#dianakko

Happy Birthday @tanuki-pyon

As you requested ‘Just draw them holding hands or sth’

“What the hell is this?!” Weiss screamed, her cheeks burning as she found herself in Queen Dragon’s latest concept, drawn just before a break. “Aren’t these Lumen suits supposed to be armour?!”

Even to those that didn’t have a lick of military nor combat experience, it certainly looked farfrom it.

Most of her body was left completely exposed, the chest plate modeled like a corset conforming to her petite, lithe figure; the mechanical exo-skeleton over her waist and her thighs resembled the straps of a garterbelt and stockings; the heels of her leg armour were raised four inches off the ground and the plating stopped a few inches up her knees, with the armour on her arms was just as skimpy. And as if it wasn’t revealing enough, instead of the usual full body jumpsuit underneath it all, Weiss was drawn wearing a light blue, legless leotard, the only signs it was supposed to be an official uniform being the logo of the Lumania Defense Force, and her future designation:

“Lucky 03”

“I’mprettysure that’s a non-combat model meant for ‘raising morale,’ am I right, Jaune?” Mercury said teasingly, before he elbowed Jaune beside him.

Jaune didn’t react, instead continuing to sit with his eyes squeezed shut, body instinctively braced for serious physical injury.

“Ireallygotta agree with Mercury, Weiss, that thing isn’t armour, it just has…” Ruby muttered, looking at her with extremelymixed emotions. “… Somany glaring design flaws.

“Not to mention its aesthetics!” Coco added, throwing her hand-out. “Ugh, no sense of subtlety, grace, or coyness anywhere…” she muttered, shaking her head.

“And no doubt that Queen Dragon and Hentai-sama are likely collaborating on this.” Glynda finished with a nod.

“Yeah, that totally looks like something he’d draw, or she knows he’d like to see…” Velvet said, ears drooping as she blushed and covered most of her face with her hands, peering through her fingers.

Cinder sighed heavily. “Stars above, I wish those two never became friends…”

“Well, that certainly does explain a lot, thank you, now could you all PLEASE STOP STARING!?” Weiss screeched, trying to cover herself up.

“Oh,come on, Weiss, it’s not like your primary role isn’t fanservice for your audience!” Mercury teased.

“FUCK YOU, MERCURY!” Weiss screeched. “If could take a single step off this page, I would slap youso fucking hard your prosthetic legs will be standing without you!”

Mercury laughed. “Yeah, realthreatening when I’ll just be back to normal the second after, as if nothing ever happened.”

Cinder groaned. “Enough messing around, Black! And that’s an order!”

“Seriously, Major?” Mercury asked, disappointed. “We’re off duty at the moment, aren’t we?”

“We’realsoin the presence of civilians, and I had hopedyou’d at least try to reign in some of your worse impulses,” Cinder snapped back. “We have a reputation to maintain, you know!”

As Cinder continued to rip into Mercury, and Mercury to defend himself, Weiss continued to try and cover herself up, shaking with anger and embarrassment as it was clear no angle and nothing she could would make the outfit any less revealing, clearly trying her damnedest not to cry.

Ruby noticed and frowned, looked around and noticed that Neo was on her phone, ignoring her everything around her. She reached over and poked her on the shoulder, Neo looked up at her curiously.

“BORROW CAN?” Ruby signed, using one hand to point at her mundane umbrella hanging off one of her chair’s arms, then at Weiss.

Neo looked at Weiss, her eyebrows rising and her lips curling into an amused smirk, before she turned back to Ruby, and gave it to her.

“THANK YOU,” Ruby signed with a smile, before she turned to Weiss, and cried, “Hey Weiss! Catch!”

Weiss caught the umbrella, looked confused for a moment, before realization hit and she opened it in front of her; it wasn’t nearly large enough to cover all of her, but it did hide a great deal from the main cast members, and for now, that was enough for her to relax.

“Wow,intentionallyinviting bad luck andcompromising your artist’s vision?” Mercury said in mock shock. “I’m surprised, Weiss! Never thought little miss Class Rep had it in her.”

“For the last time, enough,Black!” Cinder yelled, smoke and embers pouring out of her mouth now. “Or do you wantme to demonstrate how Umbra powers can be used for disciplining misbehaving soldiers…?”

That got Mercury flinching. “Now, now, Major!” he said, suddenly sitting up straight in his chair. “No need for a mini-martial, I’ll behave now.”

“Good,” Cinder said, the smoke and embers quickly fading to nothing.

“I have to say I’m disappointedin your lack of control over your own soldiers, Maj. Fall, especially since you’re supposed to be leading a quick reaction force,” Glynda said. “Then again, I can’t say I’m entirely surprised.”

“And what isthatsupposed to mean?” Cinder huffed, the smoke returning with a vengeance.

“Only that you’re young, inexperienced, and clearlyhave a long way to go before you have begin to have a firm hold on your own unit.” Glynda replied.

Cinder scowled, before she shook her head, and relaxed. “Tch, criticism of my leadership from a civilian… that’s rich.”

“And you say that like you need a military background to detect poor management,” Glynda said quietly.

Cinder’s gripped the arms of her chair, the veins of her hands popping visibly under her skin, the embers and smoke starting to grow into little tongues of flame. Jaune again braced himself for imminent suffering, everyone else looked uneasy as the air suddenly grew heavy and heated, Cinder’s soldiers especially.

Then, Cinder relaxed her grip and calmly turned away from Glynda, the atmosphere lightened up immediately, and everyone else did also. The incident was soon forgotten or shuffled to the back of their minds as Queen Dragon came back from her break and resumed drawing, and quickly started getting serious about her designs.

It was soon obvious that Weiss was her model of choice for designing the new Lumen suits she was making for the crossover; for dozens of styles in the overall form, variations within individual components, and even the most minute of details like the exact shape and configurations of the external and internal indicator lights, Weiss was the one drawn, rather than any other character, a generic, faceless dummy, or free-floating components as earlier.

She drew her standing at rest, at attention, in a variety of “cool” stances for the inevitable group pose for the cover. She drew her preparing to fight, in the middle of close-combat attacks, or firing all manner of configurations of shapes meant to stand-in for weapons. She drew her running, jumping, or even flying about the field via a “Garuda” flight unit, or the much smaller, short-lived thrusters that all of the suits had.

Variations began to narrow down to but a handful of prototypes, quality began to improve dramatically, Weiss began to transform herself, Hentai-sama’s cartoonish and simplistic style being overtaken by Queen Dragon’s much more realistic and detailed designs. By the very end of it, Weiss was a far cry from the hastily sketched, skimpy and fetishistic outfit she had been drawn with hours before.

Now, she stood almost completely covered in plate metal, heavy, bulky, and doubtless capable of taking punishment that would have killed a regular LDF footsoldier several times over. She wielded a fusion between a lance and an energy rifle in one hand, and held her helmet in the crook of her other arm; her iconic ponytail was tied into a tight bun, her posture perfectly straight; and her gaze calm and serious as she looked out to an undrawn battlefield, the opposing army already charging in from the horizon.

“Like a princess about to go to war…” Coco said, smiling and impressed.

And just like that, a bell sounded, the publishing assistants all cheered or heaved sighs of relief, and the studio lights on Weiss began to shut-off—Queen Dragon was calling it for the day.

“Is it all over?” Weiss asked, looking confused as she came out of her pose.

“Yep!” Mercury said, hopping off his chair and stretching his arms, working the servos of his legs. “Don’t worry, I’m sure the Chief will go right back to playing Pretty Princess Dress-Up: War Edition with you by next week.”

“Dismissed, Firebrand! All convene again on Monday as per usual,” Cinder said, as she got up and calmly strode to the exit.

The rest of the cast members started to do the same, until Weiss cried, “Hey!You all forgetting something here?!”

They all turned to look, saw Weiss was still in her Lumen suit, scowling as assistants took away her weapons and helmet.

Mercury smirked. “Can’t even get out of your own Lumen suit, can you, Weiss?” he asked.

“I suppose my never having gone through the requisite training has a great deal to do with it,” Weiss growled. “Now how do I get out?!”

“It’s thought-controlled, Schnee,” Cinder replied as she resumed walking. “Simply think of the suit coming off of you, and it will.”

“Thank you,” Weiss said, before she closed her eyes, and started taking deep breaths.

Everyone but Jaune left the studio, he stopped by the door looking in concern as Weiss still seemed stuck inside her suit. “You having trouble, Weiss?” Jaune asked.

