I think we should write unnecessary sequels to public-domain classics.
I wanna read Dracula 2: Sherlock Holmes and the Curse of Dracula’s Ghost. I wanna read Pride and Prejudice 2: Elizabeth Has a Gun.
This is literally Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
No, it’s not. P&P&Z is a re-imagining of the original plot, not a sequel. I want to give Elizabeth a gun after the events of the first novel are concluded.
who would Elizabeth have beef enough to kill over with?
Idk, I haven’t actually read P&P since school and I honestly don’t remember it all that well, but that’s the magic of writing unnecessary sequels to public-domain works. It could be whoever we want it to be.
George Wickham.
Lydia comes to Pemberley for a visit, sans her husband because Darcy will not let that man set foot in their house after what he did to Georgiana. And she’s just as bubbly as usual, just as chatty. Until Darcy makes his excuses and leaves the two sisters sitting in front of the fire, and after a slight pause Lydia informs Lizzy that she can’t imagine how she manages to stay happy with a man so serious and grim as Darcy.
Lizzy, who knows her husband well enough by now, and that he was, in fact, smiling for most of dinner, tells her that they are well suited for each other and she is light enough for both of them.
After another pause, Lydia turns dark serious eyes to her eldest sister and asks in a tremulous, “Is he cruel to you too?”
Because we know George Wickham. We know what he is. He’s the man who tried to seduce a fifteen year old girl (Georgiana) for her fortune. He’s the man who ran off with Lydia Bennet, then also fifteen and the youngest of five sisters, knowing her family would be forced to give him her dowry and pay for them to marry her or else she’d be ruined. All the sisters would. And Lizzy knew, she knew the man was a rake and a cad. She’d even seen the way he yanked her arm in the carriage that first time they came home after their elopement. But somehow she’d still hoped that he’d try to make her happy. That hope is dead now.
Though not as dead as Wickham’s about to be.
It would be quite easy, she thinks, to make it look like a hunting accident. But then she wouldn’t get to see the fear in Wickham’s eyes. She wants him to know, you see. She wants to watch the charm and bravado drain from his face as he hears the pistol cock and realizes his final fatal error. Because while it might be a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife, there is yet another greater universal truth he failed to recognize.
Don’t fuck with the Bennet sisters; they will end you.
Hypnosis and petplay :( getting called a pet name and dropping onto all fours before you even realize you’re doing it :( happily nuzzling into your dom’s touch and drooling on command :( whining and moaning on the floor while they abuse your holes and overstimulate you until you cry but you don’t want it to stop bc you just wanna be a good pet :((((
Yesterday I overheard someone talking about how he was taking classes at the University of Maryland because they offer free tuition if you’re over 60.
My brain IMMEDIATELY began scripting a screwball comedy in which a broke millennial who desperately want to finish his long-abandoned degree but is drowning in student debt pretends to be a senior citizen in order to attend college for free.
I’m picturing someone Channing Tatumesque, applying age makeup every morning before he heads off to class. It’s sort of a cross between 21 Jump Street and Mrs. Doubtfire. He keeps forgetting which hip is supposed to be his bad one. His classmates laugh every time he uses slang. There’s definitely a scene where he attends a college party and busts it up on the dance floor.
He catches the eye of a fellow returning student, a woman in her 50s, but she thinks he’s like 70 and she’s already buried one husband, you know? She’s not interested in doing that again. When his charade unravels (hilariously) at the end of the movie, though, she finds out he’s actually like 30 and has abs you could bounce a quarter off. And he’s still super into her. And really, maybe it’s time she gave May-December romance a chance.
Okay so to refine this concept a little:
Our Hero is stuck in a job where he keep seeing people get promoted past him because they have a 4-year degree and he doesn’t. He can’t afford to go back to school until he finishes paying off his student loans for the degree he’s one semester from completing. If he got the promotion he wants he could pay them off a lot quicker. But he can’t get the promotion without the degree.
Along comes a clerical error in his almost-alma mater’s records which lists his birth year as 1948 instead of 1984. He gets a call from them about their “free tuition for seniors” program. “Wow, that sounds amazing!” he says. “I’ll be sure to tell my, uh, grandpa, as soon as he gets home.”
It’s one semester. If he can keep up the charade, he’ll have the degree, get the promotion, pay off the student loans. Hell, if they figure it out after the fact and come after him for the tuition, he’ll be able to afford it by then. He just needs to pass as a 70-year-old until graduation. How hard could it be?
(also, someone in the notes suggested “Senior Year” for a title, which is PERFECT.)
