by reception for Fao to get signed in. He tried a few times to disappear, but was quickly made to sit back down. Always a bundle of energy, Finn was even worse when nervous. His myos were off the charts and he felt sick to his stomach.

“Hey, kiddo. You ready to go? Got everything you need?”

He nodded, clutching his bag to his chest.

“Want me to carry your bag?”

“No.” He said quickly, gripping it tighter. “I’ve got it.”

“Okay, that’s alright.”

“Can we just go home?”

“I’m afraid not. But it won’t take long, and we’ll go for ice cream after. Promise.”

“But I don’t want to go, Fao.”

“I hate going too. But it’s for the best, and it won’t take long.”

He scuffed his feet. “But if it won’t take long, then there’s no point going."”

“Ah, doesn’t work like that. But once you’ve been you don’t have to go again for a while.”

"Until Steve finds something else wrong with me.”

“I know it feels like that sometimes.”

“I’m in every other week anyway.”

“You’re getting better, it’s just taking time.”

“Yeah, right.” He slammed the door for good measure. “Sure I am.”

“Hey, hey, don’t slam doors.”

“I’ll do what I want.”

Fao couldn’t help but smile. “A couple of months ago you weren’t strong enough to slam doors.”

“It was the wind.”

“Could have fooled me.”

He grumbled in reply. He didn’t have the energy to argue with Fao.

“You know I’ll stay with you the whole time, right?” Fao said, as they headed towards the car. “Can hold my hand if you want.”

“No.” He folded his arms in a huff.

“Oh, are we too cool for hand holding now?”

Finn scowled at him. It was his fault he was going to the hospital, Finn wasn’t just going to forgive him.

“That bad, eh? Oh dear.” He murmured. “How was school this morning?”

“Fine.”

“What lessons did you have?”

He shrugged. “Stuff.”

“Science? Maths? English?”

“Yeah.”

“What are you missing this afternoon then?”

“Stuff.”

“Such as?”

“Stuff.”

“Okay. You wanna hear about what I learned this morning?”

“Whatever.”

Fao sighed, and left it at that. Finn was obviously just worried, he always got grumpy when he was stressed out. He unlocked the car and opened the door. “Wanna throw your bag in the back?”

“No.”

“Want to keep it in the footwell?”

Finn just glared at him, climbing in and hugging his bag to his chest. He didn’t care for Fao’s attempts at conversation. If he really cared, he wouldn’t be taking him to hospital.

Fao just let him get on with it, getting in on the opposite side. “Seatbelt?”

An idea flickered. “If I don’t put it on, we don’t move.”

“No, Finn. Come on, put your seatbelt on.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.” He scowled at Fao. “I’m not going to and we’re not going.”

“We’ll get the bus then, if you won’t put your seatbelt on. And getting the bus means no treat after.”

Finn made a noise vaguely like a growl, knowing he wasn’t allowed to swear, and strapped his seatbelt on.

“Thank you.”

He huffed, a quiet ‘Dickhead’under his breath as he glanced at his brother.

“You know I heard that, right?”

He froze, a blush spreading up his cheeks. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You’re stressed, I’ll let it slide.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“Mmhmm.” He said, starting the car.

Finn stayed quiet as Fao drove out of the school grounds. Even nervous though, he couldn’t stay quiet for long. “What did you learn at school?”

“Oh, you do want to know?”

He grinned sheepishly at Fao. “Maybe.”

“I learned about the liver.” Fao said, glancing over at his brother.

“One thing I didn’t hurt.”

“Y’know what, I don’t know if you did or not? Not badly, at any rate.”

“What happens if you do?”

“If you hurt your liver? Well, the liver is clever, because it heals itself.”

Finn listened intently to Fao rambling about his lectures, and he had to admit it did take his mind off the looming appointment. Once at George’s, he clammed up again, refusing to leave the car. Of course, it wasn’t a surprise to Fao, it never was, and all the extra time had been factored into the travel time. Finn was eventually persuaded out of the car in exchange for Fao’s hoodie from the backseat, which he quickly wrapped himself in.

Together, they headed up to neuro, Finn silently sneaking his hand into Fao’s as they walked.

“What do you want for after?” Fao asked, as they made their way down the corridor.

“To not come here again.” Finn said quietly.

“I know. But you’ve got to pick a treat too. A new dinosaur? Ice cream? Something else?”

“I’m too old for dinosaurs.”

“Too old for dinosaurs?!”

“Yeah.”

“Never too old for dinosaurs.”

“I am.”

“Steve likes dinosaurs, and he’s even older than me.” Fao said, steering Finn into a chair to wait.

“He’s ancient.” Finn murmured, stiffening at the mention of Steve.

“Not too old for dinosaurs though.”

Finn shrugged. He didn’t want to talk.

“Ice-cream for after, then?”

“Maybe.”

“Have a think, yeah?”

He nodded and lapsed back into silence. It was almost half an hour before his name was called, by which point the butterflies in his stomach had turned into quetzalcoatluses. He felt sick and dizzy, and wasn’t convinced he wasn’t going to have a seizure.

They followed the nurse through, who was very chatty and tried to calm him down while she did his observations. All completed, he was sent back into the waiting room for Steve.

Fao was blathering on about something, Finn wasn’t paying enough attention to actually figure out what he was saying. If he got told off, he’d blame it on his absences - it wouldn’t be the first time.

He kept trying to breathe, but he couldn’t seem to take any air in. The bit he did manage did nothing. He was only growing more dizzy, his hands and feet tingling. He was going to die.

Fao could tell Finn was struggling. His questions to his younger brother went unanswered, and it wasn’t absences. Fao could tell from his breathing, the way he fidgeted. He moved to crouch in front of his brother, a hand on his knee.

“Finn? Look at me?”

Finn slowly raised his head, his breaths coming in short gasps. He needed out. He couldn’t do it.

“Hey, hey. You’re okay. I’ve got you, I’m here.” Fao soothed.

He shook his head. None of it was okay. He was going todie and Fao didn’t even care.

“Shhh, shhh. Focus on me, yeah. You’re gonna be okay, just a little panic attack.” He soothed. “It’s alright. Just look at me, yeah? I’m right here.”

Just?? Finn shook his head, pushing his brother away. “Get off.”

“You’re okay. Can you focus on me? Just me, nothing else that’s going on. You’re safe, you’re alright.”

“No.”

“I know, Finn. I know it’s scary. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, it’s okay.”

It wasn’t okay, how could he keep saying that? His eyes darted around the room, trying to find a way out. Fao wasn’t helping, nobody was.

Fao took Finn’s hand. “Here, I’m right here with you. Look at me? Just try and slow your breathing down a little? Just a tiny bit for me.”

“Get off!” He shoved Fao away as hard as could. “Getoff!”

“Alright, okay.” Fao said, glancing around the waiting room. He took a step back, letting go of his brother’s hand.

He could feel everyone’s eyes on him, and he couldn’t take it. He needed out. He stumbled to his feet. He didn’t have a choice.

“Sit down for me, Finn?” Fao said gently. “We don’t need to go anywhere yet.”

Finn couldn’t hear Fao through the rush of blood in his ears. He squeezed his eyes shut to stop the dizziness, his hand instinctively coming out to try and balance himself.

Fao came alongside him, half reaching for him. “Come on Finn, let’s sit down.”

He shook his head. He wasn’t staying.

“You’re okay. Come and sit down with me?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I’ve got to go.”

“You don’t have to go anywhere, it’s okay. We can stay here.”

“No.Please.”

“You’re safe, it’s okay.”

“I’m dying.”

“You’re not, I promise. Take my hand?”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not, I’m really not. Promise.”

Finn looked at Fao. The room was spinning and his legs felt like jelly. He whimpered quietly, too stubborn to reach for him.

Fao stretched his hands out. “Come on, Finn. It’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

“I’m right here, let’s go and sit down, yeah?”

He shook his head. Sitting down meant his appointment and he couldn’t do that.

“It’s okay. Nobody is going to hurt you.”

“They will.”

“I promise they won’t, I won’t let them.”

His legs had started to shake, but he was still not giving in. “They will. Youwill.”

“It’s alright, come on. You’re okay.”

He gritted his teeth. He couldn’t do it any longer. With a whine, he reached for Fao, his hands gripping tightly onto him.

“That’s it, I’ve got you.” He soothed, pulling him in for a hug. “I’m here.”

Finn relaxed into him, exhausted and mentally worn out. He pressed closer, fingers twisting in Fao’s hoodie.

Fao picked him up, holding him close as he moved back to the chairs. “You’re okay. Well done.”

He scrubbed his face against Fao’s chest, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. He was still completely overwhelmed with everything, and didn’t know where he stood at all.

“I’ve got you. It’s okay.” Fao told him, rubbing his back.

His breath hitched again and he hid his face fully. He didn’t want to cry, and definitely didn’t want Fao to know.

“It’s okay. Take some deep breaths.”

For once, he did as he was told, and listened to Fao. He was safe in his arms, he knew that.

“Well done. It’ll help you feel better.”

Finn smiled slightly, glad of the praise. It helped that it was making him feel better, and he was no longer on the verge of passing out. He’d almost forgotten where he was until an all too familiar voice called out.

“Finn Daniels? Ready for your appointment?”

Fao rubbed Finn’s back and stood up. “It’s alright, I’ll carry you. C'mon, nearly done now.”

No. 11 - JUST KEEP SWIMMING

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adrift | drowning | dehydration

Family holidays were still weird for Harrison. He supposed it was also a bit for Fao, too, but he’d settled in a lot better. After all, he’d been adopted almost straight away. Fao would often return from uni to join them as Finn got older, and enjoyed the time away. As Finn’s seizures started to settle, him slowly gaining more control over them, they began to venture further afield again.

Harrison had been staying at the Daniels’ while he tried to get back on his feet. Sheila had helped him enrol in college, and had started him back on the straight and narrow. He’d been working so hard while he stayed with them, that it was only natural to invite him along, especially since Fao and Hars had settled their differences.

They’d hired a caravan by the sea for a few weeks, far enough away to be a holiday, but close enough to a major hospital as a just in case. While both Fao and Harrison were old enough to be left to their own devices, Finn still had to be watched, and often carefully. With Sheila and Fred wanting an afternoon to themselves, it was up to the boys to keep an eye on him. It was a rarity that Sheila and Fred got any time alone, so they were set to make the most of it, a nice meal after a while exploring.

Finn had pestered and pestered everyone to take him swimming. Mainly, he just wanted to dick around with the floats and go down the slides more than actually swim, but he had to get them there first.

After a bit of reluctance, they finally gave in. Harrison wasn’t keen; he’d had bad experiences, and he wasn’t the strongest of swimmers either. They needed both of them there, though. It wouldn’t be the first time Finn had seized in a pool.

While Fao and Finn chased each other back and forth, hurtling balls at each other’s heads (Finn never learned), Harrison stayed away from it. He took a while to relax, finally sliding in from the side and floating around in a ring while he kept an eye on the two of them. After a while and too much of Finn’s insistence, he joined in. As long as he didn’t have to get his hair wet, he’d be fine.

It was actually fun, once he’d let himself go a bit. Finn’s energy was contagious, and Harrison actually found himself laughing along with the other two. It was nice to be part of a family, to have siblings of sorts and no responsibilities He tired quickly though, returning to stand by the side of the pool, floating on his stomach and just watching the world go by.

Fao was enjoying himself, away from the stresses of uni. He was able to spend time with his family, Harrison was a bonus, and he always enjoyed holidays. The weather was good, Sheila and Fred were in a good mood, and Finn was able to enjoy himself.

They’d been messing about for a while when Harrison took a break, and after a few minutes giving him some space, Fao made his way over.

“Hey. You alright?”

“Just tired.”

“God, tell me about it. Don’t know where Finn gets the energy from.”

“He’s all over the place.”

“Hard to believe he was in hospital.”

“Think he’s an alien.”

“Superhuman.”

“Nah, definitely an alien.”

“You’re probably right.”

Harrison flinched as Finn threw a ball at the pair of them, screwing his face up as he was splashed. “Think your highness wants your attention.”

Fao turned away, frowning. “Finn! What have I told you about throwing stuff at us?!”

“You’re being boring!” Finn called. “Come play!”

“We’re taking a break because we’re old!”

“You can go, I’m okay.” Harrison told him.

“Sure?”

“Yeah, course.”

Fao flashed him a smile and turned away to Finn, his younger brother still busy causing chaos with seemingly endless amounts of energy.

Harrison smiled at the pair, happy to keep his distance and just watch. He was reaching his limit of being in the water, his fingers starting to prune and the smell of chlorine getting too overwhelming. The lifeguard’s whistle made him jump and instinctively turn to see what was happening. He caught the float out the corner of his eye, but he was too late to move out of the way.

The hit disorientated him immediately, knocking him off his own float. The water was too deep for him to stand and he went straight under. He couldn’t breathe. Deep down, he knew he shouldn’t even try, but he naturally and desperately gasped for air. Water filled his lungs and he coughed and choked, only succeeding in taking in more water.

His hands scrabbled to try and get himself above water, but his mind was already elsewhere. He was going to die. He could hear his parents shouting at him, feel their hands around his wrists and throat, pushing him under. He choked again. More water. Another hit. They’d normally have let him up, but there was no sign of stopping. He was going to die.

