#harry potter fanfiction

Ravenclaw: *closes book*

Ravenclaw’s brain: Now what?

Ravenclaw: *opens book again*

Blaise: Don’t let another person ruin your day.

Draco: Yeah, ruin your own damn day.

Hermione: Santa isn’t real, Ron.

Ron: Ok?? I literally saw him at the mall.

Molly Weasley, hoping for a normal day: Good morning, Fred. Good morning, George.

Fred and George: We’re gonna try to become left handed today.

Ginny: idk why my friends ask me for relationship advice. Sis, just put sugar in his gas tank.

Bouncer: I can’t let you guys in here.

Ron and Harry: Why?

Bouncer: A permission slip signed by Hermione is not a valid form of ID.

Gryffindor: Ravenclaw will literally ask for your opinion and then tell you you’re wrong.

Draco: ugh, i feel so ugly today

Blaise: no man you look great

Draco: i know i just wanted to hear you say it

Gryffindor: You won’t like me when i’m angry

Slytherin: I don’t like you ever

Hufflepuff: i don’t have it in me to grind like i’m sorry

Hufflepuff: i was put on this earth to eat berries and play in the ocean

Ravenclaw: idk if i have any talents but i do have delusions

Therapist: a lot of my clients are feeling that way right now

Slytherin: ok rank us

Ron: Please raise your hand if you legitimately believe Lavender and I are in a relationship.

Ron: Lavender, put your hand down.

Slytherin: Do y’all pronounce it “brainless” or “Gryffindor?”

Slytherin: Just beat up a homeless woman so she can go to the hospital and have a bed to sleep in.

Slytherin: I’m an asshole but I’m also nice.

Hufflepuff, after an argument: I’m really sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it.

Slytherin:

Hufflepuff: I’m assuming that since your hand is now on my ass, you forgive me.

Gryffindor: Bruh, what if the Bermuda Triangle was just mad lit and that’s why no one ever left.

Hufflepuff: Ravenclaw, aren’t you supposed to be asleep?

Ravenclaw: I’m supposed to be a lot of things but I live to disappoint.

Slytherin: I’m done flirting with women online.

Slytherin: I’m gonna do it the old fashioned way.

Slytherin: *throws a rock at Hufflepuff*