#goldenrule

“Blondes have more fun” “Blondes are ditzy” “Blondes are stupid” “Blondes have it easier” “Dumb Blonde”

Who hasn’t heard those sayings their entire lives? It doesn’t matter what your hair colour is, but you’ve heard and repeated those statements at least once.  Just pause for a minute… and think about those statements. If you take a minute and examine that… wait for it… What a generalization!

I know people who’ve gone “blonde” to “get more attention,” “feel sexier,” and to seem like they are “less serious and more fun.” All in all, most people don’t realize it but these statements are confirming many people’s beliefs about blonde-haired people; they are silly (possibly stupid), objectified sex symbols. Many who hold this belief also think people who have blonde hair of course know this and that is why they persist with this hair colour… to reinforce this belief. That could very well be true, looking at the example of Miley Cyrus, from brown hair to blonde - then she underwent her media spectacle of “sexualization” for all to see. Britney Spears’ gradual look change from black to blonde, Beyonce - a platinum blonde African American .. and the list goes on. The point is - these people are cultural icons and have become embodiments of a particular beauty ideal - blonde.  Those who stand against blonde, do so in stark contrast - Victoria Beckham as a fashion icon with almost black hair, the Duchess of Cambridge with her flowing brown locks, and even Michelle Obama whose bangs made America standstill for a day… Why won’t they put in some blonde? Because it would look “wrong.” That, as the social elite, they strive to be above just an object or sex symbol and lead “meaningful” or “exemplary” lives.  We don’t say that… they don’t say that… but their image (including chosen hairstyle and colour) does. 

I’ve had my hair several different colours and it has always affected how people speak to me, listen to me and view me - specifically my own gender.  Why is that?  This idea of hair colour VS hair colour is actually a historical marketing ploy. What better way to sell products than to pit one segment of customers against another in competition - a competition for the ideal of beauty?

We could go on about the heterosexual male gaze and its effect on society and we’ll touch on that - but ultimately, I want to discuss the competition forthe male gaze, as perceived through hair colour.  We all want to look a certain way - why we care about that way so much, particularly now, is thanks to a man named Edward Bernays. Mr. Bernays, a nephew of Sigmund Freud, was one of the first to read his uncle’s texts regarding the wants and needs of the unconscious and how they present themselves. He saw this inherent human mental issue (one we try to reconcile with in many ways through dreams, denial, depression, etc.) as a gateway to product placement and sales.  Bernays is known as the foremost pioneer of marketing and public relations, historically to date (believe it or not, his tactics are still being used).  So who then invented blonde? It definitely could be Bernays or some of hismany prodigies. I am inclined to believe that it was.

What exactly is a blonde? Let’s think about this… Well, here we have to address the fact that we are discriminating against a segment of the population based on a genetic trait (natural or imposed): hair colour. We all know that this is morally wrong, right? We all know how people feel when we discriminate against skin colour… So why do we just turn a blind eye to hair? Choosing one trait over another is a slippery slope; one which has even lead to warfare. If we look back to history, and even today, we can say that this discrimination put you at either an extreme advantage or disadvantage.

Being fair and fair-skinned has been considered beautiful in many western, european and asian societies since before the middle ages - this is a social construct predominately created by ruling powers (kingdoms, religions, etc).  These people looked differently and got treated differently - some were treated better and some were treated worse. It basically comes down to one person’s preference (king, queen, emperor, sultan, shah, etc.) imposed as social (and sometimes unnatural) law. This was commonly to satisfy the gaze of a heterosexual male - the often sexualized gaze. Opinions though don’t have to be rooted in anything in particular… many are rooted, Freud would argue,in sexual desires and attraction.  Opinions are like skin cells, everyone has them and we shed them daily - unwittingly.. meaning unconsciously.  

But in the past, as with present day society, we look to signs and symbols to fit in and form social bonds. This was traditionally conforming to the ideals of the ruling elite - religion, monarchy etc.  Although with the fall of many a ruling power or monarchy, the dictators of our social codes via signs and symbols have become governments and most importantly, corporations.  Our social bonds are both a biological, psychological and social need for survival according to Thomas Scheff in his book about Microsociology.  So we bond with our new societies by accepting their beliefs. We want to belong… survive - but we also want to thrive and people like Bernays provide the underpinning to subliminally tell us - in the case of blonde: in order to be popular, sexy, or admired and part of the “in-group” you have to be blonde.

Why do they tell us this?

Because it works.

Because we are in a state of anxiety (Scheff calls it bond anxiety) when we don’t belong anywhere(unbonded), are searching to belong somewhere (bond-giving) and will take drastic measures to belong somewhere (often accepting otherwise unacceptable ideas or social ideas and codes of behaviours; bond-receiving from the community/group) - to have a better chance at survival.

Because we are inherently competitive and will do what it takes to reach the desired ideal - and this isn’t just my opinion - many texts on sociology and psychology will concur.  

So knowing this, let’s look at blonde again… what brings out the best in a competition?  A stark adversary.  We need an opposition to the current adjectives of blonde: smart, confident, serious…Cue the “brunette” from the right wing…and what better way to create a competition and fuel the fires by starting to educate future competitors young.. hence the development of “Archie” comics.

