#funny song

Released a NEW SONG for the first time in 1,000 years so of course it’s my weird head-canon about the strange old man who runs the sheep port in Settlers of Catan

Listen, children of Catan
To the tale I am to tell
Of the port where lives a strange old man
With many wares to sell
He’ll trade you brick, he’ll trade you ore
He’ll trade you wood or wheat
But this strange old man, the only thing
He wants from you is sheep
This strange old man, the only thing
He wants from you is sheep
This strange old man, the only thing
He wants from you is sheep

He’s never heard of Adam Smith
Or supply and demand
Sell high, buy low he only knows
When he buys a lowing ram
And if you try to haggle
He won’t even deign to speak
He’ll just look so deep inside your eyes
Until you give him sheep
Gaze deep into his soulful eyes
And give him all your sheep

He doesn’t shear or eat them
Never makes them into stew
His herd just grows, and no one knows
Just what this man will do
Just what this man will do

Yes, even when, across the land
Every pasture’s full
Of flocks of ewes and herds of rams
And baskets stuffed with wool
Yes even when the market’s baaaaad
And the deal will leave him fleeced
This strange old man, the only thing
He wants from you is sheep
This strange old man, the only thing
He wants from you is sheep

He makes much ado about mutton
He lives on the lamb it’s true
With numbers shear he makes it clear
He’s just that into ewe
He’s just that into ewe

Listen, children of Catan
To the tale I am to tell
Of the port where lives a strange old man
With many wares to sell
He’ll trade you brick, he’ll trade you ore
He’ll trade you wood or wheat
But this strange old man, the only thing
He wants from you is sheep
This strange old man, the only thing
He wants from you is sheep
This strange old man, the only thing
He wants from you is sheep
Oh what could one old man do
With an island full of sheep?

PS: If you’re fans of tabletop stuff, you might like my new deck of worldbuilding/mapmaking prompts on Kickstarter!

Some particularly ridiculous moments from my new “Hello NSA” music video. I picked some because I was proud of the wordplay and others because there were jumper cables on my nipples. I’ll leave you to sort out which is which.

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1z7Nmrn1WcI&list=PL283994E151539F68