#imagine harry
Today was just tough.The lectures were pretty hard and the list of essays to write became longer and longer.
I came home, took my shoes off and fell on the couch,not capable to do anything anymore.
But I chose this path,right?I’ve been working my ass off to get into this exact university,to move to London,to get a scholarship.I’ve done it all myself.And that’d be stupid to stop going forward after everything I’ve already done.
But I’m exhausted and tired.Still I have tons of things to do.
Ok,Y/N,enough whining,go get everything done.
3am
Writing that third deadlined essay.That’s a miracle,that my eyes aren’t closed.I’m sleeping inside.That’s why I’m tapping on my laptop slower and slower.
Harry got home earlier in the evening.We had a dinner together ,and I got back to work.Listened a few of his disagrees, of course ,but after an hour he was asleep,because got back from the rehersale tired as well.
I made myself one more cup of coffee.I’ve no idea how I’m going to wake up at 8am tomorrow.But I can’t afford to care about sleep as well or I’ll go insane.
“You still here?”,Harry comes in the kitchen
“Um…yeah,still need to finish this one”
“Let’s go to sleep.You can finish this tomorrow,or should I say later today?”
“No,it’s deadlined and I know that I won’t do this in the morning”
I go back to the writing but he still stands behind me.
It starts getting anoying,because it’s hard to think and write about something,when somebody is looking at you non-stop.So I repeat one tense in my had million times,and still can’t figure out if that makes sense.
“Have you saved the file,love?”
“No?Why?”
He comes to my laptop,saves the draft and closes the computer.Takes it and goes out of the room.
“Wait,what?I need to finish it!Give it back!”
But he doesn’t seem to listen.
“Harry!Stop it! It’s ridiculous!”
He’s already in the bedroom so I come in and see him in the bed with the laptop laying on my side of it.
“Come on,pet.You can do it in the morning.What an essay can be good if the author is asleep,writing it?”
“You don’t understand anything.That’s important!”
“Maybe I don’t have a lot of education,but I know,that you can’t function without sleep.So shut your pretty mouth and get in the bed”
“Maybe you’re right…..ok,whatever,you won”
“Told you,love.Now come here”
He opens his arms and I fall into his hug.That’s the best feeling in the world so I’m relaxed after a minute or so.
I’ll worry and panic about everything tomorrow. Or should I say today?
Acting cold is what you should do to get a man,right?Well it worked in my situation.
Everytime we pass each other in the hallway he looks me in the eyes and I act like I don’t see him.When he stares at me from the other corner of the room I make an eye contact once,continuing talking.And when he comes to me to talk I always have some important things to do so I walk away saying “Later,Styles”
I know how he wants me.Not because of me.Because he always gets what he wants but not this time.That drives him crazy,but he likes playing.He’s so into this game we play.
When I walk away from him again I can hear him swearing but I know for sure,that he’s smiling and wants more.
I can’t even talk to other boys now.He’s always there.I can tell you his new routine when he sees me with some guy.
First he looks jealously at the guy then if he sees me smiling or laughing he comes to us slowly,looking all serious.
“Hey,Y/N”
“What do you need,Styles?”
“Just making sure you’re not bored,because judging by your look…”
“I’m ok.You can go now”
“See you soon,Y/L/N”
“Hope not,Styles”
Everytime.It’s kinda funny.
We have a lot of mutual friends.So we meet a lot.We go to the same parties and events.
And today is one of those days when we came to the same club to the same party again.
I see him right when I come into the building.He stands there drinking something and talking to some girl that he’s not interested in.You can tell it by the way he looks at the entrance,like he’s waiting for someone.And that someone is me.Because as soon as I walk in, his eyes began to sparkle and he said a quick goodbye to the girl.
I come further in the club to my friends.
“Wasn’t expecting to meet you here,Y/L/N”
“Don’t lie,I know you did.That’s why you here”
And I walk away from him to greet my friends that invited me here.
“Why is such a pretty lady,sitting here all alone?”
I know this voice.You can’t forget it if you heard it just once.
“Because,goodbye,that’s why”
I stand up from the bar stool that i’ve been sitting on and go forward to the exit of the club.It’s the end of the night already.Half of my friends are too drunk to function and the other half is home.So I don’t want to waste any more time here.
I walk outside and breathe in the cold morning air
“Wait!”,Harry runs to me”It’s late I’ll drive you home”
“You’re drunk”
“Then…we’ll walk”,he smiles nervously
Harry Styles is nervous in front of the girl?That’s something new
“Whatever”
We start walking.My house is pretty far away from here,so it’s going to be a lot of time spent with Harry.
“Why do you always avoid me?”
