Note: It took a while with this chapter but here it is ! I hope you enjoy
…
We arrived to the hospital in rush and the paramedics wheeled Filip into the building. I tried to stay focused and tried to stay on their pace, but it was hard since my thoughts were flying all over the place. All I could feel was this never ending feeling of worry towards my boyfriend who was fightning for his life.
Since we arrived and doctors rushed to us and paramedics started to explain the situation i felt hand on my shoulder that started gently pulling me away. I turned my gaze towards young nurse at my left who was pulling me away.
“Let them do they work, theres no need for you right now”, she said.
I turned my gaze back to Filip who was taken to one of the rooms in rush.
Tig walked beside me “C'moon doll..let’s let them work on him in peace, okay ?” I nodded slowly and Tig walked with me to sit on chairs in waiting room.
We sat there silently watching peoples walk past as at the hallway. Minute after minute and hour after hour. Those were the slowest minutes of my entire life. And those minutes turned into hours.
As i sat there. My head on Tig’s shoulder who was sitting at my right side . Also was snoring his head of. Juice had appeared from somewhere and was sitting beside me also with closed eyes. Jax was sitting at the other side of the hallway. Pacing and then again sitting down. Why was it taking so long ? Was he even alive anymore ? No one told us anything. I was begin to worry for real.
As the time went by i started to think about everything. I was playing those words in my head over and over again. ”Marry me…” was it just the moment ? Or did Chibs really mean that. I wasn’t sure if I would even be ready for that. What if Chibs doesn’t make it ? What if he doesn’t want it when he wakes up ?
I started to think about the time I met him. It was one of those sunny days of the summer and what a surprise my car broke down. It might sound like one of those cheesy love stories. Knight in shining armor coming to rescue. At this case more like in leather.
*2 years ago*
I was standing on the side of the road. I got flat tire. Just my luck that it broke when i was in the middle of nowhere. And there he came. My saving angel . I first didn’t notice him, thought it was just one of those biker guys riding past. But he pulled to the side of the road killing the engine. He climbed of his bike and took his helmet off. That’s when i turned my gaze to my savier. And my god if i said he didn’t look good to my eye. That brown hair. The way he walked. Full of confidence. I felt kinda safe when he walked to me which was weird, considering that he was completely stranger and i couldn’t know what he wanted from me. What if he would be an rapist or murderer.
I would know that as soon as he opened his mouth. I was a goner. That accent was so beautiful, i couldn’t place where it would be from. Britihs i was sure. He asked what was wrong with my car and if he could help me. He set to work by taking out my spare tire and other needed tools from the back of my car. I watched as he took of his cut and leather jacket setting them aside and started to work on my car.
After he was done and gathering things back to my car including the flat tire he was putting back on his jacket shaking his hair out of his face. I felt that i was just staring at him dumbly. Finally i got word out of my mouth
“What am I indebted to you ?” I asked with a sigh
“Nothin’ darlin”, he said with a light chuckle and a smile playing on his lips “Just happy to help lady in distress”
I couldn’t let him just go , not yet.
“There must be something..let my buy you a coffee or something ?” I asked hopefully to spend more time with him
He thought it over for a minute and gave in “okay. Just a cup then”, he said and walked back to his bike.
We drove to the closest gasole station and parked near to each other. We walked inside the shop and i paid his coffee. He drank it too fastly for my likeing. It meant that our roads will separated as we walked back outside to our vehicles. I rised my gaze back to his with a slight amile. Trying not to show my dissapointment when he was walking back to his bike while lightning chigaret.
“Well I got to get going…”, he said while looking at the ground near his boots
I nodded slightly “Ride safely”, i said. It sounded dumb to me.
“You too”, he smiled and sat on his bike
“Oh, you better get that tire fixed though”, he said as he was buckling his helmet.
“Yeah I try to remember”, i smiled as I walked to my car door.
As his black motorcycle roared back to life I remember that I didn’t even ask his name. I was about to open my mouth but he took off already. I sighed and opened my car door. I bet I wasn’t ever going to see my hero ever again.
