A weekend of draining into my diaper, 18fr foley Cather inserted and no way of stopping the flow into this diaper!! Plus a Miami jto brace for the weekend
So, wow, it’s been a while! I didn’t really realize how long until I looked back for my last text post, and yeah, quite a while!
If you have sent me messages or asks while I haven’t been around, I do apologize as unfortunately with the hundreds and hundreds of those that have stacked up, there’s not really realistically much chance that I’d be able to catch up on them, but, I did wanna make a post thingo to answer the main stuff I saw get asked ^^
1. People concerned about my asthma / Covid
Thank you so much for all of the concern from so many people! It’s honestly insane to me that such a large amount of you cared about this one specific detail, but, at the same time, I think it shows what an overall wholesome community the untraining space can be <3 When you think about it, this part of the ABDL community that wants to become incontinent must be like, 1% of the overall kink or something and yet, in my experience, it’s usually the most accepting and friendly! I suppose after all if you’re at a point where you’re cool with / actively want to make yourself incontinent, you also want to find other like-minded peoples and stick together to support one another! It’s just really great to have a community like this I think!
So my asthma is doing great actually, and muuuuuch better than where it was last time everyone was up to date. I admit it was really scary for a while, and my doctor even wanted to register me on this like, emergency patient risk thing for ambulances/hospitals at one point x.x But! Things seem to have gotten better, and, I think it’s all thanks to the lovely drugs they have for asthma these days, lol, as well as probably all the time we get to spend indoors now because of Covid.
Australia has handled Covid really well for the most part though, and I haven’t caught it at all luckily! Colds and flus still really knock me about unfortunately because they also impair the lungs but, hey, better than dealing with Covid, so I can’t complain too much.
2. People telling me about my photos and content getting reposted / borrowed / whatever
This one is another like, hey, look how awesome we are that so many of you want to keep an eye on that stuff for me! It’s super kind of you! Unfortunately, this is just a fact of life on the Internet though, and there’s ultimately not that much to be done about it really. Do I wish people wouldn’t use my photos and pretend that they took them of themselves? Yes absolutely. Is there much to be done about it long term? No, not really.
It might sound silly or whatever but hey, it’s the Internet, people are gonna take things and repost things and do whatever they do all over the world wide web, and, it’s cool ultimately. By posting pictures of myself publicly, and even writing publicly, I sort of accepted that that kind of thing would happen, so, I do appreciate all the heads up but, ultimately I’m not really gonna go around playing whack-a-mole with all the stuff that gets reposted elsewhere. It’s sort of a shrug and move on thing for me, but, again, sooooo great that you all are trying to look out for me, and I really appreciate it <3
3. People asking about me wearing 24/7, my incontinence, updates, am I still wearing, etc.
This is a big one, I know, but, I’m gonna do my best to not ramble on for thousands of words like I tend to do, ha ha. Maybe I can rapid-fire the most important points in like, bold, so people who want to can just read those bits.
Serah, are you still wearing 24/7?
No!
Serah, are you still incontinent?
Yes!
Serah, those are contradictory answers!
Iknoooooow!
When did you stop wearing diapers full-time?
It’s hard for me to remember exactly what day it was, but, it was about October of last year. So, sometime in October 2020.
Why did you stop wearing diapers full-time?
Financial reasons! Like others, I was unfortunately impacted by Covid, and I eventually had to make the tough call to try and wean myself off diapers until things settled down some more.
Was this super duper easy to do and you suddenly got back all of your control without any effort?
No!It has been almost nine whole monthssince I started trying to retrain myself, and I still have regular accidents despite my best efforts.
This has been as much of a learning experience for me as the initial untraining, and good lord, your body does notrevert easily when you wear 24/7 for so long. I’m starting to think that theory that I saw about it taking like, the same amount of time to retrain as it did to untrain had some weight to it, because yeah, this is hard.
It’s hilarious honestly to me how much people think diapers are embarrassing because, seriously, I have had waaaaaay more embarrassing experiences in trying to get outof diapers than I have from all the time I spent wearing them 24/7. Like, not even joking.
Wetting a diaper? Nobody notices anything.
Wetting your clothes? That’s hella obvious.
Oh and I didn’t just untrain my bladder did I? No no no, that’d be too easy xD
Of course, I also have messy accidents from untraining my bowels, lol, and though those aren’t usually as immediately obvious as wetting yourself, it’s a real experience accidentally messing yourself without a diaper on, especially while out at a big party with friends or, when going for a simple run or, just because you happened to have a coffee and are too far from a bathroom.
I definitely don’t want to make you all think I’m miserable or anything though, so, I’ll make sure to say that I’m not,it can just be stressful in the moment, ha ha. It is interesting from a more scientific perspective (you all know I love my science), and, usually, I do find it funny in retrospect. Luckily for me as well, as you’ll probably all remember, I did tell my doctor and my family / parents about my incontinence while I still wore diapers 24/7 so, nobody has been particularly blindsided about me having control issues at least.
I remember I did get some hate for telling my doctor about being incontinent (and leaving out that I did it on purpose) but, honestly it pays off having a medical person to talk to about control issues, and I still think it was a good idea, even if not everyone agrees with it. She’s lovely about it and gives me useful tips for management and stuffs of my current issues.
