#evansville

After spending two weeks back in the States, about ten days in Indiana, where I grew up, and a few days in New York, where I went to university,  I’ve gotten the pleasure of working from home (in Abu Dhabi) for a week.  All of this “home” time has made me think about the different locations I’ve been lucky enough to call “home”, the lessons I’ve learned while there, and what I think I will learn, or reflect on, in the future.

Indiana: 

Family and old friends are forever: Family members are the most different people I will ever feel the exact same as, and the best of old friends will always be connected to you because they will always care.  We live completely separate lives, often times have very separate views, but our foundations are shared.

Ambiguity: No matter how hard anyone tries, people will always judge one another, whether it is positively or negatively.  But in Indiana my set of cards and how they play out in my life, are almost entirely unknown to everyone.  Most people don’t even know where Abu Dhabi is, what management consultants do, nor would they be able to relate to most aspects of my everyday life (past or present).  This leads both to a disconnect, which can be sad, but also forces them to see me stripped of all those titles and just see me as me- good or bad.   (though yes, I’ll always be a white, male, who grew up well-off, which obviously means a lot)

Indiana = check: Coming into this vacation I thought it would be the last time (at least in long while) that I would spend more than a week in Indiana, and now I’m even more sure that is so. I think the lessons I learned this time around would only repeat themselves- in the future I’ll have grown and maybe need something new to learn from there, but now I feel content- or at least I think there are other things to do.  Separate from this feeling though is my love for my family (who I speak to everyday and will continue to see, though maybe I’ll push more for opportunities to see them other places).  Overall, I get a bit disheartened being there- there is a feeling of little drive and opportunity, and even the people who do have one or both, often steer themselves in directions that I don’t care to learn from (or, as said before, think I could learn more quickly or deeply somewhere else).  

New York:

You need your best friends: Without even expecting it, most of my best friends from boarding school were all in the city at the same time!  This was amazing for me as most of them I hadn’t seen in two or more years.  It’s so weird that now we’ve known each other for nearly 1/3 of our lives, and it is a wonderful point to meet because we are all finishing school and moving on to incredible adventures.  I can tell these friends everything and anything and I appreciate their input in all aspects of my life and work.  It’s great to not be getting to know people, but just to straight up know them.

The best city in the world: New York is honestly just so special, and I love that I know my way around and feel so comfortable in a place like that. It’s also inspiring to see a place with so many different kinds of people getting along, all being successful, and just the pulse of the place, the innovation, the ideas, the motion- there is no place like it and I’m proud to have experienced it and know I will be back often, maybe even to live, but…

I could not live there now:  At this point in my life I could not live in the city.  There are incredible advantages, but the city eats you up.  Especially being a young professional now, I know New York would destroy me.  Speaking of the “cards” above, being in New York is like constantly playing poker.  It’s a strange balance between presenting your cards so people understand you, but being scared to do so because you know they will really just understand you in the terms they want to.  Furthermore, it’s almost disgusting the way people play their cards trying to make others like them- it’s all just not a game I want to play.  But I know I would, If I lived there now, I would sacrifice really developing myself for developing myself in other people’s eyes. 

Abu Dhabi:

Focusing on me / where I want to be: Picking to live in Abu Dhabi was a bit of social suicide (on a scale of the places I considered for post-grad: from New York being the most social, Dubai in the middle, and Abu Dhabi the least).  But I knew that coming in, and I picked it because I wanted time to focus on me.  I like Abu Dhabi because I do have many friends here, so I can be social when I want, but it isn’t a place where I feel like I must constantly be seeing people.  I’m able to do what is best for me and to become who I want to be- every day I read, pray, work out, dance, play the piano, and (maybe more in the future) write.   I’m growing professionally, intellectually, spiritually, physically, and working on the skills I want to have.  I don’t think that anywhere else I could do all of these things so much and also live so comfortably.  Sure it is really hot, but for the same price as a dinky thing in NYC, I have three balconies and two bathrooms for myself, I can have a handy man, maid, or cab ride for cheaper than almost anywhere, and the luxuries both in the Emriates, and the fact that we are so centrally located for travel- make this an ideal location!  I’m so happy here in Abu Dhabi.

Realizing the downfalls and the limits: Though I’m happy here now, I imagine my needs changing and thus moving, both because of the socio-political environment and because of the impact I want to make on the world.

Overall, I’m happy for all of the perspective I have gained from the past few weeks of being in my different homes.  It was great to think through the three of them and know how much I have grown and learned from each and to feel confident that I’ve been where I need to be, am where I need to be, and will continue to be for the future!