#expatlife

After spending two weeks back in the States, about ten days in Indiana, where I grew up, and a few days in New York, where I went to university,  I’ve gotten the pleasure of working from home (in Abu Dhabi) for a week.  All of this “home” time has made me think about the different locations I’ve been lucky enough to call “home”, the lessons I’ve learned while there, and what I think I will learn, or reflect on, in the future.

Indiana: 

Family and old friends are forever: Family members are the most different people I will ever feel the exact same as, and the best of old friends will always be connected to you because they will always care.  We live completely separate lives, often times have very separate views, but our foundations are shared.

Ambiguity: No matter how hard anyone tries, people will always judge one another, whether it is positively or negatively.  But in Indiana my set of cards and how they play out in my life, are almost entirely unknown to everyone.  Most people don’t even know where Abu Dhabi is, what management consultants do, nor would they be able to relate to most aspects of my everyday life (past or present).  This leads both to a disconnect, which can be sad, but also forces them to see me stripped of all those titles and just see me as me- good or bad.   (though yes, I’ll always be a white, male, who grew up well-off, which obviously means a lot)

Indiana = check: Coming into this vacation I thought it would be the last time (at least in long while) that I would spend more than a week in Indiana, and now I’m even more sure that is so. I think the lessons I learned this time around would only repeat themselves- in the future I’ll have grown and maybe need something new to learn from there, but now I feel content- or at least I think there are other things to do.  Separate from this feeling though is my love for my family (who I speak to everyday and will continue to see, though maybe I’ll push more for opportunities to see them other places).  Overall, I get a bit disheartened being there- there is a feeling of little drive and opportunity, and even the people who do have one or both, often steer themselves in directions that I don’t care to learn from (or, as said before, think I could learn more quickly or deeply somewhere else).  

New York:

You need your best friends: Without even expecting it, most of my best friends from boarding school were all in the city at the same time!  This was amazing for me as most of them I hadn’t seen in two or more years.  It’s so weird that now we’ve known each other for nearly 1/3 of our lives, and it is a wonderful point to meet because we are all finishing school and moving on to incredible adventures.  I can tell these friends everything and anything and I appreciate their input in all aspects of my life and work.  It’s great to not be getting to know people, but just to straight up know them.

The best city in the world: New York is honestly just so special, and I love that I know my way around and feel so comfortable in a place like that. It’s also inspiring to see a place with so many different kinds of people getting along, all being successful, and just the pulse of the place, the innovation, the ideas, the motion- there is no place like it and I’m proud to have experienced it and know I will be back often, maybe even to live, but…

I could not live there now:  At this point in my life I could not live in the city.  There are incredible advantages, but the city eats you up.  Especially being a young professional now, I know New York would destroy me.  Speaking of the “cards” above, being in New York is like constantly playing poker.  It’s a strange balance between presenting your cards so people understand you, but being scared to do so because you know they will really just understand you in the terms they want to.  Furthermore, it’s almost disgusting the way people play their cards trying to make others like them- it’s all just not a game I want to play.  But I know I would, If I lived there now, I would sacrifice really developing myself for developing myself in other people’s eyes. 

Abu Dhabi:

Focusing on me / where I want to be: Picking to live in Abu Dhabi was a bit of social suicide (on a scale of the places I considered for post-grad: from New York being the most social, Dubai in the middle, and Abu Dhabi the least).  But I knew that coming in, and I picked it because I wanted time to focus on me.  I like Abu Dhabi because I do have many friends here, so I can be social when I want, but it isn’t a place where I feel like I must constantly be seeing people.  I’m able to do what is best for me and to become who I want to be- every day I read, pray, work out, dance, play the piano, and (maybe more in the future) write.   I’m growing professionally, intellectually, spiritually, physically, and working on the skills I want to have.  I don’t think that anywhere else I could do all of these things so much and also live so comfortably.  Sure it is really hot, but for the same price as a dinky thing in NYC, I have three balconies and two bathrooms for myself, I can have a handy man, maid, or cab ride for cheaper than almost anywhere, and the luxuries both in the Emriates, and the fact that we are so centrally located for travel- make this an ideal location!  I’m so happy here in Abu Dhabi.

Realizing the downfalls and the limits: Though I’m happy here now, I imagine my needs changing and thus moving, both because of the socio-political environment and because of the impact I want to make on the world.

Overall, I’m happy for all of the perspective I have gained from the past few weeks of being in my different homes.  It was great to think through the three of them and know how much I have grown and learned from each and to feel confident that I’ve been where I need to be, am where I need to be, and will continue to be for the future!

When you hear the words South of France your first thought is probably dollar signs on dollar signs. From luxury yachts to wine vineyards, the French Riviera evokes a certain level of opulence with which your wallet is not familiar.

Trust me, I understand. I was discouraged from even trying at first but I had been dying to visit the beautiful Azure Coast and was NOT going to let my pitiful bank account stop me. Where there is a will, there is a financially feasible way. The three biggest expenses within any trip is transportation, housing, and leisure. Even if you have no plans to go to the South of France, this guide will help you budget on any trip. 

Transportation

1. Getting There & Back

There’s an app called Rome2Riothat gives you the full play by play on the cost of going from point A to B by plane, trains, and other automobiles. It’s a great starting point. Once you’ve narrowed down your cheapest options, you can buy your tickets right from the site.

