A/N:Since the trailer for The Bubble dropped, we’ve been reduced to thirsty (gender-neutral) bitches, and there are some good fics out. Dfinitely check out Pleaseby@ezrasbirdie,Extra Whipped Creamby@pettyprocrastinationandStayby@honestly-shite. And like clowns we’re all using the same fucking gifs because this character ain’t even on screen yet. All three fics are brilliant, please go read and shout at them about how good it is.
This fic definitely borders on a crack fic, he’s not a fully rounded character and the action is smutty and with tongue very firmly in cheek. And other places. It’s satire if you squint. I am both amused and deeply ashamed. If I’m going to horny jail, I’m taking you with me. Not beta’d, mistakes mine.
Rating: 18+, no minors
Pairing:Dieter Bravo x F!Reader (fuck, I know ok. I KNOW)
If you want more ficlets in this universe please come shout at me. This was so much fun to write.
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You’re one person in a long line of interviewers. They’re ushering you into the hotel like cattle, but honestly, you would gladly queue for days to meet him. You spent way too many hours engrossed in Dieter’s work, rewatching scenes. You can quote most of his iconic lines. You didn’t even have to do research prior to this interview. Dieter. Mentally you’re on a first name basis with him. You have lost yourself in his work, and you want him to know that.
This fic is fighting me because I’m going through some things this week….but here’s a little taster of what’s to come:
“In your confusion it takes you a minute to identify little huffs and breathy whimpers from Dieter. Panicking that he might be in pain, you rip the curtain open with more force than it really needed.
A nurse is standing pressed close to Dieter’s bed. Both men’s heads snap to you, and it takes a moment for your eyes to drift down, where the nurse’s arm has disappeared into a very obvious tent in the bedcovers.”
Rating: M. Language, mentions of COVID, some alcohol references, some sex talk / relationship talk
Summary: Officially hired on to work for the Cliff Beasts 6 shoot, you settle into your new routine … and get to know your neighbor a little better.
Is Dieter Bravo really who he seems to be? Who knows - but you’ve got a couple months to find out.
Author’s note:
Uh, so, the response to part one? INSANE. Thank you all so much for reading and for commenting and for giving my take on this character a shot. I’m about 1900 words into part 5 right now, so as long as I can keep up some momentum, this one should update regularly. I’m having a ton of fun with this story - so I hope you do, too.
Stepping out of the elevator the following morning, you were unsurprised to see that the blonde was again behind the front desk and looked as unenthused to see you as she previously had. She gave you a tight smile as you walked closer, and instead of greeting her with just a clipped ‘hello’, you swallowed your pride and zeroed in on her nametag. Anika.“Good morning, Anika. I’m supposed to ask you where the production team is set up, I guess I have some documents to sign?”
The prompt for this week’s Writer Wednesday was given by the new and improved @writer-wednesday!
“Mr. Bravo, pardon my language and my bluntness, but you need a fucking hobby.”
Dieter opened his mouth, two seconds from arguing, but his assistant, Peggy, was faster. “Having sex with people isn’t a hobby,” she added sharply. “You’ve gone on one too many lust-driven benders in the past few months, and the director for your newest film is considering dropping you if you don’t clean up your act.”
Rating: M (slightly raunchy). There’s mention of what happened to Dieter, but not in detail. Language. Sex. Alcohol.
Summary:Things on he set of Cliff Beasts 6 continue to go downhill, and without Dieter’s daily set presence, it’s noticeable.
As the man’s departure date nears, the two of you admit to a lot more than either of you ever planned to - but it only leads to more questions and uncertainty.
Author’s note:
This chapter ended up being longer than the others, but I needed to get to a certain spot before I cut it. I hope you understand.
We divide from canon a little more here, but it’s not too much - just to keep things flowing the way that I’ve been writing them.
Also, with this chapter, I’ll be taking a short break from posting a new one every other day - this is the last piece that I have written as of right now - but I DO have two other Locked Down related pieces in the works that I would like to finish.
I am also ITCHING to get back to Jay and the Catfish Popeboy in “Caught On” - and I have a Javi P story that’s just about finished … so don’t worry - thisstory isn’t DONE, I’m just taking a pause in the main chapters to get some other things done (I’ve written 100k for this story in less than a month, so it’ll be nice to diversify)
Six days later, you were finishing with filming for the day, carefully packing your cameras up for the night. It had been a bad day on the set - Carol actually had a full on meltdown, going off on Darren about changing her scene to one with no lines andmoving her to the back of the group without warning. Krystal’s response to that had been a small tantrum of her own about how she deserved the spotlight, Sean trying to play peacekeeper along with Dustin. But then Lauren stepped in, raising her voice and getting into both Krystal and Darren’s faces. That effectively halted filming for nearly an hour while everyone calmed down, but it had thrown everything off - including your work, because you’d had to try and figure out which horrible situation deserved your attention the most.
And at the sight of Jenna standing in the doorway with her arms crossed, you knew the day was about to get worse. “Jenna.” You sighed, zipping the camera bag. “Done with your quarantine? I didn’t know -”
“Are you busy?” She stepped closer, dropping her arms. “Just got in a little while ago, and I haven’t been up to see Dieter yet. I wanted to talk to you first.” Shit.
Summary; Dieter in panties. That’s it. That’s the fic.
