#game on charles recap

We’re back and Mona has been driven crazy by her isolation pit so is rocking back and forth singing to herself. I love that because the actress Janel has an amazing voice the writers constantly get her to sing. I think we are all like Hanna in the choir room “Ok Mona we get it you can friggin’ sing.” Anyway she’s singing the popular lullaby “Hush little baby don’t say a word, Momma’s gonna buy you a mockingbird” and crying. Poor Mona. This kind of derails my Mona is shady and actually still on the A team theory I guess.

Theory: All this Mockingbird imagery (the cafe Ali was hiding out in New York was called Mockingbird Cafe, Ezra was teaching this book at Rosewood etc) makes me wonder whether we should be looking at the storyline of To Kill A Mockingbird for A’s motives. I’ve only read synopsises but from what I can tell the main character is thought of as a freak but he just wants friends and to protect the people he loves. Could Charles bringing the girls to the Dollhouse be his way of protecting them? Doesn’t really explain the torture I guess but this is possibly the only way I can imagine feeling sorry for Charles as Marlene has said so many times we will. 

Back to Ali. She’s arrived at her destination according to the satnav and low and behold the gas tank is empty. How many times must A have practiced that run to make sure the car conked out at exactly the right time? Forgetting she’s on a murder mystery drama and also that she’s ran away from the police she calls road side assistance but a man’s voice tells her to look in the trunk of her car. Creepy AF! Ali get’s out of the car and I’m like screaming NO YOU DUMB BITCH STAY IN THE CAR. It’s just like in horror films when they go investigate that noise they heard in the basement and you’re just watching like ‘you are going to die dumbass!’

Sidenote: The voice kind of sounds like it could be Bryon, Aria’s Dad. Chad Lowe who plays Byron directed this episode so perhaps he lent his voice to it or perhaps this is actually Charles’ voice not Bryon’s and the PLL writers are teasing us. OMG just had a realisation. The PLL writers are like the PLL fan’s very own A… they’ve literally been tormenting us for years (well you guys… I’ve only known this show existed since January).

Back to the hardy bros (honestly if you’re a true PLL fan and you don’t listen to Bros Watch PLL Too you need to sort your priorities out) aka Team Ezleb and they have a pretty funny exchange whilst catching up with Ali… Ezra’s driving too fast for Caleb’s liking. Ezra says “She’s still not moving?” Caleb replies “No she’s at a dead stop” Ezra comes back with “That’s a poor choice of words.” One liners on form tonight bravo Marlene.

Meanwhile Tanner is looking through a box full of Andrew Campbell’s confiscated possessions. She’s reading a very interesting diary entry which paints him as the culprit. He details his obsession with wanting to turn the girls on each other and fantasising about tormenting them. Now I’m torn about this because if it’s an A plant then snoozefest we’ve seen this happen a million times but if it’s real then woh maybe Andrew is A and that would be equally boring because he’s such an irrelevant 2D character. Also am I the only one who’s like ‘Do teenagers seriously keep paper diaries these days?’ I mean I know we’re supposedly in 2012 but still, pretty sure most teenagers use Twitter as their diary these days because the concept of privacy has been eroded away.

Anyway Toby busts in and says they have a lead on Andrew’s car which is around Tyler State Park (have your mind blown with this connection http://www.reddit.com/r/PrettyLittleLiars/comments/38dknp/tyler_state_park_where_the_dollhouse_is_is_in/) where Ali has broken down. Rosewood PD are on the case!

Ezra and Caleb pull up to Ali’s empty car. The trunk (we call it a boot in England) is open and her clothes are splayed out. “The signal stopped here” Caleb brings us up to speed. They find the welcome card Hanna was talking about. The girls voice from the dollhouse says “Put on the clothes and start walking. Leave everything else behind or they die.” Wow that escalated quickly - nothing says welcome more than a death threat. The messages are pretty cute in the card despite the fact A forced the Liars to write them. The boys run off into the woods after Ali basing their geographical decision on how Ali positioned her boots. Pretty smart!

We cut to Ali running through the trees part 3 (or maybe 4… I’ve lost count). Surprise surprise Charles has dressed her in the infamous yellow top. Sasha Pieterse who plays Ali must despise that top. Now 19, she’s been wearing the bluddy thing since she was 12. Charles definitely put in a bulk order for these bad boys - probably saw Ali and Bethany (and CeCe… shit 3 people in the same outfit just like in the Dollhouse) wearing it that night and Amazon Primed it so he could have his 100 yellow tops the next day then thought shit I need some girls to actually wear them. Guess I’ll go on a kidnapping spree then.

It’s midnight and the generator is down so the Liars spring into action and storm towards the playroom to look for a secret passage to A’s vault or ‘soul’ room. I’m still reluctant to say this A has a soul considering all the torture and the death threats and the kidnapping etc but we’ll roll with that name for now. Spencer tells them about the C.D toy she found in Ali’s room she says “Some of the toys were Ali’s and some were his” Aria adds “Feel like they grew up together.” 

