So I did a watch party with my friend to introduce him to Strangers From Hell (based on a brief description I gave him)
Except he said he wanted to skip straight to the last episode (so he could finally “finish” a kdrama) but then asked me to recap the whole series up to the end of Episode 09
I cobbled together everything from memory and sent it to him as I remembered it, trying to (possibly over-)simplify some stuff but still include the most salient points, all before we started the ep but dear lord
Looking back at the messages, in rapid GIF form, it’s the most unhinged assortment of meandering garbage brain rot I’ve ever seen in my life
8 year old Dick’s third trip to Bruce’s office and being so helpful that he pressed ALL the elevator buttons so that they could shout good morning to each floor
*ding*
“Dick, this is the eighty-second floor, could we please–”
“Good morale is a preeminent factor in all workplace environments. I saw it on Discovery Science, CSPAN, and also Bill Nye. HELLO EIGHTY-SECOND FLOOR!”
25-year-old Dick doing the same exact thing. The people on the floors now yell back.
Ok, but consider-
Dick teaching this to Damian. Using all the argument he’s built up for Bruce over the years and, “Yes Damian this is important to workplace moral”. And Damian has no choice but to believe Dick that, This is just how things are done because everyone yells back.
Jump to Bruce being worried about taking Damian to the office with him for the first time and Damian is just like, “tch, Do not worry Father I have been trained on proper workplace procedure.” Which only had Bruce more worried until Damian proceeds to hit every single elevator button and, when the doors open, in his most proper voice, “Salutations Second Floor.”
There is of course a chorus of “Good Morning"s and “Hello Damian"s
Bruce is so completely frozen in shock that doesn’t say anything as the process repeats on every single floor. and he can only nod and say “Good Job” when Damian looks to him for approval once they’re done.
#damian gets LIVID when tim doesnt do it when he goes in because what kind of morale is he promoting around here?? what kind of boss is he??#and tim is just DESPERATELY trying to get to his office or tam will kill him for real this time (via @overdramaticrobins)
“Damian.”
“Drake.”
“You pressed all the buttons.”
“How astute. Father will be pleased to hear of this mental uptick. Someday, somehow, we’ll get you to college.”
“I have a job. You are literally here, with me, at my job.”
“I concede that you have a job but you are not doing it well.“
“Oh, joy, suggestions from the peanut gallery. So what will it be, public executions for sending the wrong emails to archive? Institute blood oaths at the entrance? Being put in the stocks for leaving your lunch in the fridge for a we—hang on, that’s not a bad idea.”
“Tt. Do not presume my intentions, Drake.”
“—And maybe I can get Digger Harson to finally back off on the Waybucks being open to NFTs, that son of a—”
“Drake. Good morale is a preeminent factor in all workplace environments.”
“Huh? Oh. You know what else is good morale? Not seeing your boss get choked with a stapler by his personal assistant. I know I always feel good when I don’t get choked by a stapler.”
“You don’t understand. These studies were curated by the most trustworthy sources.”
“I bet Lois and Clark also like not being choked with staplers.”
“Drake.”
“What?”
“…We have to. We have to do it.”
“Why?”
“We just do!”
“Damian, I am already late. Do you know how much this will set me behind? Or did you plan this, purposely waiting until my back was turned and you could turn this hell morning into a hell afternoon, because that’s how long this is going to take!”
“Please.”
“…Fine.”
“Thank you.”
“I already said fine.”
“You have to wave at them.”
“At who?”
“Everyone.”
“What do you mea—we’RE SAYING HELLO TO EVERY FLOOR?!”
“Another astute observation.”
“Damian—”
“Smile, Drake. These people are pretending that they’re happy to see you.”
Tim opens his mouth, but the elevator dings open.
“Salutations, fifteenth floor.”
“Good morning, Damian! Hello, Mr. Drake!”
“Oh. Uh. Hi.”
The elevator closes.
“They were…happy. To see us.”
“A third observation that is, once again, astute. You know, Drake, if you keep this up, you may one day grow up to be a detective.”
“Cute. Just for that, I’m telling Tam that it was you who made us late. Something about stopping off for pedialyte, because of all the diarrhea—”
![[ominous latin chanting]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/avatar_e3c15a7811e0_30.png){kind=avatar}
