#gallows humor

my depression isn’t gone, it’s just learned a little patience.

Death: you have lived a good, long life. Continue your journey with me. *holds out skeletal hand*

Me: Did you know that the critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV has a free trial, and includes the entirety of A Realm Reborn AND the award-winning Heavensward expansion up to level 60 with no restrictions on playtime? Sign up, and enjoy Eorzea today!

Context: my company is almost completely remote (only finance and hr are on site. I am neither soft dev works from home)

Me to new PO: I’m sick with covid but seeing as quarterly kickoff is very important I will be at each team meeting. Please don’t make me talk. I look and sound like I lost against two of the four horsemen of the apocalypse

PO: thanks for the heads up

FIRST TEAM MEETING

PO: Naiya, introduce yourself and give us a fun fact.

Me: hi. I’m naiya. I’m your technical project manager. Fun fact. I have covid, and while it’s classified as a bug, it has yet to be transmitted through technology

PO: Don’t die.

Me: this is me actively working on not dying. It’s my most important thing today.

In the 14th century, a man called John Deydras claimed to be the real Edward II, asserting he and the English king were switched as infants by a nurse.

At his sedition trial he confessed to making up the story, explaining the devil possessed his cat and his cat convinced him to do it. In June 1318 he was hanged and his body was burned.

The cat was also hanged for its role in the plot.

And so you see, this isn’t a story about a mad pretender to the crown but rather about the hangman tasked with making a little cat-sized noose and actually carrying out the execution of an innocent cat whose only crime was to be the pet of a sniveling little punk snitch.

Inktober day 25, Tasty