He starts the conversation that I knew would happen.And didn’t want it with all of my heart.
“Do I?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about”
I really have no idea what to answer to that.I thought he won’t bring this up,since it’s just stupid.We both know what game we play.
For a long time we walked in silence.Harry sometimes took a quick glances at but nothing much.
“Are you cold?”he breaks the silence.
“No”
And that’s a huge lie.It’s freezing and I’m wearing a mini dress.I’m not sure,but I think he noticed me shaking.
Without saying a word he takes off his jacket and puts it on my shoulders.
A quite “thank you” comes out of my mouth.Harry nods and continues walking.
A little later we finally came to my house.
“So here we are”I nod at the house
Uncomfortable silence comes between us.I don’t know why I still stand in front of him when I could just walk away.But I fell like he wants to say something but not very sure about it.He raises his head up and looks me in the eyes,searching for something.
He puts his hand on my cheek and starts caressing it.I don’t move,because it feels right.
“Little do you know how i like you and want you”
And now I don’t know whether I’m shivering because I’m cold or because of his words.
“But do you feel it as well?”
I lightly nod and it seems like a green light for him.He kisses me deeply putting every single feeling in it.
“It’s a pitty because I liked your “you can’t own me” game”
He smiles.
Without a word I take his hand and we head to my house.
“Guess I won then”,he says when we come in.
(The gif is pretty random)
“Come on!You can do it just for one evening!”
“No.I’m telling you I’m not wearing a tie”
It’s been 10 minutes since we’ve started arguing with Harry about his look.
We’re going to my friend’s wedding and they have a dresscode.But Harry doesn’t semm to agree with that.
We only have five more minutes to get ready or we’ll be late.
“God! Is it so hard?!”
“You can’t make me do this.I look stupid in this tie”
“Fine then”,I sit right on the floor,”We’re not going anywhere”,I cross my arms and look right in front of me.
“Fine!”,he sits next to me.
So we sit like this,dressed fancy,me in a bridesmaid’s navy blue dress and Harry in hiss expensive ass Gucci suit.After a couple of minutes he starts staring at me.While I’m completly ignoring him.
“Love?”,he touches my hand gently
And all he gets is no response.
“Hun’,I’m sorry.Let’s go or we’ll be late”
He caresses my arm and I hate how he makes me react oh his touches.Cause now my whole arm is in the goosebumps.So when I’ve completly lost control on my body,I turn to him.
“We’re not going anywhere if you don’t wear a tie”
He looks into my eyes and decides whether I’m serious or he can ignore my request.But I stare back at him.
“Ok,fine.You won today”,he rolls his eyes,”But I have one condition”
“Whatever”
“Kiss me”,he smiles lightly
“Seriously,Harry?”
He nods.
I quickly kiss him on the cheeck and stand up.
“What was that?I want a real kiss”
“We don’t have time for that.Wear the tie and let’s go.”,I say,putting heels on.
I can’t say anything when Harry stands up and presses me into the wall,kissing deeply.
“Don’t tell me,we don’t have time for kissing.That’s one of many reasons why we’re together.Because I can kiss you wherever and whenever I want.One day I’ll mary you because of that.”,he leaves one more kiss on my neck and I swear he left a hickey on my collarbone.
“Now help me with the tie and let’s go”
Should I?
Postmodern Jukebox-cover look what you made me do (this song is pretty random and doesn’t belong here,but it’s cool and I wrote it to this song)
Everything remindes of him.I mean…EVERYTHING.It’s my apartment but feels like ours.I don’t even know why.We’ve spent here only a few days.Every single thing,piece of furniture looks like his.That’s why I can’t be here anymore.I need some fresh air. And a new apartment.
I don’t miss him.Not at all.If I’ve learnt something from our relationship than,it’s to move on quickly.Don’t take words close to heart.Harry has the temper and some issues with it.So I’m pretty used not to pay attention to rude words.Maybe because I knew,that the next morning he’ll be there,apologizing,begging,kneeling.Basically doing whatever he can to get a girl back.Because he needs someone next to him.Understanding and forgiving.That’s definilitly was me.But not anymore.And thanks god I’m not.
‘Cause I got smarter.And understood that it’s toxic.
But those memories drive me insane.My mind knows that it’s wrong and that I’ve already moved on a few months ago.But my heart just as stubborn as myself,so it keeps showing me pictures of our happy life together.Even though I know there’s one bad moment for every good one.
I walk through the dark London streets deep in my thoughts.Ignoring the world around.
Oh yeah!Here we go!Now I doubt every single thought about Harry.
