My dragon has been very active in my life, it makes me feel empowered in a sense. He has been steering me in what I feel is the right direction. Last night I decided to jump into the astral.
When I got there I went straight to the spot Persephone had made me and it made me sad since I haven’t been working with her and vice versa, it made me miss her. So I plucked a few of the flowers and set them on a nice spot and gave a small thank you for her guiding wisdom in the time I got to work with her.
After that I made my way towards Ezilion, he was rolling around a chunk of something, bored…
E: do not sneak up on me child
Me: I didn’t have any intention of sneaking but I’m sorry if I scared you.
Ezilion, breathing a cloud of smoke: You dumb child you couldn’t scare me if I were a common lizard, you certainly couldn’t scare me as a dragon.
I rolled my eyes in response and he blew smoke at me, I pulled out my journal that has all of my information on him out and began asking random questions that threw him off guard. A get to know you questionnaire. He flicked his tail in approval and began answering my question no matter how trivial they were to him.
I always hear him when I’m out shopping and he’ll tell me he likes something or wants something and most times I just laugh and indulge him. I’ve learned a lot about him over the last few times I’ve gone to see him. I’ll share everything if he’s ok with it. He’s definitely an interesting dragon lol
Long time no post!! I’ve been extremely busy expanding my knowledge on the different paths of witchcraft and researching, it’s been an interesting journey and I believe I’ve found which path I’m going to go down next.
On a different note I think my kitten is connected to my dragon in some way or may even be a familiar… I have a small altar for him set up next to my bed because low spoons and all, but every once in a while she’ll climb up my shelf and only mess with his section so I’ll usually light his candle and the flame dances happily.
BUT
I’ve think I’ve found the path that Hades and Ezilion were both talking about and it’s going to be rough… Hades is pushing and hinting at shadow work, which I’m all for working through my traumas to find why I am the way I am.
I’ve also began automatic writing and learning how to decipher it’s meanings, Ezilion seems to really like communicating that way, I’ve also began getting to know him better. He’s pretty interesting and has some questionable hobbies (lol) but I feel like I’m ready to start this new chapter and I can’t wait to see the witch I become going down this path.
Please excuse this rant, it’s been bottled up for a while….
It’s been a rough 24 hours…
My aunt’s got Covid
I’m being ignored by my best friend and my husband (which doesn’t make my anxiety feel good)
(I’m about to sound so selfish and IDGAF) my needs aren’t being met or the goals I thought my husband and I had set aren’t being met…
I’m tired, I haven’t slept in so long
………
I feel like Ezilion is the only one who cares which is saying something since y'all know how his attitude and general self is. I’ve been in my thoughts all morning being mad and depressed and he nudged me to light an incense and a tea light for him. Which I obliged.
The flame of his tea light is small and calm and I feel a warmth and it only makes me want to cry more, it’s almost like he’s wrapped his wings around me. My heart rate has slowed down from it’s panic and I feel a slow warmth. Again my anxiety tells me it’s a fever and I’ve got Covid…. Ezilion kind of flicks those thoughts away with his tail…. Hades had been on edge and almost yelling at me because I haven’t been taking care of myself because of my depression. Which of course only makes me feel like complete and utter shit….
I’m just at a loss…
I haven’t been able to travel because I can’t get in the ‘right’ mind set. I can feel Hades and Ezilion but feeling and seeing are of course 2 different things….
How I’m feeling makes me feel like I’m not good at my craft… Or I’m not strong enough to walk down the paths Hades wants me to…
It’s been a while since I actually wrote on what’s going on and I gotta say I’m confused. A few days ago I was watching TV when I heard some weird creaking noise, when I looked around I saw one of Persephone’s jars fell over and then a few second later the other one followed. I said ok and got up and lit her a tea light and it burned for 6 hours…. A tea light!!
Then yesterday I felt weird, I’m not sure how else to describe it, and I told my husband I felt like Persephone didn’t want to work with me anymore. He asked me why and I said I wasn’t sure, a little while later I was standing in front of my altar looking at it and he asked me if he thought it was because my friend (who isn’t a witch) would leave offerings for both Hades and Persephone. I thought for a second and responded I didn’t know and I’d have to go into the astral to talk with them.
Last night after my husband went to sleep, I decided to project. When I got there Ezilion, Persephone and Hades were all waiting there. For the first time in a while I was a little nervous to be in the astral.
H: Good, you finally got the message.
E: I keep telling you she’s not the brightest
I stood there for a second and Persephone smiled somberly and walked towards me and grabbed my hand leading me away from the others. We walked hand in hand for a while in silence and she brought me to the little meadow she made me. We sat in silence for what felt like forever until I decided to break it
Me: did I do something wrong?