I hopped back inside my car starting it up and driving to the direction of the town I would soon call my new home. Charming. It was charming little town indeed.
After few weeks from moving to my new rental home at Charming happened something I wouldn’t even believe to be true. After my work shift at library I was doing my day grocery shopping and there he was. My savior from two weeks ago. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Did he really live here in Charming ? My dreams and thought’s had been busy with thinking about him and and here he was in front of me.
*He probably doesn’t even remember me*, I thought while watching him observe the line of microwave foods.
I decided to try my luck and took deep breath while walking towards him.
*Note: This is just something i wroted back in summer and I tried to fix it a little bit and I decided to post it ;), Let me know if someone is interested for part 2 !
They say that your whole life flashes before your eyes when you die, but for me there wasn’t anything. Just endless darkness that felt overwhelming. Was I even dead ?
I opened my eyes slowly taking in the surroundings. My ears were ringing so i didn’t hear anything. Only that annoying high pitched noice in my head that just couldn’t shut itself.
I lowered my eyes and i saw my blood soaked yellow T-shirt. I started to breath faster and i clutched my hands to my bloody wet shirt. Was i injured ?!
I didn’t feel any pain and i sighed i reliefe when i realised i wasn’t hurt. Wait. Whos blood this is then if it’s not mine?
I finally lifted my eyes from my hands and i watched silently my surroundings. I was at the TM-auto’s parking lot, behind one of the cars. Thats when i again heard a gunshot and a angry yell of a man. Thats when i turned my head to the left and i saw Tig and Happy hiding behind couple of their bikes that were parked at the nice and clean row in front of metal rail. The two guys both were squating behind the bikes and i saw they had guns in their hands.
Couple gunshots were shot into air towards us and then i heard high sound of tires squealing on the asphalt and more yells. When the guys runned to the gate of the lot shouting something. I took deep breath.
Thats when i heard the low growl from the beside me. I turned my head to the direction of the sound. Thats the moment when i felt everything go into slowmotion and the total shock settled into my guts and made my throath thighten, few tears coming from my eyes.
That growls owner was my old man. Chibs. Chibs was shot. He was half laying and half sitting against the wall of the garage and he was clutching his stomach. Hid gun abandoned near to his legs.
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I just stared at him with wide eyes, with a blurred vision by the tears that were now running down my cheeks. Thats when i finally managed to let high pitched whine left my lips
“FILIP !” I got up stumbling and i fell to my knees besides him.
He was breathing heavily and uneven breaths. He turned his half lidded dark brown eyes to me, those eyes that i loved so much were now just a distant thing. He gave me a small half smile and looked me in the eyes
“are ya okay, lass?… did ya get hurt?” He asked with a raspy and almost like whisper kind of voice. It almost didn’t even sound like him.
That made me cry even harder and i just managed to nod my head. I put my hands over his bloodied ones.
“You got shot ?!” I asked between my sobs
“nah, it’s..s just an scratch”, he said with a snarl and he leaned his head against the wall.
I shaked my head and i yelled help. It didn’t take long when i saw Tig running to us with Jax behind him. I turned my head back to coughing Filip and i saw the blood dripping down from his mouth. I felt pair of hands around me that tried to drag me away from Filip. Tig dropped down to his knees and moved Chibs hands from the wound and his face was serious. Tig put his own hands to apply pressure to that heavily bleeding wound.
“Don’t you dare to die you Scottish bastard you hear me ?!” Tig said with a growl, but didn’t get answer as Chibs was dozing out and his head rolled to the side. Eyes looking into distance.
It was Jax who was holding me and let me lean onto him while i was staring into nothing. I had stopped crying and those tears were now drying to my cheeks. I didn’t hear anything. Only thing that was playing inside my head was the flashback of Chibs shoving me to the behind that car when the shooting started.
*he’s gonna die….he’s gonna die* i repeated to myself.
At the same time Happy was on the phone calling for an ambulance. Chibs was momenterally concious and insisted that he can handle it and didn’t need to go to the hospital ”I can handle it. No..No hospital”. Tig talked something to him and called him an idiot. Thats when Chibs went unconscious again.