Maybe he wasn’t so bad.Maybe I was just some little stupid girl not knowing a shit about human relationships.Maybe I didn’t become smarter,more like sillier.
I stand in front of his house.His house that used to be ours.
Should I call him?Or is it just my impulsive wish,because i need more attention?
What if he sees me and will think that I’m stalkering him now?No.It’s Harry.He won’t.He’ll think that I miss him.
But I don’t miss him.But why would I stand in front of his house then? I guess I miss us,not him in particular. Miss the feeling love and cared about. Miss someone calling me a million version of sweet names.
The light is on in the kitchen,and I think I can see his figure.Or I just have hallucinations because I’ve definilitly gone mad.That’s me kreeping next to my ex’s house
Calling him ex is weird.
Ok,whatever.I know that I’ll regret it tomorrow.But if you never try,you never know,right?
“Hey”
I quickly send the message and put my phone in the pocket.I’m so stupid
Hope he won’t answer.
“Hello,Y/N”
I hate him.I hate him.I hate him.
Why would he answer? If he didn’t, I would just go home and forget about this stupid walk.
“How are you doing?”
Stupid.That’s who you are, Y/N.Couldn’t ask anything better?
He replies in a few seconds
“Is everything ok?”
He knows.He knows me better than I do.And I hate him for it.
“Not really”
What did you just text him?!He’ll think that you’re duying or something.He’ll worry hella lot.And you just suddenly decided to remember about how happy you actually were.
“Something happened? Need any help? I can come”
As I said.Now he thinks that I’m in a car crash or fell from a bridge.
“No,don’t worry.Everything is ok,i don’t need any physical help”
Physical help?!Like get you out of Thames?! What are you doing?!Stop!
“Than what? I don’t understand”
Oh trust me,I don’t understand either.
So I stand,thinking about the answer.What should I say?
But he didn’t want to wait
“You know,you can tell me.What is it that’s wrong?
Tell me”
I have a feeling like he knows what’s going on with me. Is he trying to mock me for this?
“You know what?Don’t mind.It was a mistake”
Now my brain finally woke up.It was a blurr.And now I’m more angry at myself than at Harry
“I miss you”
Did he….did he just say that?He wrote it so easily like it was such an easy move.
Of course it was, you stupid head.He just did it, while you’ve been standing here and waiting for some miracle.
So here’s you miracle,Y/N.Hary Styles himself.A few meters away from you,sitting in his kitchen,that used to be yours as well.
“Can we meet someday?I’m genuinely sorry for everything that’s happened.
For everything I’ve done wrong…”
I can’t breathe.It’s such a mature act.But what should I answer? “Hey,I actually stand in front of your house looking into the windows”?!
“Please,Y/N.I need you”
Oh. my. god
“You can not answer me but.I know that you read it.And I want you to know,that I want us back.I want you back.I want you.”
Shit.shit.shit.Should I show up?If i do,he’ll think that I wasn’t replying ‘cause I’ve been going to his place.
“I love you”
Ok now i gotta show up.
And here comes the hardest part- to make myself knock.I’ve left the keys at home.
Count to five and knock
one
where’s all the air?
two
I probably shouldn’t do it
three
seriously,what if he’s lying?!
four
that’s the last second to run away
five
i love him
And so I knock on the door.
Was it too quite?Should I do it again?Or what if he’s in headphones and doesn’t hear me.And what if…
The door opens
“Y/n?”
Here he stands. Perfect as always. He looks tired from all the shows he’s been doing lately. He looks just like the last time I saw him. Confident, nervous and handsome.
“I’ve missed you, love”
He pulls me into the tightest hug, that feels like squezing my bones. That’s him. Now he feels the same. Loving, caring, generous.
He pulls back and looks me in the eyes.
“I’ll never let you go again”
“I don’t even care anymore.Do whatever the fuck you want”,I try not to yell at Harry, when he’s being a complete dick.
I grab my phone and get out of his appartment.It’s not even important what we’ve been arguing about.I’m tired.Tired of feeling such a tense everyday. That’s the point of life,when everything doesn’t feel right.There’s only one thought in my mind.”Tonight I gotta forget about everything.Doesn’t matter.Just let all the nerves go”
So I made a quick decision and now I’m dancing,in Sarah’s sparcling short dress, at some fancy club with a few friends.We’re all drunk and just enjoy the freedom.
“Hey,Y/N,who’s it? You’ve been starring at the screen for a couple of mins”
“Doesn’t matter.Unknown”
I turn the phone off,because Harry has been calling me non-stop.
And so the night went.We danced to some shitty club music,drank more than we should and actually forgot about everything.