She smiled and let out a jolly laugh that made me feel giddy
P: no child, you did nothing wrong, but I do think you have outgrown what I can teach you.
Me: but that means you’ll leave right? I don’t want you to leave.
She placed a hand on my head and smiled at me again
P: I will always be with you even when you can’t feel me there.
I was worried. The last deity that had helped me through something major in my life, left without a word and I don’t feel her at all anymore.
Me: is it because my friend left you things?
P: no child, your friend leaving offerings wasn’t the issue. You have learned what I needed you to learn about yourself.
Me: what was the lesson? I don’t feel like I’ve learned anything new…
P: Self love. Balance. Duality. Strength. Feminity. Child, you have learned much in our time together.
Me: but, I still need you, especially for all of those things!
I started feeling distressed and could feel myself almost lose the connection, she placed a hand on my shoulder and calmed me.
Me: I need you because I’m still not strong enough….
P: you have been through so much and came out with self respect and confidence. That’s all I could teach you at this time, child I do not mean I will stay away forever but until you need that extra push again, I will be gone. You may deconstruct my side of the altar, just don’t forget me or my lessons.
I just stared at her, I felt like I had let her down. Hades began walking toward us and I felt my heart drop.
H: I, however, will be here with the dragon, you still have much to work on and learn.
I felt a wave of relief honestly.
Me: for how long?
H: until you have learned what I need you to. I see talent in you for a path you’ve yet to discover or fear to walk down.
Me: which is?
I began getting impatient and felt like it was all a big joke at my expense.
Hades let out a hearty chuckle.
H: in do time child. In due time.
I felt the ground shake as Ezilion tromped towards us, he blew a ring of smoke and knocked me back into my bed where I tossed and turned dreaming about being left alone in a field.
I feel so empty currently, I can feel Persephone but not as strongly as I did before. Ezilion is going to be here to stay (no matter what) but I’m not sure how much time or even what I’m supposed to learn from Hades… I guess time will tell.
It has been a while since I posted and I apologize, there has been way too much drama in my life.
My astral travels have been…. Interesting, for a lack of a better word. It’s been a while since I’ve seenHades or Persephone, but I can still feel them and when I leave an offering a candle will react as kind of like a ‘Hey, we are still here we didn’t abandon you’ kind of response.
Ezilion though, he’s a full force I can feel burning in the pit of my stomach telling me, he has never left and will always be by my side. Ezilion has become a demanding force in my life and I’m thrilled he chose me. He reminds me regularly how far I’ve come.
I reorganized my altar, again, if only my ADD would leave it alone lol
Excuse the trash bag, but this i THINK is going to be the final set up but then again I’ve said that at least 4 or 5 times now since I started posting about my journey.
I’ve been doing a lot of 'soul searching’ recently and it’s tired… My soul is tired of the drama I’m in but given the situation I can not up and leave just yet, not at least for a few more months… Ezilion and deities give me strength to stay or freeze my heart not to care.
So I have this nice little jar I put Hades offerings in and I had a cigarette in it for him because he likes tobacco, I had a really stressful day, full of family drama and absolutely malarkey, a few days ago and ran out of cigarettes so I ended up taking the one from his jar. I said many apologizes and asked if I could have it and he didn’t mind but definitely wanted it replaced. Last night I projected and he was there in the field Persephone had made me, he seemed deep in thought, Ezilion gave me a nudge toward Hades and he looked up and saw me there.
H: Are you… hiding from me?
Me: No! No, you looked like you had a lot on your mind so I was just going to go to over to that space and just thought maybe you wanted some time?
H: *laughs* Ah, I see. How have you been? You seem well.
Me: the usual, hurting, writing, and full of self loathing.
Hades shook his head at me and sighed, he pulled from his robes what (honestly) looked like an old metal cigarette holder. He lit one with the tap of his finger on the end, it smelled like a mix of tobacco and honey. He took a long drag before forcefully exhaling and looking at me.
H: You will be your undoing child. Self loathing has no place here.
Me: I know its -
H: Do Not Interrupt Me
He said each word very clearly.
H: You are a follower of Persephone, you are a follower of Myself. You may have days where you do not like yourself, but hating yourself is poison. You have worked so hard to be the kind of person you are, you have worked hard DESPITE the things that were meant to put you down. You are stronger than what you think.
With a shimmer Persephone joined and placed a hand on his shoulder. He took another drag and exhaled it normally.
H: I only say this because I watch you struggle.
P: dear child, we are here to lend you wisdom and strength when you cannot carry on. Do not be afraid to ask.