Theory: Presumably Charles put those boxes in Ali’s room for the liars to unpack so why would he purposefully include some of his own? The same goes with the anagrams. Why aren’t the liars questioning who is giving them these clues and why? If A really is Charles then he obviously wants them to find out. Also if you took the show completely out of it’s social media vortex and watched it with no external information you would just think Spencer was barking up the wrong tree again because let’s face it when Spencer thinks someone is A they 100% are not. At this point the only reason I believe Charles is A is because Marlene King has gone on the record saying he is but she’s lied plenty in the past so why would this be any different?

The siren starts blaring as the generator kicks back in but Emily finds a vent for the Liars to crawl through. Let me get this straight. You’ve been tortured for a month straight, been gassed several times but you’re still willing to crawl through an air vent despite not knowing where it leads? Emily Fields you are a girl after my own heart. Who’s the weakest link now hey bitch?

(Spencer checking out Emily’s ass)

So they’re in the vault and Emily’s like “A does have a soul.” They watch the home video of Mrs D with a baby girl and two boys, possibly twins but more likely brothers and A is watching them. We get a bit self-referential when Spencer looks up to the camera and says “Game On Charles.” She steps back and burns the film reel by holding it down. Surely a tech genius like A has several digital back ups though right?

Getting no reaction from Charles because he’s too preoccupied with Ali being almost in his grasp, Aria says “Let’s torch this place.” So they start burning things like dolls and the crib. Smart move girls considering you’re locked in this room. A is clearly torn between going after Ali or saving his precious room but we see him get up from his desk so he’s clearly going for one of them.

Cut to Ali looking sheepish waiting to be kidnapped. She shits herself when a twig snaps (classic horror) but it’s just Caleb and Ezra. Sasha’s scared faces are on point in this episode. She manages to do loads of different faces to convey the same emotions in her scenes this episode so props to her - great actress.

Back in the vault the Liars are realising it probably wasn’t the smartest of moves to start a blazing fire in a small room with lots of flamable items. Aria suggests they find a blanket to put it out. Erm not sure what experience you’ve had at putting out fires Aria but let me tell you a blankets not going to cut it this time love. 

Emily suggests using the curtains but when they tug them down they come face to face with A. It’s pretty creepy. By the looks of things his control room is behind this window next to the vault. Also throwback to the silence of the lamb pit earlier with Mona, it looks like A is now wearing a bit of a hannibal lector mask under that hoodie.

In a last ditch attempt to get Charles to cave the liars start throwing everything into the fire. Aria gets sassy “Say goodbye to your soul” - for the last time Marlene we get it, you want us to see A’s human side well spoiler alert that’s not going to happen. 

It works, A caves and pushes his emergency fire button to activate sprinklers and unlock all the doors. I love the fact that this mass torturer follows health and safety regulations. What a responsible kidnapper he is. The girls make a break for it and go off to find Mona.

Back in the woods Ali hears the alarm so Team CAZRALI (I’m not letting it go) go and investigate where the smoke is coming from. 

The Liars find Mona in the hole and after some ugly crying and pleading the girls decide she’s probably been through enough without leaving her to burn to death. They grab a rope ladder and next thing we know they are running down the corridor towards a ladder which presumably leads to the exit. 

Sidenote: How on earth did Charles get Mona down there in the first place unless he held a gun to her head and forced her to climb down?

This next scene is possibly the most emotional scene in PLL history so here’s a link to watch it in all it’s glory https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYkam5Pqakk

So the girls are banging on the exit door coughing and spluttering. The guys are trying to break it open. Caleb looks like he gives up so Ali gets in there and it flings open (girl power) and amongst all the smoke comes rushing out the scared Liars. It’s a beautiful shot of them each running to their OTP (controversial subject I know). Hanna runs to Caleb, Aria to Ezra and Emily to Alison - all hugging each other as if their lives depended on it (ironic). Ezra says to Aria “I thought I’d lost you” and Hanna says to Caleb “Don’t ever let me go” to which he replies“Never.” This genuinely had me in tears. 

The police arrive and Spencer (who is holding poor Mona at the moment) leaps into Toby’s arms for a passionate kiss. She says “We know who it is. We have a name” and Toby replies with the creepiest line of the night “It’s Andrew babe. And we’re gonna get him.” Just take a second to let that sink in. In fact go watch it on repeat a few times and see if you agree that Toby calling Spencer babe is hands down the most disturbing thing about this episode!

Just when everyones all loved up and relieved a cop shouts “Hey there’s another girl down here.” A female cop (I guess to be sensitive to the situation) goes and finds the other blonde hostage and asks for her name. The girl hesitates looking like she might say Alison (or Bethany depending on who she’s been role playing) but she stutters “Sarah. I’m Sarah Harvey”

HOLY CRAP. If you remember Sarah Harvey is the girl that went missing the day after Ali. That means she’s been locked in the dollhouse for near enough 3 years right? So the press surrounding Dre Davis playing a character called Kimberley Brown was a B.S. way of throwing us off the scent. I don’t know whether I feel betrayed or impressed but either way I’m intrigued to see how Sara plays into all of this. Or is she just an innocent victim who was in the wrong place at the wrong time? I highly doubt it.

