#inuyashafanfiction

Here’s the second chapter, it’s all yours! :) Hope you like it! Oh, you really should listen Inuyasha soundtracks, when you are reading this story. Those are so good!

Chapter 2 - Memories from somewhere far away

Kagome cannot help it, sometimes she just has to let her memories to be heard, no matter how painful it is. At one point, she realized she had to try to learn to cherish her memories. They did not stay in her mind just for fun. How could I ever forget? Every place is reminiscent of Inuyasha, even the market where we went together… Kagome had to avoid that place too for some time. It has been difficult for her to protect herself from crushing memories, but gradually it succeeded. Until now, when Kagome’s mind fills up for a long time with questions, to which she has not dared to think of answers.

Has Inuyasha forgotten me, went on in his life? Did he ever think, that our time together might be coming to an end? Is everyone alright there? Did Sango and Miroku get married? Shippo and Kirara, how I would love to hug you both now. I miss you; I miss you all so terribly! Sota misses you too, Inuyasha, but he doesn’t say it out loud, because he’s afraid that he would hurt me… Kagome just sees it from him every now and then and when she hugs him wordlessly, Sota understands.

Suddenly, memories - good and more painful ones - makes a return to Kagome’s mind, as if someone had opened the huge gate, that protected them. Kagome has tried to push certain memories, especially those which were like one big monster, somewhere very far from her mind. But now they seem like to suffocate her, unless she will release them. She can’t help but give up.

Kagome remembers the moment, when after surviving the attack of the centipede demon, she got up from the well and ended up in the woods. Thinking that she had found the Holy Tree and her home yard, but then she saw a boy, Inuyasha, nailed to the tree with an arrow. She remembers rubbing his dog’s ears, totally unable to resist the temptation. Such ears… Those doesn’t belong to a human. She remembers thinking, waking up from her thoughts only, when the villagers shot them with arrows.

Suddenly Kagome does wince and almost drops her tea mug. She now realizes that she actually instinctively protected Inuyasha from the arrows of the villagers, by throwing herself in front of him, without even considering that she could be hit by herself. I could have jumped to the ground for being safe or something, but for some reason I didn’t do it… She wonders.

“Thanks for that, you were just trying to kill me,” Kagome says sadly.

But Inuyasha took very good care of me too… Kagome is thinking and smiles a little for her memories. When this got sick at the Feudal era and she returned home, Inuyasha followed her. He prepared medicine for her using his mother’s prescription and kept watch at night, that Kagome was able to sleep. And he didn’t even get a jealousy attack, even though Hojo was here… Maybe he was more focused on thinking about ways to get me in better shape.

Inuyasha often called her an idiot, and yet at times he behaved like one, however, he remained by her side in such moments, helping to the best of his ability. Like she was doing same for Inuyasha, there was no doubt about it.

In Kagome’s mind is now a very distant memory, of how Inuyasha was not at first allowing her to go back to her own time, when she wanted to and tried to block (or destroy) the well with a large rock. Kagome became enraged and repeatedly used the sit -command on Inuyasha, so that he tumbled to the ground and the heavily stone striked to his back. Later, a mask demon attacked Kagome and Sota, but Inuyasha rescued them by destroying the demon. However, Inuyasha was really offended about what happened with the stone and rudely refused to help them, before apologizing. As dawn came, before Kagome left for school, she vowed Inuyasha to go his own time and so he did - for a moment.

When Kagome came home from school, she found Inuyasha from her room, who was sitting on the bed while Buyo was sleeping next to him. At first Kagome was angry, because she knew how impossible it was to study while he was around. Inuyasha got bored insanely fast, if he didn’t come up with anything to do, and Kagome didn’t always have time to keep him company. Fortunately, Sota helped her sometimes with that, but now he was not home yet.

“You! Why are you here? I’m not coming back yet, you know -” Kagome asked, dropping her backpack from her shoulder to the floor.

Soon, however, she saw that he was not okay. Inuyasha sat unanswered with his ears down, holding his side while his face distorted in pain.

“Inuyasha, what’s wrong with you?” Kagome asked, sat down next to Inuyasha, while concern swept over her when seeing him like this.

“Back”, grumpy hanyō growled, looking accusingly at Kagome. I hope I didn’t come here for nothing… What if she doesn’t want to help? Inuyasha thought somehow worried.

“Oh no - still? It seems to get a bad hit then…” Kagome muttered nervously, feeling a small sting of guilt. Somehow, it’s weird… Inuyasha often gets worse hits with demons, as those wounds healed very quickly. But now one stone cause such terrible pain? She wondered, without daring to inquire about the matter any further.