Word Count; ~3k
Content & Warnings; subby!Dieter, Oral sex (f receiving) coming untouched, underwear fetish, face sitting. Established relationship. Also - I have done my absolute best not to “gender”the clothing items; but it is a cis male character wearing traditionally feminine undergarments
Author Note; *throws hands in air* I DON’T KNOW. IT JUST HAPPENED OKAY?! This movie needs to come out ASAP, this whore (affectionate) has me in a chokehold.
This work contains explicit adult content and is intended for audiences over the age of eighteen. By continuing to read you agree that you are 18 or older, have read the content and warnings and wish to proceed
If he’s having a quickie somewhere like a dressing room, there’s really no time for aftercare. Yeah, he’ll get both of you something to clean up with and spend a few minutes recovering before one or both of you leaves, but that’s about it.
If it’s just fucking - in a bed or a trailer, he’s fine with catching his breath for a little while before worrying about clean up or getting dressed, but he doesn’t cuddle - never the first time hooks up with someone. That sends the wrong message.
If it’s a repeat encounter - someone he knows in a specific city, an actor or actress he’s worked with before (like the makeup girl that worked on two seasons of the sitcom he guest starred on), he’s a little more personable, and takes things a little further.
It’s not quite “holding you against my chest” cuddling, but Dieter has no issue with sleeping next to someone that he trusts, and if that means body parts are touching someone else’s while unconscious, he isn’t going to freak out about it when he wakes up.
But if it’s with someone that he’s in a relationship with, he definitely lets his guard down more and allows himself to get closer. That means touching. That means exploring. That means care and affection and attention - and it makes him feel much more vulnerable, which he doesn’t always like.
Even with Mara, who was his “realest” relationship (before you), there was always that fear of being vulnerable, because Dieter equates caring for someone with trusting them - the same way that person trusts him with their body + ensuring it’s cleaned up after sex. Aftercare can be just as intimate as actual sex, and Dieter is well aware of this.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Dieter’s favorite of his own body parts is his face - but not for the reason you might think. It’s because he knows that his ability to use his face is what helps keep him employed. His facial expressions draw people in - show them what he’s thinking and feeling, and he can use it as a mask if he needs to - and he does often. Dieter’s good at showing people what he wants them to see - and even if sometimes, the words that come out of his mouth don’t quite match the way he looks? Well people still go based on what they see.
On you? His immediate answer would be your mouth - he likes the way you use it, and I don’t just mean for sexual stuff. (He’ll never ever tell you no when it comes to that, though, because you are damngood to him.) He likes how you joke with him. Likes how you laugh. Likes the way sometimes when you concentrate your tongue pokes between your teeth or into your cheek. He also really likes the way your lips look when they curve upward into a huge smile at the sight of him - especially when you haven’t seen each other in a while.
Bonus:Your favorite part of Dieter?
His fucking hands. Strong, thick fingers. Wide, warm palms. The way you can always tell what kind of a mood he’s in based on where they’re at and what they’re doing. (Hanging at his sides, fingers loose? Dieter’s calm and relaxed. Thumbs tucked against his palms and his fingers flexing? He’s a little on edge. One thumb pressed against the bullseye tattoo? It’s time to get him out of his own head.) But the best is when they’re on you, because you can feel the strength in them, even when they’re just resting on your skin. You can feel how into you he is when he brushes his fingertips over your temple or your lips, or even just grazes his thumb over the back of your hand. You like his hands most because you like being touched by Dieter … but to be completely honest, you just like him, and the hands are an added bonus.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He likes the mess. He likes the way it feels when you come - because it’s a physical reaction that tells him what he’s doing is right, that you like it, that your body responds to what he does. The man always finds an excuse to taste you - either straight from the source or via his fingers (or your own, which happens a lot because he likes it when you touch yourself, too)
As for his? Most of the time, it’s not very messy because he does use protection whenever he actually has sex. But when you’re going down on him, or when he’s taking care of business and getting himself off - or when you manage to catch him off guard and he comes before he has a chance to put the condom on? He loses his mind at the sight of it on your skin or his.
And when the two of you finally make the decision to stop using condoms and switch to only using other forms of birth control? Neither of you will ever forget the sound he made the first time he finished inside you of you and then almost immediatelydove down to clean the mess between your legs with his tongue. It’s not about the way he tastes himself - but the two of you combined? He can’t get enough.
D = Dynamic (what kind of dynamic do they have with their partner? Dom? Sub? Switch?)
Dieter hands down will tell you that he’s a switch, but the truth is that he’s more submissive than anything else. There are certain phrases he uses and requests he makes of you (“look at me”, “get up here”, “sit/lay down”, etc) and when he says them you don’t even hesitate to do as he’s asking … but most of the time? It’s you that’s leading, at least in terms of deciding what exactly is going to happen.
He loves confidence. He loves someone that knows what they want in bed and what they expect from a partner - and when you’re able to articulate that? He’s gone. It turns him on so goddamn much when the person he’s with takes control of a situation and leads him. A lot of people just want to get fucked by an actor - and so they expect him to direct them, which he’s done quite a lot - but it isn’t his favorite.
He doesn’t like being bossed around, and there’s a fine line between making pointed requests and cruelty. Even in the moment, Dieter’s not afraid to tell you when you’re approaching - or have crossed - that line.
