hold me tight (or don’t).

tenrk

ten’s started feeling a little nervous when sicheng watches him. ever since the kiss he’s felt like there’s something thick and invisible between them, as though there’s a constantly vibrating string attached to them that’ll make a loud, alarming noise if they get too far away, or too close. even now, as he holds the rifle and stares at the little cans he can feel something vibrating between them, the feeling of sicheng’s eyes on him raising goosebumps all down his arms. often he wonders if sicheng can feel it too, or whether he’s alone in this strange, tense situation he’s found himself in with his roommate. 

hearing sicheng speak with such utter certainty at ten’s abilities sends shivers down his spine. he remembers all the times when he was a trainee and idol that he’d wish someone would have faith in him, and tell him how much they believed in him. instead, the doubts and worries that people thought he was a weak link swam in his mind unchallenged. his breath shakes when sicheng calls him perfect, a flush arising on the apples of his cheeks. he can tell he’s moving closer, as though some sort of frequency between them is buzzing and vibrating louder and faster. it’s a prickly feeling down his back, and a warmth under his skin. 

“beginner’s luck, i’m sure.” ten says softly, glancing at sicheng then right back at the cans, moving the rifle to aim at another. he shoots, and for a second he thinks he’s missed, but the can teeters and falls, and he can’t help but smile. “or maybe i am just good.” he laughs, the sound of the can being hit, and falling from it’s perch drawing him out of his own head. 

whenever sicheng is in ten’s presence, there’s like some sort of invisible magnet that pulls him in closer. it has effects on him ranging from physical to emotional. not only does he feel fonder, but he also seems to gravitate towards him, closing more and more space with every second. he’s curious and wants to see what ten sees, which is how he ends up right by his side, occasionally leaning down to look over ten’s shoulder, his face level with the older’s. he tries not to be too invasive or suffocating, but it’s also as if he can’t help it. 

“bullshit.” sicheng grins, very softly laughing as he turns to briefly look at ten instead of what he’s doing. he thinks maybe he’s distracted him and somehow managed to throw him off his game when it seems like he’s missed at first, but then it eventually falls anyway and sicheng smiles even wider, laughing along with ten. “yeah, just like i said. beginner’s luck…” he says it in a playful, mocking way, shaking his head. “beginner’s luck my ass. you aregood.” he finally takes a step back, not wanting to cause any discomfort or make it so that ten can’t properly concentrate. “i just hope i can do as well as you are, because i absolutely refuse to leave until i have something for you since you’re more than likely going to win this.”

hold me tight (or don’t).

tenrk

ten knows this is something couples do - win each other prises on games like this - but he can’t help but want to do it. part of it’s because couples do it, he thinks. it’s the simplest thing he can do that makes things feel a way they aren’t. he can pretend, if only for a second, that they’re a couple, and indulge in something he really shouldn’t be indulging in. he wants sicheng to look at a stuffed animal ten won him and think of ten. though, in all fairness, ten wishes sicheng would think about him all the time. 

“i’ll go first, then.” he says, paying to play the game. taking up the air rifle he turns his body to the side and lifts the rifle up high so he can look through the little aiming thingy on the top. despite having done this before, he’s never learnt the proper terminology for the parts of the rifle - so aiming thingy it is. “i haven’t done this in years, so don’t expect too much.” he warns sicheng, before shooting at the first little can and knocking it off the shelf its sat on. 

“alright, let’s see what you’ve got.” his sentence is accompanied by a fond smile, though it’s also challenging in a way. he crosses his arms over his chest and takes a step back to entirely examine ten and his efforts. it’s allsoendearing to him, and he can’t do anything to resist the way his heart feels like it’s beating faster in his chest. though, at this point, he doesn’t think he’d want to even if he could. his feelings come as a bit of a rush, and it’s one that he seems to enjoy. even though he has his moments where he feels guilt and regret, it’s still not something he wants to try getting over.

“from you?” he pauses, then teasingly adds, “i expect everything. come on, there’s nothing you can’t do.” as if it’s his goal to prove sicheng right, ten hits the first can and knocks it off its shelf, causing his grin to grow as he lets out a soft, happy laugh. “see? you’re literally perfect. i don’t think you could fail at anything even if you tried.” he takes a step closer, watching ten as he concentrates and trying to ignore the way he longs to wrap his arms around him from behind and press kisses into the crook of his neck. “you’ve got this, keep going.”

hold me tight (or don’t).

tenrk

as time passes, and ten exists in the same space as sicheng day in, and day out, things feel increasingly more tense. it’s not so much a bad kind of tense, but the tension between them is hard to ignore. ten wonders if it’s all in his head, surrounding his feelings, and his confusion regarding his feelings for sicheng. maybe sicheng doesn’t feel the same tension that ten feels, maybe he’s blissfully unaware of ten’s internal suffering. 

even so, he manages to still enjoy his time with sicheng, wandering through the park in the sunshine, smiling as he fights the temptation to grab sichengs hand. “mmm… let’s play a game first. see if we can win each other stuffed animals? what animal would you pick?” he asks, sidling up to a air rifle shooting game and looking up at the array of cute stuffed animals. he pictures sicheng as a chick sometimes - little and fluffy and sweet. but, other times, there’s something far more ferocious about him, something ten would even say is sexy. the animals hanging up though are all far too cute to be big dangerous animals, even if there is a very adorable tiger plushie. “i’d pick the cat, obviously.” 

something about the way ten suggests that they see if they can win each other stuffed animals makes sicheng’s heart skip a beat. he always ends up reading too much into things and feeling all weird inside, even with the simplest of things. he thinks to himself that it’s kind of pathetic that he’s like this, but it’s impossible to linger on it when all he can seem to focus on is the smile on ten’s face and how incredibly beautiful he looks in the sunshine… this is hopeless.