It was as soon as Fao turned to Finn that all hell broke loose. There was shouting, and splashing, and someone kicked out into his leg. He whipped back around just in time to see Harrison go down under the surface.

“Finn! Stay put, kid!” He called to his brother, and then turned back to the chaos. Harrison hadn’t surfaced yet. Why hadn’t he surfaced? It was taking too long, far too long. A quick glance around told him nobody was coming quick enough, and so he took a deep breath and went under himself.

He found Harrison easily, writhing and choking under the water, and grabbed him. It was difficult, there were still people everywhere, but he hauled him up to the surface and over to the side, his own chest heaving.

Harrison fought against the hands holding him in blind panic, kicking and scratching in an attempt to get free. He coughed and retched against the air, struggling to get a breath in. With his struggling, he slipped back under for a moment, immediately taking in more water.

He was heavy when he was panicking, and Fao groaned. He pushed on, though, hauling Harrison up further to keep his head above the water.

It was hard work, harder than Fao had expected it to be, but Harrison was a dead weight. He shouted at people to move, eventually reaching the side of the pool, which he was bloody grateful for.

The lifeguards had finally jumped into action, and met Fao at the side. Despite Harrison’s fighting, they quickly hauled him out of the pool and onto the side. He barely had the energy to keep himself propped up, his whole body trembling. He continued to retch and gag, bringing up the water he’d inhaled. His arm gave out from under him, and he sprawled on the deck again.

Fao shot the lifeguards a look, not exactly happy with how long it had taken them to help out.

“It’s alright, Harrison. You’re alright now.” Fao soothed, helping him to stay upright. “That’s it, get it up.”

Harrison grabbed onto Fao, his nails digging into his skin. He choked again, bringing up more water. It was almost worse than being underwater. Somehow he was still drowning.

“You’re okay. I’ve got you, it’s gonna be okay.” Fao murmured, rubbing his back.

“Does he have any medical conditions? Did he hit his head?” The lifeguard asked from beside Fao, his radio ready.

“Nothing relevant, and I don’t know. He’ll need an ambulance, I’m a med student. He ought to be checked.”

“We’re just calling one now. Did you see what happened?”

“No, just what happened after.”

Exhausted, Harrison let himself fully flop onto Fao. He continued coughing, though not much was coming up. The fight had drained from him, all the adrenaline he’d had from the panic long gone.

“It’s alright, just breathe.” Fao soothed.

Finn, of course, couldn’t be left out. He wormed his way through the small crowd surrounding Fao and Hars, kneeling next to his big brother. “Fao?”

“It’s alright, Finn. Hars just got caught under the water, he’s okay.”

He looked up at Fao, worry etched onto his face. “Is he going to die?”

“No, no. He’s okay.”

Harrison flinched at the foil blanket placed over him, trying to get away with what little he had left.

Finn screwed his face at the mess on the floor surrounding Harrison, but carefully moved closer. “You’re okay. It’s keeping you warm, right?”

“Finn’s right. Just to keep you warm, Hars.”

He slowly stretched out his hand to take Harrison’s. “You’re okay. We’re here.”

No. 10 - OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN

@whumptober2021

@whumptober-archive

hospital | flare-up | ice chips

Harrison normally loved the busier shifts. They kept his mind occupied, which was only a bonus. The hard work often meant he’d fall into bed and go straight to sleep. But today was different.

He’d woken up in the middle of the night with cramps down his thigh, which took an age to settle. By the time they’d worn off, it had been time to get up for work, which had been less than ideal.

With an hour left of his shift, he was really struggling. He’d already snapped at two other nurses, threatened to punch Finn, and downed as many painkillers as he could. He’d disappeared to the toilets to check on his prosthesis on more than one occasion, just to make sure it wasn’t rubbing. Or pouring with blood as it felt. Every step sent a stab of pain through his foot and calf, even though they were no longer there. It made it worse than the actual pain, knowing there was nothing he could do to fix it.

Broken bones? Easy. Heart attacks? Not a problem. Phantom pain? He was fucked.

Back at the nurses station, he groaned, dropping his head into the keyboard. His pile of patients was only growing, and they just seemed to be getting more and more daft. He didn’t have the patience.

Fao was leaning against the nurse’s station, writing a set of notes when Harrison sat down with a groan. It was unmistakably his friend, one of the nurses had said he was having a bad day. He looked like it, too.

He shoved his pen into his bun and looked up.

“You alright, Tomcat?”

“I’ve got no more room.” He answered from the keyboard. “If you want a patient brought in, move them out of the ED first.”

“My patients are fine. Was asking after you, dumbass.”

“I’m fine.”

“You look it. Just really love that keyboard, eh?”

He pushed himself up, spinning on his chair. “What do you want?”

“Was just wondering if you were alright, given how you just assaulted that keyboard.”

He ran his hand through his hair as he looked at the screen. “Just notes.”

“Anything I can help with?”

“Can do all my patients.”

“Gonna be hard if I’ve not seen them.”

“You can do that too.” He said with a grimace.

“Thought you might say that. When do you finish?”

“Another hour at least.”

“Could be worse. You’ll be in handover soon. Need anything? Water? Coffee?”

He looked up at Fao. “You know exactly what I want.”

Fao softened. “I know, I know. Anything else, though? Sugar, maybe?”

“No, I’m alright. Thanks.”

“Are you gonna go out when you finish, or…?”

“I’ll get a taxi if I do.”

“Look after yourself, yeah?”

“Are you going to stand there and interrogate me, or are you going to let me work?”

Fao ducked his head. “I’ll let you work, sorry.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He snapped.

Fao went back to his notes after that, pulling his pen out of his bun and starting to write again.

Harrison swore at him under his breath, and actually tried to do some work. It didn’t take long before he was called away, though, and he could have cried. He struggled to his feet, biting hard on his lip to stop himself crying out in pain.

Fao frowned at his friend, the way he was obviously in pain as he stood. He didn’t know whether or not to say anything, so settled with speaking to one of the nurses he knew quite well, asking her if she’d give Harrison a hand if she could. He knew he’d probably just get help thrown back in his face if he tried.

He put a brave face on while he saw to the patient, but as soon as they were moved back to the waiting room, his facade snapped. It was so obvious to him that Fao had sent the nurse after him, knowing that he wouldn’t speak to her the same as he would Fao. He assured her he was fine, forced another smile and gave an excuse about needing the toilet again. With one hand steadying himself on the wall, he headed to the changing room, just desperate for five minutes of peace.

Fao couldn’t watch him struggle like that. It genuinely looked like if he took his hand off of the wall, he’d fall over. He’d finished his notes, and had been reading a radiology report when he decided he couldn’t stand by and watch Harrison suffer. He caught up to him in a few easy strides, and stood in front of him.

“What do you need to make things easier?” He asked, voice low. “I’m not stupid enough to try and send you home, but you need something to help, Tomcat.”

He wasn’t surprised Fao had stuck his nose where he wasn’t wanted and he frowned at him. “Just leave me alone.”

“Come on, why don’t we go and sit down?” He said, unfazed. They weren’t far from the changing room.

“Where do you think I was going?” He snapped. “Let me get on with it.”

Fao raised an eyebrow, but moved to let him into the changing room. He followed him in, obviously, and sat down. “Talk to me?”

“I just need five minutes, Fao. Give me the space.”

“I’m worried about you, Tomcat.” He said gently. “What’s wrong?”

“Right now? The fact you won’t leave me alone!”

“Is it your leg? Prosthesis rubbing?”

“You, being a dick.”

“Come on, that’s not fair. You looked like the wall was holding you up. Looked worse than me on a bad day, hmm?”

“Fao, please. I just need five minutes.”

“I just want to help.”

“You can’t. I just need five minutes. Please.”

“Not even a hug?”

He scoffed, though it quickly broke into a sob. He didn’t need Fao being nice to him, he didn’t need any of the pity. He dropped his head to his hands, trying to cover his mouth to stop the sounds.

“Oh come here, you daft shite.” Fao said, looping his arm around his shoulders. “It’s alright.”

Harrison collapsed into him, his chest heaving. He’d tried to stay strong, to just ignore it and get on with work, but the pain had just become unbearable. It made it worse that there wasn’t anything he could do for it, that it wasn’t even real.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you. You’re alright.” Fao soothed.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly between tears.

“Don’t be sorry. You don’t need to be sorry.”

“It won’t stop.”

“Phantom?”

He nodded into Fao’s chest. “Since last night.”

“How can I help?”

“You can’t. Nothing does.”

“What about something like TENS?”

“Haven’t got one.”

“Pain management have a stash, I know where it is. Or we can just sit here and feel miserable, if that’s what you wanna do. Don’t always have to have a solution.”

“I thought I was over this.”

“These things come and go.” He said gently. “You’ll have good days and bad days.”

“I was better.” He looked up at Fao. “I’ve been trying. I don’t deserve this.”

“I know. You don’t deserve any of it. But the nerves are all screwy in that leg and it’s gonna happen. It will ease.”

“I’ve still got patients to see.”

“Let’s just worry about you, first. You’re no good to patients if you’re in this much pain.”

“I’ve got to work, I can’t just stop.”

Fao hummed. “I get that. But could you cope if a major trauma came in right now?”

“I’d have to.”

“You’re in no fit state.”

“I’m fine.”

“You need to go home.”

“I’m nearly finished.”

“All the more reason to call it a day.”

“Fao, please.”

“Come on, you know you can’t work like this.”

“I’ve done all shift like this.” He pulled back from Fao, rubbing his thigh.

Fao rested his hand on Harrison’s thigh. “You need to stop, yeah? You’re not going to make this any better by pushing on through. Take your leg off, and go home.”

“It doesn’t make it any better!”

“Is it worth a try?”

“No.”

“Alright.”

He rubbed his face. “I just need to finish this shift.”

“I’m here if you need anything, yeah?”

With a heavy sigh, he nodded. “Yeah.”

No. 9 - RUMORS OF MY DEATH HAVE BEEN GREATLY EXAGGERATED

@whumptober2021

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presumed dead | (blind) rage | tears

“Do we have to do this?” There was more than a hint of hesitation to his tone.

“We don’t have a choice. I need you to trust me.”

“But what about Fao-”

“Harrison. Please. Do this for me. Finn? He needs to die.”

Things hadn’t been the same at the Daniels, everyone moping around and just not doing much at all. Harrison and Steve had paid their respects and then quickly left, making various excuses. Jess, on the other hand, hadn’t even shown up. Her apartment was locked, and hadn’t any signs of anyone living there whenever Fred had sent someone round to check on her. Her brother promised he’d seen her, relieving some of their worry. Besides, they had so much more to worry about.

Fred hadn’t believed it at first, none of them had. But, they’d seen the body. Steve had assured them it was Finn and there was no foul play, so that was that.

Life had to go on, they didn’t have a choice but to. There was a small wake organised, closed casket, and only for the closer members of the gang. It was more formality than anything, a sign of respect for Finn, something that a lot of the previous members hadn’t been privileged enough to get.

Since Finn’s side operation had gone sideways, Steve and Harrison had gone to ground. Sure, they attended what they had to with the Daniels, but the more they could keep out of the way, the better. The cops had been far too close to arresting one of them, and they couldn’t have it. They couldn’t have Fred finding out that way, and they doubted he’d be able to get their charges cut too. Steve had to be careful too; the hospital was already suspicious of his police record.

Harrison had work to do, anyway. A loner with no alliances, he was often contacted for various other jobs. Fred knew that too, as did Finn, and always held him at arm’s length. After all, someone with such switching loyalties was just asking for trouble. He was useful for finding moles, often recognising men from other rival gangs. His alliance with Fred was stronger than most realised though, and it wasn’t ever a coincidence their names would end up on Fred’s desk, and then their bodies in the river.

Fred had organised a raid on a nearby warehouse, a front for a rival’s drug ring. While none of what he did was exactly legal, he did have standards, and spent a lot of time making sure others by their turf did the same. Certain weapons and forged documents were often passed without much guilt, but drugs were different. They had their outreach programmes, and often took a large chunk of their community help.

Harrison had agreed to go with them, an apparent favour to Fred. It was a simple enough mission for him; in and out, with just a hint of murder.

While the rest of Fred’s men dealt with the ring, Harrison slipped away. He was quiet on his feet, appearing behind his mark and quickly dragging him away. It was a swift and practiced end, though it still made his stomach twist. It wasn’t the first man he’d killed, and he knew it wouldn’t be his last. He dumped the body, hoping it would just be seen as a casualty of the raid. He strolled casually back to the rest of the fight, took a few men out that were too close and gaining on Fao, and then hopped back in Steve’s van. He’d done what he’d had to do, he wasn’t being paid for more than that.

Ever since Finn’s… Death, Fao hadn’t trusted anyone in the family. Something was going on, he knewit. He could feel it. He’d know if Finn really was gone, he’d feel it. And with Harrison sniffing around, it felt even more like something was amiss. Fao enjoyed the other man’s company, he always had done, but with Finn gone it really felt like something was going on.

Even with his suspicions, Fao had been acting recklessly. Too much alcohol, too many cigarettes. He was easy to provoke, always getting into fights, and he was happy enough to go out with Fred on this mission. It would give him a reason to get his blood up, to punch people and get away with it. He saw Harrison take out a couple of people getting too close to him, and then he just… disappeared. Gone, and he wasn’t there when the fight was over. Something had to be going on.