“Why didn’t you show it to Kaede? She would surely have found the right herbs for your pains -”

“As if I would show anything to that old hag! Hngh… Stop nagging and do something!” Inuyasha groaned in pain.

“Well, once you ask so kindly…” Kagome said in a sarcastic tone, sighing deeply.

“Take off your clothes”, Kagome ordered.

“Shirts, I mean”, she clarified quickly, seeing Inuyasha’s look.

Inuyasha then nodded quickly and put his Tessaiga sword from his lap to the floor, to lean on the bedside table. He turned his back and began to carefully take off his kimono. To his surprise, he felt Kagome helping him, her noticing that every move seemed to hurt him.

“Thanks…” Inuyasha said quietly. Damn, even just this feels painful…

After Inuyasha got his shirt off too, Kagome saw many big bruises on his pale back, but some of them were already healing. However, the sight gripped Kagome’s stomach kind of nasty way, because Inuyasha’s back was looking as if this had gotten beated badly.

“I’m sorry…” Kagome said quietly, touching his back lightly with her fingertips.

“Well now you sounded more, like you really meant it too. Last time you didn’t really convince me”, Inuyasha muttered and shuddered slightly, when he felt her gently touch on his back.

“Hey, do you even realize, that you were going to break the well permanently?!” this made Kagome flicker angrily and crossing her arms.

“How did you imagine me getting back to my own time without the well, huh? Here, back into my own life?? It’s little bit hard to apologize anything after that! Fine, I’m not making you sit under a stone or anything else anymore, but you can’t assume -”

“Okay okay, I understood!” Inuyasha interrupted, turning around and nailing his golden-yellow gaze at Kagome.

“Maybe I overreacted just a little bit, but what else should I do, when you always leave at the wrong time! We have to look for Shikon shards, but you seem to always have something hell more important here -“

“I would probably have stayed there for the rest of my life, if the well had broken!” Kagome tries to make him see, how serious the situation was.

“It doesn’t sound so bad though…” Inuyasha muttered, no longer looking at her. Damn, what I’m saying?!

“What…?” Kagome stared at him for a moment wondering, if she had heard wrong.

“It wouldn’t have broken down so badly”, Inuyasha said now louder.

It was as if you had said something completely different… Kagome was still wondering in her mind.

“Inuyasha, I also have to go to school here or I’ll get kicked out from there! My future depends on it, it’s very important to me. When will you understand that?” Kagome huffed, shaking her head slowly.

Seeing Kagome’s face like that, Inuyasha understood not to be so stubborn, if he wanted help from her now.

“Maybe I’ll try it now”, Inuyasha shrugged his shoulders and turns his back again to Kagome, leaving her there with open mouth for a moment. As long as you don’t kick me out, but help me…

“I don’t know if massaging would help or would it only make it worse…” Kagome did wonder out loud, while she also decided to let the dust settle and focus on caring his back.

“Try”, Inuyasha decided on her behalf.

“Lay down, it’s easier that way”, Kagome instructed, and he obeyed lowering his head on Kagome’s pillow.

“You say right away if it hurts too much, is that clear?” Kagome adjured and Inuyasha mumbled approvingly, while Buyo took a new sleeping place next to his feet.

She moved closer to him, moving Inuyasha’s long, silver-white hair aside and gently pressed his back searching painful spots. The bruises gave a good clue about those, but it was also easy to find those because of the noises, he made. At least his shoulders are little tight, no wonder though... Kagome noticed as she used more force.

How can it feel so… Kagome’s hands, her sweet scent in this soft… I guess I’ve never been able to relax like this before… Inuyasha was thinking somewhat sleepy.

“Does this relieve any of your pain?” Kagome asked after a moment.

“Mm-mh…” was the only answer Inuyasha, who had closed his eyes, gave her.

Did he fall asleep? He at least seems to trust me a little bit more now… Kagome thought, and couldn’t help but smile. Inuyasha seemed to relax moment by moment, making Kagome’s job easier. I didn’t want to cause you such a pain like this, but why you have to be so stubborn… Otherwise, I would now be wondering by the remains of the well, how to get back home. Kagome thought, then getting an idea. Hmm, would I dare try that to him… Yes, it might really help!

“Inuyasha, I’ll be right back. Just wait here, quietly.”

“Mm…” answer came from the pillow again.

