Change brings uncomfortable situations. Uncomfortable situations allow you to get to know and understand yourself better. Understanding yourself better brings growth, and with growth, comes healing.
The famous Istkilal Street typically sees anywhere from 1-3 million people walk down it daily. As I walked the entire 1.5km (1 mile) street on April 10th during the Coronavirus pandemic, I estimate I passed only a few hundred people, at most, almost all of whom were wearing face masks and keeping their distance from other passersby. Normally the street is so busy that you can barely walk a few meters without bumping into another human being, but on this day I was able to saunter down the almost-deserted street.
For 16 years, I have been a Staff member at Anime Boston. Sixteen years. It’s a lot, when you say it aloud. I missed the first year, the people I were supposed to go with canceled, and I was too shy and too awkward to go to a convention on my own.
But I met a girl at work, who had not only gone, she’d staffed it. And, she said, if I was still interested the next year, she could get me on staff, too.
A year later, she did.
All volunteer groups are weird, you know? They run on pure passion and dedication and whatever resources people can finagle. They run on hope, and friendship, and they run on spite. They run shortstaffed. They run over budget. They run themselves into the ground, and, if they’re lucky, they’ve still got enough left to get back up again.
They run. Until they don’t.
We canceled Anime Boston 2020 today. It was the right choice, for the safety of our attendees, our all volunteer staff, and the staff of the convention center. In the face of uncertain things ahead, our board of directors did what needed to be done.
And I unpacked my suitcase today.
Silly, to have packed a month before the con. And I guess it wasn’t, not really, There weren’t many clothes in it yet. Just fandom t-shirts I wasn’t going to wear until then. The lanyard I prefer over the ones we get from the facility. A book I was going to lend to someone else. The pins I was hoping to trade. A few snacks. A bottle of hot sauce, because of reasons. A bandanna. A box of gloves.
For the first time in sixteen years, I will not staff a con this spring. And all that work, all that effort, all the time spent by our art staff and PR team seems wasted. All the outreach events and the meetings, the timelines and the late nights. Floor plans and hotel plans and travel negotiations. Plane flights and food plans and everything else, falling to ruin.
On my kitchen table is a package of patches, one of the things we were going to sell at the merch booth this year. Anime Boston: 2020. The con that never was. That won’t be.
Be safe out there. Be well. Take care of each other. Now, more than ever, the spaces we will need, to seek comfort and be true to ourselves, may only be online.
Today in Quarantine living! I gave yoga a try for the first time in a loooooong time. It did not go particularly well, I tweaked my back something fierce! But then I saw this awesome dog on TikTok so I’d say it all balanced out, day-wise.
Want some good movies to watch but don’t want to support the careers of racists, r!pists and general jerks?
Worry not! There are plenty of good movies out there that you might not know about
If you liked:
Baby Driver
Watch:
Scott Pilgrim vs the World
Why?
They have the same editors (Paul Machliss and Jonathan Amos), director of cinematography (Bill Pope) and the same director (Edgar Wright) so that cool style and pace is there that a lot of people love about Baby Driver
And if you loved the music aspect of Baby Driver, Scott Pilgrim Vs The World is full of it! The soundtrack is awesome and includes original songs written for the film (and performed in it) including ‘Black Sheep’ by Metric, and you can even listen to songs by the bands in the film on Spotify. Another great addition to the album is 'It’s getting boring by the sea’ by Blood Red Shoes.
Here’s a gif that showcases the classic whip-pan that Wright’s work often uses so well
Note: Given the context that prompted this post, I feel I should make you aware that at the start of the film, Scott (22) is dating 17-year old Knives. Although they only ever hold hands, are never alone together and her parents are aware and ok with it, please don’t watch if this will be triggering for you. To give an example of the nature of their relationship, Knives wants to kiss Scott and says “I’ve never kissed a guy before”. Instead of kissing her or initiating any contact, Scott responds “Hey… me neither”. Scott decides he’s too old for her but doesn’t handle this particularly well, not wanting to upset her (don’t worry- he gets called out for it) She remains a key character throughout the film and really develops as the story goes on. Bonus points for having her own arc and not being there as the foil for the white love interest. I love you Knives!