Sarah is carried out on a stretcher. Melodramatic much? She was tottering around serving meals an hour ago. Mona’s being checked over by the paramedics and the gang are reunited. They remind us who Sarah Harvey is because for most of you that random plot point was thrown in half way through Season 4 so no one would blame you if you were like who the fuck is this girl if she’s not Bethany Young?

Emily then goes over to Ali and things are a little icy considering they basically just made out 5 minutes ago. Emily thanks Alison for saving their lives (no biggie) and Ali reaches for Emily’s hand. They’re about to have a moment which will break twitter and set the Emison fandom on fire when Emily says “Ali, who is Charles Dilaurentis?”

And that’s it. We are left with a blank-faced Ali who we know from the 6x02 promo has no idea who Charles Dilaurentis is. I don’t know about you guys but I’m seriously jazzed for this season and so-called Summer of Answers.

Let me know your thoughts & follow me on Twitter @thesweetestofa​ for a good old PLL debate.

Until next time little liars…

We are back in the Dollhouse the lighted pathway is flashing and the creepy girl over the speaker says “Please proceed to Ali’s room and prepare for arrival.” The doors unlock and one by one the clearly traumatised Liars file out of their rooms slowly. 

First Aria then Spencer followed by Emily, no sign of Hanna yet. Clearly it’s been a rough few weeks, they are all on the verge of tears and to top it off A has forced them in to their pilot-episode-attire. Yup that’s right Spencer’s rocking the nerd-chic, Emily’s donning what looks like a blue velvet ‘Rosewood Sharks tracksuit’ and Aria’s hair has been chopped off and the pink streaks are back. I can’t help but wonder if A did the hack job himself or whether he made Aria cut it. Either way Charles is clearly wanting the Liars to regress to their younger selves. This pretty much confirms he was there the night Ali got hit right?

“I would ask if you’re ok, but -” Emily starts before Aria quickly cuts in “Let’s not talk about what we just went through. At least not until we get out of here.” Spencer adds “I don’t know if I could even find the words” and my heart broke into a million pieces. If Spencer’s broken then we know it’s bad! At this point I was thinking there’s definitely been some rape going on here but Bryan M Holdman one of the show’s main writers has confirmed they weren’t. Phew!

Hanna appears (not in a fat suit I might add) and there’s this weird exchange of ashamed looks before Emily breaks the tension saying “We’re all together again. Ok? It’s going to be ok.” There’s a beautiful ButtahBenzo moment where Emily pulls Hanna in close (am I the only person who would ship Hanily?) which is swiftly interrupted by A ushering them along to Ali’s room. Not wanting to get in trouble again off they go.

They get to Ali’s dollhouse replica room and there’s 3 boxes on the bed containing all her belongings from home. Amongst the stuff they find a newspaper detailing Ali’s release from prison and Emily, eiffel tower in hand, deduces they must be getting ready for the arrival of the real Ali.  Uh oh doesn’t that make Monalison disposable?

Hanna who has physically distanced herself from the Liars (definitely some subtext going on in the blocking of this scene) asks “Did A force you guys to sign the welcome card for Ali?” Spencer and Aria exchange a twitchy ‘let’s not talk about this’ look and then carry on reading the paper. Spencer informs the others Ali refused police protection. Emily says “So Ali’s a sitting duck?” - throwback to 4x25 when Hanna and Spencer have the argument over ducks and geese.

Hanna, acting very skittish, reacts strangely to this conversation. She looks over to A’s surveillance camera and the light flashes 3 times almost like she’s being told what to do. She looks apprehensive but walks over to the Liars and says “If A brings Ali here does that mean he won’t need Mona anymore?”

Theory: So at this point I think we can safely assume Hanna has been psychologically damaged the most by the last few weeks. I think A’s aim was to turn the Liars against each other but looks like Hanna feels the most singled out. Or has A coerced her to join the A team? Kind of looks like she’s following orders right?

So we cut to a scene of A checking up on Mona who is trapped at the bottom of a giant empty well - shit just got dark. This scene looks like it’s been lifted from Silence of the Lambs, like the PLL crew fancied filming on another set for the day and just moseyed over and filmed it on the actual Silence of the Lambs set.  Anyway I digress. 

Mona pleads with Charles to let her out “If you let me out I promise I’ll be a good Ali. The best you’ll ever find, just give me a chance and you’ll see.” Aww poor Mona (who we can all agree looks terrible in that blonde wig) - it’s going to be hard to top the performance of the real Ali isn’t it?

Theory: I wonder if this is what happened with the other blonde prisoner. Was she Ali until Mona came along and then chucked aside like a doll? Or is she there to play the part of Bethany Young? Or is she in fact Bethany Young? 