“alright, that sounds like a plan.” he turns to look at all of the different animals that he could choose from, trying to decide which one was calling out to him the most. eventually, he ends up saying, “i’m not sure. if you can manage to win one for me, i’d want you to choose. i think that’d make it more special.” he pauses and quietly laughs, then adds, “but the tiger looks cool.” as soon as ten shares which one he’d pick (which is entirely expected), sicheng internally vows to get it for him one way or another. “i guess we better start playing then, because i’m not leaving here until you have what you want.”

♟ starter for @tenrk​!

they grow closer with each day that passes, or so that’s how it feels to sicheng. although the kiss did make things slightly more complicated for a while, and some of sicheng’s nights are still occupied by constantly thinking about it and replaying the moment in his head, he feels like they’ve mostly moved on from that (whether or not he thinks that’s a good thing, he isn’t sure). he wants to spend every waking moment in ten’s presence and whenever something fun or exciting rolls around, he always wants to share it with his roommate. he’s content, light, and even happy as they walk side-by-side, the back of his hand occasionally brushing against ten’s while he tries not to focus on how much he wants to take and hold it.

“are you hungry?” he looks over at the older boy, a soft smile on his lips. “if you’re not yet, we could try to play a game and see if we can win something…” there are other things that call out to him, too, such as the tarot reading tent, but he wonders if he’d obsess over whatever he hears if he does something like that. he isn’t entirely sure what all of it is about, but that doesn’t stop him from fearing the outcome.

The Ultimate Mania Theory

Hey, so I’ve had this theory for a long time, and my friend told me I should post it because they think it’s much more believable than the theories they’ve seen, but give me your thoughts?

I THINK MANIA COULD BE PATRICK’S FOLIE À DEUX… HERE’S WHY.

1. Folie à Deux

So, let’s start with explaining Folie à Deux’s back story. Now I’m sure we all know what Folie à Deux’s concept is, but in case you don’t, I’ll clarify and explain it really quick.

As most of us likely know, Folie is Pete’s promise to Patrick he won’t lose himself.

The first mention of this significance is What a Catch, Donnie.

Now Donny Hathaway was a musician who killed himself after claiming people were going to hook his mind up to machines and steal his ideas, which is why the song is called What a Catch Donnie.

Roberta Flack is a woman that Donny got famous doing collaborations with.

In What a Catch, Patrick plays the role of Flack, while Pete plays Donny.

This story also seems to bear mention in other tracks within the album, such as 27.

“My mind is a safe and if I keep it then we all get rich.”

Furthermore, on the cover of Folie, there is a man in a bear suit supporting the weight of a bear upon his shoulders. This is supposed to be representative of Patrick holding Pete up, and Patrick being in the suit showing that Pete isn’t alone or crazy, but they’re alike.

This is also why the album is entitled Folie à Deux.

The madness of two.

2. Truant Wave

Shortly after Folie à Deux’s release, Patrick Stump pursued a solo career. In this time he released an album (Soul Punk), but he also released a lesser known EP, entitled Truant Wave.

Now while this isn’t the main point of me bringing up Truant Wave, it does seem worth mentioning that this album also has a song called Porcelain in it- Which seems to follow an underlying theme that Mania shares- feeling fake to his audience.

More importantly however, there is a song called Big Hype that’s also on the EP, which while it could easily be taken as Patrick showing distaste for Folie à Deux getting such negative feedback, it also seems to speak of a sort of sporadic mood change.

“Big hype,

Big letdown.

Though it’s easy to forget if you keep it on the ground.”

And though, while I don’t think it’s extremely likely it was unintentional, but Patrick does have synthesia, the album’s art also consists of a certain color that is acknowledged as the awareness color for bipolar disorder; Green.

3. Mania, and how it all connects.

In the lyrics of Hold Me Tight Or Don’t, Patrick sings the line

“And when your stitch comes loose,

I wanna sleep on every piece of fuzz,

And stuffing that comes out of you.”

Now, referring back to our knowledge of what the Folie album cover stands for, this could be paying tribute to Patrick’s suit he’s depicted in. Saying that if Patrick falls apart, Pete will be there for him, just as Patrick always was.

Now, in the album Mania, it consists of a very sporadic sound. Very dependent on quick pace changes and mood swings. Representative of no other than Mania, or Manic Depression, or Bipolar Disorder. As is seemingly capable of being correlated to- you guessed it- Big Hype.

If this seems like a stretch, however. Let’s refer to MANIA’S album cover. It’s a wave.

Like Truant Wave.

This is why Young and Menace is so slow paced and then fast all the sudden, why the chorus to Hold Me Tight is a contradiction in and of itself, and why so many other songs on the album seem to follow this narrative.

That is why I think of Mania as Patrick’s Folie à Deux. Patrick’s promise to Pete. A note to Patrick’s mentality instead of Pete’s.

If you enjoyed this (if anyone even read it),I would be more than happy to write more, I have plenty other theories to share! (Soul Punk, Allie, Headfirst Slide, Saturday, etc., etc) Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!

-Allie