I guess he’s somehow awake. Kagome smiled, then headed to the bathroom. She took a mint green tube from the mirror cabinet and returned to her room. Kagome carefully sat back next to Inuyasha and opened the tube. Buyo woke up fast like a flash and its horrified look told, what that thought about the smell. The cat jumped to the floor and found safer place from Kagome’s chair. At the same time, Inuyasha woke up too.

“What the hell stinks so strongly?! It burns my eyes!” he rose suddenly to sit, stared at her with narrowed eyes wondering, what she was doing.

“I’ll put you a cold gel, it will relieve the pain. But its effect may seem a little strange to you at first, I just warn you”, Kagome gently let Inuyasha smell the open tube and his reaction was reminiscent of Buyo’s reaction, which couldn’t stand the smell of menthol either.

“You’re trying to poison me with that stuff, just admit it!” Inuyasha argued holding his nose and retreated next to the wall on the bed, kicking with his feet. Just when I was about to trust her…!

“This isn’t poison, you fool. Just watch…” Kagome said and put some gel on her own hand, while Inuyasha was about to attack to stop her.

Crazy woman… How dare you put that anywhere near your skin?! Inuyasha thought, glancing eyes wide at Kagome, then stared fixedly at her hand, as if waiting for the skin to corrode.

They both just waited for a moment and while still nothing significant happened to her hand, Inuyasha pondered his options. He moved back to Kagome’s side and pushed his hand to her.

“On your own risk, woman,” he said, while Kagome just nodded smiling, applied gel to a small area on his hand and waited for the gel’s and Inuyasha’s reaction.

Inuyasha stared at his hand, tapping his knee with his fingernails. With an impatient nature of his, he was already asking, what they were actually waiting for. Until…

“Gaaah! What…! What…? It feels - cold… No, burning?!” Inuyasha was panicky for a moment, until he somehow restrained himself and sniffed his hand, then he was about to taste it too.

“No! You can’t do that!” Kagome grabbed his hand at the last minute, trying to pull it out of Inuyasha’s reach, but accidentally pulling the whole patient closer to herself.

Clearly not… Inuyasha thought looking at their hands and then Kagome, while his tongue was already out of his mouth just a little bit.

“You really shouldn’t put that thing in your mouth, it would hardly even taste good…” Kagome said, then released Inuyasha’s hand in a quick motion and retreated a little further away from him, while her cheeks flushed.

How can he look sometimes so… And why I’m blushing?? My thoughts are wandering far too much now… That’s Inuyasha, wake up woman! Kagome thought and felt how her hands was getting sweaty. She closed her eyes tightly for a tiny moment.

“Just trust me now. Turn around”, Kagome ordered again to avoid Inuyasha’s gaze.

What just - happened? Inuyasha thought, when Kagome’s look somehow disturbed him. He nodded slowly and turned his back somewhat reluctantly. He grabbed Kagome’s pillow in his arms feeling a little excited and gave her a permission to apply that substance called gel, to his back.

Kagome continued her work again and Inuyasha was remaining silent. I really hope this helps you… She thought watching the bruises, while cold gel cooled her fingertips.

It was secretly fun for Kagome to follow, how Inuyasha was squirming and twisting, when he tried to understand what he was feeling in his body at that moment, as the gold gel began to seem to gradually show reactions here and there on his skin.

This feels somehow different than before. As if her touch would burn… But it doesn’t hurt, but quite the opposite. Funny feeling… Inuyasha thought, staring at the cork board hanging on the wall in front of him.

“It’s ready”, Kagome snorted as she closed the tube.

Oh… Already now? Inuyasha found himself thinking.

“Such a strange poison… That - actually helps”, he said after a moment looking relieved, when he peeked over his shoulder.

For some reason Kagome felt blushing again. She felt good while she helped, and the fact that Inuyasha took help from her, she felt like the direction was right.

“You’re welcome… Still, don’t mess with it too much now. Give it some time to heal”, Kagome advised as she got out of the bed, while Inuyasha was wearing his light shirt.

“Keh, let’s hope then there won’t be any surprises on the way home. You wouldn’t - come along already?” Inuyasha suggested from the windowsill, after grabbing his Tessaiga from the floor, though he already knows her answer.

“Not yet, I have to pack and -“

“Well, as long as you will return soon!”

Kagome watched, how Inuyasha leaped into the invisible. And he’s gone again… Well, let’s hurry up then!

She decided to take a bath and then pack her yellow backpack. The backpack became a little too heavy from schoolbooks and other necessities, as usual. Kagome said quickly goodbyes to her grandfather and mother before stepping out the door, then colliding with Sota.

“Bye then, Sota,” Kagome said to him, without stopping her way.