Charles turns to leave and Mona screams (horrifyingly realistic performance by Janel here) “No, no, don’t leave me here. Please don’t leave me here.” Charles being the asshole that he is ignores her and walks away satisfied that he doesn’t have a corpse on his hands just yet.

Back to Ali’s bedroom where the girls are in full swing unpacking to make it feel more - dare I say - homely *shudders*. Hanna finds a photo album from the day at the lake where Ali famously said; “That’s immortality my darlings” and we first heard about the kissing rock. The girls reminisce on what douchebags they were for letting Ali call Lucas ‘hermie’ and for blinding Jenna. Emily states “We are not the same people we were back then… including Ali” (I smell Emison). 

Sidenote: The kissing rock is a reoccurring image in this episode. I can’t help but feel like there’s a few things that happened there that we don’t know about yet. A has clearly seen or been with Ali to the kissing rock at some point right? I automatically associate it with the N.A.T club because of the scene with Ian the night Ali got hit - perhaps that’s the link?

Spencer finds a wooden toy car (it might be a boat I couldn’t tell) with the initials C.D carved into it. Convenient ey? The cogs in Spencer’s brain are turning but Aria interrupts and calls her over to inspect the wardrobe. Detective Hastings doesn’t have time for this shit because she’s now searching the box presumably for more C.D. stuff but when she suggests Hanna helps, Aria snaps “Hanna is busy.” Again a bit of a hostile vibe towards Hanna between the liars. Sparia (friendship goals) find a message on the back of the wardrobe. It says “HE’S GOING TO KILL ME - M.” Oh dear Mona you’re probably right!

Back to Rosewood’s finest (more like useless) PD HQ and the first thing we learn is that our beloved Radley Sanitarium has been closed due to an “unexpected sale.” Tanner is totally on to Toby and gives him a grilling about Ali’s disappearing act (that girl goes missing every other episode I swear) when Detective Maple spots a blonde guy in a cap walking behind the news reporter assuming it’s Andrew (it definitely is, I’d recognise that buff bod any day). They spend way too much time lingering on the shot of Maple analysing ‘Andrew’s’ car’s registration number. We get it Barry, you’re a pro now!

Theory: Remember that episode where a guy in a cap meets with Melissa behind Spencer’s house - are you thinking what I’m thinking? The way I see it you’ve got potentially 2 groups in play here. You’ve got Big A (Charles) who has a tragic back story and is undoubtedly going to be linked to Bethany, Marion and the Dilaurentis family. Then you’ve got Melissa Hasting’s posse which included Mona, Lucas, Cindy/Mindy and potentially Andrew? Also completely off topic but remember when the Liar’s found the Charles Dilaurentis anagram in Mona’s room? Well Mona obviously doesn’t know who Charles is so she clearly didn’t leave them but shady Andrew was hanging around outside so he blatantly did. Or what if he’s an anti-hero who knows about Charles and was trying to clue the girls in without giving his game away? 

Cut back to Ali looking scared in the forest part 2 - low and behold she’s at the kissing rock. There’s a cute close up of the ‘EF + AD’ love heart which makes my inner Emison-fan swoon. In the distance Ali hears that song Marlene won’t stop banging on about on Twitter ‘Patsy Cline - Walkin’ After Midnight’. She investigates and finds a car with a pre-determined route in the satnav to take her to the dollhouse (how very Mona of you Charles #tbt 2x12). 

There’s an irrelevant scene with Caleb and Ezra showing they are still firmly on Ali’s tail. All I could think was dear God Ezra will you just please shave already? You look like a peadophile… oh wait.

Back to the Dollhouse and the girls have all received a box with their belongings. It’s quite sweet that he’s trying to make them feel at home in a completely psychopathic and creepy way. I can’t help but wonder at this point whether the other blonde prisoner knows that she’s got a shitty dark dungeon cell while the Liars mope about their exact replica bedrooms. Lifes a bitch ey?

And here it is the moment we’ve all been waiting for… the return of Aria’s handpuppet Pigtunia! We all know this thing is gonna be a key player in the night Ali went missing. 

The girls get emotional talking about the stress their families must be going through since they don’t know the girls are alive and Aria gets sassy with A: “I will kill you for what you’re doing to our families.” I would love it if Aria does end up taking down Charles. She’s small… but she’s big.

Hanna reads that her Mum has been taken to hospital because of the trauma of their kidnapping in the yet-to-be-authenticated newspaper. Spencer gets agitated and pulls out - wait for it - an etch-a-sketch. She brags about winning an etch-a-sketch contest when she was in the 3rd grade. The sad thing is no PLL viewer is surprised by this fact at all. Anyway she writes out “Charles is a Dilaurentis” and the girls look shocked. So the girls make a plan to break out again when the generator conveniently turns off at midnight. Yes because that worked out so well for them last time. 

