I watched In Secret. Terrible movie. 10/10 would recommend. Trying to explain it to friends didn’t … translate exactly, so I made some visual aids.
Basic plot: Elizabeth Olsen is abandoned as a child in the care of her Aunt Jessica Lange and her cousin Consumption Draco Malfoy.
She is as desperate to bang as any human woman has ever been in the history of time. In an early scene, she watches a shirtless dude cut grass or harvest crops or whatever shirtless dudes do in the 1800s and gets off on it. She has needs.
Unfortunately for her, Aunt Jessica Lange forces her into marriage with Consumption Draco Malfoy, who isn’t all that interested in banging her or anyone. The three of them move to Paris. And then Consumption Draco Malfoy brings home Oscar Isaac, and the “plot” of the movie begins.
I watched In Secret. Terrible movie. 10/10 would recommend. Trying to explain it to friends didn’t … translate exactly, so I made some visual aids.
Basic plot: Elizabeth Olsen is abandoned as a child in the care of her Aunt Jessica Lange and her cousin Consumption Draco Malfoy.
She is as desperate to bang as any human woman has ever been in the history of time. In an early scene, she watches a shirtless dude cut grass or harvest crops or whatever shirtless dudes do in the 1800s and gets off on it. She has needs.
Unfortunately for her, Aunt Jessica Lange forces her into marriage with Consumption Draco Malfoy, who isn’t all that interested in banging her or anyone. The three of them move to Paris. And then Consumption Draco Malfoy brings home Oscar Isaac, and the “plot” of the movie begins.
If I had a nickle for every time I had a ship that was in hindsight canon for a good 12 years but never got complete confirmation because for one part it would have been a “cultural” no-go for half of the target audience and for another part the ship will absolutely not mention The Thing unless they are likely to die within minutes (that way we do get an one-sided verbal declaration); regardless, everybody they meet just assumes they belong together, including some of the writers; … then I would have two nickles. Which isn’t much, but weird that it happened twice.
