#grief journal
I’ve thought a lot about the series finale of Fruits Basket and what this series has meant to me for the past 16 years. But this show has a new meaning for me now. One that’s so much more personal.
When I first started watching anime seriously, I was in middle school (6th or 7th grade) I was an outcast. Severely introverted and shy, lowest of low self esteem, the pathetic list can go on. Anime was my biggest source of comfort growing up. It would give me fantasies about finding friendships, love, and growing into my own and finding a place where I belong. These 20-40 minute episodes would give me the greatest happiness, and every Saturday evening was dominated by binging Tonami and Adult Swim. Fruits Basket was my introduction to shoujo/romance, and I quickly learned it was my favorite genre. I watched the 2001 version on DVD, and completely fell in love. When I found out that it barely scratched the surface on that the series truly is and that there was a whole manga with the COMPLETE story I didn’t hesitate to read it all and become obsessed! Fruits Basket was where all of my fantasies in life grew even more. Then years later, they announced a reboot that would air in 2019! When I say I was freaked I was FREAKED. Finally the show I grew to love was going to be redone, and redone RIGHT! I’ve watched this new series for the past two years and it did not disappoint.
However, I have a new reason as to why this show is so important to me. My mother, who I loved more than anything and anyone in this whole world passed unexpectedly in January of this year (similar to Tohru and Kyoko) and my whole world just shut down. It’s like I couldn’t breathe anymore. I became this zombie like creature that just couldn’t live anymore, or lost the will to live. It’s to this day my worst nightmare. But then suddenly, a show that I loved so much became my biggest source of comfort. I was grieving with Tohru before I knew it, and started to learn how to move past this life I knew all this time, and welcomed my new one without my mother. But similar to Tohru as well, I developed beautiful and close friendships over the years that became my new family when I lost my mom. I got married in May recently to the man I know I’ll be with for the rest of my days. I still have so many moments where the pain of losing my mom is unbearable. But Fruits Basket has shown me, especially this year alone, that you can fight and move past the greatest tragedies and still have a life worth living. So for that, thank you Fruits Basket. Thank you for saving my life all of these years, and continuing to do so even now. I will never forget you❤️
If you’ve followed me for a while, you’ll know that I planted these bougainvilleas when my stepdad and dad passed away.
I live on the central coast of California, and it gets foggy and it is a bit more chilly. And even though bougainvilleas love lots of sun, they are growing and look at all the blooms! Makes me so happy!
If you’ve lost someone, get a plant in their name. Make a commitment to take care of it and grow it. Doing so has helped me so damn much!
The plan is to grow the bougainvilleas and make a wall. On the bottom, I’m going black berries and making them fall down the container.