The silent and distant sound of sirens were echoing through the small town and woked peoples interest. This town is cursed…really charming indeed…
The guys left me to tend to Chibs for a moment as they talked to each other at the side. I held my hands against Chib’s stomach and I wiped my tears away with my shoulder. Chibs turned his distant eyes to me and smiled slightly.
”hav..have I ever told ya how beautiful you are ??” Chibs slurred to me
I just looked at his restfull face and i couldn’t keep my smile out of my face ”I think you have..”, i chuckled with nervousness
”Marry me..”, he dropped the bomb without a warning.
I watched at his pale face with wide eyes and all the words got caught in my throath and i couldn’t form a word.
When the paramedics came and took care of Chibs and moved him into the ambulance i was standing between Happy and Jax when Jax started to lead me to the ambulance. I watched to him with a shake of my head. I didn’t wanna go there, what if…
I didn’t have time to ask it when Jax gave me sad smile and nodded “he needs you…we are coming behind”, he said silently and i nodded my head slowly. Paramedic helped me to climb into the back of the ambulance and i sat on the pench next to the paramedic who was examining Chibs. I stared at lifeless looking man at the front of me. I grapped carefully his hand that was caked with dryed blood and i bringed it to my lips. I gave a small kiss and i looked at his face with tears rolling down my cheeks again.
*please ,god…don’t take him away from me. Not yet…I need him….*
There it was. Their target. Sitting on a chair back towards the crew, seemingly writing something that made him sigh and rub his forehead. Filip swallowed and his throath felt thight, this was really happening now. No backing down anymore.
*you can do it..c'moon don’t be stupid chicken shite..*, Filip thought .
Finally the group leader moved forward and it was time for action. They catched that guy without him noticing anything. The guy fell of his chair and stumbled on floor trying to get away from us. The blond haired leader catched the back of his jacket and banged the guys face against the hard wooden table.
Filip had taken his gun from back of his jeans and now held it with both hands. His hands shaking and heart beating. Everyone had gathered around there. Few watching out of windows or keeping eye on the doors. When Filip saw the guys face he was shocked. That guy who they were supposed to kill. He wouldn’t be more than a bit over 20 years. Filip swallowed and held his gun lower, biting the inside of his cheek.
“Shoot him”, growled the leader who was standing beside the trembling body.
“DO IT!!” The other one yelled with really annoyed tone.
It was like the whole time stopped in that very place. The only thing that the young boy with a gun heard was his own beating heart. He rised his gun, not shaking anymore. He shot twice that young guy to head and he dropped to the floor while his life was escaping his body. Filip lowered his gun and sighed. He couldn’t believe what he just did. He watched the growing dark puddle of blood that was leaking on the floor. He felt heavy clap on his shoulder, but he couldn’t react.
“Great now let’s get the hell out of here..”, one of the crew members growled until one of the boys runned to the mainroom.
“Lads..we have company”, he said with an scared expression.
“Shit…”, the boss growled when there was sounds coming from the front door “They said that the place will be empty…god, let’s go !!” He yelled and all started to run to the door. But one stayed almost like glued to the floor.
Filip just stood there. Still eyes glued to the body that was laying at his feet. He couldn’t take his eyes away from it, he couldn’t watch away from the mess on the floor. The guilt flowed through him.
“Who the fuck are you?!” Came the voice of an confused and pissed man
Filip rised his gaze finally breaking the spell but too late as the other guy who came from the behind of the guy who spoke. That man had gun in his hand and rised it . Filip didn’t have time to react as the Next thing he felt was the fastly spreading pain at his thigh as the bullet hit his leg. He stumbled down on to the floor, beside the already cold body of their victim’s. He forced himself up from the floor with final glance to the body .
“I’m Sorry”, he mouthed and jolted towards the back door where they came in .
He heard angry shouts and yelling from behind him as the guys discovered their dead friend. They started chasing after him down the streets under the dark and rainy evening.
They say that adrenalin makes you do crazy things. It’s meant to help you survive in dangerous situation. Maybe that and the shock from the pain was driving the young guy forward through the side streets. He didn’t feel the burning pain of the shot wound as he ran as fast as his legs could go. He probably haven’t ever run as fast as he did now.