“Some, but nothing I can’t handle!” Weiss replied, eyes still closed. “Just go, Jaune, I don’t want to waste your time.”

“Are you sure?” Jaune asked again. “Because I’m not really doing anything right now…”

Weiss gritted her teeth. “I’m sure, Jaune, now if you can please leave so I can concentrate, this is apparently harder than it sounds.”

“Maybe I can–” Jaune started.

“Go,Jaune.” Weiss said, glaring icily at him.

Jaune winced, before he awkwardly shuffled out with the last of the publisher’s assistants. The lights shut off, Weiss sighed internally, before she closed her eyes and resumed trying to get out of her suit. A minute later, she was still wearing it, the frustration now clear on her face, her gloved hands clenching tightly.

There was a knocking on the door, Ruby poked her head in and asked, “Hey Weiss?”

“What is it?!” Weiss snapped.

Ruby was unfazed as she replied, “I was wondering if you wanted to go check up on Diana with me, seeing as we missed the emergency meeting earlier and all.”

“… Oh.” Weiss said, calming down. “Has she texted again?”

“Nope, not a peep out of her since,” Ruby replied.  

“Then I’ll have to decline, and encourage you not to do so in the first place,” Weiss said. “She’s likely having some personal time, and you know how she likes it long and uninterrupted.”

Ruby nodded. “Fair point.” After a brief pause, she said, “So, do you need any help getting out of your suit?”

Weiss sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Yes please… I don’t want to be stuck in this thing till I show up for the new chapter on Monday.”

Ruby chuckled as she approached. “Nobody does, these suits are meant for battle, after all.”

“Is that why don’t have any conveniently located ‘Off’ switches?” Weiss asked sarcastically.

“Yep!” Ruby replied, nodding her head. “Umbra are always smarter than we’d like them to be, so if we put anything like a switch, or even a voice command to take off the suits, I’ve no doubt that Anoke would make it so that they could find some way to press it, or mimic the exact voices of the wearers, force them out of the suit and kill them while they’re completely unprotected.”

“That’s…incrediblydisturbing.” Weiss said slowly.

“There’s a good reason we have the content warning in front of every chapter,” Ruby said gravely, before she lightened up and said, “So, what have you been thinking about, exactly?”

“Pardon me?” Weiss asked.

“Sorry, ‘What things have you been thinking of to try and get the suit off of you?’ is what I should have asked,” Ruby replied.

“I’m still confused, Ruby,” Weiss replied.

Ruby blinked, before she snorted and facepalmed. “Oh, right, you don’t have any training! Sorry, back in our series, no one even got to touch the suits without the proper training, let alone be in one… anyway, we users tend to use mental association and physical cues to help get our suits off. Mine is imagining me shrugging off a jacket or a cloak, while moving my shoulders like this,” she said, demonstrating it.

“Wow, what a clever, convenient, and helpful piece of information I could have seriouslydone with earlier!” Weiss said, scowling.

“Sorry again,” Ruby said. “Want to try it?”

“I suppose there’s no harm…” Weiss muttered, before she closed her eyes and mimicked Ruby.

After a few moments, it definitely wasn’t working. “Am I doing something wrong here?” Weiss asked, frowning.

“Maybe you should try something that’s more comforting and relaxing instead,” Ruby replied.”Like, ah, imagine yourself going to sleep all curled up in your bed; slowly sinking into a nice, hot bath; maybe even vegging out on the couch while you settle in with a nice book or your favourite TV shows.

“Lots of users tend to do just that after getting back to base, making for very strong mental association.”

“Yes, that might work much better,” Weiss said, before she closed her eyes and tried again.

A minute later, still no change.

“Is it still not working?” Ruby asked.

“No…” Weiss muttered. “I can’t stop thinking about the fact that Hentai-sama was probably drawing me like that for an ecchi scene…”

“Hrm, you’re right…” Ruby said, frowning. She furrowed her brow, looking deep in thought, until her eyes brightened up and she snapped her fingers. “I’ve got it!”

“What’s the plan?” Weiss asked.

Ruby circled around behind Weiss, held out her arms, and cried, “Trust fall!”

“Trust fall?” Weiss asked, confused.

“Yeah, trust fall!” Ruby replied. “Just let yourself completely relax, and imagine falling right into my arms.”

“Won’t this likely result in me falling right out of this suit in reality?” Weiss said, looking behind her and at Ruby.

“Which is why I’m standing here like this, duh!” Ruby said.

“And you’re sure you can catch me instead of breaking my fall?” Weiss asked.

“Of course!” Ruby replied. “Just because we have superpowered suits doesn’t mean we get to skimp on basic training and physical conditioning on the reg. Believe me, I can catch and carry you, easy!”

Weiss still looked doubtful, but still, she turned around, closed her eyes, and let herself completely relax. Almost immediately, air started hissing out of previously hidden seams, the back of Weiss’ armour folded out, the actuators inside the exoskeleton gently pushed her out. She fell, tensing up as she felt the air rushing past her for a brief moment, was still tense as strong, firm arms wrapped around her, and gently, carefully lowered back down to her feet.

“You can open your eyes now, Weiss,” Ruby said as she let go of her.

Weiss did, looking at her empty suit closing again, before she turned around to face Ruby, smiling. “Wow… it actually worked! Thank you, Ruby.”

“Told ya,” Ruby said, smiling back.

There was brief moment of silence, the two of them just looking at each other, Weiss quickly growing uneasy. “Is… something wrong, Ruby?” she asked.

“Just taking in how different you look, Weiss,” Ruby said.

“Is it a ‘good’ different or ‘bad’ sort of different…?” Weiss asked.

“Good,verygood,” Ruby said quietly. “You look so beautiful, Weiss…”

Weiss blushed, her lip quivering, her body starting to tremble. There was a part of her that told her to get ready for the script to compel her to yell at Ruby for complimenting her, maybe even slap her before she turned away and sulked, calling her a “baka”under her breath…

… But there was no script, no author forcing her to do something, no one making decisions for her but herself.

And what shedecided, was that–

Bang! Bang!

“Yo, anyone in here?!” a female voice called out. “Ruby?”

One of the doors to the studio burst open, the bright lights of the hallway outside poured in, blinding Ruby and Weiss. They instinctively flinched and cried out, Ruby shielding her eyes with her arm, Weiss turning away from the light and hiding her face.

“Oh,shit!I am sosorry,totallydidn’t mean to interrupt whatever was going on here!”

Ruby lowered her arm, squinted as she tried to make out the new arrival. “Yang? Is that you?”

“Yep!” Yang replied, waving quickly. “Just going to be waiting outside now, feel free to just come out whenever, or just text! Okay, buh-bye!”she said, before she closed the door again, plunging them back into darkness.

Ruby frowned in confusion, before she shrugged, and turned back to Weiss. “You okay, Weiss…?” she asked.

“I’m fine…” Weiss said through gritted teeth, her face still turned away from the door.

“You sure…?” Ruby asked, stepping towards her. “Because you don’t–”

“I’m.Fine.”Weiss repeated icily, her hands balling into fists.

Ruby nodded slowly, before she pointed to the doors. “I’ll just be going now… see you, Weiss.”

“Bye…”Weiss said tersely.

Ruby stepped out of of the studio, very carefully pulling open the door to keep the light from hitting Weiss again. After some brief, muffled conversation between her and Yang filtering in from the other side, they went down the hallway and were gone.

Weiss pulled out her phone, turned on the camera, and checked herself out. Already Queen Dragon’s design was fading away, her face rapidly losing much of the fine detail and semi-realistic qualities, turning back into Hentai-sama’s simplistic, cartoony style, her hair magically loosening from its bun.

A massive, glowing red vein popped up on her head, before Weiss screamed.

Note: This story has morphed into existential angst/horror and lesbians. Be warned.

SLAM!

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” Cinder yelled, her chair screeching across the floor as she shot up.

Akko winced, as did some of the other protagonists in the meeting room. At the head of the table, Papuru-chan was unfazed, still smiling as she always did. “Now, now, Cinder-kun, you’re supposed to be an elite soldier, aren’t you? You’re not supposed to get this emotional over orders!”

“I can when the orders are a joke!” Cinder shouted back. “This is a joke, right?! Just another pitch for an advertisement, or another damned 4-koma?! Because you can’t seriously be saying that I’m going to have to spend an entire month, doing double-shifts with him!”she cried, thrusting her finger at Jaune.

Jaune flinched, before he shrank into his seat even more than he already had.