The raid had gone smoothly for everyone involved. Fred had silenced a rival, and Harrison had taken his mark out. It wasn’t fully finished, he knew that. It would be a few weeks before they were sure it had had the correct result, but it was a move in the right direction.

It was nervous waiting, Harrison flitting from boss to boss and finishing what he had to. When he got the call it was over, he was more than relieved. It had gone on for far too long, though luckily not as long as they’d originally planned for. Arrangements were made, weapons changed hands, and time moved on. He’d done what he needed to, murdered people he never thought he would. He never wanted to be involved like that again. He said his goodbyes to Fao, thanked Sheila and Fred for their offer to stay, and disappeared into the early evening.

The evening dragged into night, with Fao irritable and unable to sleep. He wasn’t sure who else was up, and he didn’t really care, but he headed downstairs after a few hours of tossing and turning, lighter and cigarettes in hand.

He wasn’t going to bother turning the lights on in the kitchen, but they were already on when he got downstairs, and he could hear someone moving around in there. He’d thought everyone was in bed, but maybe not. Now on his guard, he edged into the room, footsteps light on the wooden floor.

He’d not expected to see Fao so soon, and not like this. He cleared his throat. “Don’t shoot.”

Fao froze, barely believing what he was seeing.

“‘don’t shoot’?! Don’t fucking shoot?! I’ve half a mind to, now. What the fuck, Finn?!”

He laughed uncomfortably, placing the bag of crisps back on the table. “Shh, you’re going to wake everyone else up.”

“You come back from the dead and the first thing you say to me is don’t shoot?!”

“I - I’m sorry.” He softened. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“I thought you were dead, Finn.” Fao said, his voice cracking. “We had a funeral.”

“It had to be real.”

Fao’s hands curled into fists at his side. “Why? What was so awful that you had to disappear without telling me? Maybe the alcohol has caught up with me and I’m seeing things. One too many concussions. I need you to explain what’s going on, and yesterday.”

“Why don’t we take a breath?” Finn backed away slightly, his hands raised. “I’ll make coffee, we can get mum and dad up.”

“Harrison knew, didn’t he?”

“Get some biscuits, relax a bit, y'know?”

“That’s a yes, then. Who else knew? Was I the only one?!” Fao stepped closer.

“Harrison had to take me out. There was a mole, he was going to end up hurting one of you.”

“And what, you couldn’t speak to me? Your brother.Who else knew?!”

“Just Steve.” He backed further away, his back hitting the cupboards. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?”

“I didn’t want to!”

Fao closed the distance between them and grabbed Finn’s shoulders, slamming him hard into the cupboards behind him.

Finn groaned, but didn’t fight back. “Ow?”

“I could fucking kill you!”

“Go ahead.”

“Don’t be an ass.” He grumbled, and moved to pull him in for a hug. “I never want to lose you again.”

Finn hesitated before wrapping his arms around Fao. “It’s been hell.”

“You’re telling me.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, dickhead.” He mumbled. “I really need that fucking cigarette now.”

Their hug was interrupted by the hallway light flicking on and the sound of the safety flipping back on. Fred and Sheila stood in the doorway, staring in shock at the pair.

“I need a fucking drink.”

Fao laughed hoarsely. “I think we all do.”

“I brought wine?” Finn offered, holding up a bottle after rummaging through his bag. “Jess and I didn’t finish it.”

Fao reached for it. “Wine will do.”

No.8 Coughing Up A Lung

@whumptober2021

@whumptober-archive

pneumothorax | exotic illness | “Definitely just a cold”

Despite his best efforts, Fao was ill. It was unsurprising, really. Winter was well and truly upon them, freezing cold days and grey skies. They’d been understaffed at work, so he had been flat out with overtime and limited days off. Exhausted and freezing cold was not a good combination when the winter viruses were going around. 

It had started with the classic sore throat, headache, sniffle. Just a cold. He couldn’t call in sick, so as usual, he pushed on through. Everyone told him to stop being so stubborn, to take a day or two off and just rest before he made himself worse, but he didn’t listen. There was too much that needed doing at work - they were stretched as it was. Another surgeon down and they’d be cancelling more surgeries. Not to mention what it would do to emergency availability. 

When the coughing started, he was well and truly suffering. His chest was always bad, his own doing primarily, and he knew this cold would likely sit on his chest. Still, he didn’t have time to take off, couldn’t let his colleagues down. He swallowed meds and survived on throat sweets and ignored the endlessly present tickle in his throat. He did his best to ignore the wheeze in his chest, too. It was enough to make even a med student on the ward frown at him. The cigarette he’d had on his lunch break probably didn’t help matters. 

He wasn’t stupid enough to think he was fine, he was just stressed enough not to care. He never had time to be ill. If he wasn’t careful, he’d end up getting Finn sick, which would end badly, but he kept his distance and tried his best to protect his brother. He was hardly home, anyway. 

His cough got worse and worse, as it often did with these kind of things, and he sounded virtually hoarse. It was late one evening after work, stretched out on the sofa, he couldn’t stop coughing. It was giving him chest pain by this point, an ache across his ribs that he couldn’t shift. 

With Finn hiding at Jess’, and Fred and Sheila unable to talk sense into their oldest son, Harrison was sent over to sort things out. He had a key, of course, and simply let himself in and went straight to Fao, who was still very much curled up in bed. 

All it took was a single bout of coughing for him to order Fao into hospital, in a tone that left no room for arguments. Fao didn’t really have the energy to protest it anyway. 

It was obvious he was pretty ill when he didn’t have to wait too long in the ED. After a quick exam and some bloods he was sent sharpish for a chest x-ray, which revealed a significant case of pneumonia. That wasn’t the worst of it, though. As was fairly standard for him with a bad chest like this, he had a pneumothorax. It wasn’t the first time, it probably wouldn’t be the last, either. It explained why his breathing and chest pain had got considerably worse. 

Another scar found its place on the patchwork on his chest when they put in a chest tube, and admitted him for observations and IV antibiotics. It was a pretty significant infection that needed monitoring. He really wasn’t impressed, and spent the majority of his time waiting for a bed complaining that he really wasn’t that sick and he’d do fine with a hot bath and some oral antibiotics. He was ignored, obviously, but he hated being on the wards. He always felt so out of place, so vulnerable. And Finn didn’t even visit him, which he hated. He really missed his brother. 

No. 7 - MY SPIDEY-SENSE IS TINGLING

@whumptober2021

@whumptober-archive

helplessness | numbness | blindness

Finn still wasn’t used to his flares, and he certainly wasn’t used to dealing with them on his own.

Living with Fao was great, but he missed the constant availability of his parents, as much as he’d hate to admit it.

He’d been putting off giving into his flare for several days, too busy with uni to allow himself to rest. When he woke up with another migraine, he didn’t have a choice but to reconsider. That didn’t stop him from trying to ignore it, of course it didn’t. He made it to the edge of the bed, sitting up shakily. The nausea was horrendous and overwhelmed him, growing worse with each breath.

He couldn’t be sick in his room, the panic rising quickly. It was Fao’s flat, he’d tell him off, not to mention he was an adult and he shouldn’t do that.

Finn let out a quiet whine, torn between crying out for Fao and just letting it all overwhelm him and giving in. After fighting with himself for a few minutes, he gave in, calling for Fao.

No response.

His phone wasn’t in his bed either, so he couldn’t call him, or his parents, or Jess. He was stranded.

The dizziness overwhelmed him as he stood, immediately stumbling into the wall. He kept muttering to himself, trying to encourage his body to work, to let him get to Fao.

His feet felt like ice, numb and barely under his control. It was spreading too, he was sure of it.

Electric shocks jarred his brain with every step, the pain making the dizziness worse. He stumbled, falling to his knees with a cry. With his arms outstretched, he caught his wrists as he fell, instinctively pulling them to his chest and overbalancing. He tipped, shoulder slamming into the wall and then the floor.

He couldn’t get back up, his body no longer under control. His vision was starting to go too, a seizure definitely looming. Slurred and barely there, he cried out, desperately calling for his brother. He needed help, needed anyone.

Nobody came, and he curled up, helpless and alone, stranded on the landing.

No. 6 - TOUCH AND GO

@whumptober2021

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bruises | touchstarved | hunger

part 1//part 2 //part 3

Harrison’s attempt at visiting the Daniels had - obviously - gone very wrong. He’d never intended to get in a fight, and certainly not with their newest foster kid. Though he wasn’t quite sure he was just a foster. The way he acted with Finn and Fred was more like family, like an actual son. Not that he knew what that felt like.

Sheila was Sheila. She always looked out for her kids, fosters or otherwise. She’d treat them as a member of the family no matter what. Although, making him sleep in the bathroom didn’t feel very much like family. And, of course, that had nothing to do with him vomiting all over the car. Not in the slightest.

He stretched out with a groan, squinting his eyes open. Fred was still on guard, sitting at the door to keep an eye on him. He wasn’t sure if he was checking he was okay or making sure he wasn’t going to cause more trouble, but the company was kind of nice. It was more than he was used to, anyway.

He slowly sat up, his muscles protesting and stomach twisting. He had nothing left to be sick, and hadn’t eaten in a few days, so put it down to hunger rather than anything else. He hoped it was.

Fred was asleep, arms folded across his chest as he was propped up against the wall. Harrison didn’t want to wake him, he knew he’d kept him up all night as it was. Sheila was off with Fao, he’d heard her go in to see him late the night before and hadn’t heard her come back out. It only added to the suspicion that Fao had been adopted.

He struggled to his feet, shutting the toilet door; he wasn’t going to piss with Fred watching. Although, judging by the fact he wasn’t in his clothes, he assumed he already had.

“Hars? You alright in there?” Fred rapped on the door.

He jumped. “Uh, yeah. Fine. Just pissing.”

“Alright. Let me know if you need help.”

“I’m not a child.” He snapped.

“It’s the most coherent you’ve been in a few days, excuse me for caring.” Fred retorted.

“Sorry.” He finished washing his hands before opening the door. “I’m okay.”

Fred offered him a smile. “Glad to hear it. Breakfast?”

He shook his head. “Not hungry.”

“Hot chocolate, then. Come on.”

Harrison groaned, but knew better than to disagree. He followed Fred downstairs, making his way into the living room. He grabbed a blanket from the pile Sheila always kept by the sofa and curled up.

Fred wasn’t long, bringing the younger boy a mug brimming with marshmallows and a little cream. He sat by Harrison, waiting for the boy to initiate any contact. They sat in silence for a while, Harrison drinking his chocolate slowly. Fred ended up turning on the TV to fill some of the silence, hoping to alleviate some of the awkwardness.

Harrison took his time with his mug, eventually placing it on the table beside him. He still flinched at the ceramic hitting the slate coasters, taking a moment to relax. He sat back and tried to watch the TV for a bit, but he just couldn’t settle. After a while fighting it, he slowly lay down, his back almost against Fred’s leg.

Fred took his time, but slowly and carefully moved to rest his hand on Harrison’s shoulder. “There you go, kid. Just chill. You’re safe now.”

No. 5 - I’VE GOT RED IN MY LEDGER

@whumptober2021

@whumptober-archive

betrayal | misunderstanding|brokennose

part 1 //part 2//part 3

Harrison hadn’t seen the Daniels in years. He’d been passed from foster to foster, causing problems wherever he ended up. When his final placement fell through, he had nowhere else to go. He had no support to get on his own two feet, no education to get a job, and far too much alcohol to do much else.

His funds quickly dwindled, and nobody would help him. The little help he did get, he refused to accept it, kicking off until they left him alone. After a week of no electricity or water, he gave in, packed his bags, and headed for the Daniels.

By the time he got there, several buses and a few miles walk later, it was dark. His phone was long out of charge and he knew he should have called first, but he wasn’t that considerate. There was a chill to the air, but the alcohol kept him warm despite only being in a t-shirt. It took a few attempts to find the correct door, a few wrong answers and several angry people. He hammered on the door again, leaning against the frame.

Fao liked being home. Uni had been great when he lived away, but after Finn’s accident he needed his family, and Fao was glad to be there for him. Recovery had been slow, but he was always there to help his little brother out.

Everyone was scattered about the house when there was a knock at the door. Fred was cooking, Sheila was upstairs doing something, and Finn was apparently doing his homework (though Fao had his doubts). Fao was stretched out on the sofa reading at the time, the loud sound startling him. Were they expecting someone? Sheila hadn’t said anything.

He stood up and crossed the room to the front door, pulling it open. He didn’t recognise the boy stood in front of him, in scruffy clothes and looking slightly unsteady. He was probably a couple of years younger than Fao, but not much younger than that. He looked skinny and unkempt, and Fao frowned.

“Can I help you?”

“The fuck are you?”

“Uh, I live here?”

Harrison scowled at him. “Where’s Sheila?”

“Upstairs. You got a name, kid?”

“Fred, then.” He glanced past Fao. “Where’s he?”

“Look, who are you?”

“I don’t have to answer to you.” He swayed slightly. “Just get them, will you?”

“I don’t know who you are. Why should I get them?”

“Because I’ve asked you to.”

“I don’t even know who you are.” Fao said, folding his arms over his chest.

