#incorrect dgm
lenalee : we need a distraction. is anyone here good at making annoying noises?
lavi : my time has come.
krory : [accidentally does something illegal]
krory, calling 911 : hello? i would like to go to jail.
lavi : don’t worry, no one else is gonna ask yuu out.
alma : why not?
lavi : because yuu is terrifying.
sheryl : let’s write tyki a friendly note, shall we? dear… incompetent… dumbass…
past alma : are you a cuddler?
past kanda : i’m a machine of death and destruction.
past alma :
past kanda : …yeah, i’m a cuddler
wisely : i am 39 cheetos tall
sheryl : …why are you measuring your height with cheetos?
wisely : because we’re out of doritos.
kanda : [closes a cabinet]
[a crash is heard behind the cabinet door]
komui : what was that?
kanda : the sound of someone else’s problem
lenalee : when do you usually go to sleep?
allen : whenever i collapse is entirely up to the gods.
lavi : so, what are we doing?
kanda : wasting our lives.
lavi : i meant for lunch..
lavi : wait a minute, how did this happen? we’re smarter than this!
allen : apparently, we’re not.
komui : I WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD FOR YOU!
lenalee : okay, can you do the dishes?
komui :NO!
wisely : [sends more than 5 messages in a row]
tyki : i ain’t reading all that.
tyki : i’m happy for you though.
tyki : or sorry that happened.
alma : how do tall people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can’t possibly cover them?
kanda : alma, it’s 4am.
alma : so you can’t sleep, huh? is it because of the blanket?
lavi : I TOLD LENALEE I’D COOK FOR HER BUT I CAN’T COOK
allen, pouring milk directly in the cereal bag : and you thought you’d come to me for help?
komui :GUYS!!!!
lenalee, whispering : shh… can’t you see everyone is sleeping?
komui, whispering :sorry
lenalee : it’s fine. why were you yelling anyway?
komui : the kitchen is on fire
lenalee : just be yourself, say something nice!
kanda : which one? i can’t do both.
tiedoll : you know what i love?
kanda, not even looking up : adopting kids with issues?
tiedoll : i regret adopting you.
kanda : no, you don’t.
tiedoll : no, i don’t.
[at skin borik’s funeral]
wisely : i bet he’s looking up at us and smiling right now.
jasdero : looking UP at us?
wisely : yeah, he’s in hell for sure
random person : excuse me, sir, [points at alma] is this man bothering you?
kanda : yes, but he’s my husband. i signed up for this.
reever : i left a list of instructions for while i’m gone.
komui : this just says “komui, no.”
reever : apply that to every scenario you can think of