This mostly comes from the way that he’s been treated on set in the past by shitty directors and entitled costars, and he doesn’t want degradationin the bedroom from either side - he just wants someone else to make decisions sometimes and stick with them. That way, he knows that you’re getting what you want - and so is he… because it means you’ll be happy.
Bonus D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Dieter’s history of relationships with men and women is very widely known, but he’s pretty good at being discreet when it comes to casual partners.
When he was first starting out in the industry, he tried to keep it more private when he was with a man, just because he didn’t want people to typecast him or for it to potentially cost him any roles or fans, but as time passed and he became more comfortable with it, he hid it less.
And when things really started to pick up for him, Dieter began to explore more things - including threesomes with a man and a woman at the same time.
Well one of them was with a couple, and Dieter liked the man a hell of a lot more than he liked the woman - and the feeling was mutual. So Dieter and the man (Alex) continued to see each other without the girlfriend knowing for about six months. And even though it was regular, and no matter how good the sex was, Dieter always felt like shit when it was over because he knew that it wasn’t the right thing to do, but he was infatuated.
The girl never found out, and Dieter finally put an end to it because Alex casually mentioned that he was going to propose to his girlfriend… and that’s a line that Dieter wasn’t about to cross. He still feels bad, though, and hasn’t been in any hurry to repeat that scenario with another couple since - even though he has had other threesomes.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
If you look up the word “experience” in the dictionary, there might as well be a picture of Dieter next to it. He’s had a ton of partners. He’s slept with a lot of different types of people - actors and actresses, crew, other celebrities, athletes … he’s seen and done his fair share of fucking throughout his career.
And it shows. He’s really good in bed, even when he’s not putting 100% into it, which he only does when he’s really into someone or something that he’s doing. (He’s always given you 100%, from the very beginning. And he doesn’t know why but he’s fucking glad he did).
He does have a reputation - and it’s really easy to find examples of what he’s like online - but those examples aren’t always the whole truth. The effort that Dieter puts in is in direct correlation to the way his partner is in bed, but not the way you might think.
If you’re overacting, Dieter does bare minimum, because he knows it’s all he has to do. If you’re genuinely responsive to him, and giving him real cues, he’s more motivated to put his skills to use, because he feels like you’ll appreciate them.
He knows enough about what he’s doing - and what other people are doing in return - to have a pretty good read on what someone wants in bed, and is very easily adaptable to give it to them - often without them even having to ask.
Also, the fact that Dieter has a lot of experience with a lot of things leads you into some really interesting scenarios … because not only does he have confidence, he’s patient about including you in them when (and if) you want. Dieter knows what works and what doesn’t, and what tends to be comfortable and worth trying. At first, it sort of makes you feel inadequate because your sex life hasn’t been too out of the ordinary, but once you understand that his experience is only going to help the two of you find what works best? You start viewing it as an asset in the relationship.
Those other partners were learning experiences for him - and even if he enjoyed them, he didn’t enjoy them enough to make them permanent… just enough to teach him a little something that he can make use of in the future.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
This might surprise you (not), but Dieter values comfort and convenience when it comes to sex for the most part. Missionary is great. Doggy is even better, because it allows him to control the pace and get some good, hard thrusts in. (It does hurt his knees after a while, though…but he hates to admit it.)
He’s also really partial to the position that the two of you were in the night before he got sick - your back to his chest, even though he usually doesn’t come from contact alone andkissing whoever he’s with on the back and shoulders isn’t exactly standard operating procedure for him.
And you on your hands and knees isn’t just good for actual sex - he loves this position for going down on you, too. It opens you up in a very different way than when you’re laying on your back, or standing in front of him - and even though he loves it when you’re hovering over him, the man mouthing his way up your inner thighs while they tremble, there’s something about getting to look at you first that drives him insane, especially since this angle means that you can’t always anticipate exactly when his mouth is going to make first contact.
One of Dieter’s favorite memories with you is the first time he took you from behind - and it was only a couple weeks after you’d started sleeping together.
You were in your bed, naked and on your stomach, and Dieter couldn’t help asking you to get on your knees, ass in the air as you balanced on your elbows. He slid a pillow under your body, giving you a little more cushion, and then moved behind you, using both hands to spread your legs. It would have been a great position for sex, but Dieter didn’t want sex, he wanted to put his mouth on you, and so he did.
He started by kissing his way up the backs of your thighs, his hands massaging the skin before his lips got to it. You didn’t stay completely silent, your quiet hums and sighs music to his ears, but when he pulled away to look at you, noticing that the insides of your thighs were slick, Dieter used one finger to touch you, sliding it into you with a practiced ease. The action made you spread your knees more, opening you up to him, and it didn’t take him long to pull his hand back, heart pounding and his body buzzing with desire. “Tell me if you need me to stop.”
He nearly moaned out the words, both hands back on you and squeezing, and your agreement was quiet but sure, a nod of your head followed by verbal permission for him to keep going.
He kissed the inside of your thigh before moving higher, and the tip of his nose brushed against you before anything else did - and he felt you shudder at the contact. Good. She’s gonna fucking love this.
And you did - your entire body shaking as he used his tongue on you,
lapping at the place his finger had just been, tongue twisting to delve further into your body while his hands gripped your legs to hold you in place. Dieter hadn’t known if he could get you off from that angle before he’d started, but when you bucked your hips backward, lifting them up to give him a different approach, he knew that not only was it possible, it was going to happen.
