#i really missed him
As I stated yesterday, M came back today!!! I am beyond thrilled that he has arrived, and he’s been acting happy as ever to be out again. I missed him so much — and he’s somehow gotten way more awesome since last time I saw him!!
I won’t ramble too much and I’ll get into the highlights of today. AHHH. Lots of stuff.
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When I first entered the band hall, M walked out of his office within the room. I was still standing, slightly leaning over my chair by the time he cut off the band from their warmup. I, of course, stopped what I was doing as well to look up at him. I saw him gazing at me with a huge smile on his face, cheeks squishing his eyes shut. It was absolutely adorable. I was already beaming, but this made me so, so happy.
He talked for a while, first saying how it was so great to be back and see us all again. He told us, as he got vaccinated, he had milder symptoms. That was a relief to hear. He mentioned a rehearsal we had today as well and told those who were a part of it not to forget. He looked straight at me while saying it. Lucky for M, I don’t think I would ever forget about an opportunity to spend more time with him.
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While he spoke, I’m not quite sure what he had said exactly, but I had smiled and bit my lip. Right as I did this, he looked straight at me. I saw him smile even more than he had been beforehand seeing my expression. In addition, a little bit after this, I was looking away for a moment and I looked back to see him looking at me again, but this time somewhere around my lips. I probably started blushing a little because wow, haha.
~~
He would keep looking at me during warmups, like full-on stares, for seconds at a time. Even while I breathed. I would stare right back until he’d look away. It was surreal. There was this one particular moment I keep thinking about; the whole band was all together on Concert F, yet M stared at me alone for a solid three seconds. Oh my god, I missed this. ❤️
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We had just finished playing a part of one of our piece. It was a weird section with sort of interesting rhythms (in the tuba world at least). My friend was gone momentarily, so it was just me at the very moment. M had just stopped us, and I smiled softly, satisfied with my playing and at the fact he was here right now.
Just as my tuba landed lightly on my lap where I laid it, I suddenly heard M’s voice raise. “And TUBAS NEED TO PLAY LOUDER.” He called over, grinning wildly with his teeth in my direction as he looked at my shock-ridden face.
I shot my tuba back up as fast as lightning, and all the while, my eyes were wide as saucers, and I was smiling hard. “Okay..” I chuckled. He spoke calmer now and locked eyes with me again. “This is a big moment for you, so you need to play LOUD.” I nodded, holding in a light giggle as I wrote this down. He watched me do so for a little bit then looked away.
~~
Random, but at one point during class as well, U had said something, and everyone was laughing. I was too. When I looked back at M, he was looking at me, smiling too. I thought that was so cute. ❤️ Maybe he wanted to see if I was laughing.
~~ MOVING ONTO REHEARSALS
When I walked into the band hall after school, I had seen M talking to one of the students in the middle of the room. I was so caught off guard by seeing him, but I almost couldn’t stop staring. He looked so good in the outfit he wore today. This guy REALLY knows how to dress up. He never fails to blow me away.
After gathering my things, I was heading towards the rehearsal room through the hall, and as I approached the wide-open door, I saw M and another director standing and talking. But when I was visible from the hallway door, M could not stop glancing back at me. He was smiling so much too.
I couldn’t help but do the same. I stared at him practically the whole way there, only looking away from brief moments so he didn’t think I was being weird or anything. I was fairly comfortable with my tuba in my arms, backpack on my shoulders, and whatnot. Super happy.
When I walked into the room, the only obvious open space was RIGHT NEXT TO THE TWO, and M was standing closest.Naturally, I went ahead and walked over that way. He was looking at me, so I turned my head to the right, towards where I would be sitting, then in front of me again. Just so it could seem like I wasn’t just…staring at him.
Soon after I began to move, I heard Mr. Williams begin to talk to me. I stopped in place, right in front of him, to listen. Mr. Smith just began to walk away as he asked me. “Is it just you, or is [tubist] coming here too?” His eye contact was pleasant. “It’s just me. Just me,” I repeated, as the room was pretty loud.
He nodded for a second he slowly began to move past me. My attention never broke; my pupils followed him, although he was looking in front of him now. He was close to my side. “I might add another tuba,” he stated. He quickly added, “I’m thickening the crop.” “Alright.” I smiled and nodded just as he passed me. I then made my way to my seat.
When I began to play my tuba and tune myself, I played loud on purpose, so I could show M that I was capable of doing so. I kept sneaking small glances at him and the director as they both began to talk again. They were talking about me.
I was looking at M, and he had his eyes locked on me. I saw him mouth the word “tuba”. He looked so concentrated and full of thought, with his eyebrows furrowed and whatnot. It was so cute. He pointed in my direction as he spoke as well. I looked away as to not interrupt them, but I do wonder how that conversation went.
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The band started playing, and for about more than half of the time, I was not playing at all. I was just watching him do his thing. He’s so beautiful. The way he conducted was elegant and I was mesmerized. He didn’t do it too much, but he would occasionally shoot glances at me. Once I was just putting my tuba down after realizing I’d be waiting a while, and he looked at me. That guy is so magical. I don’t know why or how, but he is. Literally so beautiful.
~~
The parts I finally played in, he always told me to play louder. First, he told me to play the two beats going into a new phrase louder when the first time, I quite honestly did not play at all. I had gotten lost in the sauce and didn’t know which measure we were on.
Once I fixed my mistake, he looked at me and smiled. “By the way, R, that was way better. You can play as loud as possible on this piece.” I smiled as well, both at him and the statement. “Cool.” I was doing flips on the inside. ❤️ On another segment, he wanted me to literally play the triple forte on the page. He wanted me to GO AT IT.
When I did, although he said nothing specifically to me, you could just tell he LOVED it. The loud sounds of the brass have the piece some shine, or whatever he had said back there. Haha. We played our last rep of the piece, ended on the last loud note, and he paused. “Something like that.” He awkwardly smiled and spoke in response to the rep, then thanked us all. I was then dismissed.
When I was walking to the door to leave, he very obviously scrambled to grab his things; his smile was wide and his eyes were panicked. I heard quick and rapid shuffling on the table he was using, and the guy even let out a tiny groan when he couldn’t pick up what he needed. Part of me wants to think it was so he could leave alongside me, because he got to the door just after I did.
He pushed the door open for me from behind when I was halfway done walking out. That was nice of him. He moved to walk right next to me in the hallway for a moment. “Welcome back!” I smiled at him, but don’t think he heard me, as I was a little quiet anyway.
“They play so loud in there, huh?” He commented with the slightest hint of a smile as he picked up his pace. When we exited the practice hall, he thanked me and the others thereafter. “Thank you guys!!” He smiled. I did the same, smiling at him. The last I saw of him was him walking towards his office. Then the Wednesday school day came to a close.
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I am so blessed and thankful to have this guy in my life. He has brought me so many amazing things in life, and he’s just amazing company in general. I love the dude so much, and I really do look forward to the future experiences we will have together.
Hoping everyone is doing alright!! Cases have been coming to a surge over here, so this is a reminder to wash your hands and be cautious!! ❤️ Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed reliving it!
