You were a very unique child, raised as a boy with the genetics of a girl. This year, you were escaping to St. Helena College, a famous university. All on your own now, you had to find a way to get through college while staying under the radar. That was going to be a feat when you were hiding from the perceptive eyes and genius mind of your dorm mate Taehyung and his two best friends, Jimin and Jungkook.
I just binge read this and I am in love with this story. It’s so unique and I love your writing style❤️. I hope you continue this fic if you ever get the chance to, and can you add me to the taglist if you do???
Aw, I’m so glad you like it! I work really hard to write things in a way I’d want to read, so I’m always so pleased when I hear that someone likes my writing style!! I am going to continue this fic, I’m just going through and editing it because I want to change “you” to “me” or “I”. Hope you’ll still enjoy reading it after!! If you think you’ll still want to read it with this change, I’ll definitely add you to the taglist!!
I know it took forever, my brain kind of wants to die, but I’m actually excited for this chapter so let me know what you think
——————–
A small scream slipped out of you as you dropped into a ball, wrapping your arms around yourself.
“Close your eyes!” You cried, hoping whoever had just walked in hadn’t seen anything, and if they did, just assumed you had a closet fetish for dressing like a girl.
Your head pounded with the sound of your heart racing and your blood rushing. Eyes squeezed shut, you fought off the rising panic in your throat.
Silence ensued after a soft click of the door shutting and you waited with bated breath for someone to speak. You knew they were still in the room, you could feel their presence, but neither of you made a move or said a word.
Feeling pale as chalk, you tentatively opened your eyes, one at a time. You couldn’t help the way they snapped shut again at the sight of Taehyung before you.
“The other two will be up soon,” You flinched at the sound of his deep voice, “if you don’t want them to find out, I’d get dressed.”
Your head jerked up, eyes meeting his intense, expressionless stare. What was he thinking? What did he suspect? Was he going to tell?
He wasn’t giving you anything to go on!
Diverting your attention to the floor, you muttered, “Don’t look.”
He didn’t argue and out of the corner of your eye, you saw him silently leave the room.
Your thoughts raced as you rushed to get dressed (in the safety of a locked bathroom). You had just pulled down your pullover sweater when someone burst through the door.
“Ellie~” You hated the way your chest clenched when Jimin singsonged the nickname.
You cleared your throat anxiously before answering “in here”, not trusting that Taehyung had kept what he’d seen a secret.
Packing your belongings into your shower bag, you nervously ran a hand through your hair and stepped out from the bathroom.
You didn’t even make it a full step before an overexcited Jimin ran into your arms, coming to hide behind you.
Once the moment of surprise passed, you understood the situation as Jungkook came barreling into the room after him. His eyes flit across the room, swiftly settling on you and it was clear that he was calculating the fastest way to get Jimin. You shrunk back into the man perched behind you, preparing for impact. Jimin giggled.
“Wait, wait, wait,” You held up your available hand, hoping to delay Jungkook’s attack until after you were out of the way. Whatever Jimin had done had nothing to do with you and you were pleading for Jungkook to remember that.
Jungkook’s sharp gaze turned to you, “This is aiding and abetting.”
You couldn’t stop the surprised scoff that left you at his unexpected words. Turning to look over your shoulder, you asked, “What did you do?”
Pulling back, he raised his hands and shook his head innocently.
“Nothing!” He promised.
Taking the opportunity to move away, you shuffled over to your bed, placing your shower bag on the floor. At that moment, Taehyung waltzed in and took in the commotion in the room, his eyes hesitating a second longer on you. Your shoulders tensed and your heartbeat picked up, but he didn’t say anything and instead turned his attention to the other two.
Jungkook and Jimin were shoving each other, but it was obvious from the massive smiles on their faces that it was all fun and games. When they noticed Taehyung, they split apart and Jimin went over to him and slid an arm over his shoulders. Taehyung didn’t react, having some kind of silent conversation with Jungkook that sent your nerves spiraling.
Jimin didn’t seem to have any interest in the exchange, which made you feel a little less paranoid, but you still had unease set deep inside you. His hand was absentmindedly tracing patterns into Taehyung’s clavicle, his gaze lazily tracing the room until it landed on you. The unexpected eye-contact almost made you jump, but you managed to shove down the instinctual response. The mischievous grin that made its way onto his lips had you fidgeting with the hem of your sweater. You didn’t know what that look meant and you were afraid to find out.
In a way that almost looked like he was dancing, Jimin turned away from Taehyung and took a step towards you.
“You guys don’t usually come back on the weekends,” You forced out in an attempt to stop Jimin from coming too close and making your stomach feel funny.
Although he didn’t embrace you in one of his hugs, he did come to sit beside where you stood and grabbed your hand, playing with your fingers absentmindedly.