“So go get them.”

“I’m not just letting you walk into my house.” Fao’s voice was hard.

“Did I ask to walk in "your” house?“

“I live here, it’s just as much my house.”

"Like fuck is it. ”

“So you’re just gonna show up at the door and tell me what is and isn’t my house?”

“Fuck off with your high and mighty attitude, mate.”

“You’ve really got some balls, haven’t you? I just want to know what the fuck you actually want.”

Harrison shoved him. “I’ve told you.”

“Hey, hey. Watch it.” Fao growled, pushing him back.

“Stop being such a dick then.”

“What the fuck is your problem?”

“I’ve asked you to get Fred and you’re being an absolute dick.” He squared up to Fao. “So, yeah. You’remy problem.”

Fao pushed him back, hard. “Oh, fuck off. Stop being such a fucking cunt.”

Harrison stumbled back, tripping over the front step and landing sprawled in the driveway. “You’re the fucking cunt.”

“Yeah, whatever mate.”

He struggled to his feet. “You’re a fucking wanker.”

“Says you.”

He swung for the other boy, frustrated beyond belief. It wasn’tfair.

The other boy was slow and uncoordinated, and Fao countered his punch with his own, sharp and angry. He wasn’t taking any more shit from him.

Harrison staggered back. Fao’s punch had landed, making its mark on his cheek. Blood welled in his mouth and he swore before he spat it out. He swung again.

Harrison’s counter attack landed well, Fao reveling in his hit and too distracted to dodge. He staggered back into the hallway, reeling.

“Dickhead.” He spat.

Fao gripped the wall, his head spinning. “You’re fuckin’ insane.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be such a wanker.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t just stand there and act like you own everything!” Fao snapped, his voice harsh.

“Coming from you, that’s rich.” Harrison shook his head. “I asked for one thing and you think you rule the place.”

“Almost as if it’s my house.”

“Yeah, right.”

Fao’s cheek, where Harrison had caught him, was throbbing, and he was sure a bruise was forming already.

“You’ve yet to give me a good reason why I should let you in.”

“I didn’t ask to come in, did I?” He spat. “I asked for Sheila or Fred.”

“What do you want them for anyway? How do you even know them?”

He wasn’t going to admit that. “I just do, alright? Please.”

“I’m not getting them without knowing why.”

“For fuck’s sake!” He snapped, trying to balance himself on the doorframe. “I’ve just fucking asked you to get them!”

Fao just reacted as the other boy moved to lean on the doorframe, and swung another punch at him. He had to look out for his family.

Harrison dropped like a sack of shit, landing in a crumpled heap. He hadn’t even seen Fao’s punch coming. Sheila, on the other hand, had.

“Faolan!”

Fao wasn’t a complete arsehole, when the other boy hit the deck he moved to crouch next to him, but Sheila’s shout made him flinch. Fuck.

“Go get Fred. You’ve done enough.” Her tone was hard as she placed her hand on his shoulder. “Go on.”

“I didn’t…” He said quietly. “I jus’…”

“Move it.” She clicked her fingers at him. “Now.”

His words died on his tongue and he stood up, bolting back into the house. Guilt curled in his stomach, and he went in search of Fred.

Sheila crouched by Harrison, gently rubbing his shoulder. Blood was pouring from his nose and his lip was split. She rolled her eyes. Boys.

Harrison jerked back from her hand, disorientated and swinging immediately. Nothing landed and despite his blurred vision he recognised Sheila, reaching for her with shaky hands.

Fred was cooking, and Fao was filled with dread as he stepped into the kitchen, bravado completely drained out of him. “F-Fred?”

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“Sh-Sheila wants you. D-door.”

He turned, still half-heartedly stirring. “What happened?”

He couldn’t do much more than lamely shrug his shoulders, struggling for words. “She wants you.”

Fred knew there was more going on, but also that he wasn’t going to get any more from Fao. “Stir that. I’ll back in a minute.”

Fao nodded. He could stir, he’d be out of the way then. He moved closer, aware of the blood on his knuckles. He was shaking, virtually trembling.

Fred wasn’t long, not entirely surprised to find Sheila crouched over a very confused Harrison. It had been a few years since they’d seen him, but he’d often turn up every few years anyway. The teenager had already thrown up over the front step, though Sheila had managed to start to control his bleeding nose - it was obviously broken.

The pair helped Harrison to his feet - he didn’t weigh much, more lanky than anything- and slowly took him through to the living room. They’d have to go to hospital, there was no doubt about that, but they needed to get him sorted enough to be fine in the car.

Fao kept quiet in the kitchen, leaning against one of the counters to keep himself upright. His legs felt weak, his chest a little tight. He’d fucked up, they were going to kick him out.

Fred called for Finn before he headed back through to the kitchen. Though Fao had attempted to stir, they needed to leave and it would be ruined by the time they got back. Fao looked like he’d seen a ghost, and he had a pretty nasty bruise blossoming around his eye too.

“Grab a hoodie, She’s taking us to hospital.”

Fao startled, looking up. “‘m fine. I’ll jus’ go up to my room, out of the way.” He said quietly.

“Not a chance.”

“‘m fine.”

“Yeah? That bruise looks fine. Hoodie, car, five minutes.”

He didn’t have a choice, did he? He toyed with just hiding in his room anyway, and then thought better of it. He didn’t want to get into any more trouble. So he abandoned the cooking, and rushed upstairs to grab a hoodie, feeling distinctly lightheaded.

They’d already managed to get Harrison into the car, a dish between his legs for when he inevitably threw up. Fao was directed to the front seat, Finn shoved in the back with his mum. He wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, but had quickly been distracted.

Fred turned to Fao, offering him an ice pack. “You don’t look too great. Are you going to puke as well?”

He shook his head, but took the ice. “No.”

“Are you gonna pass out on me?”

“Probably not.”

“You feel dizzy?” He checked as he pulled off the drive.

“Not really.” It wasn’t a completelie.

“So, yes.” Fred rolled his eyes. “Let me know if it gets worse.”

“Notdizzy. I’m fine.”

He let out a heavy sigh. “We’re not impressed with all of…this. We’ll deal with it later, but right now, we need to make sure you two are okay.”

“Sorry.” He looked down at his lap. “I can go back to my flat after we’ve come back.”

“We’re not having a repeat of last time.”

He made a noise in protest. “I won’t.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll get it sorted.”

“Sorry.”

“Not me you need to apologise to, is it?”

“Oh.”

“He definitely came out worse off than you.” Fred glanced at Fao. “You’ve got a surprisingly good punch on you.”

“Rugby.” He mumbled.

“Yeah. Better be careful on nights out.” He said. “Don’t want you getting in trouble.”

“‘m careful.”

“Apparently so.”

Fao was quiet, staring down at his lap, the bruises blooming over his knuckles. “Sorry.”

“Hey.” Fred reached out to rest a hand on Fao’s knee. “It’s going to be okay.”

Fao flinched, pulling away with a sharp intake of breath.

“Sorry, sorry.” Fred placed his hand back on the steering wheel.

“It’s fine.”

He hummed. “Sure. That’s why we’re driving to A&E at this time of night.”

“I don’t need A&E.”

“That one does.” He gestured to Harrison. “Kinda your fault.”

“I didn’t mean to…”

Fred raised his eyebrow. “Looks like you did.”

“I-” Fao cut himself off. “Nevermind.”

“At least we don’t need a guard dog.”

“I was only trying to…”

“Break his nose? Did a good job at that.”

“No.” He protested, his voice wavering.

“What, then?”

“Doesn’t matter, does it? Still fucking did it.”

“I’m not swearing at you, I don’t appreciate you swearing at me.” He warned.

“Sorry.” He mumbled, and decided not to say anything else.

Fred didn’t bother to reply. There was no talking to him when he was like that, and he didn’t really have the energy. Harrison was still throwing up in the back seat, Sheila having her work cut out trying to soothe him and keep Finn distracted.

Every time the other boy vomited, Fao winced. It wasn’t exactly pleasant, adding nausea to his guilt. He had half a mind to bolt when they got to the hospital, but he knew he wouldn’t get away with it.

Fred pulled in, dropping the car close to the entrance. “Fao, you go in with Sheila and Hars. I’m going to take Finn home. You can call me when you’re done.”

He nodded, pulling his hoodie closer, and got out of the car wordlessly. He waited for Sheila and Harrison, looking down at the floor.

Sheila said goodbye to her husband and son, walking the other two into the emergency reception. “I don’t know what went on between the two of you, but if you two cause any problems in the emergency department, so help me god.”

Fao shook his head. “Won’t.”

Harrison’s agreement was with his head in the sick bowl, looking up at Fao and then Sheila. “He started it.”

“Didn’t.”

“Did too.”

Fao huffed. “It’s always my fault.”

“Boys. That’s enough.”

Fao shrugged but fell silent. They headed inside and got checked in, Sheila sat between the two boys.

Harrison was seen to first, thanks to Fao knocking him out. She didn’t trust Fao not to run off, so made him sit outside the bay as Harrison was seen to. They had a bit more to check with Harrison too, the younger boy having just turned up on their doorstep.

Fao hated being stuck in the ED. Especially when he wasn’t really all that injured, and he didn’t really have Sheila for comfort. She was preoccupied keeping Harrison on the straight and narrow. It did make Fao wonder what the point of the both of them coming in was. Of course, he was stuck waiting, the A&E corridors cold and unwelcoming.

With Harrison reasonably settled in a bed in majors, Sheila headed to the corridor to find Fao. She sat heavily beside him, turning to look at the bruises on his face.

He looked over at her. “He okay?”

“Settled. How are you?”

“Fine.”

“Yeah, you look fine.”

He shrugged. “I’ve had worse. Don’t really need to be here.”

“I still want you checked over.”

“I’m fine.”

“Better than he is.”

“My fault.”

“I don’t know what happened between the two of you. That’s for you to sort out when you’re both better.”

“I fucked up.”

“I doubt it was all your fault.”

“Might as well be.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Is in Fred’s opinion.”

“Did he say that?” She asked, nudging him.

“Pretty much. Said it was my fault we had to come in.”

“Well, you did knock Harrison out.”

“So it’s all my fault.”

“Did you need to knock him out?”

“Obviously not. I didn’t mean to knock him out.”

“What were you meaning to do then?’

“I don’t know, okay?!” He snapped. “He showed up, I didn’t know who the fuck he was, he got aggy, I didn’t want someone coming in the . house when I had no idea who they are and they were acting out. He looked like he was going to force his way inside, so I swung. He’d already swung at me, so… I reacted. I didn’t want anyone getting hurt.”

Sheila was calm. "Why didn’t you get one of us?”

“I don’t know. Because he was asking for you like he owned the place. And he was drunk, it put me on edge.”

“All the more reason to get one of us. Or just walk away, shut the door and all that.”

“I thought I could handle things. Y’know, look out for everyone.”

“That’s what we’re there for.”

“It’s different. I don’t know.”

“We’re the adults. The adult adults. We’re here to look after you.”

“I jus’ wanted to look after things.”

“I appreciate that, but it hasn’t worked out too well this time.”

“I know.”

“You can’t just get away with it.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“There has to be some punishment.”

He shrugged. “I don’t expect otherwise.”

“I know, but I don’t want it to be like it used to. The problem is that we have to have some repercussions for our actions, you know?”

“I understand that. I was never under any illusion that there wouldn’t be? I fucked up.”

“I just don’t want you to think we’re out to get you.” She said softly, leaning against him. “You were brave standing up for us, but it was just directed at the wrong person. With some stubbornness in there too, I bet.”

He shrugged. “I guess.”

“I don’t know what went on, but he’s not a bad guy, you know?” She continued. “He’s been through a lot, not unlike you.”

“He started the fight.”

“Did he?”

“He shoved me.”

“Doesn’t surprise me.”

“So forgive me for being somewhat on the defensive.”

“I don’t blame you for that.”

“But you’re still mad at me. Why can’t I just go back to my flat?”

“Because I don’t want you to go back and just cut us off.” She said, frustrated. “You go back to your flat and you get off scot free from us and you beat yourself up.”

“You keep talking about consequences. Whatever they are, I can take them, but I’d rather you stop pussyfooting around them and just tell me straight. I’m assuming you’re not going to beat the ever loving shit out of me, so I kind of need to know where I stand.”

“Of course we’re not going to hit you.“ She took a steadying breath. "Right now, I need to focus on Hars and getting him out of hospital. We can talk about the consequences when you’re back home.”

No. 4 - TRUST FALL

@whumptober2021

@whumptober-archive

“Do you trust me?” | taken hostage | pushed

Finn had decided to ride out with Fao, much to both his parents and guards’ upset. He didn’t understand why there was such an issue - the kingdom faced a threat and he should have been there to face it. Just because he was the prince, it didn’t mean that his life was any more important.

They’d travelled a day or so on horseback before the terrain became too unsteady and the weather too poor to carry on. They’d done the best they could to find shelter, and then to make a fire.

Fao was much more willing to start one than he’d normally be, which only increased Finn’s suspicions that he’d directed them further away from where he’d intended to go. His lack of reluctance, however, was not unwelcome; the cold had seeped into Finn’s bones and he couldn’t shake it.

Fao crouched on the cold floor, trying to breathe some life into a little fire. He struggled a little, everything soaked, and swore under his breath as he did.

