#emotional breakdown
I am in so much pain today. My mental health is taking a hit too. I have no one to vent to since I’m the “therapist” or “sunshine energy” friend, and no one wants to hear about my issues. They’ve shown me that… I feel alone at the moment. I try so hard to keep up my bubbly and optimistic persona, but it’s hard today… it’s hard to smile genuinely. It’s hard even to think that this will get better. I’ve been in a full-blown lupus flare for two years, which has caused my health to decline rapidly. I’m a very independent person, so losing my independence slowly is fucking with me. I’m on the verge of a breakdown. I just want the pain the stop…I want to stop feeling so tired and weak…I just want it all to stop.
to celebrate twosday (22/2/2022), treat yourself to twomental breakdowns!!
illusion
the bell jar - sylvia plath
Me: “Wow I’ve been pretty mentally stable lately!”
My brain: “Go to waffle house at 3am.”
Me: “Oh no it’s the first sign of distress.”
ColdBreakdown
Deku was having another breakdown. It was sunny outside, but sitting by himself in the classroom he could only feel cold. So, so cold. A complete contrast with the overheat his thoughts made in his head.
“I’m not enogh…” “I hate it here…” “I want to rest… No, I can’t rest…” “I can’t depend on anybody…” “…” “Would anyone actually miss me if I was gone…?”
It was sunny outside, Bakugo didn’t want to get sweaty and accidentaly blow something up, so he just wanted to wait for class in the quiet of the classroom. He really didn’t mean to find Deku there, no, neither eavesdrop on his conversation with himself. Still, he couldn’t stay still after hearing that.
The blond walked across the room without his usual loud manner and Deku was too deep in thoughts to notice his presence. Not even when he stopped right in front of his desk, not even when he bended down beside his chair. From there, Bakugo realised how much Izuku’s eyes were shining and how tremble his body was, the rarsh words coming from those wounded lips doing nothing but worsening the shine on those big eyes. Enogh, he had enogh of that.
“De- Izuku…” his voice came out deep due to his low tune, lacking his usual bitterness but still containing his impatience.
The sudden sound made Deku jump in his seat and straighten his body. The sudden movement made a tear escape from him right eye.
“H-huh…?”
“Calm down, Nerd, it’s just me.” He said as he standed up, now looking down at Izuku. “What were you saying there by yourself, huh?”
The shock cooled down, but his panick was still very present. Deku couldn’t bring himself to think, nor move his body at all. He was frozen staring at Bakugo’s face and didn’t know what to do. For surprise of both, that was the trigger needed to start Izuku’s tears falling flow.
“Shit!” A curse was the only thing he could get out of his mouth as his body moved on its own towards the desk. His arms prontly wrapped themselves around the boy, and in a second they pulled him closer to his chest. Eye contact witched into skin contact.
The comfort of a hug being too much to handle, Deku broke down at that moment. Heavy tears swimmed down his face, along with gradually louder sobs - that were still really low - and a body that seemed to tremble almost as much as someone who had hypotermia.
His sobs wouldn’t let him talk, but his thoughts did the work of remembering him of his flaws instead, which was makung his flow of tears deeppen every second. Untill Bakugo started to interupt them with his own words.
“I would never get stabbed for someone I wouldn’t miss.” “Someone who isn’t strong wouldn’t be able to use more than five quirks at the same time.” “I won’t let you save everybody but yoursel.”
Deku couldn’t stop, it wasn’t him who controlled his body anymore, everything hurted him and he just wanted to run away. But somehow Kacchan’s hug felt safe. Even in the middle of that cold storm, he could feel his warm body against his.
No warm hug had ever stopped his breakdowns to fall depper, though.
.
.
.
Continue?
are you even chronically ill if you’ve never cried on the phone to your pharmacy?