Any comic book creator of the 1950’s will tell you, as will Marshall McLuhan in his book The Mechanical Bride, they created propaganda in its simplest form - good storytelling. Comics books didn’t just tell boys, what to think and how to act and what it takes to be special, important and a hero - it did the same for girls.  This came in the form of Archie’s two female loves… Betty and Veronica. Both embodied the ideals marketers put forth regarding our current associations with hair colour. Betty was blonde and therefore virtuous, sweet, silly, dumb, fairly competitive and fun and Veronica was darker-haired, serious, smarter, manipulative and fiercely competitive all over a tool in our survival - a man. (Archie, a pale-faced, high school athelete, being the holy grail of partnership, looks and reproductive abilities). This rivalry was delivered weekly to kids who chose one of the two women to identify with - in essence to act as their role models.  This idea has been repeated in many ways in children’s cartoons and popular teenage music (think Spice Girls: Sporty Posh, Scary are all the empowered, stylish, outgoing and sleek dark haired women and the lighter-haired women get Ginger - an overtly sexual symbol and Baby … an adult who carries themselves as a sexualized little girl - enough said).

Several years ago, I decided to betray my natural hair colour (ash blonde) and become a “brunette.” To be specific - I chose a rich, beautiful chocolate brown.  I wanted to see what it was like and what it was, was a world of difference. I immediately had more acceptance among fellow women: more people spoke to me, smiled back at me and more men ( the intelligent types who I had wanted to come speak to me), now often would approach me. I felt stronger, more dignified and most importantly - better about myself due to this drastic change in attention. I felt more respected and that is when I started to become sad. Sad about the condition of women. While being listened to and praised there were several words in conversation which hadn’t been as present as they normally were.. instead of “I’m surprised, you know a lot about this” was replaced by “It’s nice to speak to someone on the same level” … or … “You didn’t seem the type to… ” by “that’s awesome we have that in common…”  Two clear instances of assumptions (surprised and type) being made about me on the basis of hair colour - she’s not smart/savvy and being typecast. The other two were warm, social bond forming situations - without the backhanded compliment. I didn’t feel as outside as I did when I was blonde.

I did observe a very strong and saddening pattern, the objectification of the blonde/lighter haired girls and their personalities by girls with darker hair tones.  This, to me, means those marketing people have done their work so well - it is now pitted in an “unspoken” inter-gender war. I’d hear women mutter about dumb blonde as total strangers walk by or comment on service, dress and physical appearance of blondes in a much more negative and discriminating way. This made me angry, but overall it made me sad.  These were all smart people - educated, wordily people. Smart people who were blinded by image over substance - a popular trend noted by behaviouralist, Erving Goffman.  It’s all about the spectacle, as famed sociologist Guy Debord says, almost to the point where we become it, believe it and lose our true selves as well as our respect for those around us.

I think this is what has happened in the blonde VS brunette war. We have let ourselves become commodified over one of the most silliest things ever - dead cuticle cells (hair). Hair in many ways, especially a biological level, is disgusting. If we think about it’s essential purpose - it is a form of biological waste meant to protect your body. So why do we let it matter socially? Because we are told it matters and it is a part of who we are and who others are. That statement is wrong on many levels. That statement is why so many people are treated disrespectfully and why we look down on others. Tying self-worth to a physical trait, especially one as superfluous as hair, has a remarkably damning effect on both yourself and the others around you. It’s the same as measuring someone’s intelligence by strictly material elements - where is the humanness? This isn’t the 1950’s anymore - this is the age of free information, where you can influence, challenge and change the status quo. You don’t have to be just one “role” anymore - your identity is a complex system of your own thoughts, preferences, signs and symbols but it can be your own. You don’t need to live up to some potential ideal and those who attempt to do so tend to become irreparably damaged in one way or another (Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, Lindsay Lohan).

Every since I was little, I knew it wouldn’t be easy. When I think of my mother, a fair-skinned, fair-haired woman who, top five of her law school class, gave up her career partly due to the perception that her intelligence and capability was based on her physical attributes. It was a time when women routinely bowed to social pressures. She was treated so poorly and given so little credit by her peers, that it played a significant role in why she left. No one deserves that - especially by your own sex. That should never be a determining factor on your ability to learn - no one should be judged or feel enough pressure to abandon a good or chosen course of action because of the attitudes of others (particularly based on something as minute as hair colour).  Can you imagine how far society would come if this sort of ingrained image were not taken so seriously? I wager we would be a lot further along in many ways (science, technology) than we are now.  

If I wanted an easier life, for me, I would have kept dying my hair that chocolate brown. That is also why many other people do the opposite.  It allows for an easier way to be read socially - and for me, less objectified. But that’s not part of who I am.

As my grandmother always said, “The proof is in the pudding.” It is the substance of someone who ultimately determines their success.  So my message to those who feel like they are being generalized, discriminated again, treated poorly or sidelined because of their hair, face, eye or whatever colour - I’ll say what I have always said: your colour does not define you.  Ultimately, it is your actions - how you treat others, be it blonde or brunette, that do. They kinder you are, the more likely, the happier you will be, the more social bonds you will form, the longer you will thrive and survive, the more opinions you will alter and the closer you will help in edging society to be less malicious, morally vacant or image-driven.  There is always hope, but it starts with you: follow, and when necessary go above and beyond, the golden rule. "Do unto others as they would have done to you.“

In a world where we rely on social bonding to be exchanged equally to enable our survival - we must place significant importance on the reciprocity of respect among our groups.  

This post was created after I accidentally bumped into someone at the grocery store, apologized and they called me "Dumb blonde bitch.”  I’d say this has been written with a fair amount of tolerance… No?  ;)