Would you ever get used to how familiar he acted with you? As far as he knew, you were a boy. Why was he being so touchy? Was he into men? You didn’t know what to think or how to act, so you just did your best to ignore it.
“Jimin wanted to see you,” Jungkook outed with a giggle. You stiffened.
“Yeah, after Jungkook mentioned that it might seem like we were avoiding you,” Jimin tugged at your hand to get you to look at him, “You know we aren’t avoiding you, right?” He looked up at you with wide, sincere eyes.
You gulped, barely managing a nod. It hadn’t even occurred to you that they might be avoiding you. They didn’t have any reason to be around you in the first place, much less a reason to avoid you. At least they didn’t have a reason until…
You glanced at Taehyung. He’d moved to lay on his bed, Jungkook beside him, staring at you. His hair was getting longer, reaching past his cheeks now. He pulled off the overgrown-mane look much better than you did.
“Let’s go eat something,” Taehyung suggested, suddenly sitting up. Jungkook lit up at the idea, scrambling off the bed.
“Korean barbeque?” He looked like a bunny, bouncing after Taehyung.
Because your attention was diverted, you didn’t notice Jimin leaning closer until it was too late. You let out a squeal as he wrapped his arms around you and lifted you up.
“Let’s go!” He cheered, manhandling you out the door.
“I don’t—wait!” Your pleas fell on deaf ears as Jungkook joined in and you were muscled into the elevator.
Jimin started rattling off all the reason’s Korean barbeque was the superior food as Jungkook pressed the button for the ground floor and the elevator doors slid shut.
“What’s your favorite food?” You jumped at the unexpected voice in your ear and turned to see Taehyung tilting his head curiously at you.
Jimin and Jungkook fell silent, looking equally as curious to know your opinion.
“I-I don’t know.” It was the most honest answer you could give.
“Have you ever tried Korean food?” Jungkook asked. You were hesitant to answer because if you said no, then they would probably force you to try it, and if you said yes…well that was a straight up lie, one you had no way to back up.
You shook your head no and held in the dread as they took your hands and waited for the doors to open.
When the four of you got to the parking lot, a fight of who got shotgun broke out, but it quickly changed to a fight over who got to sit next to you.
“You’re his roommate! You get to spend time with him all the time!” Jimin accused Taehyung.
“No, I’m too busy with you two.” He denied calmly.
“What about me?” Jungkook whined.
“It’s your car, you have to drive,” Jimin waved off, turning back to Taehyung. You felt like the new toy in kindergarten that everyone wanted to play with.
“Don’t fight, I’ll just stay here. You guys go have fun.”
You all ended up on the bus.
The four of you had had to squish into two seats as the bus continued to fill with people. Taehyung had the window seat, staring out silently, you were half on his seat, half on Jungkook’s — who sat in the aisle seat — and Jimin was perched on his knee, holding the pole for balance.
You’d never been in a bus so packed, but you supposed that being in the city now, there were a lot more people who used public transportation.
“I’m staying home next time.” You grumbled, shifting slightly as the uncomfortable plastic dug into your bum — or lack thereof.
Nobody responded though you were sure that at least Taehyung had heard you.
The ride wasn’t long, (thank goodness) but your muscles were still becoming sore from clenching so hard in an attempt not to slam into either man every time the bus made a turn.
Jimin was up and excusing his way off the bus before you’d even realized it was your stop, Jungkook not far behind him. You immediately noticed the absence of Jungkook’s heat, though, and scrambled to follow after them. Of course, you had the decency to make sure Taehyung was following, unlike the other two who hadn’t bothered to look back even once.
Stepping out of the bus felt like stepping back into a room with breathable air. You weren’t sure you’d ever appreciated space so much.
Looking around, there weren’t many people on the streets, but that made sense as the weather was getting colder and no one wanted to be outside. You definitely didn’t want to be outside. The cold crept inside your bones like regret, leaving you shivering on the sidewalk.
“Where to?” You pushed, eager to get inside.
Jungkook must’ve noticed you stuffing your hands deep into the pockets of your ill-fitted jeans because he bounced over and wrapped his arms around your shoulders. With him hanging off you like an overgrown sloth, you both shuffled after Taehyung and Jimin, who led the way.
You’d had the entire bus ride to get used to their proximity, but you still weren’t completely comfortable with it. Your friends back home had always seen you as a little too fragile to manhandle or roughhouse, but they’d never questioned your weight because you’d always been an underweight kid, and well, they were male.
With Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook, you were afraid to show weakness or fragility, fearing they might ask questions about your health. With any normal person that wouldn’t have been an issue, but those three were just so damn touchy.
Jungkook’s warm breath fanned across your neck, creating goosebumps on your skin, but you resisted the shiver that threatened to follow.
You didn’t end up having to walk far, the smell of Korean barbeque filling your senses.
“Smells good, huh?” There was a smugness to Jimin’s expression, prompting you not to respond and you shifted your gaze to the road.