“It’s official,” Papuru-chan said calmly. “We have the new contracts they signed specifically for the anniversary, actually, would you like to see them…?”

Cinder’s eyes widened. “She agreedto do this?!”

“Hai-hai…!”Papuru-chan beamed. “Don’t worry though, Queen Dragon-sama is being compensated generously for her extra time and effort, and Publisher-tono believes that this event will help bring in evenmore readers from all the buzz we’ve been getting!”

Cinder gritted her teeth, a tendril of black smoke leaking out from her mouth. “So this all about the money…”

“It’salwaysabout the money,” Amanda said as she lounged on her seat, her boots resting on the table. “Geeze, I know you’ve only been pro-published for a few months, but did you seriouslynever realize this before now?”

Cinder heaved a heavy sigh, before she pulled her chair back, sat down with her arms crossed and an aura like the heat radiating from a giant, smouldering wreck. How the other protagonists sitting right next to her managed to keep their cool, Akko didn’t know.

“Okay!” Papuru-chan said as she picked up her projector remote again. “Now that that’s been resolved, here’s the rest of the pair-ups for our first anniversary’s Grand Crossover Extravaganza…!”

The rest of the meeting went on without incident, reactions to the other odd or questionable duos far less violent than that of Cinder’s, before Papuru-chan went into more general matters like reviews, sales numbers, and the other upcoming events outside of their control such as conventions.

“… And that’s it!” Papuru-chan said, clapping her hands and turning the lights back on. “You’re all dismissed, everyone!”

The protagonists all stood up, bowed and said the usual formalities,  before shuffling out the conference room, heading down the stairs or the elevators leading back to their respective series’ domains.

“You.Jaune.”

… Except for Jaune, who found himself freezing as Cinder put a hand on his shoulder.

Akko watched uneasily as he slowly, verycarefully turned around, just barely maintaining the look of calm on his face. “Y-Yes, Maj. Fall…?” he asked.

“You and I are going to have a longtalk about this crossover business… privately.”

Jaune gulped, and mechanically nodded his head. “S-Sure, anything you say, Major,” he muttered, before Cinder quickly marched him off into a smaller meeting room a little ways away.

Akko watched them go, the internal conflict clear on her face.

Amanda shook her head as she stepped up beside her. “Don’t. Seriously, just don’t,”she said quietly and firmly. “There’s nothing good that ever comes out of interfering her when she’s in a mood like this.”

Click.

The door shut behind Jaune and Cinder in the meeting room, a dark miasma like black smoke and fading embers began to emanate from beneath the door.

Akko instinctively stepped away from it and into Amanda, she calmly put her hands on her arms. “See?” Amanda said. “Just turn around, and walk away,” she said, coaxing Akko in the other direction.

“But it doesn’t feel right to leave to just leave him like this!” Akko cried, resisting. “Shouldn’t we be helping him? Protagonist to protagonist?”

“’Look out for yourself before others,’ it’s the way of the Horizon as much as it is everywhere else,” Amanda replied, shaking her head as she let go Akko. “Besides, he’s a Romantic Comedy Harem Protagonist—he’s madefor surviving anything a woman can throw at him. If they aren’t throwing him, anyway,” she added with a chuckle.

Akko sighed heavily. “I guess you’re right…”

“Because I am,9 times out of 10,” Amanda said, grinning, before she patted Akko on the side, and headed to the elevator. “Welp, see you, Akko, gotta go back to the studio to celebrate the rest of that ‘Welcome Back’ party with the Niva’li, go do the fun stuff Boss-lady can’tshow on-panel anymore,” she said, chuckling.

“Wait, Amanda!” Akko cried, stepping towards her.

“Yeah?” Amanda asked, looking over her shoulder as she pressed the call button.

“Do you want to go get our casts together and discuss the crossover sometime?” Akko said.

“What for?” Amanda asked, confused.

“Well, you know, some of them might have problems with it like Cinder did, and maybe we could help them work through it?” Akko replied.

“And…?” Amanda asked.

“… That was it.” Akko replied.

Amanda sighed, and shook her head. “Look, Akko: whether or not any of us likethis latest cash-grab gimmick isn’t important, whatever the creators want us to do, we’ll do it; that’s the reason they gave us life, and that’s the only reason we’ll keep on having it.”

Ding.The elevator arrived.

“It was like that back when we were still a webcomic, it’ll be like that for as long as Boss-lady feels like we’re worth her time and talent,” Amanda said as she stepped in. “And honestly, I don’t know why anyonewould be against anythingthat helps keep them drawing you for another day.

“Last chance to come with, by the way!” she said as she held the doors open. “I promised those blue-skinned bikini babes I’d be back within 10 minutes of that meeting ending, and you bet your ass they’re counting the seconds.”

Akko sighed, and said, “I’m good, you enjoy your party.”

“Thanks, feel free to come by if you change your mind,” Amanda said, grinning as the doors closed.

Akko stood there for a few moments, before she sighed and turned away, quietly debated what to do next.

Click.

She jumped as the black miasma from earlier spilled out from the now open door, filling the hallway like a fog machine from hell. Cinder strode out in the middle of it all, an ominously cool, calm expression on her face, Akko stepped back even further and well out of Cinder’s way as she headed down the stairs.

Moments later, Jaune’s trembling hand came out from the blackness, his knuckles growing white as he gripped the frame and tried to pull himself out on shaky, unsteady legs. Akko immediately rushed over to help him, slung his arm over her shoulders as she carried him out of there, to a row of chairs beyond the unnerving mist.

“Thanks…” Jaune mumbled as she lowered him on one of the seats.

“Iie,”Akko asked as she sat behind him. “Mind if I ask what happened back there?”

“Graphic stuff waybeyond our 15+ rating…” Jaune said as he pulled himself up to a more comfortable position, the strength slowly returning to his limbs.

“Like…?”Akko asked.

“You sure want to ask…?” Jaune said. “It gets messed up.”

“I’ve been to some of Amanda’s arc-end parties, trust me, I knowmessed up.”

“Fair.” Jaune said. He sucked in a breath, and after a moment’s hesitation, he said, “Cinder said if my hands or any other part of me so much as grazes her butt, her boobs, or anywhere else important, accidental or not, she’s going to shoot my dick off with a laser.”

“Ah.”

“Is it–” Jaune stopped and hesitated, looked at Akko; when she nodded, he continued, “Is it weird to be worried about losing my dick if I never really ever get to use it, and probably never will?”

Akko thought about it. “Hrrmm, I can’t speak with 100% confidence as I don’t have a penis myself, but I have struckother actors and been struck in the crotch, and I’d say worrying about getting your penis shot off with a laser is legit, ‘cause it sounds like it’ll really, really, reallyhurt.”

“Huh, guess so,” Jaune muttered. “Guess I didn’t really consider that part.”

Akko nodded. “Hey, if you don’t mind, I’ve been meaning to ask: does it ever start hurting less over time, all the abuse you get?”

“No, no it really doesn’t,” Jaune said, shaking his head. “I guess that’s just one more thing that makes me ‘The Unluckiest Lucky Man in the World’…”

Akko reached out and patted him on the shoulder.

Jaune smiled. “Thanks.”

“Iie,anytime,” Akko said, smiling back.

Editor’s assistants soon came to fetch Jaune, talking about how he was due for a round of concept art, chiding him for not answering his company phone. “Oh, sorry!” he said, pulling it out of his pocket as he was ushered away, “I think I forgot to take it out of silent mode when I left the meeting!”

Realization hit Akko as she pulled out her own phone, opened it and noticed a text from Diana, sent several minutes ago:

“Emergency meeting. NOW.”

“OMW ASAP”Akko quickly replied, before she dashed to the stairs.

She was sweating and out of breath by the time she arrived at the meeting room. Diana the only other character there, her snake-half coiled so tightly around her it was like she was about to spring into an attack, her claws clutching the papers in her hands so tightly her nails had already ripped holes straight through each page.

“I’m here,” Akko said breathlessly, weakly rapping her knuckles on the door.

“Hello, Akko,” Diana said tersely, the paper crumpling even further in her grip. “Forgive me, if I don’t fetch the refreshments like I usually do, I am working through some rather volatile, intenseemotions right now.”

“No problem,” Akko wheezed as she walked over to the mini-fridge, pulled out a bottle of water, and settled herself on the couch. After a handful of swigs, she looked around, and asked, “Ruby and Weiss aren’t coming?”