You came on his face a few minutes later, the man’s groan at the taste of you vibrating on your damp, puffy skin, and he’d been reluctant to let you go, drinking you down until you cried out, swatting at him with one hand and telling him that it was too much.
You collapsed on the bed, rolling over onto your back, chest heaving and your legs open enough so that he could crawl up between them, kissing the skin of your stomach and chest before you grabbed his face and forced his mouth against yours, kissing him almost as deeply as he’d just kissed a different part of your body.
It might have been too much for him to continue that night, but you never said no after that when he suggested a repeat of the position, and after almost no time at all, he didn’t need to suggest it anymore - because youdid.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Dieter’s a mix. Again, it depends a lot on his partner, but overall, he tries to keep it light and fun, especially for the one night stands and the hookups that catch him by surprise. He likes to laugh, likes to let the people he’s with know that things aren’t serious and they shouldn’t treat them as such. He likes to set expectations from the very beginning, because it allows for both (or all three) parties to enjoy every second.
And that works well with you, too, because you like breaking up the serious with a little bit of levity. You like making him laugh. You like letting him know that you’re not expecting serious and focused and super meaningful moments every single time you’re in bed with him.
With you, though, Dieter does tend to get sort of quiet and a little more introspective when you’re done. He might make a joke or two, but then the two of you do talk seriously sometimes - and that caught you by surprise, especially in the beginning. Especially when he asked you to stay and told you he had no interest in kicking you out. It was a lot to think about, and honestly didn’t do you any favors when it came to keeping your expectations low, because he contradicted himself almost right from the get go in a lot of ways.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
The thing about Dieter is that he only lookslike he crawled out of a thrift store’s back room. He doesn’t smell like it and definitely doesn’t groomlike it. The hair on the top of his head might be fluffy and unkempt (though it’s the softest thing you’ve ever felt), and his beard might be patchy, but he’s always clean, and he always smells good. (The exceptions after you met being when he was sick and when he went through the middle few days of quarantine)
He keeps his body hair neatly trimmed, though maybe slightly longer than the other men that you’ve ever been with, but it’s not overwhelming, and if you asked him to or made a comment, you know that he’d change it for you.
As for the color? Unlike the hair on his head and the hair on his face, Dieter’s still all dark below the waist.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
If you asked Dieter, he’d tell you that he doesn’t like or need romance. He wants physical, in the moment connection, and that’s enough for him. It’s been enough for him in the past, and he’s got himself convinced it’s all he needs in the future. But the truth is that Dieter’s so much more intimate than he knows he is - especially when he lets his guard down.
Sexual intimacy is one thing, and that’s a connection he never skimps on. He wants to feel good - and wants to make the people he’s with feel just as good. Physical intimacy … it’s not quite as abundant, but he’s still incredible with his hands and mouth, knows how to use his body in the moment. He’s very purposeful with the way he touches people and what these touches mean.
But when it comes to being emotionally intimate, Dieter alwaysholds back. It’s hard for him to really connect with people because of the choices he’s made about the way he interacts with them, and there are cases - like with Mara - where he thought he was ready for more - for an actual honest to God emotional connection with someone that was just as ready … but he waited for her to ask him, and she never did. He couldn’t bring himself to take that leap, and it’s probably a good thing, because if she’d known how much he cared, how much he wanted her to care? It would have been yet another thing she could have used to hurt him in the end.
With you, Dieter found himself being emotionally intimate before you’d even done more than touch hands. It wasn’t the physical or sexual intimacy that led to an emotional connection - it was the emotional that made it possible to have such a good first physical encounter. He still held back with you, still didn’t let himself get overwhelmed with what he liked about you before anything physical happen - but it was different for him.
He didn’t mind spending platonic time together. He didn’t mind conversations. He didn’t even thinkabout just trying to get you into bed (even though he would have liked to, because Dieter was attracted to you even when he could only see half of your face because of the mask you wore). But one of the things that he’s most thankful for - and will actually comment on in a very public way in the future - is that he didn’t just rush into a physical relationship with you instead of taking the time to slowly build that intimacy on all levels.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Dieter’s masturbation routine is very different on set than it is at home.
At home, he’s used to being able to scratch that itch in a very specific way. He’s got a couple people that he knows he can call if he wants to get off with almost no effort or expectation, so masturbation is sort of a last resort, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t enjoy it.
On set, it happens more often, because he doesn’t usually like to sleep his way through the cast and crew. It’s happened, of course, but while working, if he can’t get away to meet people that aren’t working on the production to take to bed, he’s much likelier to take matters into his own hands and just get it done.
He prefers the real thing; there’s nothing like a warm body flush against his, or a wet mouth around him, but the end result is the same no matter the vehicle used to get there … and so Dieter makes do with whatever he has available to him.
A couple thoughts:
He doesn’t need to be comfortable to get himself off. Standing up in the shower? Takes a couple minutes. Sitting on the couch with one foot up on the coffee table? Same, except from a different angle.
Dieter doesn’t like to touch himself while high.
When he’s got a sex scene in a movie, Dieter will masturbate in front of a mirror “in character” just to watch his facial expressions so that he can recreate them while filming. So that face you see onscreen? That’s legitimately Dieter Bravo’s “I’m getting myself off” ‘O’ face.
Before Dieter’s first red carpet event, he was so nervous that he was late because he wanted to get himself off so that he was relaxed before leaving the hotel and getting into the car - but he couldn’t finish (at first).