Sidenote: I forget that the girls don’t know as much as we know. When I watched this scene my reaction was “well duh Spence we’ve known this for months because the Twittersphere worked out those anagrams minutes after they aired” but of course at this point all they know is Spencer’s whacked up brain figured out some alphabet blocks that spelled Charles.

PART 4 COMING UP…

So as I was saying before my hand cramped up, it’s 3 weeks later and conveniently we cut back to a media gathering that’s going to fill in those plot holes we have missed. The girls have been missing almost a month, the police know Mona is alive so Ali’s murder conviction has been overturned and Andrew ‘shady-mc-hottie-pants’ Campbell is the top suspect for the kidnapping but is on the run.

Ezra and Caleb are at the press conference looking pretty twitchy as Ali comes out to deliver a well-rehearsed plea to Andrew to not hurt the girls. She emphasises “My friends have always been my rock. Without them I am lost in the woods, totally alone.”

Sidenote: I wonder if any of the actual PLL crew are in this scene just doing their job. Like the sound guys who usually have to get out of shot but still crane their boom mics to pic up the sound are like “yup, just doing ma job guys nothing to see here.” Either that or there’s some awesome picture out there where you’ve got this weird box within a box type situation where we see a set of professional camera and sound crew filming and doing audio of a bunch of actors pretending to do those jobs in this scene. Just imagine the professional crew offering tips to their actor counterparts on their break like “you wanna hold the mic like this and angle it towards her like this. Yeah that’s way more realistic.” My production mind went on a bit of ramble there sorry, back to the ep.

Also it looks like Caleb has spotted the definitely somehow connected but annoyingly irrelevant twins Cindy and Mindy. This kind of ties back to my whole ‘Mona’s still shady af’ theory because the last we saw of these two they were being double agents for Mona. We were meant to believe Ali had won them over but then we saw them smiling as Ali went down for murder so that sorted that mystery out. Are they complicit in the bigger picture I wonder?

Back inside it’s revealed that Ali is playing bait so Tanner and the cop clang can lure Andrew to them. Agreeing to use a teenager as bait for a potential murderer/serial kidnapper… classy Rosewood PD antics. Tanner reassure’s Mr D that Ali will be protected by police 24/7 and that they know Andrew has been obsessed with the girls since Ali went missing. To end the scene, Toby and Ali exchange a ‘we’re up to something’ look (Toby’s got that bad boy I-was-A-once look about him in this shot).

Sidenote: We’ll find out about Andrew’s obsession with the girls later in the episode but at this point I’m kind of disheartened. I don’t think Andrew is Charles but if it turns out Andrew has been messing with the girls for years that feels like a storyline plucked out of thin air in Season 5. If it was going to be any of the background male characters surely it should have been Noel because he’s had the most involvement with the storylines, Ali and her enemies (he’s dated most of them). Or Lucas? Andrew’s character just has no real substance to him at this point.

So back in the dollhouse we see the mystery blonde prisoner who we are all thinking at this point has got to be either Sarah Harvey or a not-dead Bethany Young, am I right? Anyway she’s providing some creepy meals-on-wheels service for the liars. Spencer gets down and looks under the door (fairly certain there was room for her to look up and see it’s not Mona but anyway) they all start screaming “Mona help us!” “Mona is that you?” “Mona!” and blonde girl starts freaking out so she totters out of there with her trolley without feeding the other girls. Rude!

Cut back to Ali’s house where it’s evening now. They all freak out over the back door opening. The cops get their guns out and wait for the person to turn the corner. But it’s just Jason looking mighty fine. 

Do they think A is a fucking amateur? Yes he’s been torturing these girls for years, set up a fake murder that their dumbasses believed enough to send all 5 girls to prison for but he’s just going to let himself in through the back door and steal Ali away is he? 

Theory: I’m more of a CeCe is A kinda girl so I’m not sole on the whole Charles-is-Jason’s-twin theory just yet but I do appreciate it’d be genius if Charles has been pretending to be Jason this whole time. His own Dad thinks he’s a useless junkie but he’s actually this criminal mastermind with unlimited resources and has had everyone fooled for years. That’d show them! But for real I think the Jason twin theory is too obvious after 5x25… or are they betting on us discrediting this theory because it’s too obvious? God damn you PLL writers you’re in my head!

So just when everyones getting relaxed again Ali’s phone rings and it’s a blocked number. Let’s just take a second here. I think we can safely say that everyone under the age of 35 knows that this screen on an iPhone means you’re dialling out to someone. Is Ali banking on Tanner being so old that she doesn’t realise or are PLL seriously relying on their mainly teenage fan-base not knowing how a friggin iPhone works? Also update your iOS software Ali jesus - if you can have Emily and Hanna dance to Bang Bang by Jessie J and reference Disney’s Frozen we can safely assume the writers don’t give a fuck about keeping the mise-en-scene accurate for 2012. Update that skanky tech already!

In true A fashion we don’t hear a voice just a cryptic old song and Ali keeps him on the phone whilst Detective Barry Maple (in his flashy new “I got promoted” suit) traces the call to - wait for it - INSIDE THE HOUSE I REPEAT THE CALLER IS INSIDE THE HOUSE! A has some serious balls am I right?

