#incorrect house quotes
gryffindor: so are you straight?
ravenclaw: straight up dead inside.
You know, people who say money doesn’t buy happiness just aren’t trying hard enough
-Slytherin
Ravenclaw: *Struggling to put cover back on box of paper*
Slytherin: …What are you doing?
Ravenclaw: I took of the cover of this box but I can’t get it back on
Slytherin: Why did you even open the box??
Ravenclaw: …to see what this kind of paper smelled like
Ron, trying to sound smart to impress Hermione: At this rate, the rate at which rates are increasing will increase at unprecedented rates.
*Ordering a cake on the phone*
Baker: What would you like your cake to say?
Gryffindor: *covers phone* Do we want a talking cake?
Hufflepuff: Obviously.
*sounds of despair from Ravenclaw*
Blaise: What is wrong with you?
Draco: Idk, man. Just haven’t been feelin’ fly like a g6 lately.
Slytherin: Ravenclaw told me to treat her like a princess. So, I married her off to a random stranger to strengthen the alliance with France.
Ravenclaw: It is getting harder to tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen and pour myself a cup of ambition.
Ravenclaw: *closes book*
Ravenclaw’s brain: Now what?
Ravenclaw: *opens book again*
Ginny: idk why my friends ask me for relationship advice. Sis, just put sugar in his gas tank.
Bouncer: I can’t let you guys in here.
Ron and Harry: Why?
Bouncer: A permission slip signed by Hermione is not a valid form of ID.
Ravenclaw: There needs to be an Area 51 raid to put Gryffindor back where he belongs.
Ravenclaw: Yeah, I will probably be dying alone.
Waiter: No, I said “Will you be dining alone?”
Ravenclaw: Oh.
Gryffindor: Ravenclaw will literally ask for your opinion and then tell you you’re wrong.
Draco: ugh, i feel so ugly today
Blaise: no man you look great
Draco: i know i just wanted to hear you say it
Gryffindor: You won’t like me when i’m angry
Slytherin: I don’t like you ever
Hufflepuff: i don’t have it in me to grind like i’m sorry
Hufflepuff: i was put on this earth to eat berries and play in the ocean
Ravenclaw: idk if i have any talents but i do have delusions
Therapist: a lot of my clients are feeling that way right now
Slytherin: ok rank us
Ron: Please raise your hand if you legitimately believe Lavender and I are in a relationship.
Ron: Lavender, put your hand down.
Slytherin: Do y’all pronounce it “brainless” or “Gryffindor?”
