#incorrect chicago pd

Jay, to Mouse: I need you more than fish need water.

Mouse: I need you more than humans need air.

Jay: I nee-

Adam: I need a raise more than you need each other.

Jay: Voight, you’re going to play the role of my father for this.

Voight: I don’t want to be your father.

Jay:Perfect, you already know your lines.

Jay: Could you do me a favour?

Mouse: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene, and take the blame for it if you asked me to.

Jay:

Jay: Could you do the dishes?

Mouse:No.

Jay, jokingly: I should have Voight kill you for that.

Voight, peering around the corner: Who do I need to kill?

Jay:Wha-no, I was just kidding around.

Voight, pulling out a switchblade: No, who’s bothering you?

[Family AU]

Voight, breakdancing slowly: What’s wrong son?

Jay, crying: I’m literally begging you to stop.

Adam: Hello, can I get a glass of wine?

Cashier: Sir, this is a McDonald’s.

Adam: Oh sorry.

Adam:Can I get a glass of McWine?

Voight: Anything you say in the next thirty seconds is free, I won’t fire you. Starting now.

Jay: I think you’re cocky, arrogant, bossy and pushy. You have a king complex and you don’t think of anyone besides yourself.

Voight: Wait a min-

Jay: I have twenty-three seconds left and I’m not done.

Will: How would you rate your pain?

Jay:0/10.

Will:How-your arms is literally going the wrong way-

Jay: As in 0/10 would NOT recommend.

Will:

Jay: Very not Gucci, does not slap, no thanks.

Hailey: Okay, would you press the button? You’re offered 50,000 dollars but the person you hate the most gets 100,000 dollars.

Jay: Yes, why wouldn’t I want 150.000 dollars?

[Family AU]

Teen!Jay: You can’t keep Mouse and i apart! I’ll…I’ll disobey!

Voight: I’m also Adam Ruzek’s father. Do you think you’ve got any tricks I haven’t seen?

Voight: *Leaves the room*

Teen!Jay:*Climbs out of a third story window, slides down a tree and lands in a wheelbarrow being pushed by Voight*

Voight: Adam Ruzek: Age 14

Voight: *Drags Jay back into th house by the scruff of his hoodie*

Adam: *Comes out of a hidden doorway*

Adam: Adam Ruzek: Age 19. Mwahahaha!

Jay: *Realises that he likes Mouse*

Jay: Who the fuck authorised this?

Mouse: Yum. Thanks!

Kidnapper: I said stop eating the tape!

Mouse: What are you doing?

Jay, hanging up down from monkey bars: Trying to kiss you?

Mouse: You’re gonna fall.

Jay:

Jay: Shut up and kiss me, asshole, I’m getting light headed.

Jay, walks into the district late: Sorry I was doing stuff.

Adam, walks in a few minutes later, noticeably disheveled: JAY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

Literally any one: Did you kill this man?

Voight: No, a bullet killed him, and bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is nature. He died of natural causes. Case solved.

Voight: When I die, please give the Intelligence my regards.

Alvin: What should I tell them?

Voight:Regards.

Jay: *Gently taps table*

Mouse: *Taps back*

Adam: What on earth are they doing?

Hailey: Morse code.

Jay: *Aggressively taps table*

Mouse, slams table: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Jay:Can’t we go somewhere else for our date?

Mouse: Who said this was a date? I’m just going to the store!

Jay: Then, why did you invite me?

Mouse: I told you not to follow me and you said “don’t tell me what to do!”.

Mouse: it costs $400 to go to a therapist.

Mouse: It costs $0 to tell myself it be like that sometimes.

Jay, softly:No.

Voight, when Jay first joins Intelligence: Halstead is useful I guess.

Voight, now: I have adopted Jay.