I also should say I don’t have accidents every single day! I can definitely go for a few days without one. I’d say, as a rough estimate, I can probably go on average, like two or three days without accidentally wetting myself at least a little bit, and bowel-wise, I can probably manage two or three weeks in between messing myself as long as I try and be careful and watch what I eat.
Youdo get desensitized to wetting yourself, I will say, and maybe that’s why I’ve sort of plateaued a bit there. It’s just so normal for me to wet myself some every few days that I kind of like… just shrug and move on? I should probably try and take it more seriously but, it’s been a lot of work to even get to where I am now that I guess my excuse is that I’m sort of sick of putting in lots of effort there? I don’t know exactly, but, that’s what I suspect it is anyway.
Messy accidents are definitely more eye-opening for me though, since those are pretty clothes ruining usually, haha, and aren’t as easy to clean up as wetting yourself is. So maybe that’s why I’ve made more progress there, but, at the same time, I have to be really careful about things I eat and I can’t ever try and resist going to the bathroom if my body wants to mess, because yeah, too many experiences of urges just totally overpowering what my muscles are capable of holding.
So, I have in fact rambled more and more, lol, but, I should probably leave it about there! I’m sure there’s a ton I’ve missed but, hey, maybe ask some new questions after this update and I can try and cover anything I’ve missed xD I do plan on going back to diapers fulltime again when my financial situation is better, 110%, but for now, going without has certainly been an interesting, albeit wet and messy, experience that I am sort of glad to have for at least experience’s sake, ha ha. Hope you’ve all been well since we last caught up too <3
Sooo, Monday morning has come and gone, and with it, my half-hour appointment to talk with my doctor about my incontinence.
I was actually pretty nervous about it going in, like, what would I be asked, how would she react, how easily was I going to be able to discuss so much about my incontinence with another person face to face.
My nerves were definitely not helped by the fact that my doctor was running very late and I didn’t even get in to see her until half an hour after the original booked time, ha ha. I couldn’t help but think as my name was finally called that I’d already be done by now if things were running smoothly cx
Once I got to the actual conversation and discussion with my doctor though, things went pretty well I think, and I definitely feel like talking about incontinence so much on this blog has helped me to feel more normal about discussing it with another person out loud.
Obviously, I can’t recall every single thing that was said but, I basically just dove straight into it when we sat down, talking about how I’d been experiencing leakage for the past several years, how it seemed to have progressively gotten more severe over time and especially more so in the past year. I talked about how my wetting could catch me off guard, how I couldn’t seem to stop the flow once I started wetting, how my muscles felt sluggish and unresponsive and I couldn’t close them properly, and I also talked about how I seemed to leak and drip sometimes without even realizing it. We briefly went over how I have problems staying dry at night as well, and I made it clear that I wear protection constantly these days.
My doctor, of course, said it was very unusual for someone so young to be experiencing such severe incontinence, but that she had some theories on what might be causing it based off our discussion; and I did apologize to her for not bringing it up earlier in my life, mentioning that I was pretty nervous about discussing it, which she was sympathetic about.
Her primary theory is that I have some kind of minor spinal issue, which would explain the loss of sensation and failing bladder control. Apparently, when we’re born, there’s a chance of a particular part of our spine not connecting or developing properly or something, and that can cause the loss of feeling and incontinence which would match what I was talking about, as well as the issue slowly getting worse over time. She also mentioned that this quite often causes bowel incontinence as well, because it’s usually a loss of sensation to the whole area, which I found quite interesting since that might be a window to mention my bowel control in the future.
As for wearing a medical diaper to the appointment, that turned out to be a really fantastic idea, and I’m SO extremely glad that I did that because I can’t even imagine the awkward conversation that would have happened if I’d worn an ABU Space or something like that. My doctor decided that she wanted to try checking my spine physically in case anything felt out of the ordinary, and well, to run her fingers all the way down my spine, she had to pull the back of my diaper down a little so that it wasn’t in the way.
This is where I really appreciated her professionalism, ha ha, because she didn’t mention anything at all about the diaper, though I had explained earlier in the appointment that I wore them all the time now, so she was probably expecting it to be fair. Still, that could have been very awkward but it wasn’t in the slightest, it just felt totally normal. That’s what I wanted, for my diaper wearing to feel very regular and not like a big deal at all.
So, after all that, I ended up with a referral for an x-ray of my spine, which I’ll get done probably in the next week or so. As I said, she seems quite certain of what it is so, we’ll see how that goes.
Anyway, that’s about it for talking about my doctor’s visit, but I hope you found it informative or interesting : ) I honestly think the hardest part is over now, like, all the describing of my symptoms and talking about the progression of them over the years, as well as bringing up the fact that I wear diapers all the time to manage them. Hopefully, that’s all recorded in my files and will be part of my permanent record going forward (fun fact too, Australia is getting nationwide government-run health records on every citizen, so any doctor who accesses my healthcare file from now on will see this stuff recorded even if it’s in another city or state). In regards to the testing, I’m honestly interested to see how things turn out on the medical side of things, so I will be going forward with getting it/them done, and I’ll keep everyone updated as to the results of course.
Thanks for joining me for another post! I should be able to get some more asks done later this week so, make sure to stay tuned for those : )