The only thought that was running through his dead was the voice telling him *murderer*. Why was he so weak. What lead him into this situation.
*? POV*
The rain was still heavily assaulting the city of Belfast as I left my work place in hospital. I was casually driving my car and silently singing along with a song that was coming from the radio at low volume. I was totally in my own world as i started jamming along with the song. My whole day had been hectic and total chaos because of this wet rainy day.
I’m still not used to these rainy days, not even after a half of year of living now in this autumn time Ireland. Yes you heard right. I am not from here. I was born and rised in the United States, I had lived my whole life there. Until that one day when i just wanted to get away and have a fresh start. Change of the scenario as you would say. So I ended up here, in this happy place called Belfast. I moved to live with my aunt who happened to live here and she gave me an offer to come to her place and crash there. I took the offer and soon I found myself from here. No one wouldn’t believe that nor would I had as a kid. After few months of living on my aunts hair i decided to get my own place. I moved to live with my one long term friend who had moved here few years before me. We were almost like sisters before she moved to be closer to her family. Now we lived in the same house like some teenagers.
I started working in the hospital as a nurse. The job that i had went to school for. I think i always wanted to work in medical side. I loved helping peoples it was some sort of calling for me, but sometimes the hard job and being the superhero of the day can suck all your juices away and left you all weary. Like today. From all the days, today everyone chosed to break what ever bone they can break or fall at home and fracture something. Sick elderly people coming to reception just hoping for a chat with someone. There actually never was anything wrong just normal old peoples stuff. The list goes on and on. I was totally ready to get to my bed, pull the blanket over my head and sleep for the next 24 hours. Straight. Not kidding.
As I drived down the dark and dimly lit street, only the cars light illuminating the road with yellow light. I wasn’t prepared that someone would be outside at this time of the night. There wasn’t change for me to react faster than i did as some dark object run straight infront of my car getting hit by me. With a loud thud the dark object fell down onto the street from the force of the car.
I did fast brake and i rised my hands over my mouth. Did I just run over someone ?! All kind of scenarios started to run in my head as I opened the car door and i unbuckled my seatbelt. I hopped out of the car into the cold and wet air as i walked to the front of my car. On the ground there was laying dark clothed person who i assumed to be young man. He was hurriedly trying to get up from the street as i shook my head getting back into this moment.
“Hey, stay down !” I suddenly opened my mouth and the person tried to get up even faster but failed with their attempt. Apperently he was clutching at his leg.
I moved fast squating down and carefully placing my hand on the shaking body on the ground “Hey ? Did you get hurt ?” I asked. I immedietly mentally kicked myself. It was stupid question of course you get hurt when you get hit by a car. Stupid me.
The man still kept trying to get away from me what showed me that he couldn’t be that much hurt. I studied him with my eyes in the light of my car and i saw blood on the street. The blood had to come from him and what ever it was that was bleeding, was bleeding heavily. And when i saw his bloody hands.
“Hey, don’t move you are bleeding..”, i said with a rised voice. I tried my best to stay calm and keep the man on the ground “You need to go to hospital..”, I said as the man suddenly had his attention to me
“No hospital !!!”, he growled at me “They..will find me”, he Whispered almost with inaudible voice. He had an thick accent what was hard to understand. Even for me who was constantly around Irish and british accents. This was different.
I looked at him and then around to our surroundings. Who would find him ? What had this poor man put himself into. What ever it was i wouldn’t liked to be part of that. No i was just an avarage working woman.
I was again snapped out of my thoughts as the man tried once again to get up but fell flat on his stomach on the wet street. Breathing heavily. It was more like huffing than breathing anyways. I needed to do something…it’s my curse as an nurse I swore it in my vow.
Then the light bulp went on my head and i made probably the worst decision what you can make with completely stranger, but it was the only option at this point. I stumbled up from the ground and i sneaked my arms around his torso, getting only a painful grunts and growling from him
“C'moon help me a bit”, i hissed at him and i got him up from the ground and to the backseat of my car we went. Slowly but we made it. After a little of fightning back, he was nicely seated there as buckled him up and i closed the door.