“No, they and the rest of their cast members have been summoned by Queen Dragon for concept art,” Diana replied. “Ruby says she’s simply relishingthe opportunity to design more of those Lumen suits,  so I suppose that makes at least oneperson happy about this whole business…” she hissed.

Akko nodded sympathetically, before she pulled her handkerchief out of her pocket and wiped herself down. Eventually, the two of them both cooled down, Akko’s breathing returning to normal, Diana relaxing her grip on the papers and the rest of her body, her tail spilling out around her as she slumped in her seat.

Akko sighed as she took one last sip of her water, stuffed her handkerchief back into her pocket. “Okay, I’m good… I’m guessing you want to talk about this…?” she said as she screwed the cap back on.

“Yes,” Diana said, before listlessly holding up the crumpled, punctured memo. “I can guarantee you now, this ‘Crossover Extravaganza’ will NOT fare well for you…” she muttered.

“I know that.” Akko replied. “Director-sama isn’t exactly shy about taking his own advice on the importance of conflict!”

“It’s not Mr. Oreon I’m worried about, it’s the Mistress M.” Diana mumbled. “I…” she sighed and looked down “… had thought it would never to come to this, as we’ve only only ever really worked together for the sake of promotions, merchandise, and silly, lighthearted 4-panels. But now that our creators are collaborating and sharing our casts, I can all but guarantee you that the Mistress M has only the absolute worstin store for you, suffering on a level you hadn’t thought possible, in ways you could have never expected.”

She looked up, sorrow in her reptilian eyes as she said, “And I am certain I will be the means by which she delivers it to you.

“I wish for you to know, Akko, that I am deeply, terribly sorry for anything and everything that I will be scripted to do upon you and your fellow cast members, and that I will not blame nor hold against you or anyone else any drastic changes in your opinion of me, how you speak to me, and how you act around me, if you even choose to interact with me on a voluntary basis.”

Akko looked at her in confusion. “What are you even apologizing for, Diana? It’s not going to be your fault, it’s the scripts’!”

“And those scripts will be written in part or in whole by the Mistress M.” Diana said flatly.

Akko grew concerned, and asked, “Is it really going to be that bad…?”

“Worse, even,” Diana replied. “Her creativity can be just as cruel and gruesome as it is wondrous and beautiful. Be quite thankful that here, she has the regulating forces of her editor, the threat of losing her primary income, and age and censorship laws. But even still, things will never be the same between us after this event is over, I guarantee it.”

“Why do you sound so sure of everything…?” Akko said, frowning.

“Because it’s happened before, and nothing is giving me any indication that this time will be any different,” Diana said ruefully.

Akko stewed for a few moments in her seat, before she suddenly got up, and strode over to Diana with her “Determination Face” on.

“Akko, what are you doing…?” Diana asked.

“Take my hand, Diana!” Akko cried as she thrust it towards her.

Diana looked at her with curiosity and concern, before she slowly, carefully obeyed, wrapping her claws around the back of Akko’s hand.

“Let the land, the sea, and the stars bear witness!” Akko cried in her “theatrical” voice, before she knelt before Diana, hand on her chest, gazing into her eyes as she said, “I, Kagari Atsuko, do swear to you, Diana Cavendish, that our friendship will stay strong and survive the Papuru Fiction Grand Crossover Extravaganza! This I swear, on my honour as the Guardian of the Fallen Star!”

Diana blinked, her lips tugging into a small smile, before she shook her head. “You know that the Promessaonly works within your series…”

“I know,” Akko said, smiling as she went back to her normal voice. “But magically binding oaths or no, I’m still promising I am going to do everything I can, just for you~”

Diana’s cold-blooded, demonic nature rendered her incapable of things like blushing, but it was quite obvious that Akko’s actions had had an effect on her…

… Except to Akko herself, who calmly let go of Diana’s hand, and went back to her seat. “So, got anything more to get out of your chest?” she asked as she plopped down on the couch.

Diana’s features fell. She opened her mouth, then closed it, quietly suppressing the emotions stirring within her, before she said, “No, I’m sure that’s all I have, and any other grievances can be aired after yours. Do you have any?”

“Well, it’s not really a ‘grievance’ so much as a question that’s bugging me…” Akko murmured.

“Go ahead, Akko,” Diana said, sitting up and laying her hands on her lap. “I’m listening.”

“Do you think it’s weird to care about losing a body part off-panel, when it’ll just come back the next time we’re on the job?” Akko asked.

“It depends,” Diana replied. “Which body part is it? If it’s something as vital as your hand or an entire leg, it’ll surely affect your qualify of life.”

“But what if you never really ever get to use it, on-panel or off?” Akko asked. “Like, would it matter if someone shot your penis off, if you never have and probably never will use it for the bathroom or sex?”

Diana blinked. “… Pardon…?”

Note: Queen Dragon is half-Japanese/Half-American, raised in Japan. She is well aware that Queen Dragon-sama is grammatically incorrect and redundant, but it helps differentiate her from another popular mangaka who also has Dragon in her pen name, which is why interviews and Papuru-chan refers to Queen Dragon as such.

They know each other, but have no interactions nor relations, being from different publishing houses and catering to different audiences.

Summary:It was a weekly ritual of theirs, show up at the end of each Monday, complain about their existences, before sympathizing, then planning out how they were going to survive what next week would bring.

In short: it was a support group—as much as manga characters could be said to have one, at any rate.

They never thought it would ever do much harm, until it threatened to erase them from existence

Weiss was the last one to arrive, quietly walking in a whole ten minutes after everyone else had already settled into their seats. She wasn’t drawn in her school uniform, or any of her “casual” outfits, instead wearing a buttoned up white-shirt and a sarong around her waist, her hair slightly damp and her iconic ponytail tied up into a tight bun.

Diana sniffed the air and flicked her serpentine tongue out for good measure, smelled and tasted salt water, burnt charcoal, and coconuts. “Beach special?” she asked.

“Yes.” Weiss replied as she headed to the middle of their three-person couch, her usual spot. Ruby and Akko scooted over or pulled up their legs to make room, she thanked them before she sat down with her knees tightly pressed together, her hands clasped in her lap, her posture absolutely perfect and straight.

Akko and Ruby noticed and frowned, but said nothing.

Diana rose up from her beanbag, her snake-half uncoiling a bit beneath her. “Is everyone ready to start the meeting?” she asked.

“Yes,” everyone replied, with varying levels of enthusiasm.

“Then would anyone like to begin our session?” Diana asked, glancing at the others. “Weiss, perhaps?”

“No, no,” she said, shaking her head, slowing down as she noticed drops of sea water dripping down her hair. “You girls go first.”

“Are you certain?” Diana asked.

“Yes.” Weiss replied, carefully catching the water in her hands, before wiping them off on her sarong.

“Then would anyone else like to go first, or shall we just follow our established order?” Diana asked.

“I’m cool with that the usual,” Ruby said, then Akko said, “Yeah, that sounds fine.”

Diana nodded. “Then Ruby, please start us off,” she said, gesturing to her.

Ruby nodded back, then said, “I thought we were going to have a quiet rearlines chapter this week, or maybe some more political intrigue over at Command, but it turns out that Anoke wanted to introduce a new type of Umbra to the story. They’re called Stalkers, and their shtick is that they’re infiltration and ambush experts; apparently she thought the best way to illustrate that was to have one of them break into HQ—specifically, the R&D labs.”

Realization hit the others quickly, Akko winced. “Wow, that must have reallysucked.”

“Itreallydid,” Ruby said, frowning. “Anokewent full on horror mode with the scene, too.”

“What happened?” Weiss asked.

“Oh, the usual setup: I was working late at night, heard weird bumps in the vents and the corners, went to investigate it for a couple of panels before the Big Scary Thing came out at me in a full-page spread, and I spent the rest of the chapter running and fighting it off.” Ruby explained. She sighed. “Honestly, I’m sogladAnokewrote me as a weaponsengineer, and I had usable prototypes everywhere and ammo everywhere, but still, she made that thing way too reckless and durable for something that supposedly HAD to use stealth, or be killed almost immediately!

“It chased me through the entirety of the lab, managed to pin me down after I tripped on all the spent shells; it was even about to eat me, before someonefrom security finally thought to investigate why the cameras and audio feeds went down all of a sudden, and why they could stillhear the gunshots and the screaming from all the way up there!

“They killed it right on time to save me, but not nearly soon enough, if you ask me…” Ruby grumbled, before she heaved a heavy sigh. “Alright, rant’s over. Akko?”