So what do you do when you’ve got a potential psycho loose in the house? Hide the vulnerable target in a very accessible closet alone of course. I mean bravo Tanner, by these standards I think I could be a police officer. I loved the fact there was gift wrapping paper in there. I half expected to see Ali wrapped up as a present in the back of A’s car as he drove her off to the Dollhouse singing “Happy Birthday to Me.” Spoiler alert: that doesn’t happen!

Meanwhile upstairs Toby seems to have learnt everything he needs to know about holding his gun from the Police Academy films. He’s trying to act like a total bad ass in front of Tanner but when they find a a black hooded figure rocking in a chair in Ali’s room he looks like he’s legit going to shit himself. But it’s not A, it’s not even a person. It turns out it’s just a mannequin with a pig mask on - standard.

Sidenote: There’s lot’s of reoccurring themes and imagery in this show I might have to dedicate a whole other post to. On the subject of pigs though, Aria’s hand puppet Pigtunia makes a cameo later in this episode and remember that pig in Wilden’s car in the Season 3 finale? Hmm no coincidences in Rosewood Marlene tells us!

So Ali has made a run for it. This is the first of many times we see her running through the forest tonight. Tanner thinks Ali figured out Andrew wanted to meet her at the Campbell farm because the song playing over the phone earlier was ‘Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree’ (Toby says his mum use to play it to him). That’s right, the head of the police force is admitting a teenager outsmarted them. God I love this show, the adults are always so clueless!

Ezra and Caleb are waiting in a car nervously. You know they are nervous because they are both biting their finger nails. Genuinely, I’m not kidding. Ian Harding and Tyler Blackburn were like “how can we really convey our anxiety in this scene man? I want it to be really raw and authentic.” And they came up with synchronised nail-biting. 

Moving swiftly on, Ali gets in the car and we learn they’ve set the police up to go on a wild goose chase to the Campbell Farm thanks to a stellar act put on by Officer Toby might I say. So the dream team (comprised of an ex-couple and an ex-ghost hunter) have a plan: Ezra says “Are you sure Andrew would have got the message about the rock and being lost in the woods?” to which Ali replies “Believe me he’ll be at the kissing rock. He wouldn’t miss a chance to get his hands on me.” 

Theory: Ok so firstly Ali and the boys also seem convinced Andrew is A at this point but what’s more interesting is Ali seems sure he’ll meet her at the kissing rock. Was Andrew another one of Ali’s man-candy’s from back in the day? There must be some reason Ali thinks he’d get the message about meeting her there? Could he be the mysterious beach hottie? Did she see him at the kissing rock that night after Ian left? If so that means Aria has had 2 of Ali’s leftover boyfriends who are obsessed with her and end up stalking her and the liars… awkward!

The boys give Ali to a pair of boots (classy gents). These boots were made for walking… and specially fitted with a gps tracking device in the heel so they can follow where A takes her Caleb explains - #Codetastic.

PART 3 COMING UP…

WOW what an episode… I mean excuse me while I check myself into Radley. OH WAIT RADLEY IS FRIGGIN CLOSED! So not only has I. Marlene King driven me insane with (in my opinion) the best Pretty Little Liars episode of all time but now there isn’t even a mental hospital for me to check myself in to. Good job Mar! 

Ok I’m going to jump right into this PLLarmy because it’s been a long few months of PLL-less existence. So Season 6… here we go:

Previously on Pretty Little Liars…(aka the best 5 words in the english language at this point)

So after recapping the important bits from 5x25 (Girls get kidnapped, Ali is chain gang af, Andrew is bad, Caleb has a hackathon, Charles is A and apparently has a ‘soul’ etc) we just jump straight into the GASP OUT LOUD moments. We see the scene of the girls escaping the Dollhouse from last episode but this time from the perspective of another prisoner. Another Ali look alike with dirty blonde hair in the infamous yellow top (seriously, did Mandi Line just stock up on those things in Season 1?).  She’s drawing a sun on the wall (doesn’t look like she’s seen the real thing for a few years poor girl) when she hears the Liars running towards the exit. She goes over to inspect but instead of trying to escape with them she just slinks back into her dark room and sits on her bed. Behind her we see she’s been keeping a tally of the days she’s been locked up there… SORRY DIDN’T REALISE I WAS WATCHING A SAW MOVIE?!

We cut back to the scene of the liars busting out the door and running towards a tall fence surrounding the grounds. Before becoming human kebabs Spencer alerts them to the high voltage sign and Charles chooses to rub salt in the wound by being a patronising asshole and playing the song “Don’t Fence Me In” over the speakers. 

Quick sidenote: Charles clearly doesn’t want to kill these girls, he’s had ample opportunity over the last 5 seasons so I would have hedged my bets he’d shut the electricity off and started climbing that fence to freedom.