This mysterious man was already drifting from consciousness so i have to go fast. As i was walking around my car i saw dark clothed peoples at the end of the dark alley. I gulped and basically runned fastly to drivers side door and i hopped in . Fastly change gear and started driving forward. Those peoples didn’t have any kind of nice vibe coming from them.
I looked at the backview mirror, and to the mysterious man who was now sitting at the backseat of my car. What the hell i was thinking about ?! Is he dangerous ?? What if those peoples were chasing him and they follow me back to our house . I couldn’t put my finger on those thoughts and my heart kept racing the whole drive back to me and my friends house. As i watched at the rewiev mirror to the man who was hunched at the back seat i had feeling in my heart. I have to help him, I almost just killed him so i have it for him.
He walked along the dimly lit hallway and looked around. It wasn’t anything glorious, really old and poor looking place at the back sides of restless Belfast. Wallpaper or weird looking paint missing from the walls and looked like those had a bit of water damage aswell. The place smelled really badly of mold and old building, and it made his nose to tingle. It Wasn’t anything new for him if he remembered the places where he had lived as a kid at the bad parts of his home town. It was too familiar. The young man kept walking silently down the hallway trying to avoid from making any kind of noices as he heard silent mumbling coming from the very end of the hallway. Curiousity killed the cat but he couldn’t do anything to his nature, he needed to go closer. The sound of the far coming thunder storm and the rain that was assaulting the roof of the building was just a distant sound somewhere as the young man tried to listen what was going on behind that half closed door. He stopped near to the door looking carefully into dim lit room, he saw two male figures. They probably were arguing , because the way they were standing was radiating something bad. Something dangerous. Something what you don’t wanna stick your nose into.
“We can’t trust that bastard”, the voice crowled at the inside of the room with an deep Irish accent. It must belong to the guy that was basically radiaitinh all the bad vibes around.
“And why is that ?” Came other a bit deeper voice, clearly annoyed to the other males presence
“He is not Irish !” The other one growled again “That’s why we can’t trust that Scottish brick !” He rised his voice a bit.
“And that is not your goddamn business, Jimmy ?!”, the older one who had the deeper voice said, “We need more guys, you understand ?! I do it for the cause, what ever if some motherfucker is not irish ! The cause is more important than that, you understand me do ya ?!” He said with a stern voice. The voice rised the young boys neck hair up.
The younger man listened and suddenly his mood was dragged even more down, as long as he listened. He sighed silently and pulled air in and grapped the handle of the door. He exhaled as he knocked to the door and opened the door little. Both man’s eyes shot to him and he suddenly felt really exposed for no reason. His eyes wanted to look anywhere else than to them and in fact he wanted to crawl under the table and hide. Unfortunetly he would not fit under anything in this room. He could run ? Could he ?
“Go back to your work, get out ”, said the older one to the other man whos gaze was burning into the dark haired skinny boy who was standing in front of the door. It was one of those “if looks could kill” - looks. He frowned with an killing gaze, but obeyed the order.
“aye.” , he said dryly, his voice was dripping poison as he nodded to the older man and started to walk towards the door. When he walked past this silent boy he showed him with his shoulder and went out of the door slamming it shut after him.
The older man sighed and rolled his eyes while rubbing his forehead and his gaze fell back to the boy standing beside the door. The boy who was watching his shoes , with head down and fidgetting with his hands.
“Sorry ‘bout that…this weather affects all of us, come sit down mr. Telford.”, he said and showed with hand gesture to the chair in front of his desc as he sat back down to his own chair at the opposite side of the table.
Young so said mr. Telford took a step closer to the chair and waited before the older man sat down. Some things that his lovely mother had thaught him. He sat down and suddenly felt like being in headmaster’s office. He didn’t like that idea. He hated that place and wouldn’t like to re visit it.
The older man cleared his throath and the young boy in front of him raised his gaze up from his hands that were resting on his lap. The older man sighed and leaned forward in his chair. Clasping his hands on top of the table top.