I just stood there dumbfounded really. I didn’t know what to say. Its not everyday you get an ass chewing from a deity. Ezilion came and nudged me away from them before knocking me back. I didn’t sleep well last night, I tossed and turned and had dreams of every mean thing I was ever told as a child…
This morning when I got up, I took a cigarette out of my pack and walked out front to smoke it, when I came back and sat down, there was a cigarette sitting on my bedside table waiting to be put in the jar, I didn’t take an extra one out of the pack but it was just sitting there. I definitely put it in Hades jar.
Well… he didn’t ACTUALLY blush but the sentiment was there. I’m a terrible writer, in the sense I’ve projected A LOT recently and haven’t shared my experiences with you. So ill hit some key points and write about last night’s excursion.
Ezilion still thinks I look like a dandelion fuzz but has gotten used to the look
Persephone has been very impressed with how I’ve been carrying myself, she told me shoulders back and head held high and I have been
She also visits me in my dreams frequently (I really should look into lucid dreaming)
Hades is also proud of how I put my foot down with my aunt and I’m not wavering even though she’s family
He doesn’t really visit my dreams often but when he does its to yell at me about self care, which is about once a week right now
Ezilion was extremely flattered by the extensive research I rewrote on dragons in my grimoire, he knew I had it digitally but to see it ALL written was exciting to him (about 16 pages)
He was also a little giddy about having his own page in there
Ezilion has promised that in the next few weeks he would begin guiding me through that section that gives me bad vibes (its dangerous. I’m aware. I’ve already recharged and recasted my wards as well as charged my asteal protection spell bottles, I trust my guide as he trusts me and believes I’m ready.)
Now that Persephone is back on Earth, I see Hades less (he says he’s been rather busy, which I fully believe. I saw him last week and he seemed somber and looked tired mostly)
My husband is very supportive of my practice and has been from the beginning or rather when he found out and last night he wished me a Happy Beltane before going to sleep and it made me feel warm and fuzzy
Beltane 2020 astral
I made Ezilion blush a little (not really, more figuratively), when I projected last night, being in a bubbly mood (yay alcohol) I saw Ezilion and gave him a bow and he was rather amused because I was tipsy. I drank more than half a bottle of prosecco and I’d rather smoke than drink so, it didn’t take much ANYWAY I felt light and giddy. I even danced around him a little bit and he chuckled at me.
E: what are you doing?
Me: dancing! It’s Beltane!
E: ah yes, I miss those days, I used to see tons of flower crowns, smell the vanilla from he baking and would watch the humans enjoy the festivities.
Me: you dirty dragon!
E:*scoffs* please.
I then stopped dancing and ran full speed toward the field my goddess made me, Ezilion was yelling after me about being careful and when I got the I plucked some of the flowers and made a haphazard flower crown (embarrassed to say I’ve never ACTUALLY made one), I took it back to him and he looked confused at the tiny (comparatively) ring and then shocked.
Me: Happy Beltane!!
E: i… thank you, blessed Beltane to you child.
He then blew a cloud of smoke and disappeared, I was left in the Astral for the first time in a while, I couldn’t help but feel lonely, my space is always occupied but it gave me a moment of peace. I stared into the darkness and watched it bend and jump as a sign it was time to leave, I stood up, relaxed and fell back dropping peacefully in my body (which THAT hasn’t happened in a LONG time lol) I felt peaceful and happy as I fell asleep.
I didn’t get any pictures, I feel bad lol but I didn’t do anything big. My husband is an ‘essential worker’ and has been working 6 days a week for the last month and a half so nothing lustful happened but I’ve never been confident enough in myself to try sex magick so I wasn’t too upset lol.
I’ve spent the last 5 or 6 weeks hand writing all my information in a physical grimorie. I finished one full book of research and started my herbs and plants now. My first one has 158 pages in it and I’ve never been so proud of myself for writing all that I did, there’s so much information in it and its not even the tip of the iceberg, maybe I’ll show some of my favorite pages later but ANYWAY
Beltane 2020! I hung out with my kitties, began writing in my other grimorie about herbs and plants, fed the birds and squirrels outside, repotted my succulents, shared a drink with Hades and Persephone, lit a candle (no bonfires here), I even projected last night and said hello to Ezilion lol (ill do a separate post about my travels the last few weeks in a bit) but over all it was a wonderful day. I really wanted to bake some cookies but never got around to it.
I’ve been rather quiet lately, I’ve been rewriting my grimoire and I’ve almost finished a book of it! Next is flower language and herbology, I’ve just about given myself carpel tunnel
I got this lovely Cerberus ring to honor Hades, and I’m wearing it on the same hand I’m wearing Persephones pomegranate ring, I lit his candle after I got it and talked with him a minute, he seemed flattered and really liked it and Persephone seemed radiant with happiness.
