#favorite posts

lunasilverpelt:

thespamman24:

carnivorous-jester:

thespamman24:

groovy-rat-man:

thespamman24:

thespamman24:

Saw trap where you have to stand in a room and hold a baby. That’s it.

You can not put the baby down.

ezpz

Oh you think that’s easy? There’s also a very yummy looking brownie but you can’t pick it up while you’re holding the baby.

Grab brownie with mouth, share tiny bite with baby. Joy.

The brownie is under a glass case. You can not lift the case with your mouth. You need to use two hands. (hands, not feet). You can not use the babys hands-they are too small.

Also, babies can’t eat chocolate.

Who the hell made up these rules

i smash the glass and eat the brownies regardless of any glass shards that may now be in them

catsudeku:

hell-propaganda:

hell-propaganda:

hell-propaganda:

All ten of my followers are actually hostages I have tied up in an abandoned grain silo & am monologuing to

thank you hostage #3

Never before has the world seen such well behaved and cooperative hostages

this is great i’m gonna get a good grade in hostage

eldritch-bard:

The best picture I have ever taken of my cat

kikml2:

dduane:

memewhore:

(snicker)

coffeepeople:

I find it endlessly fascinating that most humans just want someone who will get up in the middle of the night to close the windows with them when it starts down pouring. We want someone to dry our dishes after we wash them. We just want another person to do mundane activities with. We want to tell someone how the copy machine broke at work and we want to listen to how Debra is causing office drama again. We just want something so simple. We want human connection and honesty and to be bored with someone else instead of bored alone. 

meganwhalenturner:

The first time you read The Thief: A penniless thief is let out of prison in order to be forced on a road trip and he really just wants to go home.

The second time you read The Thief: In the most ingenious move of political intrigue of the millennium, a penniless thief is let out of prison in order to be forced on a road trip and he really just wants to go home.

bbc03undercover:

honeybruh:

zamzamafterzina:

Now that i think about it, if avengers and the mcu took place in the 90s who would eddie murphy play? like there is no way he’d play a supporting character esp to a white guy in the 90s….hmmm he’d probably audition and try hard for t’challa, but they’d probably give him blue marvel…but that character didn’t exist in the 90s…and there is no way he’d play Hiemdall lmao.

I literally just passed this when I was on imgur

I’m dumbfounded by how on point this is?

vvahlee:

super-affection:

cerastes:

super-affection:

do you think she could float in that cup?

With gear like that? Absolutely…

emergency-broadcast-system:

that-one-dude:

curioscurio:

imposter syndrome hitting hard today lads

@curioscurio

spectral-musette:

Anakin and Padme in a Tam Lin AU for @the-far-bright-center

(because sometimes you just really wish RotS ended with Padme breaking the Wicked Spell on her Enchanted Knight)

adelphicoracle:

rainbowninja:

I have yeeted
the mirror
that was on
your wall

and which
you were probably
hoping
to shave with

Forgive me
it is a foul bauble
of man’s
vanity

My nam is Drac

And when I see

A mirrer not reflecting me

I screm and toss it

To the grass

That bauble’s gone

I yeet the glass

lacrimalis:

fernlom:

sleepy-bebby:

Num Num Cat TikTok Chain

ohhhh that finish

you guys have NO idea how frustrated i am knowing those finisher lyrics are ORIGINAL FOR THIS TIKTOK and i CANT listen to this 20s speakeasy lounge sounding ass motherfucker just spit lyrical subjugation for whole albums at a time

Humanity at its best