I also love the female characters in general they’re so different but cool here are some gifs ok bye
Attack the Block
Why?
Attack the Block has the same composer as Baby Driver (Steven Price), and is also edited by Jonathan Amos (Baby Driver, Scott Pilgrim vs the World) and co-produced by Edgar Wright.
It stars John Boyega, which is of course a reason itself to watch it, especially because supporting his work makes it harder for Hollywood to drop him (if you didn’t know, he is a vocal leader of the BLM movement in the UK and so stated he might lose his career). He is also just a good actor and general good person which seems rare these days.
Its cast were mostly unknown at the time, and a lot of the dialogue is based on quotes from real teenagers- in the same demographic as the characters- spoken to during research. Joe Cornish (writer/director) also discussed with the actors any changes they wanted to their characters’ dialogue and the last drafts were influenced by their choices.
This is especially important as the movie also deals with race and class issues, as well as treatment of black British people and people of colour by authority
I won’t write a lot about it since I don’t know it as well as I do Scott Pilgrim, but will be rewatching soon and if you need to know if there’s any subjects that might be triggering for you check the website doesthedogdie
I’ll just leave this quote from the film here:
“They arrest us for nothing anyway”
“No, I reckon yeah, I reckon, the Feds sent them anyway. Government probably bred those things to kill black boys. First they send in drugs, then they sent guns and now they’re sending monsters in to kill us. They don’t care man. We ain’t killing each other fast enough. So they decided to speed up the process”
Cast members you may also recognise!
Jodie Whittaker (Doctor Who)
Frank Drameh (The Flash, Legends of Tomorrow)
I can do a pt.2, if there’s particular films/actors you want alternatives to let me know
“You seem very well, things look peaceful I’m not quite as well, I thought you should know” -Alanis Morissette, You Oughta Know
Friends, I’m struggling these days. I’ve been shut in since Feb 27–which I know is earlier than the mandatory lockdown (& I know specifically it was on Feb 27 because I was doing a big project & kept putting off going to the coffee shop saying Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Tomorrow, which, well, turned into this)–so forgive me for not being more positive. I’m sorry this happened to you, I’m sorry this happened to me, I’m sorry this happened period. I do believe we’re all in this together–I don’t feel special or anything. (I know I’m better off than some because I can tell you that I am not ok–& I mustered up the strength to make this [whatever it is] here–Booyah! Some people are barely getting by–sleeping/watching Netflix/glued to the news/playing video games/smoking pot [LEGALLY, OF COURSE]/drinking–just depressed as all hell… & who can blame them, really?!?) Please, if you can, do me a solid & let me know if you too are crawling up the walls, lacking focus, feeling “meh.” I swear I’m not someone who gets off on other people in pain BUT it helps me to know that I’m not blowing this out of proportion or feeling crazy for no reason; if you are also crying incessantly & fighting with family/your significant other & wondering how on earth you’re going to pay your bills… SHOUT OUT TO ALL THOSE PEEPS WHO AREN’T MAKING THE PERFECT DINNERS, DOING YOGA (or any exercise but eating lots–diets be damned!), LEARNING A NEW SKILL ON YOUTUBE, GETTING THEIR HOUSE ORGANIZED, CRAFTING OR CREATING OR WHATEVER. I SEE YOU (you’re just as valid & I miss you!) & I FEEL YOU. SOLIDARITY.
(That is not to say I don’t appreciate those that are making chicken salad out of this chicken sh*t situation! I have been positive, I hope to be positive once again–I am so up & down, people! I’ve Zoomed & watched FB live & FaceTimed. [Today, my husband is taking me around/walking & I am ridiculously excited…] Like Dorinda M [RHONY] said, “I’m doing everything & nothing well”-SAME GIRL, SAME.)