…
After a waiter put hot coals into the small barbeque in the center of the table, you eagerly held out your hands to the warmth it gave off. You’d been inside for more than fifteen minutes and you had yet to stop shivering. In fact, the shivering had gotten worse.Jimin worried his bottom lip as he assessed you and you gave him, what you hoped, was a reassuring smile.
The more pressing issue was the heavy smell of food in the air that caused your stomach to roll. You hadn’t eaten in a while and the richness of it all was making you nauseous — though you weren’t about to admit that.
Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook ordered for you, as you’d never tried anything Korean before. It was all their favorites and you were intimidated by the amount when everything was set on the table.
“Try this!” Jimin ordered, thrusting what looked like salsa dipped cabbage in your face. You couldn’t bring yourself to deny the beautiful man, so you opened your mouth and took the bite, knowing full well you’d be throwing everything up later that night. The pleased look on all their faces made it worth it.
You were a very unique child, raised as a boy with the genetics of a girl. This year, you were escaping to St. Helena College, a famous university. All on your own now, you had to find a way to get through college while staying under the radar. That was going to be a feat when you were hiding from the perceptive eyes and genius mind of your dorm mate Taehyung and his two best friends, Jimin and Jungkook.
Warnings:Crossdressing, anorexia, and disguised child abuse. Please read with caution if you think this might be triggering.
——————–
“All packed?” Your mother asked gently, petting your head lovingly.
“Yeah,” you were always a shy kid, a recluse inside yourself. This was showcased in the meager items you had packed to bring with you.
“Are you sure that this is all you want to bring?” Your father worried.
You looked over what you were taking. Your favorite shirts, a new pack of underwear, a few pairs of jeans, 2 sweats, a hoodie, a pair of pajamas, shoes, a small first aid kit, and a couple of miscellaneous things. You’d also packed a suit, just in case.
“What about shampoo? A toothbrush?” It was your mother who was worried this time.
“I’ll buy them new when I get there,” you assured, placing your carry-on bag next to the open duffle.
“Oh, I’m going to miss you,” your mother gushed, yanking you into a bone-crushing hug. You patted the teary-eyed woman’s back, uncomfortable with the sudden affection.
“It’ll be fine,” you muttered, pulling away.
“And don’t cheat your diet again! You don’t want to gain weight and start menstruating again,” she reminded.
“I know.”
“And don’t change in any locker rooms!” Your father pitched in. As if you could forget.
You nodded, quietly letting them get out all their worries and reminders while zipping up your duffle. You were anxious to get to the airport.
“I know you hate it, love, but it’s for your own good. Girls don’t get treated in society the same way boys do, we just want what’s best for you,” Your mother sympathized as she took in your pained expression, but you’d heard this lecture more times than you could count.
You sighed, giving your mother a smile, “I know, mom. You worry too much, I’ll be fine.”
“Oh, we just love you so much!” She gushed, bringing your father and you in for a group hug.
“I love you too. The taxi will be here soon though, I need to get downstairs,” You reminded, stepping out of reach.
“Come on, honey, we don’t want to make him late,” Your father chided, guiding your mother out of your room.
Him. You hated the word.
Picking up your bags, you heaved them out of your room and to the front door. It was perfect timing too, the taxi had just pulled up.
“I love you! Be safe! Make smart choices!” Your mother called as you shuffled out the front door.
You too. You thought back, giving the taxi man a smile as he got out of the car to open the trunk.
“Thanks,” you breathed out as he lifted your bags into the trunk. He nodded in return.
Slipping into the back seat, you sent your parents one last wave as the taxi pulled away.
You were staring out the window, lost in thought when the driver said something, pulling you back to reality.
“I’m sorry?”
“Off to college?” he repeated.
“Oh, yes,” the conversation fizzled out there.
The rest of the drive was exactly how you liked it—quiet and uneventful. You were able to zone out with your headphones, daydreaming as you stared out the window. The time danced by with the notes of the music, making the ride seem much faster than it was.
“Here you are, young man,” the driver grinned, removing your bags and setting them before you on the sidewalk.
You nodded and gave a cursory smile in appreciation to the man, handing him the money you owed for the ride.
“Have a safe flight!” He called, getting back into the car and pulling out into the hectic traffic of the airport drop-off.
You nodded to yourself, an action meant to help build your confidence for the upcoming events.
With your ticket in hand, you entered the large building, getting in line to check your bags. There was a group of women on the other side of the rope guidelines, giving you flirtatious glances and your skin instantly crawled. You wanted to shrink into yourself and disappear.
Avoiding eye contact, you noticed a service dog walking by. Perking up slightly, you admired the dedication the animal had to its job of helping his disabled owner.
You had always defaulted to animals, feeling calmer around them. Maybe it was because they didn’t care, maybe it was because they didn’t talk, you didn’t really know. But you loved them.