I found these leggings at walmart and the print screamed “Persephone and Hades” I had to get them, they’re so pretty
I havent done any spells or casting recently, but I have taken interest in capnomancy/ libanomancy. I’ve done a lot of traveling in the astral lately and I’ll update soon about that.
So after I made my posts yesterday, I felt this sense of being watched, but like… you know how you stare at someone and wait for them to look at you? It was like that. So i dived into some mythology to clear my head and of course ended up reading Hades and Persephones story for the billionth time. I kept feeling this mental poke when I would read Hades name.
I had a fairly standard day until my aunts complete utter melt down (I mean crying, convulsing, collapsing melt down) then I was completely drained. Mentally. Emotionally. Just exhausted. I’m a bit of an empath and it’s hard for me not to absorb everything despite the charms and crystals I have.
I was visited in my dreams but not by Persephone…. a tall thin man, he was rather pale (comparitive to persephone anyway), he was dressed in a navy or black grecian robe, he had loooooooooong hair, he had a very handsome face and a stern look etched into it. He did the finger waggle at me and told me I needed to stop giving my energy away and I need to ward better and take care of myself and on and on… he ranted at me about self care for what felt like hours. At the end of it he sighed and patted my head, i looked up and Persephone was standing next to him with a smile. She placed a hand on his shoulder and that was it. I slept dreamless and peacefully for the first time in a few weeks.
So I think Hades wants to work with me? Persephone popped in and was like ‘I think shes had enough for today’ and he was like 'she needs to be told these things dear’. So I think today I’m going to make an official offering to Hades to see if he accepts and would like to be my Patron diety wish me luck I’ve never worked with a Male deity before…. if he does I’ll be tweaking the altar…. AGAIN
So I make these anklets when I feel these urges… I dont ever have a set color when I start but as soon as I look into my container of beads something whispers to me and tells me which to pick and what pattern to do. The pearl one I made right before Ezilion ‘came back into my life’ (if you dont know Ezilion has been following me since a child and I forgot him, check out #ezilion to read the story) I’m not sure why he chose white pearls because he is black with red accents but I think it’s because they’re shiny and look like real perals, the middle one I made right before Persephone came into my life and I just finished the Red and black one… I’m not sure who that one is for but I have a pretty decent idea.
I wear them everyday and they make me feel like every step I take they’re with me. Does anyone else feel the need to do something before a deity comes to work with them? Any rituals?
I was visited last night in my dreams again… She seemed so sad and disappointed so I inquired…
She was disappointed in me and sad at my decisions lately, not my magical journey but my recovery journey. In high school I was almost 300lbs and mildly bulimic, I would binge and binge and binge and then purge until I felt like collapsing. I managed to beat it and lose almost 80 lbs healthly but as of recently I’ve found myself going back into binging and even thinking about purging.
In my dream, she kind of shook me by my shoulders and the look on her face was do distraught I started crying in my dream and even while I was sleeping, tears were rolling down my cheek. She told me that my recent habits had made her want to look in my subconscious to see what was wrong, since I cant lucid dream yet I couldn’t respond, all I could feel was her worry. She told me she would help me fight this again and beat it just like I had before.
On a happier note, I ordered a set of pomegranate jewelry that came in the mail
I have the earrings hanging on her offering dish, the necklace hanging off my altar and I’ve decided to wear the ring as a reminder Persephone is watching me and is there with me and she is going to help me through my hardest times even if it means killing one self and birthing a higher one. I will stop this before it happens again.
Hi peeps, I’m Hailee, baby witch <3 So ik there are a lot of witches just starting out, with sooo many questions, so I’ll be posting a question everyday for experienced witches to answer, to maybe help us outtt.
Do you use a grimoire, or a Book of shadows ? If so, what do you put in it, how do you use it ?
Hi Hailee!
I use a Grimoire! I used to have a Book of Shadows when I was practicing Wicca, but then I pursued Paganism after learning that Wicca wasn’t really for me.
For my Grimoire, I mainly put spells and rituals inside of it, as well as anything regarding Draconic witchcraft, Astrology, and many other things I’ve been learning at this point. I also use it as a journal from time to time since I like to look back on how I was thinking, even if it was a year or less ago!
I’m an experienced practitioner so I don’t put the basics in this Grimoire. I have older ones that have those type of tips and notes on basic Witchcraft practices and correspondences.
I do like following certain prompts for the journal entries though. Like, what has witchcraft been like up to this point? What changes have you seen within yourself? What skills do you feel confident about, and what should you work on more? It’s important for me to reflect on how far I’ve come as a witch and the things that I still need to work on or want to pursue in the future!
This is just something I personally do though. It’s wonderful to hear about everyone’s experiences and techniques in their practice! ✨