“We had another big Teatrowith a rival troupe,” Akko started. “Same plot as always: brand new characters, this time from within Luna Nova—I think they were one of the more detailed background characters in an audience shot two chapters ago, you know Director-sama likes to do that. Anyway, we challenged them, they talked about how bad we’re going to lose because we suck so much, but alsogo through so much effort to cheat to ensure their win, then we somehow beat them anyway, and this time they chose to flip the table than eat their humble pie, and Finnelan expelled them.

“But this week it was just so–” she raised her trembling hands in front of her “–so stupid! I mean, I get it: there’s only so many serious, dark, realistic motivations you can give rivals before you have to start making most of them orphans from Teatri Finali, but this one was just, ‘Gasp! Somebody said something vaguely insulting about me and it wasn’t even directly to my face, so I blow up at them in public! I mean, we could talk things through like normalpeople and ask what they meant, but heck, let’s just skip all that and go straight to trying to mock-murder each other on stage so we can decide who’s telling the ‘truth!’

“I mean—COME ON!” Akko cried, throwing her hands up. “We’re supposed to be training to be the professionals that literallydecide how wars are won, and here we are getting this angry over a simple misunderstanding?! Director-sama is setting a reallybad example to our audience! I mean, real life actresses aren’t this petty and prone to overreacting, are they?

“I mean, are they…?” she asked, her voice cracking.

“I really don’t know, Akko,” Weiss said. “The Show Time arc had all of protagonists us as the actors, no industry professionals to speak of except for production and agents. Even then, I doubt it would have been a realistic portrayal, considering, you know.”

“The recording of our drama CD also went incredibly smoothly,” Diana added. “Whether that was an exception or not, I can’t tell as we only ever did produce the one so far, not to mention the third party involved for most of it.”

“Maybe if one of us gets an anime adaptation one of these days, we might be able to find out during the director’s commentary!” Ruby said.

Akko sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Maybe… okay, I’m done. Diana?”

“It’s a very similar problem as yours, actually,” Diana hummed. “I swear, no matter how much I despise the role I was written for, I would be so pleased if the Mistress M would extend any of that seemingly infinite creativity of hers into the ways she reminds the audience I’m the ‘Token Evil Teammate’ of the group,” she said, making air quotes.

“She’s already bluntly stated there’s limitless possibility in such a lawless, wild, and fantastic land as the Horizon!

“But no, it’s always: ‘Oh, guess who subtly poisoned or otherwise killed the morally ambiguous ally side character who was just shy of proudly advertising that they were going to betray us?’ or ‘Oh, guess who refuses to help the latest band of stranded refugees, or the poor, penniless villagers out in the middle of nowhere?’ or ‘Oh, guess who immediately suggests murder as the ultimate solution, since it’s what we end up doing nine times out of ten, anyhow?’

“And the answer is always, ‘Diana.’”

“It used to be shocking, fascinating, even, in the early stages of the series, but now it’s all just so boring and trite. If an omakeis to be believed, it seems there’s a ‘meme’ about it involving law enforcement just pinning the blame on me immediately, and no judge willing to contest the charges—and if she went out of her way to acknowledge it in publication like that, you can be certain she found it entertaining.

She sighed again. “I will likely never get a redemption arc, but I would at least prefer it if my role was to be come much less routine and utterly predictable. And with that, I am satisfied. Weiss?”

Weiss looked sheepishly at her lap, and started twiddling her fingers. “So, you all know what a beach special means in my genre, right…?”

“Sandcastle building? Beach volleyball? Barbecue at the boardwalk?” Ruby offered.

“Ooh, ooh: watermelon smashing! Swimming!Songs and stories around a bonfire at night where you stay up super late and sleep on the beach!” Akko cried.

“Skimpy, highly inappropriate outfits for characters explicitly of high school age; copious amounts of even more inappropriate behaviour such as willing or unwilling indecent exposure; outright sexual assault treated with the least amount of seriousness possible…?” Diana said.

“Correct, correct, and correct,” Weiss said, nodding at each of them in turn. “Look… I could handleJaune accidentally barging into the ladies dressing room as usual, among otherstupid antics of his. I could handlethe frankly insaneamounts of outdoors, mid-day activities Hentai-sama thought someone of my complexion and constitution could happilyoblige to for 12 or so hours, especiallywith most of our drinking water ending up spilled in the service of an ecchiscene. I could handlefaking being attracted to Jaune in swimming trunks, internally ‘gush’ about how ‘nice’ he looks with his hair wet, ‘admire’ his muscles shining with sweat, and just generally find single thing he does charming, no matter how asinine and/or immature.”

She clenched her fists tightly. “But I could not… I can’t… I’m…” she sniffed, tears welling in her eyes.

Ruby and Akko both reached out and patted her on the shoulder and back as Weiss began to sob, trembling with each violent, pained heave.

“I’mgay…”Weiss whispered, broken. “I’m so, so, so fucking gay, and I don’t know how much longer I can pretendto be even remotelyattracted to that stupid, bumbling, personality-devoid blonde blank-slate when I have not one, but twopretty girls in my vicinity at all times, plus Ms. Goodwitch and all the side-girls of the week!”

She sucked in a breath, looked up at Diana with red-streaked, teary eyes, her cheeks wet and glistening. “Did you know, I had to put sunscreen on Pyrrha’s back…? Do you know, how much detailHentai-samadrew her with? And do you know, how much willpower it took, for me to convincinglylook like I was pretending it was actually me in Velvet’s place, make it seem like I wanted to be with Jaune, keep from losing myself in the objectively superior choice, who was literallyright in the palms of my hands…?”

Weiss broke into another round of tears, Akko hugged her and cradled her face to her chest, while Ruby continued rubbing her back. Diana maneuvered her snake-half to their mini-fridge in the corner, pulled out a bottle of water, then flung it to Ruby’s waiting hand.

“I’m sorry…” Weiss whimpered some time later, her voice hoarse, her eyes stinging from the tears still flowing, her water spilling as her hand couldn’t stop trembling. “I’m so, sosorry,this is all I have, compared to all of your problems…”

“It wasn’t your fault you were created for a harem comedy, Weiss,” Diana said, giving Weiss a warm, sympathetic look—or as much as a half-snake demon could, at least.

Weiss continued to cry until she ran out of tears and drained most of her water, now clutching it so tightly in her hand the plastic was crumpling around her fingers. “I hate this…” she muttered.

“We do too…” Ruby said.

“I don’t know how I’m going to last much longer…” Weiss whispered. “It was only because I had the dubious honour of being Jaune’s roommate when it came time to assign the inevitably-fewer-cabins-than-we-thought that I lasted till morning… I wouldn’t have lasted five minutes if I was in that same, tiny, cramped room with Pyrrha, Velvet, and Ms. Goodwitch, in their nightwear… if they even wore any clothes to sleep!”she whimpered.

“Thankfuck it was just a one-chapter deal, I couldn’t have survived another in-story dayin that sunny, sandy hell… and now, I guess it’s time for all of us to figure how we’re going to survive next week.”

“Indeed,” Diana said as she pulled off the curtain for their whiteboard.

Akko killed the lights, Ruby found the remote for it and tossed it to Diana, Weiss tossed her crushed water bottle into the trash before they all prepared for this week’s news update.

“As you are all aware, Papuru Fiction is reaching its first anniversary in six weeks,” Diana started, pulling out and extending her pointer. “Without a doubt, it will be a grand, elaborate affair, what with our relatively recent explosion in audience numbers, and of course, our new additions to the roster since the magazine’s creation,” she said, looking at Ruby and Akko both.

“Without a doubt, our respective mangakaswill be pulling out all the stops in the near future, so expect dramatic developments in the plot and world-changing arcs, explosive and catastrophic finales, and even new main characters being introduced to our respective casts, Weiss’ series especially.

“Then there is the separate matter of what Mrs. Publisher and the Editors will think they will have to do alongside that; we will likely be working overtime with special editions, extra lengthy chapters, and of course, promotional material and new merchandise.”

Akko groaned. “I smell being framed and almost expelled again…!”

“I sense hundreds of thousands of extras dying, and a city being wiped off the map,” Ruby continued.

“And I’m certaintheecchiis going to hit critical mass…” Weiss muttered, looking down at herself.

“Indeed,” Diana said, nodding gravely as she turned off the projector, exchanged the remote for a whiteboard marker. “Now, shall we get to predictions and planning, ladies?”