Not wanting to be rude by staring, you turned away, startling yourself as you realized you’d turned back towards the women.
They were cooing at you.
Just leave me alone. You thought bitterly, wiping your clammy hands onto your loose jeans and taking a shaky breath.
You didn’t understand what about you was so attractive to other women. You weren’t tall, maybe 5’7, and your frame was thin and scrawny, not much muscle on you at all. Your shaggy hair was always a mess and you had no style or ‘swagger’ whatsoever. It just didn’t make sense to you why so many females tried to flirt.
You turned your attention to the ticket in your hand, your name in bold letters at the top; Elliot Wiley.
You frowned, you’d always hated your name.
Your body language only got stiffer and stiffer as the line moved on until you eventually checked your bags, got through security, and boarded the plane.
Your seat number was C-16, right between a mother and her infant and a tired businessman. You hoped the flight wouldn’t be like the movies where he fell asleep on your shoulder and the baby screamed nonstop.
The mother gave you a friendly, if not somewhat awkward smile as you squeezed past her and you tried not to cringe away when your legs brushed. Unfortunately, the plane you were in was one of those planes that stuffed as many passengers as possible in the cabin, leaving ridiculously small seats that made it nearly impossible to avoid touching your neighbor.
You sat down and put your belt on, picking nervously at the dirt under your nails, impatient for the plane to take off.
“Nervous flyer?” You flinched back when the woman next to you murmured in your ear.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m Delilah, this is Elle” the woman smiled apologetically, motioning to the small creature asleep in her arms.
You nodded in forgiveness, your voice quiet and timid as usual as you returned the introduction, “Elliot.”
“Is this your first time flying?” The woman’s voice was still calm, patient.
You hesitated before nodding. She smiled reassuringly.
“I was terrified the first time I flew, but it’s really not as scary as you think. After a while, you forget you’re even in the air.”
Right. you’ll just conveniently forget you’re thousands of feet off the ground. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.
“Thanks,” you muttered anyways, turning away.
Come to find, the woman was right. After the initial take-off and the occasional turbulence, the flight wasn’t bad. It didn’t feel like you were hurtling through the air at alarming speeds, instead, the world floated by almost peacefully outside the window. You couldn’t see much over the businessman’s shoulder, but whenever they passed a mountain, it was a unique experience to observe something you’d seen a thousand times, but at a completely different angle.
The landing of the plane was by far the most nerve-wracking part of the entire flight. Getting so close to the ground, seeing no runway, no runway, no runway, and suddenly—BAM! You hit the runway. The ‘wrrr’ of the engines working overtime, the terrifying hum of flaps fighting the air. It had your heart beating erratically in fear.
“Thank you for flying with us, we hope you had a good flight!” a flight attendant bid adieu as you and the rest of the passengers filed off the plane. The second you stepped out off the plane and into the tunnel, it suddenly felt like gravity was pulling at you differently. You’d never appreciated solid ground quite so much.
The trip to baggage claim was longer than you’d expected, giving the fear that your bag might get stolen plenty of time to arise in your chest.
Relief flooded you when you saw bags still getting spit out and glee filled you when your light brown leather duffle came toppling down onto the slowly circulating belt.
Snatching it up quickly, not wanting to lose sight of it, you headed out of the airport. You were supposed to take a bus to the city the college was located, but the papers were in your smaller carry on bag.
Setting your things down beside you, you shuffled through the bag, pulling out the envelope you’d stuffed all your necessary documents in.
Reading the name off the printed receipt, you looked around for the bus stop, pleased to find that it wasn’t a very far walk.
By the time you reached your dorm room, the sun had long since passed, leaving you worried that your roommate might’ve already checked in and you were in danger of waking them up.
Opening the plain wooden door as quietly as you could, you popped your head in, looking around. It looked like a basic room—two twin beds across from each other, a desk and chair between them, and a chest at the base of each bed. On the right wall, there was another door, leading to what you assumed was the shared bathroom.
Your heart beat faster when you took in the sleeping figure spread out on the left bed. Tip-toeing in as quietly as possible, you gently placed your bags beside the other bed and sat on the mattress. Thankfully, the bed wasn’t loud, so there was no risk of waking your roommate that way.
You tapped your fingers against your knees anxiously. You hadn’t planned on getting in so late and now it was too late to pick up a new pillow and bedding. Letting out a small sigh, you grabbed your navy blue pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt, then as quietly as possible, you slipped into the bathroom to change.
Looking at yourself in the mirror one last time before you slipped back into the room, you frowned at your shaggy locks. It fell just passed your jaw in a very messy fashion and it was even longer in the back, reaching the base of your neck.
I really do need a haircut. You thought bitterly.
Shuffling back into the room and climbing onto the bare mattress, you curled into yourself and let your eyes slide shut.
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