#gandalf

Happy New Year’s, y’all!

sunflowersupremes:

Hobbit AU where everything is the same except Maglor shows up to yell at Gandalf and Thranduil about the stupidity of going to war over a shiny rock. He’s also disappointed in Bilbo, Bard, and Thorn, but they’re all Second Born, so he’s not sure how much history they know.

• They leave the Arkenstone unguarded in Thranduil’s tent for approximately five seconds and when they come back, Maglor is sitting on Thranduil’s fancy chair with his arms crossed.
• Just… imagine the look on the face of Thranduil (a survivor of Doriath) when he walks into his tent and there’s a SON OF FEANOR sitting there with the Arkenstone in front of him. FUCKKKKK.
• No one is certain how he got in there. The guards never saw him.
• At this point, everyone in Middle Earth had assumed he was dead, because there hadn’t been ANY sign of him since the Sinking of Beleriand.
• Gandalf doesn’t know what’s about to happen, but he knows it has the potential to provide great entertainment (or end in tragedy, but either way, he’s looking forward to it). He’s looking forward to telling Elrond and Galadriel, because he’s certain they will have highly emotional (and very different) reactions.
• Bilbo doesn’t know why everyone fell silent when they walked into the tent, so he just politely bows to Maglor and introduces himself as “Bilbo Baggins, at your service.”
• Maglor gives him a funny look - because he knows that offering your service to a Fëanorian is a really bad idea - but he decides the funny little creature looks too innocent to scold, so he smiles and bows his head. “Well met,” he says. “A star shines on the hour of our meeting.”
• Thranduil internally screams at the word “star”
• Then Maglor just starts shouting at Thranduil and Gandalf, calling them all fucking stupid. He asks Thranduil if he enjoyed the Kinslaying at Doriath, since he’s about to do the same fucking thing (‘It’s not the same!’ Thranduil argues. “Oh really?” Maglor asks, “You’re not about to go into an underground Kingdom to flush out the native inhabitants, ALL OVER A ROCK”)
• Bard and Bilbo are looking at each other like ‘do you know him?’ ‘no, don’t you?’ (Bilbo is highly upset because he’s considered an elf that could be so rude or that there was any such thing as an elf with a ‘hobo aesthetic’)
• Thranduil is, of course, offended to be compared to the Feanorians, so he shouts back that those are bold words for someone who came to claim the Silmaril for himself.
• Maglor stands up - and he’s taller than all of them - and just picks up the Arkenstone in his bare hand.
• Everyone goes silent. Thranduil is waiting for him to start burning. Bilbo is seeing their chance at using the Arkenstone to prevent battle slipping away. Gandalf knows what’s coming, and he’s having a BLAST.
• “YOU THOUGHT THIS PIECE OF SHIT WAS A SILMARIL?”

Okay, but why does “ YOU THOUGHT THIS PIECE OF SHIT WAS A SILMARIL ?” give off the same vibe as “ YOU NICKNAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER THE LOCHNESS MONSTER?!” ….

funnytwittertweets:

I don’t think it’s a good thing that I can relate to this so much

I said what I said.