They all realise there’s no way out but Aria is quick to add “I’m not going back down there” and right on Q the doors electronically slam shut leaving the girls stranded. Talk about a rock and a hard place… well a locked door and an electric fence to be more specific! Hanna then addresses the camera with possibly the best line of the night (and there are some cracking ones)…

“You may be a dude but you’re still a bitch” - I mean this had me in stitches. Sassy Hanna FTW!

Charles having a bit of a tantrum about this shuts off the music and the lights leaving the Liars (and Princess Peach… I mean Mona) in the dark. They ignore this power play and jump right in to discussing what Spencer knows about Charles since she was, ya know, like 3 inches away from him AND DIDN’T EVEN TRY TO TAKE OFF HIS MASK (i’m not over it)! Mona asks Spencer if she recognised anything about him, his smell even? Sassy Emily replies “She’s not Jenna” THESE GIRLS ARE ON FORM TONIGHT! Spencer says there was something familiar about him like the feeling you get when you meet a penpal, a cousin or someone you knew when you were really little. 

Theory: what if he’s all 3? He’s been cyber stalking and texting the girls for years, he is basically a modern day penpal (a demented torturous one nonetheless), he’s obviously someone she knew when she was little because they made a point of telling us the Hastings use to go to the Campbell Apple Farm. As for the cousin thing, well I’m still not sure how I think Charles fits into the Dilaurentis family but either way he will be some sort of distant or implied relation to the Hastings I’m sure.

So the girls move swiftly on from who their potential torturer is to where they could possibly be geographically and how long they’ve been missing for. Hanna sarcastically remarks they could be in the Amazon (which I hope to God all you younger fans know is the world’s largest tropical rainforest in South America not the company that ships you DVD boxsets overnight… you do remember DVDs right?). Spencer whips out a bit of astronomy to point out they must still be in the Northern Hemisphere. “I was saying that facetiously” brainiac Hanna replies (just to remind us that she’s not dumb anymore… we got it Marlene, we got it). “Wow that’s an 11 letter word Hanna” Mona says in disbelief but really she’s thinking “Did Hanna suddenly figure out she was smart when I supposedly died? I’ve been saying that shit for years, I’m taking the credit!”. I imagine just off-camera Spencer is writing that word down to whip out at the next game of scrabble she has with Toby.

I’m just going to leave this here… no judging. I had to look up the spelling!

So we have a little montage of the girls being locked out in this prison-esque courtyard for what looks like 1 night and 1 day against all the elements - rain, storms, sweltering heat.

And then we cut back to harsh cold night again and the girls discuss how long they can survive without food (about 3 weeks) and water (some people can only go a few days Spencer informs us). They play who’s the thirstiest by describing what lengths they’d go to to get some form of drink - Aria says she’d drink her own pee. Hanna would suck on a pee ice cube but Emily wins because she’d lick sweat off a jock strap…

Something quite important happens next when the girls are all on the verge of crumbling. Aria says “I don’t know how much longer I can handle this” and Mona gives us a glimpse into just how badly she’s been tortured these past few months when she says “You can handle this Aria… we all can.” What she’s really saying is “You think this is bad? You just wait.”

The next morning the girls wake up to find the door is open for them to re-enter the dollhouse (so for those of you keeping track of time they’ve been without food and water for 1 day and 2 whole nights). They hesitate (as they should) and debate what to do but conclude that the punishment is over and that they should stick together. 

Sidenote: I think the concept of them sticking together will be really important in future episodes this season because as you’ll see later on I think Charles changes methods of torture to try and turn them against each other - to divide and conquer. But for now they are very much together and strong.

They are walking down the lighted pathway when the lights go off and we get our first glimpse of Charles this episode and of course he’s throwing a smoke bomb to gas the shit out them. That’s so Charles. But don’t worry he remembered Monalison’s present from 5x25, the gas mask, so he can steal her away.

Theory: Now I know this is going to sound ridiculous but there’s something about Mona’s reaction that just doesn’t sit right with me. It seems - dare I say it - planned. She looks like she’s waiting for Charles to put the mask on her and she doesn’t really struggle at all when Charles grabs her. When the smoke clears are we to assume she’s too shocked and weak to even try and fight him off? Hmm I just don’t trust her after this scene.

And the title sequence rolls… At this point “Got a secret can you keep it?” is the soundtrack to my life. Also when it gets to “Cause 2 can keep a secret if 1 of them is dead” at this point I find it hard to stop myself from shouting BUT NOONE IS ACTUALLY DEAD. Anyway moving swiftly on…

We come back to possibly the creepiest scene in PLL history. All 4 liars are lying naked and unconscious on morgue tables… FRIGGIN MORGUE TABLES! 

Confused and more than just a little disturbed they all sit up. Spencer says “I feel like my brain is being pulling out through my eye sockets” meanwhile Emily is relieved to find A hasn’t harvested their organs. “Emily, we’d be dead” Hanna remarks, Em comes back with “You only need 1 kidney” . The one liners just keep on coming! 

