#i got yelled at again

Sharing a smoke with Hades

So I have this nice little jar I put Hades offerings in and I had a cigarette in it for him because he likes tobacco, I had a really stressful day, full of family drama and absolutely malarkey, a few days ago and ran out of cigarettes so I ended up taking the one from his jar. I said many apologizes and asked if I could have it and he didn’t mind but definitely wanted it replaced. Last night I projected and he was there in the field Persephone had made me, he seemed deep in thought, Ezilion gave me a nudge toward Hades and he looked up and saw me there.

H: Are you… hiding from me?

Me: No! No, you looked like you had a lot on your mind so I was just going to go to over to that space and just thought maybe you wanted some time?

H: *laughs* Ah, I see. How have you been? You seem well.

Me: the usual, hurting, writing, and full of self loathing.

Hades shook his head at me and sighed, he pulled from his robes what (honestly) looked like an old metal cigarette holder. He lit one with the tap of his finger on the end, it smelled like a mix of tobacco and honey. He took a long drag before forcefully exhaling and looking at me.

H: You will be your undoing child. Self loathing has no place here.

Me: I know its -

H: Do Not Interrupt Me

He said each word very clearly.

H: You are a follower of Persephone, you are a follower of Myself. You may have days where you do not like yourself, but hating yourself is poison. You have worked so hard to be the kind of person you are, you have worked hard DESPITE the things that were meant to put you down. You are stronger than what you think.

With a shimmer Persephone joined and placed a hand on his shoulder. He took another drag and exhaled it normally.

H: I only say this because I watch you struggle.

P: dear child, we are here to lend you wisdom and strength when you cannot carry on. Do not be afraid to ask.

I just stood there dumbfounded really. I didn’t know what to say. Its not everyday you get an ass chewing from a deity. Ezilion came and nudged me away from them before knocking me back. I didn’t sleep well last night, I tossed and turned and had dreams of every mean thing I was ever told as a child…

This morning when I got up, I took a cigarette out of my pack and walked out front to smoke it, when I came back and sat down, there was a cigarette sitting on my bedside table waiting to be put in the jar, I didn’t take an extra one out of the pack but it was just sitting there. I definitely put it in Hades jar.