With no objections, they got right to it; they ultimately managed to predict quite a lot of things, except for the “almost being erased from existence” part.

Note:I don’t hate Jaune. I don’t have anything against anyone turning him into the aforementioned wish-fulfillment harem protagonist. I hate that, independent of him being Jaune, they’re EVERYWHERE.

A/N: I should be doing like… 10 tasks that are due by tuesday. Instead, I’m adding onto my stress and anxiety attack by writing this. Wee. Lookit me projecting stress onto Diana. Wee. …. *sighs* I like writing soft romance. Lemme have my own soft romance too pls. Fudge.

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

A silent yet familiar click from the hallway caught Akko’s attention. Her hypersensitive ears tuned in on the succeeding sounds of the door swinging open, and banging shut. The footsteps she was used to hearing were a little heavier than they’d usually be, the floorboards creaking from the pressure.

Akko assumed the dull thud she just heard was Diana dropping her bookbag on the floor, that is, until she heard the tiny “ow” followed by whispered curses and a few groans.

Shutting the book she had picked up from one of Diana’s many shelves, she exited the bedroom to find her lover in an odd position on the floor, almost as if she were doing a ‘dogeza’, only that the top of her head was pressed to the floor, her nose pointing towards her legs.

Akko stared for a moment, unsure of what to make of this display. A few blinks passed, and she heard a sighed whimper that was enough to launch her protective senses into overdrive as she quickly slid next to Diana, sitting on the floor and transferring the poor girl’s head onto her lap.

Immediately, Diana turned to face her, shaky arms wrapped themselves around Akko’s thin waist, hugging tight as Diana pressed her face into Akko’s stomach. The latter could feel gentle kisses being placed through the fabric of her shirt, and her hands found their way into fluffy strands of messy hair.

Her fingers worked a gentle massage onto Diana’s scalp while Akko hummed a tune in hopes of getting her to calm down some more. “I love you.” She whispered in addition, hoping her feelings could help in any way.

Somehow, it seemed to have the opposite effect as Diana started to convulse, hiccups coming from her frame as Akko soon felt a warm wetness on her abdomen, followed by the tightening of her shirt as Diana crumpled it up in her fists.

“I’m so… stressed.”

Akko felt her throat constrict, wanting to cry as well. But no, she had to stay calm. For Diana’s sake. Leaning down, she pressed a kiss to her head, rubbing her palm gently down Diana’s side and back, allowing her to cry it all out.

However, her crying only seemed to make Diana more and more tense by the minute, and Akko was beginning to get worried. She didn’t want to panic, but she had no idea what to do either. She couldn’t hope to get up and leave to retrieve something like water or any other soothing warm drink. She had already done all the other things she’d usually do for Diana when she was in distress. She was running out of options.

“Ah.”

Suddenly, it clicked.

Diana yelped as she was carefully, but swiftly pushed onto the floor, Akko pinning her hands down as she leaned into the crook of Diana’s neck. “It’ll be quick, love.”

A small squeak escaped Diana as Akko’s fangs punctured the soft, pale skin, lips covering the area as she sucked out fresh blood bit by bit, controlling her thirst to take more than was necessary in that moment.

Diana’s frustrated huffs soon turned into soft sighs as her tears ceased, the last few rolling down her cheeks and onto the wooden floor. Her hands that had been gripping Akko’s shirt tight were now gently resting on her back as she pulled the shorter girl closer.

Akko delivered one final lick to the area she had bitten, placing a kiss for good measure as she rested her weight atop Diana.

“Better?” She asked quietly.

Diana nodded, hugging even tighter.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Akko felt Diana shake her head no, pressing a kiss to Akko’s temple instead in a silent 'thank you’.

“Okay.”

They stayed that way for a moment longer until the sun disappeared into the evening sky, and the only lights in the living room was from the open window facing the rest of the city.

Akko almost thought Diana had fallen asleep from how peaceful she was at the moment, however that was disproved as Diana asked her a question out of the blue.

“Why did you do that?” She questioned, referring to Akko’s earlier actions of taking her blood without much warning.

“Ah…” Akko thought of what to say, peppering kisses along Diana’s collarbone as she pondered. “I saw it in one of your fancy books. 'Bloodletting’, was it? To like… help with high blood pressure or something.”

Diana blinked.

“What?” She pushed Akko up slightly to give her an incredulous look. “Are you for real?”

Akko simply shrugged.

“I can’t believe you!” Diana chuckled, still unable to wrap her head around that fairly logical approach of Akko’s. “And how could you even say I was experiencing hypertension?”

“…Magic Vampire senses?” Akko tried. Diana looked at her amused. “Hey, I dunno! I just… I just know, okay? It’s a feeling!”

“Yes, yes.” Diana laughed, waving her girlfriend off, leaning up to place a chaste peck on her lips.

Akko grumbled through a blush as she knew there was no winning against Diana.

“Thank you.” She murmured.

“I love you.” Akko replied, getting a pinch on the nose, and another laughing kiss on the lips.

“I love you more.”

A/N: Lemme tell you, I did very minimal research on if this is still applicable in this day and age. I think bloodletting/phlebotomy to relieve hypertension is making a comeback? Idk haha. I just remembered one of my lessons in phleb, Lol. Don’t mind me. Anyway. Bye.

~Shintori Khazumi

A/N: Birthday Quickie for the great jude~ @commieakko . Sorry for the slapdash fic and quality ;-; sorry.

“Diakko dancing in the kitchen” was the prompt~

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

The pot simmered, steadily heading into a boil. The pressure behind its glass top allowed her dish to whistle along to her gentle humming as she decorated three plates with garnish.

“Hmmhmm… hmmm… aaanndddd… perfect!” Akko nodded to herself in pride as she looked over her cooking. Turning to the pot, she gave it a final taste check before moaning in delight and approval.

Turning the stove off, she reached over to the cupboard to acquire a set of bowls, scooping the steamy soup into servings before setting them on individual trays alongside the plates.

Now, what else did she need… Ah! Utensils-

Before she could turn around to reach for the kitchen’s island, arms slipped around her waist, thumbs rubbing along the fabric of her apron over her stomach. A comfortable weight settled onto her shoulder, against her back.

The tune she had previously been humming- Shiny Chariot’s third anime opening- greeted her ears in a sweet melodic delivery, warm and soft.

Akko smiled. Her hands came to rest on those on her stomach, intertwining their fingers as she felt herself slowly being swayed to the music provided by none other than her lovely wife, Diana Cavendish.

“Welcome Home.” She murmured, heart fluttering as a kiss was pressed to her temple.

“I’m Home.”- was whispered in her ear, alongside a gentle kiss placed there.

Akko felt giggles bubbling from her heart as Diana pulled back momentarily, only to twirl Akko smoothly, making her now face a grinning Diana.

“One, two, three… one, two, three…” She chanted.

Akko laughed, taking a step forward, and two steps back, following the lead that Diana had set.

They continued to dance about the kitchen, carefully navigating around the island and the shelves, sometimes bumping into the sink and cupboards, and laughing away the slight aches they felt, peppering kisses of apology on one another’s faces.

“You are a silly girl, Diana Cavendish.” Akko chuckled, cupping Diana’s face and brushing thumb pads along defined cheekbones, lifted up in a blinding smile. “You look so happy.” Akko remarked, a quiver in her tone and tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

“I am.” Diana grinned wider, bumping her forehead against Akko’s nuzzling their noses together. “Thanks to you…”

It was like the world stopped spinning, the air stilling, and the music playing in their heads silenced.

They stared into one another’s eyes, occasionally flicking their gazes down to one another’s lips, breaths mingling softly.

“May I?” Diana breathed quietly.

Akko giggled, leaning in to kiss just beside Diana’s lips. “You may now kiss your bride.”

Akko would like to argue that she did not understand the magic of first kisses. After all, every kiss with Diana was just as memorable and magical as the first- each its own unique enchantment of an experience.

Today’s tasted like Miso soup, sounded like a symphony, and felt like a dance- it was encompassing and savory, and kind like Diana always was.

Diana’s fingers played with strands of her hair, and then the lobes of her ear, tipping Akko’s head up to deepen the kiss, carefully dipping her tongue between Akko’s lips as she was allowed entrance by her wife.

Akko sighed in content, hands grasping Diana’s blazer as to not just fall to her knees. An arm came to support her around her waist, pulling her closer until Akko believed there was no distance to close anymore.

They broke the kiss as she lost breath, panting heavily as she leaned against Diana’s chest, kissing her shoulder.

“I love you.”