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Being handcuffed/restrained
As discussed earlier, Dieter’s a little submissive, and likes when you take control. That equates to him really enjoying being handcuffed - or otherwise restrained. You don’t do it often because it’s not something that you were used to before you met him and got with him, but you’re more than happy to indulge Dieter by locking his wrists to the bedposts, or sitting him up and cuffing them behind his back. Once or twice, you’ve even cuffed him in front of his body so that he could drape his arms over your shoulders while you ride him … but that usually leads to him getting a little frustrated because he’s so close to being able to touch you … but still so far.
There’s only so much Dieter can take, you know?
Competence (see Locked Down Part 6)
Roleplaying based on character fic
There will probably be a longer one shot for this written in the future, but here’s a little explanation to tide you over.
Dieter doesn’t always stay up on what’s happening online, because … he just doesn’t really care. He cares what people think about his work, but just like he doesn’t watch his own stuff (aside from attending premieres and making appearances that he’s contractually obligated to do) he doesn’t look up reviews or anything like that - and he definitely doesn’t scroll Twitter or Instagram to see what people are saying. That’s what Jenna’s for, and there will be times when she finds specific things that she thinks he needs to know so that he can like them or reply to them.
But he doesn’t even know that fanfic exists until you tell him. And he doesn’t know that fanfic exists for his characters until you tell him … and show him.
And when that happens? All bets are off. He’s absolutely fascinated by the fact that people write stories about his characters … and when he realizes that there are SMUTTY ones written about characters like Gio and Billy and Devon from the medical drama and even fucking AnthonyfromHunger Strike he can’t help himself from reading them.
That leads to the two of you reading them together. And reading them together leads to you joking about the logistics of the sex acts within the stories. And joking about them leads to you testing them out … and testing them out leads to … well, you get the picture.
Dieter likes soft things
This is sort of self explanatory, but he really likes being comfortable while having sex. Masturbation while being slightly uncomfortable is one thing - and it helps him to differentiate between the scenarios - but he loves the feeling of soft materials on his skin, or pillows under his head. This is why he lives in the bathrobe both in London and elsewhere; he loves the way the material feels on his skin - and it keeps him alert. Dieter tends to sleep hot, so his sheets at home are cooling - and he often sleeps naked.
Soft things also translates to you, too. The skin of your stomach and inner thighs. The brush of a skirt or sleeve against his hand. The way you touch him with the pads of your fingers. He feels it all, and he loves it - and can’t help how much it turns him on. (There was also an Encounter the two of you had where you were in the back seat of a car on your way home from some black tie event, and you were trying to tease him by not taking one of your gloves off while you touched him … and it backfired… all over the front of his pants.)
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Anywhere. However, he isn’t going to have sex somewhere that would be flat out disrespectful to other people. For example, he draws the line at sex on the actual set. (Lauren and Dustin, I am looking at you)
He likes being comfortable, though (like I mentioned) - so he prefers locations like beds and couches, or even chairs when they’re the right size.
Dieter fucked you on his kitchen table once - and only once, because the chain of events that transpired resulted in a broken table, a hole in his kitchen wall and you needing three stitches in your elbow. Neither of you regret it … but it’s not gonna happen again until some changes are made and precautions are taken.
He likes being somewhere where he feels safe - which is (was) especially true when he’s having sex while high, because he knows the kind of damage that would be done to his career when and if pictures and the story came out.
He’s horny, not stupid.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Honestly, it doesn’t take much. Dieter’s pretty much always ready for sex - but he’s also aware of the fact that it’s not always going to play out how he wants it to. Willing and able doesn’t mean that he’s going to see it through every single time, and that’s perfectly fine with him.
But he loves when you lock eyes with him and then touch him casually. He loves when you flirt. He absolutely goes wild when you make him laugh - and when you give him a hard time.
Touch stimulation is good, but he likes the fact that that you can turn him on without touching him by just being there. The competence kink that he didn’t know he had until he saw you going at it with Darren on set is something unique to you. You weren’t the first person to stand up to a director in front of him, and you weren’t even the first person that he wanted to sleep with that stood up for themselves and what they knew was right in front of him … but for whatever reason, that specific day and thinking about it was enough to really get him going, and it continues to be that way well on into the future.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Dieter’s turn offs include people wanting to roleplay actual scenes from the movies and shows he’s done. He’s had a fair amount of intimate scenes, so there’s plenty to choose from, but for the most part, what he said to Lauren was the truth: he never watches his own shit, and prefers to forget about his actual performances as soon as he’s done on set.
He also uses this as a way to figure out if people are interested in him or in the characters he plays - and weeds people out without hesitation if they’re hellbent on being with the actor. (The exception to this rule, though … is found in the ‘kinks’ section.)
He doesn’t have an issue running lines with you, though. This happens while he’s going over scripts and edits, before he shoots scenes, or deciding which projects to take or leave. Prep work is one thing, and finding ways to try new things in bed with you is always exciting for him … but someone telling him that they want to sleep with one of his characters from the get-go is a no go.
Another turn off for him? Not being spontaneous. Dieter doesn’t expect people to drop everything and do what he wants every time he asks, but he’s used to his life being highly scheduled - filming, promo, interviews, travel for auditions - and when he has downtime and can enjoy himself?