“Girls like us pick up the hot handles And burn our hands and we get over it” - The Julie Ruin, Girls Like Us
Hi, friends, for those asking/those that are curious: I am doing much better. I told you I was up & down! I wouldn’t say I’m at Walking-on-Sunshine-Katrina-&-the-Waves level 10, but my mood is most definitely I-Promise-Not-to be-an-Asshole-by-Arcwelder (that’s a real song by a real band, by the way–I played it at my wedding–do check it out).
MOOD BOOSTER #1) I got to video chat with girls from high school–you know, a good ol’ fashioned gab fest (it didn’t matter that my hair was 3 colors, that my nails were all broken, that I had gotten fatter–I needed this!) MOOD BOOSTER #2) I talked to my mom–she always grounds me MOOD BOOSTER #3) My husband is helping me–A LOT–from cooking to letting me pick out the movies we watch–which means dumb horror (gawd bless you, Sy Fy & can I say, gawd bless me?!?–I have been kinder & more patient, more understanding, etc) MOOD BOOSTER #4) Fiona Apple’s FETCH THE BOLT CUTTERS couldn’t have come at a better time (seriously, this album has been playing nonstop) & MOOD BOOSTER #5) I got a job–I’m reading again! Keeping busy!–focusing on more than just the news! My mind stopped turning to mush! Plus, I need the money–seriously!
I don’t mean to rub this in anyone’s face–so don’t take it that way–I’m just happy … (Don’t worry–Oregon has no date set to open up so I’m sure I’ll be back down soon enough!) Since I am feeling up, I’m reminded of that Lady Gaga & Florence Welch song & those lyrics, “Hey girl/If you lose your way/Just know that I got you” & I mean it–I have the energy now; I got you.
Thank you all for having my back, for responding & supporting. I <3 you all. I wish we could hug (but since we can’t, know I’m doing a princess/pageant wave &, possibly, blowing you a kiss).
BACK IN STOCK! Best selling Provence Robe in black. A lovely style to wear by itself or over your favorite lingerie/lounge pieces! https://bit.ly/34zl9bq
I used to have a little vanity case full of nail polish, but I had to get rid of them all a few years ago when I moved house and lost most of my possessions. I’ve only owned one nail polish since, but as a little quarantine treat, I’ve bought myself three new ones, and I am itching to paint my fingernails and toenails!
summary: chris invites his new secret celebrity girlfriend to stay with him during quarantine.
warnings: age gap (the reader is 27)
word count: 357
a/n: none
It’s like you got superpowers Turn my minutes into hours You’ve got more than 20/20, babe Made of glass the way you see through me
You know me better than I do Can’t seem to keep nothing from you How you touch my soul from the outside Permeate my ego and my pride
I wanna love me (Ooh) The way that you love me (Ooh) Ooh, for all of my pretty And all of my ugly too I’d love to see me from your point of view
I wanna trust me (Trust me) The way that you trust me (Trust me) Ooh, ‘cause nobody ever Loved me like you do I’d love to see me from your point of view
I’m getting used to receiving Still getting good at not leaving I'ma love you even though I’m scared Learning to be grateful for myself
You love my lips, 'cause they say the Things we’ve always been afraid of I can feel it starting to subside Learning to believe in what is mine
I wanna love me (Ooh) The way that you love me (Ooh) Ooh, for all of my pretty And all of my ugly too I’d love to see me from your point of view
I wanna trust me (Trust me) The way that you trust me (Trust me) Ooh, 'cause nobody ever Loved me like you do I’d love to see me from your point of view
I couldn’t believe it Or see it for myself Know I be impatient But now, I’m out here falling, falling Frozen, slowly thawing Got me right I won’t keep you waiting, waiting All my baggage fading safely And if my eyes deceive me Won’t let them stray too far away
I wanna love me (Ooh) The way that you love me (Ooh) Ooh, for all of my pretty And all of my ugly too I’d love to see me from your point of view
I wanna trust me (Trust me) The way that you trust me, baby (Trust me) 'Cause nobody ever Loved me like you do I’d love to see me from your point of view Yeah
published: 05/01/2022
Hey, I have gone through my page and I have tagged people who wanted to be tagged in the positions series. If I missed you or you would like be added please let me know! Thank you everyone for the love and support for the series.
positions: excuse me, i love you | chris evans | outtakes
chris evans x ari!female reader [series]
summary: chris invites his new secret celebrity girlfriend to stay with him during quarantine.
warnings: age gap (the reader is 27), emotions
word count: 698
a/n: none
December 21, 2020
(Y/N) (Y/L/N): Excuse Me, I Love You concert film was released on Netflix that day.