“Sister, isn’t there too much stuff? Are you leaving again?” the boy asked, when he saw her weighing a backpack.

“A girl can’t travel by empty-handed. You never know, what you’ll need there”, she justified.

“Okay, by the way I already saw -“

*CRASH*

“…Inuyasha”, Sota ended his sentence after Inuyasha interrupted him, as if he would have fallen from the sky.

“What are you doing there??” Kagome breathes in fright, as the silver head crashes on her backpack.

“Dumb head…” Inuyasha said, grabbed Kagome’s backpack on his shoulder and headed for the shrine.

“Let’s go already!” Inuyasha said bustling, but stopped abruptly his way and turned to stare at Kagome.

“Oi - you didn’t happen to pack that poison -“

“Oh that, I have it”, Kagome smiled at him, patted her backpack, knowing her travel company was talking about the cold gel and Inuyasha also nodded with a smile.

At least he waited, but here…? He really carries my backpack… His back also seems to be much better. Kagome thought contentedly, following him to a new adventure, forgetting everything else for a moment.

He finally started to trust me, even just a little… She thinks while lifting her tea mug to her lips, remembering how difficult the start was with Inuyasha, but how she decided not to give up on him. No matter what. How she was able to do that, she does not know even herself. How long a human can miss someone? The rest of this life, or is it possible to get used to it somehow? At least I’m not used to it yet, if I ever will… Kagome stares at the bottom of an empty mug in her thoughts.

Kagome wonders, how her nerves burned with Inuyasha’s overflowing jealousy because of Koga, however, usually enduring it somehow during their clashes.

It was kind of sweet to be jealous of me, but… Did he take me as for granted? It just felt like it at times… He immediately ran to Kikyo, if he got her scent somewhere nearby. As I turned like into air to him.Until she didn’t show up for a while. Or did I just imagine it?But even Koga noticed it and that too, how I felt when Inuyasha did that… And Inuyasha also just wondered, why I was so tense somehow after those times.

I couldn’t help it… And when someone showed some signs of interest in me, he got pissed, even though I did nothing. As if I were just his property. You - you selfish…! Urgh… I’m not some rag doll to play with, just when he or anyone else wants! But he couldn’t help it either. That’s just the way he is; always trying to save everyone, even if it’s impossible… Kagome thinks feeling little bit sad and how her pulse is rising, but then calming herself down.

Eventually, something just snapped in her head and she could not help, but explode right into Inuyasha’s face, that he can’t take her for granted. And that he always disappeared into his own little world, when he heard about Kikyo. Inuyasha did not notice any signs of danger in the air, as he said wrong things at that moment and angry Kagome used the sit command on him several times. But saying it out loud seemed to purify the air - at least for a brief moment.

However, even before that, Kagome’s heart went totally broken, when she found Inuyasha and Kikyo together in the forest, knowing Inuyasha had made his choice - and it was not Kagome. When he was ready to say goodbye for good, to focus on protecting Kikyo. However, she was not ready to hear it yet, so she went back to her own time. Kagome then realized, why she couldn’t just let it be; would return Shikon’s shards and return home, permanently. She finally realized, that she loves Inuyasha.

I didn’t meet him by chance. I couldn’t have abandoned him, no matter how many knife blows my own heart would have felt… Kagome wonders, until she suddenly covers her mouth with her hand and collapses into an almost silent cry. Why does the heart remember this same pain so well even now, over and over again? Is that why it feels, like my heart is little bit tilted? It just hasn’t forgotten yet…

Kagome lowers an empty mug to the ground and lies down on a bench. She crosses her hands on her stomach, trying to calm down. It’s all gone by now and behind, has been already a long time. It would finally be a good time, to forget all the bad… She looks at the tops of the tree and tries to get her thoughts in a more positive direction.

…To be continued…

So, now you have second chapter. Kagome and Inuyasha shared their memories, each in their own minds, in their own time. That’s why there are perspectives on both points of view in the memory part. Just for clarification, why it’s like that. :) Have a great week!

Hello everyone!

This is my very first Inuyasha fanfic, so please, be nice! ^^ I discovered Inuyasha in March-April 2020 and I fell in love with it completely. If you can find any mistakes etc. from my fanfic, please, be kind and tell me, so I can fix those! My English skills are not as good as I would like them to be, so sorry about that! I just don’t have anyone, who could read through and check my texts for me. But hopefully you readers get my point from it and can follow the story! Wonderful Rumiko Takahashi owns the characters/story, whose life I continued with my own, special color pen. Enjoy!

