#flicks

Top 10 Campest Christmas Flicks

Now we know it’s not even December yet but we can all agree that we are within a reasonable distance to talk about it at least? Well, (Not to sound like a snooty neighbour) we here have already planned our Christmas Day viewing to avoid the inevitable 6 O’clock slump between turkey and twilight. So take a pick from some of these classics and put together your own boredom-banishing, camp Christmas…

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The Man From U.N.C.L.E. movie preview

Photograph by Daniel Smith The Man From U.N.C.L.E. Yes, it’s based on the 1960s spy series. This action comedy stars Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer as a CIA agent and KGB operative, respectively. The pair teams up to take down a criminal organization that’s trying to build a nuclear arsenal. It’s an intriguing concept, but unlike other recent Cold War dramas, this spy thriller doesn’t take itself…

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Halloween (Cinematic) Treats
A Horror Movie Roundup

By Christine Colby

BLOOD PUNCH
Love, sex, meth, and murder—and murder, and murder, and murder, and murder…. The director, screenwriter, and three main actors (Milo Cawthorne, Olivia Tennet, and Ari Boyland), all of whom hail from New Zealand, have a history together—with the Power Rangers. Don’t let that turn you off; this 2013 release is no kiddie flick. Blood Punch is a clever and violent film that challenges its viewers to keep up with a twisting and turning supernatural plot that’s constantly throwing curveballs. Blood Punch is like Groundhog Day meetsCemetery Man, and full of dark humor and grisly gore. Look for Adelaide Kane (The Purge, Teen Wolf,Reign) as a drugged-up, gun-wielding gangster’s moll. Also, the makeup supervisor’s name is Erik Porn, so there’s that.

JUNE
When June was just a baby, she was used in a cult ritual gone haywire that left her … telekinetic? Evil? Possessed? We’re not really sure. While some aspects of the storyline are a little unclear, this new entry in the creepy-kid genre is elevated by its artful and magical cinematography and the skillful acting of young star Kennedy Brice. The troubled girl makes her way through the foster-care system until finally landing what seem like perfect suburban parents (Casper Van Dien of Starship Troopers and Victoria Pratt). June struggles with her unwanted abilities and does her best to control them, with assistance from her new foster parents and her caseworker—although not everyone is what they seem. While imbued with a few creepy scenes, June isn’t really that scary. But it’s enjoyable to watch for its creative lensing of a familiar story.

DEATHGASM
Another film starring Milo Cawthorne, as well as blonde beauty Kimberley Crossman (also a Power Rangers alum—what’s going on here?), Deathgasm is a riotous, heavy metal–powered film that both pokes fun at and honors metalhead culture. Disenfranchised headbangers find brotherhood and bandmates in their oppressive small town in New Zealand. With spiked gauntlets and corpse paint, they team up to fight a supernatural horror they inadvertently raised with their righteous riffage.

In one standout fight scene, Deathgasmoffers viewers the best reason to keep a large box of good-quality sex toys around. You never know when you might need them to fight off demons. While it owes a huge debt to both The Evil DeadandBad Taste, it honors both films with its own high level of hilarity and gore.

TALES OF HALLOWEEN
Ten Halloween-themed shorts by ten different directors—Tales of Halloween is perfect for those with short attention spans. Although supposedly taking place in the same town, and linked together by legendary hottie Adrienne Barbeau as a velvet-voiced radio announcer, that doesn’t really matter. Each story stands on its own and has its own style. The top directors are Darren Lynn Bousman (Repo! The Genetic Opera), Lucky McKee (May), and Neil Marshall (The Descent). The most well-known actors are Barry Bostwick (The Rocky Horror Picture Show), Booboo Stewart (Twilight; X-Men: Days of Future Past), and Sam Witwer (Being Human). Serious horror fans will enjoy looking for brief cameos by John Landis (An American Werewolf in London), Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator), and Joe Dante (The Howling), among others. None of the stories are very terrifying, although there is a lot of gore—most fall squarely in the comic-book style of more humorous tales. Stick around through the end credits to hear the original theme song by horror rockers Psycho Charger.

THE FINAL GIRLS
Thispostmodern take on the sleepaway-camp slasher manages to be funny, frightening, and heart-warming at the same time. Taissa Farmiga (American Horror Story) plays Max Cartwright, who is reeling after losing her mother (hottie Malin Akerman of WanderlustandCBGB) in a car accident. Mom was an actress in campy eighties horror films, and when a movie theater shows a revival of her best-known picture on the anniversary of her death, Max and her friends (including Alexander Ludwig of The Hunger GamesandVikings, Nina Dobrev of The Vampire Diaries, and Alia Shawkat of Arrested Development) find themselves sucked into the world of the movie. As they join forces with the doomed camp counselors to fight the masked killer, hilariously experiencing every stereotypical slasher-flick plot device known to man (Want the killer to show up? Take off your clothes!), Max is able to reconnect with her mother. True horror geeks will love this one, which seems ready-made for a trope-spotting drinking game.

And, if you feel the need to class up that drinking game….

This fall, HobNob Wines has a limited-edition bottle that’s perfect for bringing to horror-movie marathons and masquerade balls. The Wicked Red Blend features creepy and beautiful artwork of sugar skulls and roses that makes it appropriate for Halloween and Dia de los Muertos, although we’d drink it all year round. The blend of Grenache, cabernet sauvignon, Syrah, and pinot noir drinks smoothly and has notes of hazelnut and mocha, which make it delicious with your favorite fun-size chocolate bars. The $11 price tag makes it a no-brainer.

Sicario Photograph by Richard Foreman/Lionsgate Emily Blunt stars in this bloody thriller about an FBI agent who, after raiding a Mexican cartel’s safe house in Arizona, gets chosen for a top-secret mission to take down a high-profile drug lord across the border. As she realizes the full scope of the operation, she begins to suspect she’s being used as bait. It’s two hours of graphic violence and…

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