“I love you most.”

Looking up, Akko felt her held-back tears slip out, gratitude inexpressible as she hoped Diana could see it in her eyes and understand enough.

She did, her own tears escaping, cascading down the side of her face.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you with all of my believing heart.”

As they reveled in that moment, they missed the click of the front door’s lock, and the swift padding of feet against the wood floors.

They only realized they were not alone when a weigh latched onto the both of them from the side, hugging tight.

“I’m home, Mama, Mummy!” Shimmering blue eyes and familiar brown hair greeted them, Akko and Diana holding back a sob as they made space to welcome their precious bundle of love into their embrace.

Everything was in place in Akko’s kitchen- and in her life as well- and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Welcome Home, my loves.”

Welcome Home.

A/N: Hope you liked it!

~Shintori Khazumi

A/N: Because I love you and this brilliant concept Isa. So i decided to expound on the au… a little. Concept creds go to the ever brilliant @tanuki-pyon

This is a continuation to one of my drabbles. Treat it as chap 1. It’s just gonna be more dumb au stuff so… ayt.

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi.

She Likes Blues- PASTEL Blues (2): It’s A Date!

“I’m your roommate.” Akko managed to lamely state.

The girl in front of her stared at her hand a good, long while making Akko grow more and more nervous by the second.

“Um…miss?”

“Oh, apologies. Yes, yes… Um…” Temporarily placing her phone down on a nearby shelf, Akko watched roommate extend a hand which she gladly took. “Diana.” She curtly said.

“A-Akko.”

“Charmed.” Diana said sweetly, taking her hand back. She gave Akko a quick once-over, and the brunette nervously shuffled her socked feet along the carpet.

“Mi-miss D-Diana?”

“Hmm…” The girl tapped her cheek thoughtfully with a manicured index finger, sucking in the side of her cheek before her expression changed into a friendly smile. Clapping her hands together, she asked, “Ever tried pastel pink or a salmon color?”

Akko stared at her, bewildered.

“What?”

“Clothes. Wearing those colors. Have you ever worn mini-skirts or a sundress? Hmm… Maybe we could find something that would suit you… would Hannah match your size?”

“Um… Miss Diana…?”

“But Barbara might have some nice colors that would match your complexion as well.”

What was… going on?

“You’re ‘all-black’ style looks lovely and all, love-”

‘Love?!’

“But I do believe you could pull off some of the most gorgeous colors, don’t you think so?” Diana asked her, walking forward to lightly pat her cheek. “Okay?”

“…o-okay?” Akko went along with her pace, still not registering what was going on.

“Perfect!” Diana cheered, planting a chaste smooch on Akko’s other cheek before bidding her goodbye with a wave of her fingers. “It’s a date!”

“Date…” Akko repeated blankly, hand touching the place where warm lips had just blessed her. “Date… Date?!” Akko screeched, fingers running up to pull at her hair, trying to prove to her that she wasn’t deliriously dreaming.

[“Oh wow! You just scored a date! Real quick too! Um… congrats, my baby?”]- Her phone sounded from her pocket, and Akko flew inches off the floor in surprise.

“MAMA?!” Had she not hung up?! Wait… did that mean that… her mother had listened in on the entire conversation?! Wait! NO! That couldn’t… this couldn’t… Her heart suddenly picked up speed for a different reason, the organ pounding excruciatingly in her chest. Her mind ran a mile a minute in anxiety and panic.

She wanted to cry, to throw up. Her throat was so dry and painful.

Her mama had heard that. Sure she hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary… had she?

‘Calm down, Akko. Calm down. She might not have thought of it as anything weird. Yeah. Nothing weird. Of course. Except for my very female roommate setting us up on a date.’

Akko took erratic, deep breaths.

‘Oh but that doesn’t mean anything, right? It’s not like you’d normally think it was anything but a friend date unless you know for sure that your kid was… but my mom doesn’t- ’

Wait, but mothers knew these types of things, right? What if she had pieced together Akko’s reaction and figured it all out on her own?

Years of trying to hide it and… but maybe Akko was just that bad at hiding it. And her mom now knew.

Akko hadn’t even told her on her own that she was…

[“Akko-chan? Are you there?”]

No… she… how would she… what would her mom…

“Mama… I’m… I’m sor-”

[“My sweet baby, listen. Listen to Mama for a sec, okay?”]

Akko whimpered, nodding despite her mom not being able to see her.

It was too late. Her mom clearly knew now. Obviously. There was no way she didn’t. She was now going to confront Akko. She was going to tell her, even if it was with a sweet voice, that Akko was in the wrong, and that maybe she’d have to go into that strange therapy session Amanda complained to her about last week. And then she’d say she was disappointed, and that would hurt Akko more than any other thing in the world-

[“Baby, just please be sure to bring her home and introduce her to me during vacation, okay? She sounds like a lovely girl.”]

“…eh?”

[“I love you, my little Akko-chan.”]

Akko felt herself tear up, clutching her phone close in disbelief and incomprehension.

“Mama?” She called out in a hoarse voice, trying to grasp at straws of reality that she suddenly couldn’t fathom.

[“Hai~?”]

Akko sniffed, harshly wiping away her tears on her sweater arm.

“I love you, mama.” She sobbed, trying her best not to outright wail.

[“Mama loves you most.”]

Like a dam, her emotional barrier broke, spilling out in teary mumbles and sobs.

Was it supposed to be this easy? Or was she just so incredibly blessed?

She continued to wail into her phone mic for the next few minutes or so, listening to her mother tell her random stories about geese and laughing at how silly her cries sounded.

She really did adore her mother.

After about fifteen minutes of a breakdown however, a different tune broke through the air. Even her mother noticed it, immediately asking what it was.

“I… don’t know, Ma.” Akko responded, looking around the room to find the source of the grossly cutesy music that certainly didn’t belong to her. “A ringtone?”

And then she spotted it, on the shelf. A glammed-up phone strap, and a case with ears-

“Oh, hell on earth… It’s my roommate’s phone.” Akko accidentally said. She heard her mother belt out a hearty laugh.

[“Well, then I guess you should do what you have to.”] She said.

“Huh? What do you mean? Pick it up?” Akko asked, unsure.

[What?! No! Wait… actually, maybe you should.”] Mrs. Kagari muttered.

“Eeehh?”

[“Hurry! And put it on speaker in case it’s some weirdo!”]

Feeling the urgency in her mother’s tone, Akko felt compelled to pick up, holding the glittery device to her ear, and trying her best not to sound awkward or stupid for her roommate’s sake.

“Hello? Um… the owner of this phone currently-”

[“Oh, is this Akko?”]

“Y-yes! This is indeed, um, Akko… who is… conversing… with you.” She squeaked out. She could hear her mother facepalm on the other line.

[“Oh perfect! Hi! Um, this is Diana. Sorry about inconveniencing you. I was a little foolish and forgot my phone, it seems. Sorry for calling. I was just making sure that I hadn’t actually lost it along the way.”]

“Oh. Oh wow, that’s… that would have been terrible.” Akko responded stiffly. She could just hear her mother’s shame from across the ocean. It wasn’t like she had taught her how to flirt or anything!

[“Yes, indeed it would have.”] She heard Diana’s sweet giggling on the other end, and her heart soared. [“I’m so glad it’s with you, though- in safe hands.”]

Akko was so glad Diana couldn’t see her stupid grin. “Me-me too! I’m… I’m glad too! For you!”

[“You are terrible at this.”] Akko barely heard her mother groan.

“Um… s-so… do you want me to… bring your phone over to where you are or something?” Akko asked, clutching the phone securely in hand.

[“Oh! Oh, dear no. Please don’t feel bothered. I just wanted to check if it was okay. B-but… if it’s not an inconvenience to you…”]

Akko found her bashfulness quite cute. Like everything else about Diana.

[“If you don’t bring the lady her phone, I will disown you.”]

Her mom could be terrible sometimes.

“I’ll… I’ll bring you your phone, no worries. It’s no biggie… um… just tell me where you are and I’ll head on over.” Akko said, grabbing a notepad to take down the address.

[“Really? Oh thank you! Thank you so much! You’re a darling, Akko.” Diana responded cheerily, dictating the directions for Akko to take to get to her. [“Again, you are sucha sweetheart.”]

“No, not at all.” Akko chuckled awkwardly. “Anyone would do this.” She shyly replied.

[“Oh, not at all, sweetie. You’d be surprised.”]

Akko blushed at the pet name, already muting out her mother’s teasing giggles.