“Finn? Can you see to the horses? Make sure they’ve got water.”

“There’s plenty around them.” Finn groaned. “We’re almost drowning in it.”

“They can’t drink the rain.”

“What do you think I’m going to get them?”

“You know what I mean. They can’t drink from the fucking sky, can they?”

“They should be able to.” Finn huffed, standing to sort them. “Would make it easier.”

“Can you drink from the sky?”

“Yes.”

Fao rolled his eyes. “Of course you’d say that.”

“Can’t you?”

“Well, yes, but that’s not the point.”

“It’s precisely my point.”

“Just water the horses!”

“You’re extremely grumpy today.”

“I’m always grumpy.”

“Moreso today.” He told him, settling down by the struggling fire. “Can’t you hurry? I’m freezing.”

Finn ignored the following complaint from Fao, choosing instead to sort his pack out. The food they’d caught earlier made his stomach turn and he hastily put it away. One night wouldn’t be the end of the world. Instead, he curled up by Fao, using the other man’s body for warmth.

Fao frowned, and softened as Finn pressed up to his side. He adjusted his cloak to sit over his shoulders and keep him a little warmer.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m just tired, I can’t get warm.” He admitted quietly.

“The fire will be warm soon. It just needed a little patience.” He said gently.

“I’m still cold.”

Fao shrugged off his cloak and fully draped it over Finn. “Here.”

Normally, Finn would have protested, but instead, he took it gratefully. “Thank you.”

“We can’t have you getting cold.”

“Why do you always sound like such a dick when you say things like that?”

“I was being genuine!”

“Still sounds like a dick.” He said. “I knew you weren’t. I’m just used to you taking the piss out of me.”

“I’m capable of being nice.”

“Sure you are.”

The fire was starting to grow now, finally taking hold. It warmed Fao, so hopefully would warm Finn too.

“It happens on occasion.”

He hummed. “I guess. Are you okay to take watch?”

“Yeah, go on. Get some rest.”

Finn shuffled closer. “Thank you.”

“Anything else you need?”

He shook his head, already drifting. He just needed some sleep, he’d feel better once he was warm and rested.

“Sleep well.” Fao murmured, shifting his weight a little to sit better - it was going to be a long night.

Finn slept fitfully, finally stirring just before dawn broke. Despite the fire still burning, he was cold. The pain in his head was crushing, and nausea curled in his stomach. He knew it wasn’t anything he’d eaten; he’d skipped the evening’s meal. Fao had moved from where Finn had curled on him, now sat opposite from Finn as he tended the fire. Finn struggled to his feet, he needed to relieve himself and lying down wasn’t doing him any good. He balanced himself against the trees surrounding him, heading away from their camp for privacy.

“Morning! You’re up early.” Fao called, carefully watching Finn as he headed out of the camp.

Finn grunted in response, too asleep to bother with an actual reply. After a few minutes, he headed back, stumbling towards Fao.

Fao didn’t miss the way the Prince stumbled. “Careful. Are you alright?”

“I don’t feel so good.” He admitted quietly.

“Sit. You’ve not eaten in too long, it’s probably that.”

His stomach twisted at the thought of food. “I’m not eating.”

“You ought to eat.”

Finn sat heavily, leaning against Fao. “No.”

“You need your strength. What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “I must just be tired.”

“You don’t look particularly well.”

“I don’t feel particularly well. I told you that.”

Fao sat up straighter. “Talk to me?”

“About what?”

“How you feel. Dizzy?”

He shook his head. “Off balance.”

“Is that not the same thing?”

“Of course not.”

“Sick?”

“I haven’t been.”

“Feel it?”

He hesitated before nodding slightly. “Yes.”

Fao rubbed his arm, in a gesture he hoped was soothing. “I suppose that’s why you don’t want to eat.”

He leaned closer instinctively. “It is.”

“I’ve got you.”

“How far away are we from home?”

“Far enough.”

“We weren’t following the trail, were we?”

“No. We had to go off and out deeper.”

“You were just keeping me away from the fight. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you.”

“I have a duty to protect you, Finn.”

“And I have a duty to this kingdom!”

“And that duty requires you to stay alive.”

Finn groaned as he stood, swaying slightly. “My duty requires me to protect it!”

“If you go and get yourself killed, you’ll be no use to anyone. The best way to protect the kingdom is to keep yourself safe.” Fao said, standing up alongside Finn. “Careful. Sit back down, come on. You’ve gone pale.”

He pulled away. “No.”

“Finn, come on.” Fao said, reaching out for him. “You’re no good to anyone if you’re passed out.”

“Don’t touch me.” He snapped. “I’m getting Toren and going.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Finn.” Fao snapped.

He rolled his eyes. He didn’t need to follow Fao’s orders, he needed to be away from him.

“Finn!”

Finn made it halfway before he had to stop, bracing himself against a tree. He clasped??? his head with a quiet whimper, falling against the bark. He felt as if he’d been poisoned, and the only person around him had been Fao.

Fao rushed over to him, an arm on his shoulder. “Finn, come on. Let’s sit down again.”

He didn’t have much of a choice, his legs already given way beneath him. “Was your fault.”

Finn was heavy in his arms, and Fao groaned. “Careful, careful.” He said quietly. “I’ve got you.”

“You’ve poisoned me.”

“I’ve not, you’re alright.”

Finn shivered, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. “I’m not.”

Fao reached out for his pack, pulling it closer and digging around for the vials of liquid he kept. Finn often got like this, ever since an accident as a young child. “I’m gonna look after you. Take some deep breaths for me?”

“You’re doing it again.” He tried to pull away.

“I’ve always protected you in the past.” He said gently. “Do you trust me?”

It was harder to focus. “No.”

“It’s alright, Finn. I’m going to help you.”

“Please.”

“You need to drink this, Finn.” Fao said gently, fingers closing on the cool glass. “It’ll make you feel better.”

“It’s poison.” He reached a shaky hand to push it away.

“I promise it’s not.”

“You drink it.”

“It’s for you. Your medicine.”

“No.”

“From the physician. To help you feel better.”

“Swear?”

“Swear on my life.”

Finn took it from Fao, quickly downing the liquid. It was foul, as most of the cocktails were, but Fao had told him it would help. Despite his confusion and paranoia, he knew that Fao wouldn’t really hurt him. He’d always protected him.

“That’s it. It’ll make you feel better, hmm?”

“It better.” He murmured.

“It will. I’ve got you.” Fao said, an arm around the younger man. “I’m here to keep you safe. I’m always going to keep you safe.”

No. 3 - STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT…

@whumptober2021

@whumptober-archive

taunting | insults | “Who did this to you?”

part 1 // part 2

Harrison hadn’t slept well since he’d run from Fao. He’d stayed close to the pack’s territory, hoping they’d assume he’d have returned north, or tried somewhere else completely. It had been a few weeks without them getting too close to him, so it must have worked to some extent.

He did miss them, the few days with Fao reminding him of home and how well he’d fitted back in. When he did sleep, he dreamed of them, of running with the pack on the full moon, of Sunday lunches with the Daniels.

He gave a heavy sigh, semi dozing in the little bit of sun left. A strange scent piqued his attention, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. He took a careful breath, trying to pretend to still be asleep. It was definitely a different pack, and definitely danger. With his arm over his face, he couldn’t see them, so he listened carefully. There was more than one of them, maybe two or three, and they were getting closer. He couldn’t understand them though, their hushed tones too quiet and accents too strong.

He just had to stay quiet and they’d pass by. It wasn’t like he was a danger to their pack, he wasn’t there for any reason other than passing through. They shouldn’t bother him.

Harrison let out a quiet groan. Their footsteps had stopped in front of him. This wasn’t going to end well.

He slowly dropped his arm, sitting up against the wall and all too aware he was cornered.

“What do you want?” He growled at them, three like he’d thought.

“I wouldn’t speak to us like that.” The bigger of the three leaned in. “You’ve got no leg to stand on here, pup.”

“God complex much?” Harrison snorted, shaking his head. He didn’t have time for them. “I’m not staying here much longer, I’m not a problem.”

“You’re in our territory, thatisa problem.”

“Your territory? Yeah, right. You’re like twelve.”

“Get up.” They growled, reaching for him.

He snarled, aware he was in public and couldn’t shift. “Leave me alone.”

“Make this easy for yourself. Get up and come with us.”

“Like fuck.” He spat at them, pulling his sleeping bag over his head.

The kick to his stomach surprised him, letting out a yelp and a groan. The second wasn’t, but hurt all the same. He was hauled to his feet, the two wolves pinning his arms. As much as he tried to kick out, it was pointless. There was a sharp scratch in his arm and he turned to snap at him.

“Oh, shush. That’ll make you easier to deal with. Walk.”

Harrison continued to fight as he was dragged away, though it slowly began to drain from him. Steve had tested enough medications on him to know he’d been drugged, the all too familiar twist in his stomach. He’d still have a few more minutes before it fully kicked in, he knew that, so did his best to fight against them.

Despite his fight, he slowly slipped under. Every time he blinked, everything seemed to change, the ground disappearing from under his feet. He could hear himself groaning, trying to swear and cuss the others out, but it was just so distant and unimportant.

The alpha of the neighbouring pack panicked when they found Harrison, immediately worrying the other wolf was dead. He could smell his own pack’s involvement, and the worry only grew. It had taken years to get over their last dispute and they couldn’t have another one.

Harrison was loaded into the back of a pick-up, thankfully barely conscious. Each movement jarred his broken bones and made breathing even harder.

Blood pooled where it shouldn’t, too much on the floor and on his clothes. His right eye was swollen shut, his nose broken, and his face covered in dried blood. Fresh blood seeped through the cuts, mixing with the dirt and sweat, stinging his skin.

If he’d had the energy, he’d have screamed, but that had long since gone. He barely had enough for each breath, already breathing faster than he should be.

He knew it was punishment, for both hurting Finn and for running from Fao. He deserved it. Though his attackers never smelled like his pack, they could still have ordered someone else to do it for them. In the little sleep he’d had, they’d plague his nightmares. Over time, they were hurting him too.

He never fought back, even as they shouted and screamed at him, telling him how useless he was and he’d be better off dead. If they’d let him go, he would be dead. He supposed that would be too easy, too much a kindness.

None of that mattered anyway, his thoughts jarred back into the present by the truck turning off. He wouldn’t survive much longer. Even with the wolf’s faster healing, he couldn’t keep up. He almost wished he wouldn’t. He’d had enough.

He was dumped by the road through the woods, a few miles from the Daniels’. They wouldn’t say anything, hoping they’d either find him dead and be too upset at their loss to do anything, or the wolf would get hit by a car and make it look like an accident.

The drop from the tail only snapped his leg further, his femur pressing against the skin. The pain was immense and, thankfully, he passed out once more.

Ever since Harrison had given him the slip, Fao had been worried. He knew it was his fault, he should have kept a closer eye on the other wolf. Of course Harrison would try and lose him, it’s what he always did. And he’d not exactly been in the best shape, either. Better than he’d been when he found him, but still too thin and with the hint of illness and exhaustion clinging to his scent.

He wanted to stay and look for him in the city, but when he spoke to Sheila she told him to come home. They needed him, work needed him, and if Harrison really needed them, he’d find his way back to them. He always did. So Fao went home, started back up at work again, and tried to stop the gut twisting anxiety every time he thought about Harrison. At least work was busy enough to exhaust him.

A few days later, he was out running in the woods around their territory. It helped to clear his head, and truthfully he wondered if he might find Harrison.

So when he caught his scent, out on his run, at first he thought it was wishful thinking, the memory of a scent he was so desperate to find. But he stopped, took in another deep breath, and realised it was definitely him. Even human, his nose not as good, he could smell Harrison, and blood. So much blood. There was something else, too, another scent he couldn’t quite place.

He followed it quickly - desperately - to get to his friend. When he found him, it was worse than he could have imagined. He was beaten, broken, bloody and unconscious in the dirt. A quick glance told him whoever had left him here was long gone, and he crouched beside Harrison, hands skimming gently over him.

“Oh, Tomcat. Who did this to you?” He breathed.

No. 2 - TALKING IS OVERRATED

@whumptober2021

@whumptober-archive

garotte | choking | gagged

Recovery had been really slow. Painfully slow, really. So long in hospital, Fao had lost track of the endless days dragging by. But he’d gotten out, and gone home, and done the endless appointments and physio and therapy and meds and jumped through all of the hoops they’d given him. Eventually, in an effort to find some of his old freedoms back, he found himself a flat in London, not far from where he’d lived as a student. Not long after moving in he acquired a housemate, through a mutual friend. Fao and Ollie got on really well, they clicked almost immediately, and it was nice to have someone who didn’t pity him, hadn’t known him before. The dog came not long after that, a little scrap of a puppy they found at the side of the road. Arrow was a sweet little thing, though he kept Fao up all hours of the night needing to be bottle fed. He was worth it. It was a purpose again. It made it so much easier to deal with everything when he had a little life depending on him.

He’d even started entertaining the idea of getting a job, which was as terrifying as it was exciting. But before that, he had one final surgery to get through. It was expected, it had been on the cards from the start. He’d spoken at length with his consultant, and it was a necessary evil to get things where they should be. At least it was planned, routine. They could schedule everything, and plan ahead, and nothing was rushed or panicked.