They take it in turns to check themselves out, make sure both tits are still perky and in place. Then in classic PLL fashion, Detective Spencer (the smart one just incase you didn’t catch that sarcasm) comes to the conclusion that A wanted them to look dead to send a message to their families… to stop looking for them. Because of course someone looking really dead proves they are dead… *cough* except for *cough*Mona*cough*Ian*cough*probably Garrett & Mrs D at this point too. 

In all seriousness though this scene strikes me as very self-referential and a bit of a *wink* to the audience from Marlene. It’s poking fun at the fact that no one is ever actually dead even when they seem it on this show. I kind of love Marlene for throwing that subtle jibe in there but it also makes me wonder who else we’ll see return from the grave.

Back to the action where Mona dressed as a candy striper (is that the right term? I’m english so although I’m familiar with the outfit from various shows the name is lost on me) offers the girls aspirin and juice. At this point I’d be like “HELLS NO AM I ACCEPTING DRUGS FROM CHARLES WHO JUST LAID ME UP ON A MORGUE TABLE LOOKING DEAD AF.” Mona makes it clear she’s back in character as Ali but admits she’s as scared as they are. We learn they’ve only been unconscious for a few hours and Mona has been in her room the whole time. The female voice (which we can now assume belongs to the other blonde prisoner we saw in the first scene) comes over the speaker system “please return to your rooms and find your surprises.” Mona turns and stares directly into A’s camera and says “No” and then after A’s message is repeated she refuses again.

The 3 chimes blare out over the speakers and Mona says rather redundantly “3 chimes means we have to go to our rooms… or else” - well no shit sherlock! I just imagine Charles is sitting behind his creepy desk like “I just said that TWICE you dumb bitch… are you deaf to everything but coded jingles now? Jeez, I’m torturing morons.”

So the girls chase after Monalison clutching their morgue death-sheets. They quiz her on what “or else” means. At this point surely they’d just stop asking and assume it’s some bad shit but Marlene clearly wants us to know what A has in store for Mona so she reveals “It steals you in the night and puts you in the hole.” Dum dum dum… what’s the hole? Oh you’ll soon find out my little liars.

Theory: That’s right I’m back to this #sorrynotsorry but this scene adds to my ‘Mona is being shady’ evidence because she comes strutting in to the morgue as Ali. She seems to have very much learned her lesson from being stuck outside for 2 days (and the months of torture before) and knows that she shouldn’t piss Charles off. Then within a minute she’s disobeying him which is fair enough, you go girl, but she clearly knew that would lead to some sort of punishment so why then does she act so surprised and fold when he threatens her? Also it seems like she’s very aware that she’s probably going to be taken to ‘the hole.’ Is that her way of telling the liars where to find her? Could she be in on the game and is therefore just trying to look more like a victim to the Liars? It would be really dark and twisted if that was the case. Just imagine if Mona never stopped being A, she just joined forces with the other big bad in Rosewood. Considering what’s about to unfold it’s highly unlikely but just a thought…

Irrelevant sidenote: Had a little déjà vu here of Troian & Shay donning bed sheets in the brilliant short film “Immediately Afterlife” (see photo below) . Interestingly it was written and directed by Kyle Hasday and Matt Stewart who use to be production assistants on PLL. Shout out to the awesome Bros Watch PLL Too podcast with Troian this week for that bit of trivia. This is actually quite sentimental to me because I saw this short film a few years ago on Kickstarter before I even knew PLL existed (thank God for Netflix). So this scene was not only déjà vu but also freakishly nostalgic.

Back to the episode. Deciding it’s best not to anger Charles any more they all file off to their bedrooms. They turn and give each other this one last longing look before going in.

Aria hesitates and is the last to enter but all doors soon slam shut before a chorus of pleas and screaming comes from the rooms. As best as I can tell Spencer shouts “No, no, no” Emily shouts “Don’t do this” Hanna just screams and then Aria shouts “No please don’t do this” (good try Aria but manners won’t do you any favours in the dollhouse). They all descend into blood-curdling screaming - the kind more regularly found in a horror movie not a teen show on ABC Family. 

Theory: What do you guys think is happening when they scream? There’s got to be someone in each of their rooms right? Because why the sudden outcry unless there was actually a physical threat? I imagine there’s an A minion donning a mask and black hoodie in their rooms pouncing on them, forcing them into their pilot-retro clothing and chaining/wiring them to some electro-shock desks for the weird psychological torture to transpire (I’ll elaborate more on this when we come to the promo for next week’s episode 6x02). 

Three Weeks Later…I have heard the writers say countless times that we live in a hyperreality in Rosewood and so the timeline, although helpful for big plot points, is ultimately irrelevant BUT just thought I’d point out the fun fact we spent 2 WHOLE SEASONS (from 3B to end of 5A) in November 2011 but in less than 1 minute we basically skipped a month. (Shout out to http://rosewood-clues.tumblr.com/post/95925885693/pretty-little-liars-timeline for the timeline)

PART 2 COMING UP…