He wants it to be less structured. And sometimes that means having no plans and playing everything by ear. If you can’t accept that, then he’s not the right person - even for a quickie or a one night stand.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Like I hinted at in Locked Down, Dieter’s never going to turn down a blowjob - but that doesn’t mean that they’re always good. However … a blowjob is faster than sex. It’s easier to clean up from, and it requires very little personal connection … so Dieter enjoys them very much. He’s found that in most cases, men are much more skilled at the task, but he’d have to be hard pressed to turn one down from anyone. (Although there was one actress at an awards show that he had to step away from before he came because she was a little too eager and too rough, and if he’d stayed he just knew that there’d be a Blind Gossip post about the fact that he couldn’t keep it up … and that would have hurt his pride way too much.)
He takes a lot of pride in giving oral, too, and that’s honestly what he likes more and looks forward to when the opportunity presents itself.
That’s why he was so quick to go there with you. He knows he’s good, knows that he’s going to be able to find a way to make your body respond to his lips and tongue (and even occasionally teeth) very quickly. But that doesn’t mean that when he finds that spot or that pace with you, he’s going to make it quick. Because Dieter likes to savor the finer things in life - and this is one of them. You are one of them.
There’s honestly nothing he likes more than the feeling of your heel digging into his back or your fingers in his hair, or the sounds you make while his tongue’s curling into you - except the way you taste.
He’s had enough experience to have a very informed opinion, and to ensure that you’re going to be satisfied when he finally lifts his head - and you have absolutely no complaints. Dieter knows what he’s doing, and you’re thankful for everyone that came before you because it means that you get to reap every single benefit - hopefully for a lot longer than any of them.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Again, this depends on his mood - and his partner. Dieter doesn’t ever rush though, unless that’s the point (see ‘quickie”) of the sex in the first place.
Dieter doesn’t really like ‘rough’ sex in the traditional sense of actually pushing himself or his partner to the point of pain. He doesn’t mind you pulling his hair or scratching him - and he really likes it when you bite, but he has to be in the mood and it has to be with the right person for it to be prolonged.
When the man finds a rhythm, he finds it, and that usually works out to both of your benefit.
To be completely honest, Dieter’s never really had to seduce anyone, so it’s always just been sort of touch and go and see what works best. He prefers to pace himself. He prefers to read the situation as necessary and world from there. It’s not uncommon for him to start slow, up the pace and then finish out just a little slower, but the truth of the matter is that whatever feels good is what he’s going to do. And if you’re beneath him, urging him to move faster, or rocking your hips into him at a pace he hasn’t set? If you’re bouncing on top of him and you want it harder? He’s not going to deny you.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Quickies aren’t top on his list, but Dieter’s no stranger to them, and even though there are a couple that are memorable for him, the one that stands out the most is the two of you at the Golden Globes the year he won for his role as Billy Creed.
You chose a dress that specificallygave him easy access. You’d gotten ready in adjoining hotel rooms, keeping your outfit a secret until the last minute, and Dieter hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off of you from the moment he first saw what you’d chosen to wear.
You were flirty with him in the car on the way from the hotel to the venue, but kept your distance - trying not to touch him in a way that would rile him up. Walking the red carpet, you were more handsy, and Dieter wasn’t surprised to find that not only did the press take pictures of him solo, they took them of you solo, too, while he was busy with a few interviews. He loved seeing you handle things in public, loved watching the way that you interacted with everyone around you, and by the time you were inside the hotel, he was beginning to feel the way that he had when you’d gone off on Darren - and then he noticed that the slit on your dress was higher than it had been outside.
He asked you about it in the lounge before you sat, and you shrugged it off, giving him a wink before you moved off to talk to someone - and to get another drink. But then, Dieter noticed that the other side of the dress was also much more open than it had been, and he realized that you were deliberately fucking with him, teasing him with your outfit when there was nothing that either of you could do about it for hours until the show was over.
Except that Dieter had been to that ceremony before, and knew that there were places to go where no one would bother you, and under the guise of showing you around since he’d been there before and you hadn’t, Dieter dragged you off into one of the rooms used by housekeeping - after slipping a large bill into someone’s hand for the privilege and the privacy - and had his way with you.
You only had minutes, and you had to be quiet, neither of you removing a single piece of clothing except to give yourselves access, but long after the night was over, both of you agreed that it was the most exciting experience the two of you had ever had.
Watching the playback of the event, you were shocked to see that when the cameras landed on you during Dieter’s nominated category and then again while he was giving his acceptance speech, you looked no worse for the wear - makeup and hair perfectly in place, dress hanging from your body in the way that it was meant to. His hair was a little less styled than it had been when you’d left the hotel, but that was par for the course… and there were a couple of blogs and fan pages that had some questions about whether or not his lower lip was a little … fuller than usual.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Dieter is more willing to take risks with his life than he is when it comes to having risky sex. He’d rather have people look down on / judge hm for his own choices than label him as someone that’s into public sex or treats his partners like it doesn’t matter if they get exposed.
But as for experimenting? There’s very little he’s unwilling to try - at least once, especially if you ask nicely - or if he knows you’re down for it - and you’re able to do it in private.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Sober, Dieter’s good for longer encounters. It’s not uncommon for him to spend a lot of time with foreplay - either performing or receiving, and while sometimes the foreplay causes him to come a little too soon for his liking, he’s definitely up for a 2nd round as soon as it’s physically possible.