When Fao showed up to the hospital that morning, though, he felt awful. He knew it was the nerves, but he’d slept terribly and he had an awful headache already. It wasn’t exactly off to a good start. Ollie had driven him in, which at least meant he had company, and as he nervously got settled in his bay, he didn’t feel so alone. It really did make a difference.

He hated this side of things. Recently, he hasn’t felt like much of a doctor at all, but being back in hospital just made it so much worse. It was so familiar, it was almost like being teased. He longed to be on the other side, rushing around doing this and that. He’d kill for an elective list, even. Just for something to do. He desperately missed it. He sat chatting to Ollie, which kept him entertained enough, asking about whatever he’d done at work over the last few days. Elective orthopaedics wasn’t that exciting, but it was far more exciting than overthinking everything.

He was so nervous he couldn’t settle, shifting his weight about and fidgeting in his chair. Twice Ollie told him off for crossing his legs. Do you want a dislocation on top of everything else?! He’d asked, exasperated.

He didn’t have to wait long, though. Given his history, he was first on the list, and after speaking to his consultant and his anaesthetist, they took him down to theatre.

They let Ollie down with him, on account of him knowing his way around theatres. It was nice, to have him with him. They’d not known each other long, but Ollie seemed to know just what he needed, just how to keep him calm.

He didn’t even feel the cannula go in, didn’t panic as the drugs went in. Ollie was there, he was safe, and as the world faded to black he was surprisingly calm.

From there, he was intubated and quickly taken into theatre. Ollie was left to wait, and to update Fao’s family. Thankfully, it wasn’t a particularly long surgery, though it took longer than the surgeon had initially estimated.

Eventually, Fao was transferred out into recovery. Ollie could stop pacing the cold theatre corridors, and rushed to be with him. He didn’t come around well, which was standard, apparently - Ollie had never been there before. But Fao had told him, as had Sheila. He held his hand and soothed him through the nausea and the shaking, and once he’d settled off back to sleep, he called Sheila to let her know things were done and he was okay.

Of course, as soon as Fao called her, Sheila headed in. She’d bargained with him before his surgery, eventually being allowed to visit after, instead of taking him in. She knew he needed his space, wanted his independence, but he was still her son. She was going to be there for him no matter what.

The staff recognised her from the countless previous admissions, letting her straight through. She met Ollie first, pulling the young man in for a hug (Whether he wanted one or not, really). It wasn’t a surprise that Fao had come round poorly, but it was a relief to know he’d had someone to be there with him. With Sheila there, Ollie disappeared to grab a coffee - god knows he needed it.

She sat by Fao’s bed, waiting for her son to wake up. He was fast asleep and she didn’t want to wake him. At least when he was asleep, he wouldn’t be in pain - she knew his options for pain relief were limited and the staff were often stingy.

He stirred after a while, pain pulling at his attention and dragging him from his sleep. He was warm and his limbs were heavy, but he shuffled in bed and blinked open his eyes.

“Mum?” He managed to get out, forcing his eyes to focus.

“Hey, sweetheart.” She smiled at him, taking his hand. “I’m here.”

“Mm. ‘m ‘kay.”

“I know. You did so well.”

“Ollie?” He asked, after a long pause.

“Sent him for a coffee.”

“Sleepy.”

“That’s alright. Why don’t you go back to sleep?”

He nodded, his eyes already closed. It wasn’t hard to drift back to sleep, despite the pain. He slept for a while, not stirring as they checked on him. He was aware of them transferring him back to the ward, the sound of the lift and the changing of the light as the bed moved.

He didn’t properly stir again until a bit later, when Ollie was back with Sheila. Somehow, he felt worse than before. More woozy, and the taste of blood in his mouth was stronger. His breath hitched and he did his best to move in bed a bit, trying to sit up more.

“Easy, Fao. Take a moment, let me help.” Sheila was by his side immediately, trying to help.

Sitting made the dizziness worse, his blood pressure sinking, and he just felt wrong. He whimpered, trying to clear his throat. It was sore anyway, and dry from the oxygen, but suddenly it was as though he couldn’t breathe. He coughed, and then he couldn’t stop coughing, and then blood coated his tongue. It caught in his throat, too close to before. He tried to spit it out, but everything hurt, and he reached blindly for Sheila, panicked.

“I’ve got you, it’s okay, it’s okay.” She promised, stroking through his hair. “Just breathe, you’re okay.”

He couldn’t breathe. That was the problem. The world was hazy and he was dizzy and he couldn’t breathe. He was too hot then too cold and it was just like it had been after the crash. He coughed and then retched, managing to bring some blood up, but it wasn’t enough. He was still stuck, choking.

Ollie shared a look with Sheila, worried. This was bad.

“You’re okay, Fao.” She continued, trying to keep her son calm as Ollie called for help. She pulled Fao onto his side, an attempt to help him clear his throat.

He whimpered as she pulled him over, between the coughing and gagging. Everything hurt, and the room span with the change in position, making him feel even worse.

Ollie was in the corridor at this point, barking orders at people. It wasn’t often he was snappy, he rarely even shouted, but there was some sense of urgency needed.

There wasn’t much Sheila could actually do, trying to soothe her son. There was so much blood, far too much, and she knew it wasn’t good. She tried her best to get Fao’s attention, to try and ta;l him through it. He was obviously stuck in a flashback too, which only made things worse.

Soon enough, the bay was a hive of activity. The nurses called in the ward doctors who were desperately trying to get in touch with Fao’s surgeon. But he was in the middle of a list, and when his registrar finally arrived on the ward, he paled somewhat. They then had to find a consultant who was free, and an available theatre (and team) to find out what the fuck was going on, and fix it.

Things were quickly sorted, breathing got somewhat easier for Fao, just briefly, though the taste of blood was still overwhelming, between the retching. He was very quickly transferred back to theatres, and unlike before there was no taking their time. In a busy theatre he was out in seconds, no soothing words and gentle touches. There was just the ice cold burn of the drugs, and then nothingness.

That left Ollie with Sheila in an uncomfortably empty bedspace. She was covered in her son’s blood, and he awkwardly cleared his throat. “Uh, Sheila, maybe you should, uh, change?”

She couldn’t help the jump, lost in her thoughts. “I’ve not got anything to change into.”

“Fao’s got stuff.” He said gently. “He packed way too much.”

“Uh, yeah. Of course. I’ll change.” She stood, going through Fao’s bag and pulling out a hoodie and top. “I won’t be long.”

Ollie nodded. “Go on, I’ll wait here.”

“Not like we’ve got anywhere to be.” She said as she left, mainly to herself. She didn’t take long, dumping her clothes in a patient bag and heading back to Fao’s room to wait.

“True. He’ll be okay. Finn around?”

“He’s working. Said he’d be up when he could. I text him to tell him there were complications, that he had to go back to theater, but he hasn’t seen that yet.”

“Oh, Fao did tell me he was on placement. Poor sod.”

“I swear they try and one-up each other on everything.”

“So I’ve heard. He’ll be okay.”

“Fao didn’t have a clue where he was.”

“All those drugs make it hard at the best of times.” Ollie said. “We can just hope he doesn’t really remember it.”

“Fingers crossed.” She said quietly.

There was a knock at the door, Finn appearing around the corner. He frowned at the pair in front of him, the lack of his brother, and the fact his mum was in one of Fao’s hoodies.He gripped the doorframe to steady himself.

“What happened? Where is he?”

Ollie moved forwards. “Finn. It went well, but once he’d woken up a bit, there were… Complications. A bleed. He’s back in theatre now.”

He shook his head, looking at Sheila. “You said he was fine.”

“He was, he was out, he’d come round well enough for him, but…” She shrugged. “Like Ollie said, he had another bleed.”

“I was with him when he came round, he was alright. But something must have happened, a bleeding vessel or a bad suture or something. I can find out later, if they don’t say. He’ll be okay, they’ll sort it. These things happen.”

“These things don’t just happen.” Finn snapped, jerking away from Sheila’s arm.

“Finn, that’s enough. We’re all stressed, it doesn’t mean you get to be a dick. Sit down and wait.”

He glared at her before he turned to Ollie. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s alright. You’re right, Finn, it doesn’t ‘just happen’. It shouldn’t have happened. But it’s a surgical complication, surgical complications happen. He’s with a good team, all we have to do now is wait.”

He flopped into the chair by his mum. “He had a good team before.”

“I know. It’s shit, isn’t it? Scared the shit out of me to see him like he was. He’ll be alright though. He’s been through worse.”

No. 1 - ALL TRUSSED UP AND STILL NOWHERE TO GO

@whumptober2021

@whumptober-archive

“You have to let go” | barbed wire | bound

Harrison and Fao had finally started to get along, much to the pack’s relief. It gave Sheila and Fred a (well deserved) break, and Finn a distraction.

They’d spend afternoons after school in the Sanctuary, dicking around until Sheila called them in for tea or bed.

Fao loved being able to hare around the sanctuary after college. Once he’d burned off his excess energy, he always focused better. He found his homework easier, and he slept better too. Finn was quickly becoming like a little brother to him, and Harrison was a friend. He didn’t get on with many people at college, it was nice to have someone.

Him and Harrison often got caught up playfighting, Finn left to his own devices somewhat. The older boys were bigger and stronger, he couldn’t always play with them. They didn’t even notice him slip away deeper into the sanctuary, whilst Fao and Harrison scrapped.

It really wasn’t fair anymore. Harrison always used to play with Finn and now he had Fao, often leaving Finn alone. With nothing to do and nobody to play with, Finn set off to explore.

They’d been doing some work round the back of the sanctuary, repairing where someone had tried to break in and ruin it all. It wasn’t all bad news, though, as they’d ended up receiving a grant from the local council, and the extra publicity had led to an increase in funding too.

He knew he’d be told off for playing around there, but assumed that exploring would be fine. He was only sniffing around anyway.

Despite his bravado, he was still skittery, especially when he was by himself. He was spooked by a bird flying at him, seemingly from nowhere, and he jumped back, tripping over his paws.

He didn’t feel the pain at first, but as he tried to stand, it burned through his leg and down his side. It surprised him and he yelped, overwhelmed with the pain for a moment. Finn tried again, trying to stand. It was agony.

He turned to nose at his side, met with barbed wire and blood. His leg was the same, and every movement tightened the wire around his leg. He yelped again, his cries growing more desperate as he struggled.

Fao and Hars must have been too far away, or maybe they’d even left. He continued to struggle, desperately trying to get free. His muzzle was covered in blood, mainly from his leg and side, but also from his attempts at pulling the wire off. He howled again, as loud as he could. It was filled with pain and fear, terrified he’d be left alone to die.

Fao and Hars hadn’t heard him at first, his yelps far too quiet over their own playful growls and the soft breeze that carried through the woods. They carried on scrapping, leaping about chasing eachother, until Finn’s howl pierced the air.

Fao stopped dead, digging his claws into the dirt. He called back to Finn, trying to let him know they were coming, before he rushed off in the direction of the howl, nose to the ground to find where he’d been.

Finn was too busy howling to hear Fao, panic overtaking him. He continued to struggle, screaming in pain as he got more and more tangled.

Finn’s pained screams terrified Fao. What the hell had he gone and done to himself? As he got closer, Finn’s scent was overwhelmed by the scent of blood. Lots of blood. Not long after that he saw him, caught in a pile of scrap, what looked to be barbed wire. He rushed over, pressing his nose to Finn’s head.

At the sight of Fao, his screams got more desperate, trying to reach him. He leaned into the older wolf, paws scrabbling on the floor to get closer.

Fao rushed over, trying to stop Finn from struggling too much. The more he wriggled, the more Fao could see the wire pulling at him, ripping through fur and flesh and causing the bleeding to get worse. He pressed up close to him, trying to soothe him. It was going to be okay, they’d make sure he was.

Finn couldn’t move with the weight of Fao on top of him. He was too stressed for Fao to help, though his cries slowly dwindled into whimpers, his whole body shaking.

Fao whined softly, trying to reassure him. He twisted to look for Harrison. They needed help, and now. This wasn’t good.

Harrison wasn’t as fast on his paws as Fao, but had been stood there long enough to see what had happened. He jutted his nose towards the camera, a warning to Fao. They couldn’t shift, even if he went to get help. They couldn’t blow their cover.

He’d run back and get help, Finn needed Fao more than him, and the other wolf would probably be better at calming him down.

He bolted off, paws pounding against the ground. He just had to hope someone would be free.

Of course they were next to a camera. If Fao wanted to shift, he’d have to leave Finn. And he couldn’t leave Finn without someone else there with him. He whined again, trying to stop Finn from moving so much.

Finn kept struggling, pressing his nose to Fao and then turning to bite at his leg. Why wasn’t Fao helping?

Fao huffed, and gently licked Finn. He sent him an image of the camera, and then tried to send him one to soothe him too. The more he moved, the more it was going to hurt.

It hadn’t occurred to Finn about shifting, but the more he thought about it, the better it seemed. The camera didn’t matter, they could sort that out after, he was sure. He whimpered, pawing at Fao with his free paw and trying to beg him for help.

Fao shook his head, nosing gently at him. He just had to stay still, it would be okay. They’d get him out. Harrison would come back and Fao could move away to shift and they’d get him out of the mess.