At this stage of my life, I value price over convenience. While an hour plane ride sounds lovely, 200 euros does not. I ended up finding a 15 euro Megabus to Marseille. Yes it was a grueling 11 hours…BUT luckily we chose an overnight bus. We left at 10pm and arrived to the beautiful sunny port city at 9am the next day. Not a bad way to wake up.

For the way back, I knew my patience for another 11 hour bus ride would be thin so I decided to spend a little more money on a faster route. I found another online app called KelBillet, where people can sell and buy unused train and bus tickets. It’s a very reliable app where vendors must be verified before posting their tickets to avoid scams. I found a girl desperately trying to sell her originally 70 euro train ticket for half the price. Winning!After traveling all week, a cheap 3 hour high speed train was perfect.

2. Local Transport

So you’re in your travel destination, HOW do you get around without paying crazy expensive taxi fares? No matter what city I travel to, I make use of two very important modes of transportation: the bus and my own damn two feet.

Let’s talk about buses. It’s become increasingly popular to use those Hop On, Hop Off tourist vehicles and while I see the appeal, they are just totally unnecessary. Why spend 40 euros to sight see when you can catch a local bus for 2 euros. It may seem scary but you will see more of the authentic, less touristy parts of town and you will become incredibly familiar with the city.

But the absolute BEST way to travel cheap is to walk. Crazy idea right? Most European cities are very pedestrian friendly. You can spend a day strolling leisurely from one historical monument to the next. You never know what you might stumble upon. A gorgeous field of lavenders, a quaint restaurant that sells regional cuisine, or a hip bar for when happy hour strikes. Walking around a city is the best way to feel within the city. So if you’re physically able and the weather permits, I highly recommend making it your main mode of transportation.

Side tip: I didn’t do this, but bike renting is another very popular option.

3. Short Distance Travel

While our main destination was Marseille, there where other small sea towns we wanted to visit only within an hour distance. We went to Cassis to visit the amazing Calanques (seen below). From Marseille it was very easy. Our hostel told us about a 30-minute shuttle that would take us there for a whopping ONE EURO! If you are ever in the Southeast of France I highly suggest you take the time to see this beautiful treasure. 

We visited the ancient city of Arles by using BlaBlacar.This ridesharing app is basically AirBnB for cars. You find someone that is going the same direction as you and you pitch in for gas. Depending on how far you are going, you can pay as little as 5 euros. It’s not only a great, cheap option, but it gives you a chance to converse with locals!

Housing

For the most part, I love using AirBnB. It’s becoming increasingly popular over the past few years and understandably so. Hostels are crowded and hotels lack personality. I always check this website first but if the prices aren’t to my liking then to Hostelworld.com I go. Honestly, I don’t love hostels. Sharing a room with 8 other 20-something strangers makes me feel like I’m at some drunk summer camp for adults. But its crazy affordable. And who knows, you might even meet some buddies to explore the city with. In general, all you need is a place to lay your head comfortably at night. My only requirements are that it has free breakfast and WiFi (: 

For the first few days, we stayed in a hostel but as funds were getting low we decided to take a less conventional route: Couchsurfing. If you’re not familiar, couch-surfing is when you stay at another person’s house for free. Yes, you heard me: FREE! How is this possible? What’s the catch?? Well, there isn’t any. There are some people in this world that feed off of being hospitable to strangers for the sake of cultural exchange. And ask for nothing in return but respect, trust, and a positive attitude. (Although, its nice to bring them a little something-something as a token of gratitude). 

I’ll be honest, I was VERY skeptical of this option. But here is the personal criteria I follow to ensure a safe experience.

1. I prefer to stay with other women my age. 
2. I only look at verified hosts with fully filled out profiles with at least 20 positive reviews. 
3. Be skeptical of hosts that are NOT selective of their guests. You don’t want someone that just lets anyone in their home. 
   

Using my personal criteria, I had a very positive couchsurfing experience. Our host was absolutely awesome, overwhelmingly generous, and gave us great advice on how best to spend our time in the city. Of course you can create your own criteria, but only do what is comfortable for you. 

Leisure Activities

This could arguably become the most expensive part of your trip but it’s also the one you have the most financial control. For vacation, I always take out cash and refrain from using my debit or credit cards. This allows me to stay in my budget as well as physically keep track of my spending.

1. Food and Drinks

If you follow my advice from housing, breakfast is already taken care of. But for lunch and dinner you have to be careful not to spend 20 euros per meal. Many restaurants in France do lunchtime deals where you can get a lot for a low price. My friend and I took serious advantage of this. Therefore dinner always became grab something small and inexpensive.

For drinks, you can utilize happy hour to the best of your ability but honestly you don’t always need to buy from the bar! It may feel classier to drink un verre du vin at a restaurant overlooking the sea but try just buying a bottle from a supermarket and drink it on the beach with your toes in the sand, watching the sunset over clear blue waves. It’s more memorable that way. 

2. Activities

They say the best things in life are free. Depending on the city, this may be easier said than done. But before you travel always look up a list of inexpensive or practically free activities. For larger cities you can use Timeout. But for smaller cities its best to just ask the locals for advice. Locals know best after all. 

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So there you have it. In conclusion, traveling on a budget is more feasible than you realize. All it takes is serious financial control and proper planning. Because of our extreme budgeting, we were able to see this…

and this, 

and this,  

and this. 

Happy Traveling!