And it really depends on how turned on he is as to how long he can last, as well as what his partner’s doing. He can prolong it - that’s the good thing about being an actor; he’s learned to focus on not getting off during intimate scenes (even when they’re decidedly unsexy, sometimes his body reacts), which means that he can hold himself back when he wants to make sure he doesn’t blow it right away.
His record is five times in one night without more than a short break, but that was when he was younger - and now that he’s older, and his body’s a little less youthful, it’s maybe 2-3 on a good night? But that won’t ever stop him from making you come as many times as he can without physically hurting you.
And as for how long does he last? I’d say on average, it ranges between 15 - 20 minutes. Not too fast, not too slow, and it definitely gets longer when you switch positions or take some time to slow down and savor things.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Dieter does own toys, and he knows you do, too. You’re well aware that he’d been with both women and men in the past, and even though it’s something that you talk about with him, you never pry - and that includes not asking him about the things he’s done with other partners. You know that if he wants to, he’ll tell you about the things he’s done and liked, or the things that he’d want to try with you - and he did - slowly, over the course of the time you spent together.
For example, one of the things you find in Dieter’s bathroom drawer while you’re in the hotel together is this (https://www.lelo.com/f1s-v2). It doesn’t surprise you - but the fact that he really likes using the app does.He was in the bathroom with you when you found it, and since none of your previous partners had ever used anything like it on themselves, Dieter had no problem demonstrating. He prefers the real thing, of course, but with the beginning of the pandemic keeping him isolated, he had to find somethingthat was going to be a little different every time, and the other available options in his arsenal weren’t cutting it.
Fun fact: When he left London, he told you to download the app and gave you his log in information so that when/if he wanted to use it and you were available, you could control it. That led to a bunch of really fun phone calls and FaceTime conversations in the months you were apart.
You do have a few toys of your own - and youdefinitely brought one of them with you to London, but after meeting Dieter, you didn’t use it the entire time you were stuck in the hotel. You didn’t need to.
But the one toy that both of you are interested in? The replica of Dieter that you make from the “Clone A Willy” kit you won at a bachelorette party.
You brought it up to him as a joke, thinking he wouldn’t want to have a silicone version of his own dick out there, but the man’s eyes practically lit up when he asked what was in the gift bag your brought home.
And then you read the directions to him, just because they were on the package. You also had to open the package just to see how strong the vibrator insert was. And from there, it was only natural to want to know if the tube was large enough to fit around him while he was fully hard. And I mean, Dieter needed to know if he could stay hard for four minutes while the mold mix started to solidify around him. After you let it get completely set overnight, the only logical thing to do was mix and pour the silicone … and then set it on a shelf until the 24 hour period had passed.
It was a strange thing for him to see a replica - a life size replica - of himself in your hand… and then in his own, but he had to admit that it felt like him, even though it was cold. It felt like him even though it was a little too firm. You’d made a joke while you watched him turn it over in his palms, about how now whenever someone told him to go fuck himself, he technically could, and Dieter lost it, laughing so hard that tears leaked from his eyes.
He never used it - but you did, Dieter watching the first time just to see your reaction and glowing with pride at the fact that even though you said it felt like him, the fact that it wasn’t the real thing made it less satisfying, especially with him right there. After that, he knew that whenever he was gone on a shoot or a trip, or you were filming in a location that he couldn’t make it to, it was almost like he was there… and that was enough to tide both of you over until you made it back under the same roof again.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Dieter actually isn’t too much of a tease. He likes to get down to business, and so he’s pretty straight to the point. But he has a good sense of humor, and teasing during the act is something else entirely, especially the longer you know each other.
He doesn’t tease with his body, though, and Dieter doesn’t see extended foreplay as another form of teasing; he just sees it as a build up. He won’t ever withhold sex from you, even when you’re fighting or he’s in a bad mood.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Dieter himself isn’t super loud. He moans and groans and grunts and swears, but he’s not a screamer. He’s not a yeller, and he doesn’t like it when people exaggerate the noises they make during sex because it feels false.
The first night he was with you, though, he could tell that your reactions were genuine - that you were being loud because he was making you loud, that it was a natural reaction to what the two of you were doing and not attempting to impress him.
He’s not always a talker, but there are moments - when it’s been a while, when he’s had a stressful day, when he has an overwhelming feeling of affection for someone - where he can’t seem to shut up, but the words aren’t always coherent. They’re often just the man mumbling random phrases into your ear as the two of you move, or him speaking into your chest as he kisses his way up or down your body.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Dieter’s had a lot of less than spectacular sex, but there’s only one instance that he counts as downright bad.
It was when he was younger - late 20’s, fresh off of a successful movie debut, and he’d been out on a couple dates with a woman - someone that he’d met at the premiere that was getting ready for a film debut of her own - that had gone well, which meant that it was moving toward sex. Well, long story short … the sex was bad. Not because either of them were too out of it to enjoy it, but because the girl got violentlyill in the bed - and all over Dieter - only a few minutes into things.
And it wasn’t the fact that she got sick - because Dieter understood that sometimes things happen … it was that the woman wanted to pretend like nothing had happened and keep going in the pukey bed without even pausing to clean up or remove the sheets. She saw nothing wrong with it - just wanted to fuck - and Dieter has never noped out of a situation or blocked someone’s number faster.