[“Tell you what, once you get here, I’ll treat you to lunch. How about that? Oh, and while we’re at it, we could just do our little date! What say you, darling?”]

Akko was reaching the cap of her shyness threshold here. She didn’t know if she could take anymore.

“S-Sure.” She was still afraid to come off as rude to her brand new roommate though. Wanting to make a good impression, she figured she’d accept.

That’s all there was to it.

[“Brilliant! See you soon, love~ Bye.”]

At the dial tone that ended the call, Akko walked over to her bed, grabbed a pillow… and screamed.

[“Send me pics, love you!”]- She heard in the background before her mom hung up as well.

Akko screamed again.

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to @tracedinairlwa who really reallywanted to see Akko suffer. Also thank you to everyone who really seem to like this dumbass concept! Wahaha :’> Have a cheeky, tired Diana. Exhaustion do be making people act weird. Sorry if it feels OOC ;-;. Sorry if it- idk. It’s just me writing diakko being dumb flirty lovers.

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

A Bloody Relationship Chapter 2: Feeding Time

“… Why are you curled up on the floor like that?” Diana asked skeptically, gazing upon her lover and wondering what she had done thistime.

“…Your reaction is so weak. Is that it? After seeing your girlfriend huddled in pain like this?” Akko groaned, rubbing her side with a pale hand. “Can’t you at least be like… ‘Wah! Akko! Are you okay?! What’s wrong, sweetheart?!’ -Or something along those lines?” She complained, mimicking Diana’s usual accent and tone of voice with that tiny hint of bitterness from how she was feeling and how Diana was reacting to her current situation.

Diana sighed at the childish, and somewhat worrisome display. Sure, maybe she was responding halfheartedly, and yes, Akko did look like she was in a lot of pain. However, Diana would like to think that she’d known Akko enough to be able to distinguish when the vampire was in any form of serious danger, and when things were just the foolish consequences of her own actions.

“What did you do?” She asked, crossing her arms as she squatted down beside Akko.

“Why do you say that as if you think this is myfault?”

‘Because I do.’ Diana’s deadpanned gaze and raised brows were all Akko needed to see to actually ‘hear’ Diana’s response in her head.

“Ugh…”

“Did you try to wear my jewelry again?” Diana started to list all the usual possibilities off, too tired-again-to entertain Akko’s shenanigans. Again.

“What- no! That stuff burns!” She replied.

“So does the sun. Did Amanda ask you to go jogging with her this afternoon then?”

“Huh? No!”

“Did Lotte insist you bath with the shower? Did you start smelling?”

“What? No!” Akko exclaimed horrified. “D-do I ever?”

“I guess not.” Diana shrugged, before looking very serious.

Somehow, Akko knew she was anything BUT that at the moment.

“…”

“…”

“Diana, whatever you’re thinking, I don’t think it’s that.”

“Did Sucy ask you to read her Bible-”

“Diana.”

And Diana finally cracked, breaking into a grin as she giggled, raising her hands in surrender.

“I knew you were shitting with me. Fine, Fine! Take your stress out on me!” Akko moaned with a pout, rolling onto her back, limbs splayed out as she exposed her stomach to Diana who gently reached down to rub it.

Already, Akko was starting to feel better as she sighed in contentment.

“Thank youuuu.” She purred, taking Diana’s free hand to place a soft kiss to her palm in gratitude.

“You’re very welcome, dear.” Diana chuckled, leaning down to place a chaste kiss on Akko’s stomach.

They sat in the quiet of their living room, the afternoon birds providing them soft background music as they lived in that one moment of peace and rest.

“So was it Ramen or Garlic bread?”

Sometimes, Akko wasn’t quite the one who broke said peace.

“…garlic bread.”

“Cheesy?”

“Very.”

“…”

“…sorry.”

“You should have left some for me.” Diana said, pinching Akko’s side enviously.

“Fridge.”

“Huuuhhh?? You know I don’t like it cold!” Diana whined, laying herself over Akko’s stomach.

“TOAST IT, woman!” Akko complained back. “At least I left you some!”

“When you put things like that in the refrigerator, the texture becomes strange, even after toasting!” Diana frowned, shifting herself so she now lay parallel atop Akko, chin resting on Akko’s chest. “Where did you get it?”

“You’re really gonna buy a new loaf? Just because you don’t like the texture?”

“Yes.” Diana’s response was so quick, Akko rolled her eyes.

“You can be oddly petty.”

“Says you.”

“Says me, indeed.” Akko stuck her tongue out at Diana, only for the woman to do so back. “Oh my gosh. The esteemedDiana Cavendish just poked her tongue out childishly, towards the innocent, pained me. Dear Lord, this child was raised without manners!” Akko mocked.

Diana slapped Akko’s cheeks lightly, pressing them together as she frowned at the teasing.

Akko’s eyes shone with mischief, daring Diana to release her so she could make some other foolish comment.

Diana hated that she was curious.

“Stick your tongue out again.”

“So that you can make fun of me? No, thank you.” Diana huffed, turning her head away and pressing her ear to Akko’s chest instead, searching for a non-existent heartbeat.

“Oh come on, please? It’ll be quick. I swear I won’t do it to tease you.”

Diana shifted her head, looking into Akko’s eyes, searching for any trickery in them. Upon finding none, she relented with a nod, hesitantly allowing her tongue to peek out from between her lips-

Only for it to be taken between Akko’s as the girl initiated a rather deep kiss, wrapping her arms around Diana’s slim waist and pulling her closer.

Diana felt the corners of her mouth tip up into a smile as she pressed back, allowing her tongue to explore Akko’s mouth, carefully swiping over her sharp fangs and feeling a tingle of pleasure run down her spine at the sensation.

Akko bit on her lower lip lightly, teasing with those same fangs, making Diana wonder if she’d go so far as to puncture them- actually, low-key wanting Akko to, she shamefully acknowledged.

She made a disappointed noise when it didn’t happen, and she pinched Akko’s arm when the girl laughed into the kiss knowingly.

Running her tongue along the roof of Akko’s mouth, she internally grinned in triumph at the moan she was able to coax out. Her hands began to run along the curve of Akko’s neck, drawing random shapes down to her collarbone.

Diana’s breath hitched when she felt a finger slip under her blouse, immediately pulling away as she swatted Akko’s hands off, and sat up to recover all the air she’d lost in those few moments.

Akko grinned at her, not at all breathless. Diana was a little bitter about that fact, frowning at Akko’s easygoing demeanor after what she considered an intense session.

“I have school tomorrow.”

“No, you don’t.” Akko grinned wider. “You gave me a copy of your schedule, right?”

Diana huffed, annoyed at her smugness. “Then what about your upset stomach?”

“Hmm?” Akko tilted her head, pretending not to know anything. “Oh, this little thing?” She asked, pointing to her belly. “Psh, all better.” She waved the issue away with her hand. “Definitely better… especially after that.” She murmured, eyes lidded and voice dropping low.

Diana felt her face flush, suddenly unable to look Akko in the eye.

“Y-You… is it… feeding time?”

“…”

Diana caught Akko blinking dumbly, before she burst into a fit of giggles.

“Crap, ahahahaha, okay. Okay, that was awkward and endearing as hell. Hahahahaha!” Akko wiped a tear from her eye, as Diana continued to grumble embarrassedly.

“You don’t have to laugh so hard.”

Akko calmed down, sitting up as she embraced Diana gently, before quickly picking her up bridal style, and marched in the direction of the bedroom.

“A-Akko?!” Diana’s flustered voice cracked, and once more, Akko laughed at her adorable girlfriend’s expense, planting a gentle kiss on her nose, before cheekily stating the obvious.

“Yes, love.

It’s feeding time.”

I came back to it!

They b looking more like them old western cowboys rather than pirates. But wtvr it’s like a huge improvement from the og I drew, shit was drawn in my stupid laggy-ass phone.

But like bruh the amount of references I was looking for. Like mainly for Diana, she extra af

Yeh…. I might or might not color and draw or write more of this AU.

Cover art for that one Hamanda Hero x Villain comic idea I haven’t continued

I just don’t know like what to title it and how to flipping color

I wanna at least try to keep up after this and finish the first chapter.

This was like 4 years old I think idk back at 2017 or 2016 idfk

And my friend @mxdar finessed that shit back then too

Idk y I deleted this post

I got lazy halfway

Going to Cali in 2 days. Gonna visit the Cecil hotel fo’ sure

Part 1/?