But the show couldn’t go on in the club so we went “for a walk’
And know there are 6 absolutely drunk teens on the streets of London,not even knowing what they’re laughing at so loudly.
“Wanna swim?”,Sarah asks taking her shoues off
“You can’t swim in Thames!”,I shout and we all burst into laughing
“Who said,I can’t?!”,her dress falls on the ground
“Ok,that’s enough,get out of there.”
And three guys (friends of ours)grab her near the bank of the river and put her on the ground
“You are boring!”,she screams getting dressed
Now we are headed…I don’t know where we’re headed actually.But that’s fine. I’m too drunk to care anyway
“Y/N,why’s Harry calling me for the tenth time now?”,Sarah says,showing her phone to me
“I don’t know.Don’t pick up”
“Are you guys ok?You had an argument today?That’s why we randomly went to the club at Thursday?”
“No…No!I just like Thursdays,i guess…”
“Ok.Whatever you are about,I’ll pick up ‘cause he’s my boss,you know”
“No!Sarah!…”
“Hello?”…..”Um….yes”,she looks at me..”I don’t know actually.Somewhere near Thames”,she giggles”No,I’m not drunk.What are you talking about.I don’t drink”,she starts laughing so is everyone else,listening to her conversation”ok.do not move,i get it….”Thames is long,you know”…”ok,ok,don’t yell at me!”,she hangs up
“What was it about?”
“Harry said stand where we stand and don’t move,he’s on his way”
“NO!I don’t wanna see him.”
I turn to the other side and start walking away
“No,wait!”,Sarah screams”Can you give him just one chance.He seems sorry.”
“Who cares if he’s sorry or not!I don’t!”
I sit right on the bridge,where we stood.I know that trying to run away is usseles.He’ll find me anyway.Tonight,tomorrow,after a week.And that annoys me the most.Fuck rockstars.I’ll never ever will even talk to them.It’s too hard with them.
I get out of my thoughts,when I hear someone sits down near me.
I don’t even need to look,I know who this is.
My drunk self can’t stop from looking at him.He looks forward.Jaw is set.He’s tensed.Eyes not sparkling.Probably thinking about something deep.But I can’t tell for sure.With Harry you can never be sure.
“You know,I’ve been thinking,when you were gone”
He starts the conversation, or more likely a monolog,with his voice being deep and ruspy,not looking at me.
“First I’ve been angry ‘cause of the yelling and arguing.I even broke a few things…Then I had a “fuck it” mood.For like…ten minutes.And then I got extremly broken and hurt,I think I cried,I’m not sure actually.”
I’ve been listening to him carefully,not making a sound,feeling the tears being ready to pour.
And now we’re silent.He looks at the stone flour of the bridge.I look at him waiting for an ending.And again I’m not sure whether he wants to break up or not.It’s happening again.It’s all him.He makes me so nervous and confused all the time but still loved and happy at the same time.It’s just how he is.
Suddenly he looks me in the eyes.Locks the eye contact,trying to find something in my eyes.Love?He’ll definitely find it.But also with pain and confusion.And tears.
“What has happened next?”,I don’t recognize my voice,so quite and pathetic
“Next?…Next I got annoyed that you, being such a messy ass, didn’t take things out of your suitcase,and they’ve been all over the floor.And now I’m here,searched for you through the whole London to tell you to clean up your mess”
He says it without any laugh with the same quite voice.
“And right then I understood one thing”
His lips find mine and he kisses me gently without any pressure,scared to frighten.
I move away and then lean my forhead on his.
“What did you understand?”
“That I love you”
Hey,it’s my first writing.Let me know if you liked it and I’ll defo continue this one.
Lana del rey-groupie love
I stand in the crowd watching you sing.The crowd goes insane.My smile gets bigger when you take a quick glance at me.
We’ve started dating a few weeks ago and haven’t told anybody yet.He probably doesn’t want anyone to know, because he cares about his career too much.But I honestly don’t mind.Because Harry is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time.And we both aren’t really sure if our relationship is going to last long.But now we’re young and stupid so can do whatever we want.
We’ve met at his release party.Sarah (Harry’s drummer) is a good friend of mine so she invited me.And here he comes.All manly and charming
“Hello,loves.Who’s that pretty lady with you today,Sarah?”
“It’s Y/N. My best friend”
“Think you can get Y/N a drink?We’ll talk a bit here.”
“I’ll leave you to it”
And that’s how it all started.We could meet 10 days in a row or ignore each other for a month.I knew that I should not fall for him.He’s not temporarry at all.I don’t even know if he’s into monogamy.But……fuck it
While he looks at me and sings “ I must admit I thought I’d like to make you mine “ I’m ready for everything
Harry Styles