It’s made him very aware of the way he feels when he goes to bed with
someone - and it’s why if he feels even the littlest bit like he’s going to be sick, he won’t let things go that far, because he doesn’t want to embarrass himself. (When he was with you in the hotel right before he got sick, he didn’t feel pukey at all, just overheated and tired… maybe a little sore. He was NOT about to risk that type of humiliation with you).
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
We already know that Dieter was kind of a shock for you the first time you saw him. He’s thick - your fingers don’t wrap entirely around him, even if it’s just your thumb and middle finger, and after you’ve had your mouth on him for extended periods, your jaw sometimes aches. He’s long, too - just about 7 inches (maybe slightly more) when he’s fully hard.
There’s no curve to him - he’s perfectly straight, and you love looking at him when he’s heavy against his lower belly, or when you can see the tip of him peeking out over his fist. His balls are average size and shape, too.
Dieter prefers to wear clothes that sort of hide himself, so when you first see him in a suit / dressed up, it’s kind of a shock, especially when he reacts to the wayyou’re dressed, and can’t 100% keep himself from reacting. It’s obvious that he’s big when he’s wearing fitted jeans or tailored pants, especially when they’re a lighter, solid color.
Bonus X = X-Appeal (do they have sex appeal?)
If you ask Dieter, he doesn’t have sex appeal, he just has people that want to have sex with him because he’s Dieter Bravo and he has a reputation for giving people what they need and want. He doesn’t think he’s bad looking, but he knows that he’s not young anymore, knows that his attitude and his presented appearance are going to be a turn off for a lot of people.
But for you - and millions of other men and women all over the world?
You’d tell him he was wrong without even batting an eye.
He’s sexy in a confident way - which he presents in interviews. You sort of like the aloof attitude, like the snark. You like the way that he seems comfortable and confident in his own skin (even though you realized very quickly that it wasn’t 100% true to his actual behavior or personality).
He’s sexy to look at in a real way. He isn’t overly muscled, doesn’t spend hours on his appearance to give himself a specific look - and you like the fact that he isn’t afraid to be photographed in a pair of loose jeans and a t shirt, or a stretched out cardigan and some sandals.
Dieter’s looks, though? You think he’s only gotten better looking with age. Yes, he was always attractive with deep, soulful brown eyes and a thick head of hair, but as he got older, his face filled out - the flecks of gray that show up in his beard and hair are real, and indications of the fact that he’s not trying to hide the aging process. You think this is sexy as hell, and tell him often, because you know he needs to hear it.
He’s not lazy, but he’s also not going to spend two hours a day in the gym, and while his waist is slim, he’s got a little bit of a belly whenever he’s relaxing between projects (or on the set of Cliff Beasts, because the character really didn’t need to be in peak physical condition). He’s healthy but not toofit, and it suits him.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Dieter fucking loves sex, and he won’t hesitate to tell you that or try to initiate. He has a high sex drive, but he can go without it when necessary. He did just that during the pandemic, because he was afraid of getting sick, but the first time he slept with someone (a little over a month before leaving for London) after months of not?It made him realize the benefit of waiting - because even though it was just a random hookup in the sense that there wasn’t an actual relationship with the person, he enjoyed himself immensely.And it was different than it had been for him when he was just having endless amounts of sex (with different people or one person, in the case of his short term relationships and Mara) - which is why, by the time the two of you went to bed for the first time in the hotel, he was more than ready for another encounter … because it had been weeks of only his hand or his devices.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
It depends. Sometimes, Dieter just falls asleep, especially if he’s been drinking - or has been using. Weed makes him very sleepy, especially when he smokes a lot at once. (He didn’t in London, because most of the times he smoked it was social, and not by himself), and so if you have sex while he’s high on weed, he’s out only a few minutes later and it’s pretty much a given.
But other drugs and alcohol mixed don’t tend to have the same effect, instead helping him to stay awake, even though being awake doesn’t always mean talking to the person (people) he’s in bed with - it might mean going back to the party, or going out in the first place.
But sober Dieter? That all depends on how worn out he is. He likes laying next to you and talking. He likes watching you fall asleep, feeling you relax next to him or in his arms. He also likes knowing that if he does fall asleep quickly, you won’t hold it against him - you won’t force conversation or try to force him to stay awake.
Dieter knows that after sex is a time for people to be open with each other, and so he’s usually pretty careful about what he admits in whatever conversation he has before he ends up drifting off, no matter how long it happens to take.
Rating: M There’s mention of what happened to Dieter, but not in detail. Language. Alcohol. Talk of sex.
Summary:Dieter has a gift for you less than two days before he’s set to leave England … what is it? And what does it mean? And after you find out - how will the two of you begin your last weekend together for months?
Author’s note:
This one has been a while coming - and I hope that all of you are just as excited to figure out what Dieter’s gift is *now* as you were before. Thank you for being patient with me - and thank you so much for the support on this story.
He led you out onto the balcony after you’d put a pair of shoes and your own robe on. Even though it was chilly, it made sense for the two of you to go outside and continue the conversation. This is where we first really talked. The two of you remained behind the short wall, blocking some of the breeze, but Dieter pulled the chairs back from the railing, arranging them to face each other. He’s nervous. You could see the look on his face - the man’s expression determined, and while you had a ton of questions for him, you decided not to ask, instead waiting for him to speak again and steer the conversation.