The film followed you on-stage and behind the scenes of the Sweetener World Tour in 2019.
The film was released today, on Netflix, in commemoration of the first anniversary of the tour’s conclusion.
Most of the concert scenes were shot during your show at The O2 Arena in London, England, United Kingdom.
The Evans family being in New York City for the holidays, wanted to watch the film.
You weren’t home when the family watched it. You didn’t want to watch it. You lived it and approved the final cut of the film. You didn’t feel the need to watch it.
You were out in the city trying to finish Christmas shopping. Chris and his family decided it would be the best time to watch the movie.
Everyone sat in the theatre room as the movie began to play. The whole family was enjoying the performances and seeing you behind the scenes doing what you do best and loved so much.
You have always been a hard-working and devoted person to your work, your art.
Everyone was impressed by what it takes and how concert tours and shows were developed.
Chris was tremendously proud of you and had so much pride that you were his girlfriend and, hopefully his future fiancée.
When raindrops fell down from the sky The day you left me, an angel cried Oh, she cried, an angel cried She cried
You sang acapella in the empty arena as you were rehearsing. You were sitting on stage on the floor in your sweats as you sang.
The emotions on your face were exhaustion, sadness, grief, and pain.
“What are you feeling right now? What’s going on?” The camera person questioned you.
“Being on tour brings different emotions to me. It is so bittersweet. On one side, I see the world. I see my fans. I go out there, and I perform with all of my heart and soul and do what I do best. However, on the other side, I miss my parents.” You started getting teary eyes.
“All I think about is that they should be here. They should be with me. They should be with me on this journey. They should be standing out in that crowd cheering me on.” Tears started slowly falling down your face.
“They never saw my music career begin and take off. They never saw any of this.” You wiped your tears as you stood up.
“I think about them all day and all night. I miss them a lot, and I love them always. They’re always on my mind and in my heart.”
Right now, I’m in a state of mind I wanna be in like all the time Ain’t got no tears left to cry
So I’m pickin’ it up, pickin’ it up I’m lovin’, I’m livin’, I’m pickin’ it up I’m pickin’ it up, pickin’ it up I’m lovin’, I’m livin’, I’m pickin’ it up (Oh, yeah)
I’m pickin’ it up (Yeah), pickin’ it up (Yeah) Lovin’, I’m livin’, so we turnin’ up Yeah, we turnin’ it up
Ain’t got no tears in my body I ran out, but boy, I like it, I like it, I like it Don’t matter how, what, where, who tries it We out here vibin’, we vibin’, we vibin’
At the end of the song, you looked up as you blew a kiss and pointed your finger above.
“I love you, mom and dad. Miss you always.” You spoke into your microphone.
The Evans family held their emotions as they watched those moments on the screen.
No one spoke as they knew that you tremendously missed your family and saw the pain you were going through every day.
Later that night, you and Chris were lying down in bed. You were asleep, lying on Chris’s chest.
The whole family expressed how much they loved the film and your performances.
No one talked about the scene where you were talking about your parents.
Chris kissed you softly on your forehead.
“I love you so much. I’m so proud of you, baby.”
published: 04/28/2022
I know that it has been a long time since I have updated this series! I’m so sorry that it has taken me this long! I hope you all enjoy this first outtake for the position series. I plan on publishing more outtakes and finally publishing the sequel to the positions series. I have tagged the people who I had tagged on the last chapter. If you want to be tagged for the positions series please let me know! Thank you all so much for the love and support!
