#edward ii
Wherewith Thy Churches Blaze
Written for this week’s @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt: “setting heaven on fire” (inspired also by Christopher Marlowe’s Edward II, which I’ve been studying at uni recently)
Word Count: 242
“Why should a king be subject to a priest?
Proud Rome…
I’ll fire thy crazèd buildings, and enforce
The papal towers to kiss the lowly ground!”
- Christopher Marlowe, Edward II(Act I, Scene IV)
The torches blazed in their sconces, casting flickers of flame across the walls of the castle hall where the King paced restlessly. The ghost of a kiss lingered on his lips like the remnants of a bittersweet poison. His favourite, his heart, his everything - banished,cast asunder across an endless grey expanse of sea.That one word, banished,weighed heavier upon him than the loss of a thousand kingdoms ever could.
All this, brought about by hands that claimed to be friends. Treasonous conspirators, all of them, the peers and the clergy both. Worst of all, they were happy. They reveled in his misery, in his loneliness, and for what? So that they might feel less insecure in their own fragile superiority?
The King sank down onto his throne and put his face in his hands. Slowly the crown, that heavy circlet of ruby and gold, slid from his head and clattered to the floor. What did it matter? What was it worth, to be the head of state, when the laws of God denied him the only chance of happiness that could be?
The torches blazed in their sconces, the fire reflected in the anger in his eyes as his despair hardened into resolve. He would have his beloved by his side once more, even if he had to set Heaven itself on fire to do it. Some might have called it sacrilege; others, blasphemy.
The King called it love.
I have ingested nyquil so I am doing this
Alfred the Great: buys just enough canned food and duct tape to the point where you’re not overly concerned but you are pretty sure he’s a doomsday prepper
Aethelflaed: fills three carts with snack cakes, those church basement paper cups, and generic brand soda because no one can negotiate a surrender on an empty stomach
Athelstan: that is far too much coffee
Aethelred the Unready: just buying every single item on his wife’s list. This is the fourth store he’s been to because Emma is very specific.
Cnut: only came here for all his Special Haircare Products
William the Conqueror: fills up a cart and just leaves without paying. just fucking books it to the parking lot I hate him
Matilda: comes in with three rowdy boys, tells them to not ask for ANYTHING, buys an armload of 5-hour energies, leaves with two rowdy boys
Henry II: walks around the store eating a bag of grapes he has not bought while Eleanor does the actual shopping
Richard I: will find a way to talk about his study abroad last year with the deli guy if it kills him. Is also texting his mom to ask what groceries he needs to buy because he has no idea
John: verbally berating everyone in customer service because they won’t let him return a dented can of peas that expired 7 years ago
Edward I: tries to use a 24 year old coupon to buy lentils in bulk (he doesn’t even like lentils?) and knocks over an elaborate pepsi display in a fit of rage
Edward II: has his card declined and demands to know why the cashier had to be so loud about it
Edward III: says “guess it’s FREE THEN HAHAHA!!!” when an item doesn’t scan right away. several items do not scan. Gets a veteran’s discount.
Richard II: that’s uhhh… a lot of advil there buddy
Henry V: also has his card declined but drops the “DO YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS” line, is dressed like lucky luciano
Henry VI: begins to panic when Margaret leaves him in line for two minutes because she forgot eggs. the line is moving quickly…so quickly
Edward IV: he has one cart filled with wine. Elizabeth Woodville has another filled with kid cuisines.
Henry VII: pulls out the fattest binder you have ever seen and it’s filled with coupons. His transactions usually take 2 hours and he tsks the entire time.
Henry VIII: buys bags of charcoal and dog food just so he can pick them all up and be like “yeah this isn’t even heavy to me I don’t even feel it” also buys condoms and laughs nervously
Edward VI: literally just buying root vegetables even though he’s 9 because he is so weird
Mary I: just coming in for her weekly supply of “praying for you” cards, always gives exact change thank you mary
Elizabeth I (if these even count as medieval anymore): no longer allowed to do her own shopping after the sweet n low incident. Now a personal shopper gets her groceries for her. it is robert dudley
“After being showed the relics of St Alban kept at Ely he (Edward II) jokingly remarked that he had already seen them at St Albans”
oh my god, why did he kept trolling the monk of Ely so hard about those damn relics??
Girlboss manwhore couple she’s killing he’s fucking nobody is doing the housework
Kinda really hilarious to me that we still perpetuate the myth that Piers Gaveston stole the horses and jewelry that Isabella of France had supposedly received as wedding gifts, meanwhile after Piers death his actual horses and jewelry are the one who got entagled in a legal battle so ugly that the pope himself had to tell the magnates to quit acting up…
Which kiss of peace do you guys think was the most awkward and unpleasant for all party involved, the one of Philip the Fair and Edward I or the one of Edward II and Thomas of Lancaster?
Edward’s joy at the birth of his heir went some way to assuaging his terrible grief over Piers Gaveston, and he gave his son his title of earl of Chester within days of his birth, and showered him with gifts and lands. In December, Edward granted the enormous sum of eighty pounds annually to Isabella’s steward John Launge and his wife Joan for bringing him news of the birth (though he was also at Windsor at the time), which gave them a higher income than some knights. By the time he was a few weeks old, Edward of Windsor had his own household of many dozens of people, and Edward and Isabella visited him occasionally. (Edward II- the Unconventional King by Kathryn Warner)
Edward II & Edward III + Space Song inspired by and for @leonordeborgonaand@edwardluckyman my beloveds
remember when u were like “man. too bad we couldnt have real gay rep in the shakespeare era….. so sad that we’re confined to subtext……. well, at least theres the coriolanus speeches………” and then u read marlowe’s edward ii and ur head got blown off ur shoulders