Harrison had grabbed as many people as he could, out of breath and only barely covering himself with a towel. The pack sprung into action, Steve and Sheila heading to Finn while the rest shut the cameras down and went ahead to prepare the clinic. It didn’t sound good.

Waiting for the pack was like torture. Every minute that dragged by felt like an hour, watching Finn bleed onto the dirt. He was clearly terrified - Fao could feel how scared he was. He was in a lot of pain, too. He wished he could do something to help, but it was just a matter of waiting.

Steve ran ahead, his medical kit slung over his back. He arrived at the boys’ side breathing heavily as he knelt down. Finn was covered in blood, but nothing was pouring out. He’d need to get him back to the clinic before doing anything, but he could already see Finn would need stitches.

“Hey, you’re okay. You’re okay, Finn. You’re doing so good.” He started murmuring, quickly drawing up a sedative - it would be easier to assess without the risk of him shifting or pulling away.

Fao whined, gently nudging Steve’s side. Could he shift and help without getting caught?

Steve shook his head slightly, pushing Fao’s muzzle away for show. “Not yet.” He whispered. “They’re still on.”

He sighed, and went back to fussing over Finn. If he couldn’t shift, he could at least keep Finn as calm as possible. It was hard to tell, but it looked like Steve was about to sedate. That would help, but it would probably scare Finn more for a bit.

“Thank you.” He returned to fussing over Finn, gently and quickly getting a cannula in. “You’re okay, Finn. Just relax, okay?”

Fao whined, desperate to do more. But he couldn’t, not unless he shifted. He nosed at Finn again, all he could do.

Finn snarled at them, trying to pull his paw away. Steve was quick to respond, a low growl in warning as he gave the meds. They wouldn’t take long to work, but Finn needed to stay calm.

Fao stretched out to lay next to Finn trying to send over a calming thought, forcing himself to relax to relax the younger boy. He sent images of the two of them asleep together, the way they slept during the moons.

Despite the panic and pain, Finn slowly began to relax. He nudged Fao, trying to fight the sedation. Steve stroked Finn’s shoulder, quietly shushing the young wolf. It would be okay.

The sedation finally took hold, leaving Finn more out of it than not. He didn’t fight as Steve began cutting him free, choosing instead to press closer to Fao. His wounds were deep, and they’d have to fully sedate him to sort them, but they needed to move him. He’d be okay.

Fao stayed with him, careful to avoid the wire as Steve cut Finn free. Once they got him free he could shift and help Steve at the clinic, but for now he was still useless. It felt like an eternity to wait.

Sheila finally arrived, nodding to Fao. “Your bag is just by the tree. Go shift.”

As soon as Sheila spoke, Fao darted away to grab his back and shift. He hurriedly pulled on his jeans, rushing back over as he pulled a t-shirt on. His hands were covered in blood, but he had to get back to Finn. He had to help.

“I’m here.” He breathed.

He was quick to help Steve with Finn, trying to stop the bleeding the best he could. There was no time to think, to wait about for instructions. They only had a limited time until the sedation wore off, they needed to get him moved and into the clinic as quick as possible.

Steve got done as much as he could before taking a step back. He couldn’t do any more without the clinic. He kept murmuring to Finn in hushed tones as he picked the wolf up, hopping on the back of the ?truck?. He invited Fao up with him, the other boy very obviously calming Finn down.

It wasn’t a far drive back to the clinic, but it felt like an eternity for Sheila. She spent the drive glancing over her shoulder, checking on Steve and Finn. Her youngest had started to fight through the sedation, whimpering and whining as he struggled. Without the clinic though, Steve couldn’t give any more. He quietly shushed Finn, running his fingers through the small bit of fur that wasn’t covered in blood.

Fao sat with Finn and Steve, doing his best to soothe the younger wolf, keeping a careful eye on his breathing. It wasn’t long to the clinic, and he helped to get him out of the car and straight through into their theatre. Finn would need proper intervention to fix this. It wasn’t ideal, but it was the best thing for everyone.

Finn batted a paw at Fao as everyone rushed around him. He made a quiet whine in protest, but the anaesthesia was strong in his system. He couldn’t have done it without Fao, had to tell him that he loved him. He huffed at him, his head too heavy to lift.

Fao leaned over to kiss his nose. “You’re okay. We’ve got you. Just go to sleep, it’s alright.”

For once, he did as he was told, slipping under. With Fao close, he didn’t panic either, letting the anaesthesia take over.

He stroked over his ears. “I love you. We’ve got you.”

BTHB - Headache/Migraine

This one was requested by @someoneonearth2007,thank you!

The words swam on the computer screen in front of Fao. He couldn’t focus, he’d been struggling to write these notes for what felt like forever. It didn’t help he was sat at a busy ward front desk, but he had nowhere else to sit and his office was too far away.

With a heavy sigh, he rubbed his face, leaning back on his chair. It creaked in protest, and Fao didn’t quite trust it. Groaning, he sat back forwards and tried to focus again on what he was writing. His headache had been lingering all afternoon, but now it was just getting worse and worse. He pulled his hair out of its bun and let it hang loose around his shoulders whilst he tried to finish these notes, praying it was just his bun causing the headache. It didn’t make a difference, but he didn’t have the energy to put it back up yet.

The phone beside him rang, shrill and loud, for probably the third time in five minutes. It seemed to echo in his head, flaring the headache and making the pain somehow worse. He realised he couldn’t keep ignoring it anymore, and wearily reached across the desk to answer it. It was, of course, not something he could help with, and that meant getting up to find someone whocould help. His headache flared as he stood up, helpfully, and he ignored the brief flash of dizziness that came with it.

Once he’d found the person who could help, Fao sat back down and continued trying to type up his notes. But now he had someone standing next to him, loudly chatting away about god knows what, and he still couldn’t focus.

His notes were littered with typos that he couldn’t focus on long enough to fix, but he knew he needed to sort them. At least the nurse talking next to him was gone, but it wouldn’t be long before the phone rang again, he was sure.

The headache was now causing his jaw pain to flare, or was the jaw pain making the headache worse? He didn’t know. Either way, it fucking hurt. The painkillers he’d taken didn’t seem to have made any difference at all, and he rested his head on the desk in front of him with a groan. The bright hospital lights were just making everything worse. He needed darkness, he needed to close his eyes just for five minutes.

No. 31 - HURT & COMFORT

@whumptober2021

@whumptober-archive

disaster zone | trauma | prisoner

Finn rushed down the stairs without a care in the world, his feet faster than his brain. From where he was stood at the top of the stairs, Fao tried to call out, but he couldn’t. It was as if his voice didn’t work.

His strangled cry for his brother to be careful was too late, as he tripped and fell. He landed in a broken heap at the bottom, his little body looking so lifeless, so wrong. And then there was the blood. So much blood, too much blood. For a moment Fao couldn’t move, and then suddenly he was crouched beside his brother.

He wasn’t breathing, his chest not moving at all. No pulse when Fao checked either. Just… nothing.

“Finn? Finn, don’t do this to me. Please, Finn.” He begged, as he struggled to start compressions. But someone pulled him away, dragged him off and told him it was a lost cause. He fought against them, screaming and crying out.

“Finn!” He screamed, the dream jolting into reality.

He’d screamed himself awake every night that week, but Finn had refused to leave his bed. He gently squeezed Fao’s hand, wrapping his other arm across his chest.

“It’s just a dream.”

Fao whimpered, curling into his brother. “Finn.”

“I’m right here. You’re okay.” He paused. “I’mokay.”

He exhaled shakily. “You’re ‘kay.”

Finn slowly moved their hands to his chest. “See? I’m okay. It’s just a dream.”

“You were…”

It wasn’t hard to guess what he’d been dreaming about. It plagued Finn’s nights more often than not. “I was. I’m fine now.”

Fao almost expected his hands to be covered in blood as Finn held them against his chest. But they weren’t, and he could feel the rise and fall of Finn’s chest as well as the rumble of his voice as he spoke. “‘M sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

“I am, though.” Fao mumbled, burying his face against his brother. “Love you.”

“You saved my life. No reason to be sorry.” Finn told him. “You know I love you too.”

“It’s always…” Fao’s voice cracked, and he paused for a moment. “You’re always gone.”

“I’m not. I’m here. I’m fine.” He promised. “We’re okay.”

“Can’t lose you.”

“You won’t. We’re brothers.” He pushed himself up to look at Fao, barely visible in the darkness. “Nothing will take that away from us.”

No. 30 - DIGGING YOUR GRAVE

@whumptober2021

@whumptober-archive

major character death | left for dead | ghosts

Blood. There was blood everywhere. Fao had never seen so much in his whole life. It covered his gloved hands, soaked into his combats, blurring the desert khaki.

The smell of it haunted him, filled his nose and choked him. The coppery, metallic scent. It had never bothered him, but it did now. He looked up at her, and the blood was matted into her blonde hair, staining the precious gold a dark crimson.

He fought to save her, speaking in soothing Gaelic to the woman he loved as he barked orders to the men and women around him.

She stirred, green eyes flickering open.

“F-Fao… A-am I gonna b-be okay?”

It broke his heart, to see her scared. Alex was never scared.

“Yeah sweetie, you’re gonna be just fine. You’re gonna go home and we’re gonna buy that big house you always wanted and I’m gonna marry you. Promise. I’ll let you pick the ring yourself.“

There was nothing he could do, as her eyes shut and her heartbeat stuttered and faded to asystole. He cried out, then, starting CPR even though he knew she was a lost cause.

“Let her go, Fao.” Someone called, though Fao didn’t know who. He couldn’t let go, couldn’t watch her fade away.

“No! I can’t!” He cried. He didn’t even know how long it had been. He kept up with the CPR, struggling. His shoulders ached and his hair was in his face- he needed a haircut. He wiped his bloody hands on his trousers and tried again. He kept going, though Alex’s lips were parted and chapped and there was a trickle of crimson over the dry chapped skin.

He felt strong arms on his shoulders, pulling him away from her. He fought it, but they dragged him away. He fought and he cried and he clawed at them, but still they dragged him away.

They let him into his tent, and left him crying on his camp bed, covered in his girlfriend’s blood. He staggered to the showers, stripped off his combats and stood under the lukewarm water, trying to scrub the blood off. He was crying, sobbing as he tried to get it all off. It clung to him, the smell still choking him. He gagged and then was sick, doubled over under the water. When he was done, he shut off the water, changed into something to sleep in and curled up on his camp bed. His commanding officer came in after a while, and told him that he was on leave effective immediately. They’d send him home as soon as they could, so he could make arrangements for her funeral.

He said he’d deliver the news to Alex’s parents himself. It had to be him, in person.

He couldn’t sleep, after that. Whichever way he laid just felt wrong, so in the end he gave up. He dressed, padded outside, and sat staring up at the stars with a cigarette.

He knew he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there for, long enough that the cold seeped into his bones. He’d forgotten how cold the desert got at night.

Eventually he found his phone, and managed to get his fingers to cooperate enough to call Sheila.

He held his breath as the phone rang, waiting for her to pick up. He knew it was late for them too, she’d likely be asleep. But he needed his mum. He needed her now more than ever.

Sheila answered, half asleep but panicking as she saw it was Fao. "Hello?”

“Mumaí…”

She sat up immediately, something in his tone sending dread through her. “What’s happened, sweetheart? I’m here.”

He was quiet for a minute, trying to find the words to tell her. She was just as much Sheila’s daughter as she was Fao’s other half. He sniffed, taking a deep breath.

“It’s ‘Lex.”

She let out a quiet gasp. “Fao.”

“She’s…”

He didn’t have to say it. She could already tell. “I’m so sorry, Fao.”

His voice cracked. “She’s gone.”

“Oh, sweetheart.”

He couldn’t help but start to cry again, sobs wracking his body. “She’s gone, Mumaí. Gone.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She was stuck, and gently shook Fred awake. “I’m right here.”

“‘m comin’ home.” He said softly. “Soon.”

“Of course, you’ve got to. We’ll be here, you can stay with us.”

Fred squinted at her. “What’s wrong?”

“Alex.”

“Need to… Need to tell her parents.” He managed to get out.

“Do you want to call them now?”

“No. Gonna… Gonna go see them. ‘ave to tell them in person.”

“Of course.”

He took a shaky breath, trying to pull himself together. “I miss her already.”

Sheila curled into Fred. “I know.”

“I don’t know how to…”

“Just hold on. For us. For Alex. She’d want you to.”

“Be home soon.” He said, and paused. “Zeus!” Alex’s dog would be so confused.

“He’ll have you. You’ll be okay. You both will.”

He stayed on the phone with her for a long time, mostly just sat sniffling in silence. But it was nice to know she was there, to hear her soothing him every so often.

Soon they sorted getting him back to England, and the plane journey home was agony. Even more so, knowing Alex’s body was in the hold beneath him.

He spent the whole trip curled up in his seat, trying to read but instead just staring blankly at his book. Once they landed, he dragged himself through the airport and into the coach that would take him home. To the flat he’d shared with Alex. Her stuff was everywhere, strewn across the bedroom haphazardly, as they’d packed to go away.

Unbidden, he started to cry.

