#incorrect 21st district
Jay, to Mouse: I need you more than fish need water.
Mouse: I need you more than humans need air.
Jay: I nee-
Adam: I need a raise more than you need each other.
Jay: Voight, you’re going to play the role of my father for this.
Voight: I don’t want to be your father.
Jay:Perfect, you already know your lines.
Jay: Could you do me a favour?
Mouse: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene, and take the blame for it if you asked me to.
Jay:
Jay: Could you do the dishes?
Mouse:No.
Jay, jokingly: I should have Voight kill you for that.
Voight, peering around the corner: Who do I need to kill?
Jay:Wha-no, I was just kidding around.
Voight, pulling out a switchblade: No, who’s bothering you?
[Family AU]
Voight, breakdancing slowly: What’s wrong son?
Jay, crying: I’m literally begging you to stop.
Adam: Hello, can I get a glass of wine?
Cashier: Sir, this is a McDonald’s.
Adam: Oh sorry.
Adam:Can I get a glass of McWine?
Voight: Anything you say in the next thirty seconds is free, I won’t fire you. Starting now.
Jay: I think you’re cocky, arrogant, bossy and pushy. You have a king complex and you don’t think of anyone besides yourself.
Voight: Wait a min-
Jay: I have twenty-three seconds left and I’m not done.
Will: How would you rate your pain?
Jay:0/10.
Will:How-your arms is literally going the wrong way-
Jay: As in 0/10 would NOT recommend.
Will:
Jay: Very not Gucci, does not slap, no thanks.
Hailey: Okay, would you press the button? You’re offered 50,000 dollars but the person you hate the most gets 100,000 dollars.
Jay: Yes, why wouldn’t I want 150.000 dollars?
[Family AU]
Teen!Jay: You can’t keep Mouse and i apart! I’ll…I’ll disobey!
Voight: I’m also Adam Ruzek’s father. Do you think you’ve got any tricks I haven’t seen?
Voight: *Leaves the room*
Teen!Jay:*Climbs out of a third story window, slides down a tree and lands in a wheelbarrow being pushed by Voight*
Voight: Adam Ruzek: Age 14
Voight: *Drags Jay back into th house by the scruff of his hoodie*
Adam: *Comes out of a hidden doorway*
Adam: Adam Ruzek: Age 19. Mwahahaha!
Jay: *Realises that he likes Mouse*
Jay: Who the fuck authorised this?
Mouse: Yum. Thanks!
Kidnapper: I said stop eating the tape!
Mouse: What are you doing?
Jay, hanging up down from monkey bars: Trying to kiss you?
Mouse: You’re gonna fall.
Jay:
Jay: Shut up and kiss me, asshole, I’m getting light headed.
Jay, walks into the district late: Sorry I was doing stuff.
Adam, walks in a few minutes later, noticeably disheveled: JAY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!
Literally any one: Did you kill this man?
Voight: No, a bullet killed him, and bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is nature. He died of natural causes. Case solved.
Voight: When I die, please give the Intelligence my regards.
Alvin: What should I tell them?
Voight:Regards.
Jay: *Gently taps table*
Mouse: *Taps back*
Adam: What on earth are they doing?
Hailey: Morse code.
Jay: *Aggressively taps table*
Mouse, slams table: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
Jay:Can’t we go somewhere else for our date?
Mouse: Who said this was a date? I’m just going to the store!
Jay: Then, why did you invite me?
Mouse: I told you not to follow me and you said “don’t tell me what to do!”.
Mouse: it costs $400 to go to a therapist.
Mouse: It costs $0 to tell myself it be like that sometimes.
Jay, softly:No.
Voight, when Jay first joins Intelligence: Halstead is useful I guess.
Voight, now: I have adopted Jay.