#in this together

This is ‘inspired’* by the most recent example I’ve seen of the following kind of statement. I see this ‘idea’ pop up in my feeds at least 1-2 times a week and it’s sadly misguided. I would like to expand on a twitter rant I had.

* a result of my utter exasperation.

[a screencap of a tweet that reads: mentally ill ppl: i feel horrible parent: “it’s all in your head” physically ill ppl: i feel horrible parent: “let’s get you to the doctor”]

Many people that are physically healthy but have experienced mental health issues (either themselves or of friends or relatives) don’t realize that their experience of mistreatment and stigmatization is actually common for both mental and physical health. I motion that it is actually the norm; especially for young people, and even more so for female (cis or presenting) people. The deeper issue isn’t with how mental health is dealt with compared to physical health it is how both society AND our various health systems just don’t work how we expect them to (and arguably, how they should work).

It’s damn well time we move past the notion that the health system fails mental health but treats physical health with efficacy, dignity and respect. I am so tired of feeling punched down on by seeing this trite and naïve notion stated over and over.

I’ve dealt with both mental and physical health problems since I was a child and in both respects, on many occasions the health systems (British & Canadian) failed me. My parents failed me on both accounts too. Hell, I failed myself until I almost died and learned to self advocate. After a lot of hardwork on my part, I have many diagnoses. I still have no access to effective treatment for the vast majority of those diagnoses. Both my physical and mental health issues are still heavily stigmatized; even by those that mean well. I am entirely traumatized from my life long experience with the system, my family and society. I assure you, my physical diagnoses have received zero special treatment.

Below I’ve inserted my Twitter rant on the subject so it may be a bit disjointed and impassioned (and some redundancy) but there’s also some important points I left out above.

Physically healthy people assume this abt healthcare: 1. Go to doctor, tell them yr symptoms. 2. Doctor listens, believes you & diagnoses >

— cherry, ☃ (@cherryrae) January 15, 2016

3. Dr gives treatment for accurate & thoughtful diagnosis, never questions your motives. 4. You are either cured, symptoms are controlled >

— cherry, ☃ (@cherryrae) January 15, 2016

or you die (as in cancer for example). This is so far from what actually happens it’s not even funny.

— cherry, ☃ (@cherryrae) January 15, 2016

At best this is accurate for common, minor bacterial infections; almost nothing else. Not even common viruses or early caught common cancers

— cherry, ☃ (@cherryrae) January 15, 2016

One major contributing factor to me not getting any physical diagnoses until I almost died was my parent’s, doctors AND my own lack of help.

— cherry, ☃ (@cherryrae) January 15, 2016

however I got many (incorrect) mental health diagnoses by the time I was 22. So, come on. Physical Health is rarely treated how you expect.

— cherry, ☃ (@cherryrae) January 15, 2016

Most especially if you are a young woman. You can’t possibly be physically ill, especially if you have mental health issues (or even don’t!)

— cherry, ☃ (@cherryrae) January 15, 2016

Furthermore, finally getting a diagnosis in my early 30s AFTER I nearly died doesn’t mean I’ll get effective treatment either.

— cherry, ☃ (@cherryrae) January 15, 2016

So, stop comparing! You may be flabbergasted to know there are deep parallels btwn the mistreatment/stigmas of both mental & physical health

— cherry, ☃ (@cherryrae) January 15, 2016

and two from my friend:

@cherryrae my exp with MDs involve coercing them into doing their job. So far, my ailments are minor. can’t imagine if things were worse :/

— Nomi Chi (@nomidraw) January 15, 2016

@cherryrae Srsly. It’s really awful trying to find the right combo of words to get a medical practitioner to fucking believe you/help you.

— Nomi Chi (@nomidraw) January 15, 2016

Let’s support and advocate together for better diagnosis, management, treatment and less stigmatisation of all health issues; mental and physical. Both kinds are appallingly mistreated and misunderstood, comparing the two won’t change anything. Our society and our medical systems fail us on a daily basis, let’s get through this together, not apart. Let’s at least have understanding and compassion for all.

i may not understand, but i stand. i stand with you.

Mothers of 3❤️‍‍‍‍‍