#i feel like i cant do this much longer

I am in so much pain today. My mental health is taking a hit too. I have no one to vent to since I’m the “therapist” or “sunshine energy” friend, and no one wants to hear about my issues. They’ve shown me that… I feel alone at the moment. I try so hard to keep up my bubbly and optimistic persona, but it’s hard today… it’s hard to smile genuinely. It’s hard even to think that this will get better. I’ve been in a full-blown lupus flare for two years, which has caused my health to decline rapidly. I’m a very independent person, so losing my independence slowly is fucking with me. I’m on the verge of a breakdown. I just want the pain the stop…I want to stop feeling so tired and weak…I just want it all to stop.