“So. How you doing lad ?” He asked, a little bit too friendly that took back the young man for a moment. He didn’t know what to answer, he started to play with his fingers again, nervous habit of his.
“you excited about your first big job ?” The older one asked again and the younger nodded lightly, still not able to form actual words.
“That’s good, that’s good 'cause you know the lads are a bit restless… I don’t want you to dissapoint me, aye ?” He asked with an rised brow and tilted head. His gaze was demanding. One of those looks what dad gives to their son.
The young dark haired boy lifted his head up again and nodded, with more confident than before. There wasn’t backing down anymore.
“Aye, sir.” He said with his deep Scottish brogue that was hard for some to understand. He was really proud of his heritage and wore that with proud. For these mans fightning for the cause. It was hard thing to accept.
The older man nodded aprovingly and stood up, closing his jacket button.
“Great. The other boys are probably waitin’ for ya”, he said and showed the young man to get up.
He stood up and straightening his jacket a bit.
Still wet from the rainy weather outside, not able to dry out in the wet air of the inside.
“Don’t make us regret our choise. ”, he said sternly with lifted eyebrow before shoeing the younger man out of his little office kind of room.
The young man stumbled out of the room and once back in the hallway, he leaned to the hallways wall for the moment, gathering his thoughts. That seemed to have spread out like a broken glass bottle pieces. Was this really what he wanted from his life. He was going to do his first blood work for the IRA. He is going to kill someone. Take the life from the person. Was this really the only thing he could do. He was a nerv wreck and he prayed silently for the god not to watch his doings tonight. Suddenly a bit mad shout draw him back to the reality from his too loud thoughts. He shot his gaze to the end of the hallway where a familiar looking face with dark short hair was looking at him from the doorway.
“C'moon Filip, get yer arse back in here”, he growled with almost a snarl and get back into the room leaving the door open.
The young man breathed deep and put his hand over the big silver cross that was hanging around his neck. He then took the first steps to his new coming life where he couldn’t turn back anymore. This was the day that changes his life for ever.
Filip reached the back room and stepped into the dimly lit garage kind of storage room. There was his other group mates that were chosen for this mission what they got. The plan was simple. “Go there and kill that bastard” like they had said
“What took you so long ?” Asked the group leader, the brains of the mission with an annoyed tone with matching expression on his face.
“Sorry, i was..-”, Filip said and stood silently his hands in his jacket pockets
That guy just rolled his eyes and raised his hand to him “save it.. I really don’t want to hear it”, he said annoyed and looked back to others.
“Our job is simple. We go in there and we make sure that the bastard gets bullet to his brain, end of the story clean and simple”, said the other guy beside the leader, leaning over the small table that we all were gathered around
Filip just stood silently a little bit more far away from the table. He knew who was gonna be the one who completes that plan. He started to feel nervous again, the feeling building up slowly the bottom of his stomach and started to build it’s home into his body. He wasn’t a killer, they say when you first time kill someone your never gonna be the same anymore. It changes you, and the thought of that was turning the young man’s stomach upside down.
Why he was there then ? Well. He didn’t have a choise, he needed to do this for the sake of his future.
He felt light nudge at his shoulder and came back into the reality once again Suddenly all the eyes were on him and he started to move on his feet with unconfirtable feeling from the stares.
“Did ye hear me ya idiot ?” The leader of the group growled at Filip who was almost shaking at his place, but he had learned to keep the cool expression in the army.
“aye, i did”, Filip lied with a slight nod
The man looked him with disbelief and nodded then slowly eyes still on Filip’s face looking straight into the man’s dark brown eyes with his own green once.
“We don’t have changes for this to go south, ye can’t go chicken when the moment comes.” He said sternly and then the other one rolled the map from the table and put it away.
They started to move outside to the storm that was throwing ruckus at the outside. They all gathered into small van and of they went. Filip sat silently, eyes closed and he preyed in his mind silently. He was asking for forgivness for the things what he is gonna do. He prayed that his mother wouldn’t be watching what he was going to do tonight,. He prayed for everything in this world, god he was fucked…