He sat on the edge of the bed and sobbed. After a while, he couldn’t cry anymore, and he got up, sniffling as he tidied all of Alex’s things. Once he was done, he had a shower, smoked a cigarette and went to bed. He didn’t want to move, but he owed it to Rob, and to Helen.

It was painful to tell them, but it needed to be done. He felt better for saying it, too. Glad knowing it had been him to break the news to them, not some faceless officer they didn’t know. And they comforted him too. Helen hugged him and told him he’d always be a part of their family.

Back at home, he stripped off his dress uniform, pulled on some pyjamas and crawled into bed. He didn’t move for a week, save to go to the bathroom and to eat. Not that he ate much. Plain slices of bread, mostly. He smoked in bed, too, even though he knew he shouldn’t. Without her, there was no meaning to his life. It was an echo of those days after Finn’s accident, the complete loss of everything. The numbness, the apathy. It was like nothing in the world existed.

Sheila had tried to call in on him every day, but she was pushed away. Fred, too, was ignored, and Finn had been in no fit state to leave the house. Fred eventually convinced Sheila to give their eldest some space, but only after Fao had promised that he wouldn’t do anything stupid. They trusted him, and knew he had to grieve, one way or another. There was no right or wrong way, and Sheila wasn’t going to force him.

After a painful week, Fao heard a key in his door, then the creak of the hinges as it opened.

“Fao?” Came a voice, calling out into the dark flat. It was Tom, he thought. He rolled onto his front, not in the mood to talk to them. He heard his bedroom door open, but he still didn’t move. That was when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, and he finally rolled over onto his back.

“Fuck off.”

“Fao.” That wasn’t Tom. It was Jake. He blinked open his eyes, and they were all there. Connor, Matt, Jake and Tom. The whole squad, except for Alex.

“We thought you’d need a hand. Sheila said she’d not heard from you in too long. We’re here, and we want to plan the funeral. With you.” Connor said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Yeah, so go and have a shower, and we’ll make you tea, then we’re going to sort this. All of us.” Matt told him, pulling the duvet back.

Fao didn’t have a choice. He dragged himself out of bed and into the shower, hissing as the hot water ran over the raised red scabs covering his forearms and thighs. He felt mildly better after he’d showered, and all of them headed to meet. Alex’s parents, Sheila too (Fred was at home, and whilst Sheila didn’t tell him why, Fao knew it was because of Finn), Alex’s brother, the rest of the squad.

They planned the funeral, piece by painful piece, and before Fao knew it, the day loomed.

The day before, he’d had his hair cut, and that morning he showered and shaved before pulling on his dress uniform, determined to make sure everything was perfect. The five of them in the squad, and Alex’s brother - an officer in the Air Force, carried the coffin into the church. They’d elected to keep it quite small, with only a few friends and close family. The coffin felt infinitely heavy. He couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down his cheeks as he strode down the aisle of the little church, silently crying. He could hear the rest of his squad and Mark too, sniffing to themselves as they set the coffin down, saluted and then turned away, taking their seats. Fao sat with the family, surrounded by people he knew so well.

He surprised himself by getting through the eulogy he’d written, his voice only cracking and faltering on him once. He was glad he managed, glad he was able to give his girlfriend the send off she deserved.

He went back to Fred and Sheila’s afterwards, Fred bundling him in the car and saying something about it being too late to drive back to Birmingham. Zeus was already staying with them for now, an extra couple of days wouldn’t make any difference at all. They knew he needed his space, they had to at least try and trust him. The current state of Finn’s physical and mental health wouldn’t make things any easier, but they could have one night.

He sat on the back step of the house and smoked, lost track of how many he’d had. He needed the isolation, the distance from the rest of the family. It was well and truly dark, but as he sat out back he saw a fox trot through the garden, looking skinny but unafraid. It made him smile, despite everything, and he thought perhaps there was a piece of Alex still looking out for him. Looking out for all of them.

No. 28 - IT’S NOT JUST IN YOUR HEAD

@whumptober2021

@whumptober-archive

“Good. You’re finally awake.” | nightmares | panic

Returning home after his injury was odd. Easter things were still strewn around the house, Easter eggs still waiting to be eaten, but he had no memory of any of it. Everyone treated him like he was going to break, and half the time, he believed them. His whole world had turned upside down in a matter of moments, and he no longer knew where he stood.

Though they tried to keep it as normal as possible, it couldn’t have felt further from it. They’d all become used to being in hospital with Finn, used to all the busy of the ward and rehab. There were no longer strict mealtimes, observations every few hours, or the nurses popping in for a chat. The only normal thing was his bedtime.

After a day being home, Finn was all too glad to go to bed. He changed into his pyjamas and brushed his teeth before clambering into bed. Fao, of course, read him a bedtime story, staying until Finn fell asleep.

When Finn woke again, it was dark. He stretched out slowly, finding Lion under the covers and pulling him closer. He tried falling back asleep by himself, but he just couldn’t drift off. Things felt wrong and he couldn’t settle. It was easy to make up his mind, grabbing his blanket and lion before padding into Fao’s room.

“Fao?” He whispered into the darkness. “Fao?”

Fao stirred, lifting his head in the darkness of the room before he reached out to flick the light on. “Finn? You okay?”

He squinted at the light, scrubbing at his eyes as he made his way to Fao’s bed. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh, come snug then.” Fao said, moving over and pulling the duvet back.

Finn clambered into bed, wriggling to find the right spot. He tucked himself against Fao’s chest and sighed happily. “Night.”

“Night, Finn. Sweet dreams.”

His dreams were the opposite, nightmares mixed with reality and twisted into something worse. He woke with a panicked cry, trying to push himself away from the nurses holding him down again. When they didn’t immediately let go, he screamed.

Finn woke Fao long before he woke up. His brother wriggled in his sleep, digging his elbow into Fao’s ribs. He kicked out, getting Fao in the shin as well. Despite his attempts to wake him up, Finn was truly fast asleep until he startled awake and tried to push Fao away. He wasn’t exactly strong, and so when Fao didn’t move, he screamed.

“Hey, hey. Finn. It’s me, it’s Fao. You’re safe.”

Between the panic and (word?), Finn couldn’t hear him. He kept fighting, struggling with the duvet and the hands forcing him into the bed. His hands curled into fists as he tried desperately to get away.

Fao sat up. “Finn? It’s me, it’s Fao.” He said slowly.

Finn had finally escaped from the duvet and he backed up against the wall. His chest heaved as he tried to figure out where he was. It was too quiet for the hospital, but he could hear Fao in the dark. His nails dug into his legs as he tried to catch his breath.

“You’re alright.” Fao soothed. “You’re safe, you’re at home.”

The light flicked on. “Boys? What’s wrong?”

Fao looked up, the big lights making him squint. “Nightmare, I think.”

Finn dived for Fao, burying into his brother’s side. He gripped onto him tightly, fingers digging into his skin.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

“Do you need anything?” She asked quietly.

“Maybe some water?” Fao asked softly.

She nodded and quietly slipped away. Finn had chosen Fao for comfort, she might as well help how she could.

Finn struggled to catch his breath, pressing closer to Fao. Tears streamed down his face and he whimpered softly.

“I’m here, you’re okay. Take a deep breath, yeah? Copy me.”

“Tryin’.” He managed between sobs.

“You’re doing really well.” Fao encouraged gently. “Well done.”

He shook his head, he couldn’t do it. He wasn’t doing well at all.

“It’s okay. You’re safe now, just me and you.”

He pressed closer, curling further into Fao’s side. Fao was a comfort, he always had been. He was always there for him, had always protected him and stood up for what he needed, especially when he couldn’t do so himself.

“I’ve got you. Mum’s gone to get some water, you’re doing so well. Focus on trying to slow those breaths a bit. Well done.”

Slowly, he began to calm his breathing, focusing on Fao and copying him. Sheila returned with a glass of water for each of them and silently placed it on the bedside table beside them. She shot Fao a look, but didn’t dare to disturb them. As she left, she flicked the lights off, quietly pulling the door to.

Fao flashed his mum a smile, grateful for the water and the quiet. “Well done Finn, that’s it. Shall we have some water, hmm? Gotta be thirsty from all that crying.”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Just stay here then, hmm?”

“Yeah.”

“Want to try and sleep?”

“Not tired.”

“Shall we at least get comfy?”

He nodded. “Okay.”

“No point not being comfy. Have you got Lion?”

“He’s here somewhere.”

“Shall we find him?”

“‘Kay.”

Fao moved to push the duvet back, looking for the stuffed animal. He was easy enough to find, thankfully, and Fao handed him to his brother. “Here.”

“Thank you.” Finn said quietly.

“It’s okay. You cuddle up to Lion, yeah?”

“And you.”

“And me.”

“Tell me a story?”

“What sort of story?”

“A good one.”

“A good one, eh?”

He nodded. “Please.”

“Alright. A good story…” Fao moved under the duvet a little, getting comfortable before he started to talk. He kept his voice low, in order to try and get Finn to feel sleepy again.

No. 26 COMFORT (Alt. 8)

@whumptober2021

@whumptober-archive

It was flu season, and despite vaccinations and precautions, Harrison had managed to catch it. Work was bad enough with pressures, but after a few days struggling through, he had to give in and rest. Fao’s place was the natural decision, and it allowed his boyfriend to look after him too.

Fao was only too happy to look after Harrison. He’d helped him out when he’d been ill not long ago, and he was just glad that his boyfriend had admitted he needed time to rest. He welcomed him inside, shepherding him into the warm.

“Hey, tomcat.”

Harrison pouted. “Bed?”

“Yeah, bed. I’m gonna make soup.”

He gave his boyfriend a grateful smile. “Thanks.”

“And hot chocolate, if you want it. Go on up, I’ll be up in a minute. Arrow’s waiting to keep you company.”

“Thank you.” He called back downstairs, voice rough.

“Anything for you, Tomcat.” Fao replied, heading into the kitchen whilst his boyfriend got settled. He started the soup off, leaving it to simmer away for a few hours, and then made a hot chocolate to bring up. It always made him feel better, and it was the least he could do.

Harrison had made himself at home under the duvet, wrapped tightly around him and Arrow. He was wrapped around the dog, trying to keep warm.

Fao pushed the door open with his foot. “Hars? I’ve got you hot chocolate.” He said softly as he slipped inside. “If you can escape your duvet cocoon.”

“A straw and then I don’t need to move.”

“You’ll get too hot if you stay under there.”

“Don’t start that bullshit. I’m freezing.”

“When did you last have meds?”

“An hour ago?”

“Will have to wait a bit then.” Fao murmured, and put the mug down on the bedside table before he moved to lay with Harrison.

“You’ll get sick too.” He protested weakly as he curled into Fao.

“I’ll be alright.”

“I don’t want you to be ill.”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.”

Harrison made a quiet noise in protest, but Fao was warm and he was too comfortable to move.

“Just let me look after you, eh?”

“Why do you think I’m here?”

“True.”

“I feel absolutely shite.”

Fao ran a hand through Harrison’s hair. “I know. You feel really warm.”

“I like that.” He murmured. “Don’t stop.”

“Yeah?”

He hummed happily. “Yeah.”

“I won’t stop, then.”

“Good.”

“You’re cute when you’re ill.”

“I’m not cute. I feel like I’m dying.”

“Nah, you’re cute. Because you’re all snuggly.”

“I’m ”snuggly“ because you’re warm.”

“You’re cute.”

“I’m not.”

Fao moved to press a kiss to the top of Harrison’s head. “Mm, you keep telling yourself that.”

He sniffed, and then let out a low groan. “I will.”

“Your hot chocolate is on the side.”

“I’ll have a drink and then I’m gonna nap.”

“Napping is good. Just didn’t want it to get cold.”

“Then it would be cold chocolate.”

“Not the same, eh?”

“No.” He shook his head. “Marshmallows?”

“Yeah, put some little ones in there.”

That swung it and he slowly pushed himself upright. He groaned at the change of position, nausea rising. He took a few moments to breathe before reaching for the mug.

“Thanks, Fao.”

“Anything for you.”

“Sap.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Harrison drank the chocolate, savouring the marshmallows. Fao had always made the best hot chocolate, even when they used the same packet. He settled down to sleep after that, curled on Fao and as content as he could be.

Fao stroked through Harrison’s hair as he drifted off to sleep, glad his boyfriend was resting. God knows he needed it. If he was honest, he drifted off after a while too, warm and comfy with nothing better to do.

When Harrison woke, he felt infinitely worse. His hair was plastered to his forehead, but he was freezing cold. His body ached and burned, and the pain in his head was crushing. He pressed closer to Fao.

Fao stirred, aware Harrison was burning hot against him. “Hey, Tomcat. You alright?”

He shook his head, already in tears. “No.”

“Hey, hey. Don’t cry.” Fao said gently. “It’s alright, I know you feel rotten.”

“I’m dying.” He wasn’t exaggerating.

“I know it feels like that.” Again, Fao ran his hand through Harrison’s hair, unbothered by how sweaty it was. “I’ve got you. You’re gonna be alright.”

Harrison shook his head, making his way further on top of Fao. “Don’t leave me.”

“I’m right here, I’ve got you.”

“Stay.”

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’m here.”

He nodded. That was good enough. He was too tired to argue any more, and slowly lost the fight keeping himself awake. He pressed closer to Fao again, fast asleep.