I’m sure every parent wishes they had the superpower of making all instruments of violence suddenly 350 degrees to make their kids drop them, right?
The answer to that is obviously no, because 350 degrees is seriously hot (even assuming the Organians work in the illogical Fahrenheit for some reason). We’re talking oven or curling iron burns. You can get an instant 1st degree burn from water at a mere 150F, so this seems excessive. Of course, like all good superadvanced aliens, the Organians have evolved beyond the inconvenience of bodies, so I guess they’ve forgotten about skin and nerves and stuff.
The part I’m really concerned about is even their bodies are suddenly 350 degrees? I assume this is some sort of magic that radiates outwards without affecting their skin, because otherwise Bones is going to be dealing with some very messy all-over 3rd degree burns.
I’m also very curious about the definition of “instruments of violence” and the necessity of making this affect the entire planet. It’s even shown to affect the Enterprise in orbit around the planet. So somewhere, was someone idly chopping vegetables for dinner when they suddenly received serious burns from their kitchen knife?
The Organians may be super-advanced, but they’re also assholes.
One time in college, I flew to visit my friend in another country during reading week (the week before finals that you’re supposed to spend studying). I was set to come back to school the night before my final, which I thought was a take-home final. On the last day of my visit, we went out and got really drunk (her fault… probably). Next day, I drag my hungover ass to the airport in total agony, get to my gate, sit down, open my laptop to study for the first time and realize that I had been mistaken. My final the next day was in class. Not take home. And I had not studied at all. And I was too hungover to function. Well, I thought, I guess failing isn’t the worst thing in the world.There’s a first time for everything.
My flight was delayed, and I ended up not getting home until 9pm. Still hungover, I begrudgingly stayed up most of the night trying to scrape together what I could in hopes of pulling off a miracle. After all, I’d spent years honing my procrastination craft. Don’t fail me now!
I went in the next morning aggressively ignoring my classmates. The last thing I wanted to hear was how hard they had been studying. The professor passed out the exam, and as I flipped through it I realized, holy crap, I can do this! I don’t know how I am possibly about to get away with this, but I am!
As I walked out, I heard a few classmates remark how hard they thought the exam was. I couldn’t believe it. I ended up getting an A- and my favorite story of my entire academic career. Thank god for my insane BS-ing skills.
So, since I’m procrastinating right now, what are your best procrastination stories?
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