When Your Heart Makes a Wish

Old, hidden well. It is waiting, hearing the wish of the heart. Remembering. When there is only memories left. Those memories, that only someone special can share with you. Regardless of time or place. Another wish has been made too, hesitantly. Without daring to hope for, what the heart wants most. But that’s enough. The well is not alone - someone is running towards it. Fast, like it is about life or death. Opens the doors, runs down the stairs, stops and jumps without hesitating at all. Wishing…

“I need to see him. Please, let me go to him!”

The light flow glows from the depths of the well. But something is not right there. That old well knows the wishes, without knowing theirs destiny.

Chapter 1 - After all these years

Kagome is enchanted while she is looking at the night sky at her home yard on temple square. Wondering, how the stars are shining so brightly there. They had never appeared like this in her time before, because the light pollution too skillfully concealing its beauty. But now they shine as if the lights of the whole city had gone out.

“A shooting star… Second one, and third!” a young woman breathes in enchantment.

Stars are falling above her, like little diamonds. The sight is so dumbfounded, that Kagome does not even notice to make a wish. But the sight also makes her remember, how she loved falling asleep under the stars. If only I could share this sight… With him. She finds herself thinking.

Suddenly she hears it; the voice she heard coming from the sanctuary building, was so familiar, that it could not be mistaken. She had not heard it in years. Kagome runs as fast as she can, her long black hair fluttering and hearing how blood rushed in her ears. She opens the doors with hurry, runs down the stairs and jumps into the embrace of the old well. Kagome falls, but unexpectedly into someone’s arms at the bottom of the well. After surviving of the fright, Kagome bursts into a wide smile.

“Inuyasha, you got here! How this is possible??”, Kagome’s happy voice echoes from the walls of the well.

She drops down from Inuyasha’s arms and snaps herself around his neck, hugging firmly. Inuyasha hesitates for a little moment, then hugs back gently, until he hugs her harder than ever before. Kagome is very surprised, but at the same time rejoices, when Inuyasha hugs her so. You really are here… I can’t believe this! Kagome feels overwhelmed with happiness.

“I guess, you also missed me for a little bit?”, she asks, gently touching the other soft silver-white dog ear above Inuyasha’s head.

“Kagome…”, he only gets answered quietly.

“I-is everything alright?”, Kagome asks, when he is pretty quiet, just hugging her.

“I wanted to see you. You smell nice, I don’t want to let go of you…”, Inuyasha slurs into Kagome’s hair, sounding like he is half asleep.

“Then don’t…”, Kagome responds happily.

“Hey… I would like to be like this with you, no matter how long, but let’s go up. I want to show you something!”, Kagome says after a while, remembering the starry sky.

“No, I didn’t come to stay. I decided… I made my choice; I’m going to protect Kikyo. I choose hell, as she hopes for our destiny. I owe my life to her…”, Inuyasha says coldly.

Kagome blinks her eyes in disbelief and rips herself away from the hug. Something is not right…Kagome wonders.

“What on earth are you telling me? But she’s not -”, Kagome asks, examining Inuyasha’s calm face, him suddenly interrupting her.

“You stay here. I’m not going to see you again. Sorry…”, he mutters.

Kagome begins to get anxious without understanding, what Inuyasha is talking about. He still wants to follow Kikyo, even after everything we have gone through together? But Kikyo’s soul found peace years ago, she’s not in hell. What has happened in his time, while I have been here? She wonders feverishly, unable to stop the tears from coming anymore.

“I have missed you for years down to my heart roots, and now when you are finally here, you are only abandoning me, huh?!”, Inuyasha’s glazed gaze becomes frustrated as she looks at the upset woman.

“Stop that whining! I also needed these -”, Inuyasha says and shows a small glass jar in his hand, Shikon shards inside of it.

Kagome instinctively tries out the pocket of her green skirt, which really is empty.

“You scamp, did you hug me like that, just to get the Shikon shards from me?!”, she yells furiously at him, until she realizes something.

Wait a minute - Shikon jewel was intact and destroyed, then why did I still have those shards?Kagome is now even more confused.

“No, I didn’t… I really meant what I said, when I hugged you. I need to say goodbye to you, I don’t want to hurt you anymore. But I really don’t want you to hate me…”, Inuyasha speaks again, but softer, the expression on his face turning softer too.

“No… You can’t go, you don’t belong there!”, Kagome sticks in horror at Inuyasha’s red kimono, shaking this.

“How can you choose Kikyo? S-she tried to kill you - and me too! Don’t you care at all??”, she cries, like there is no end to her tears.

“Kikyo would never have done that to you, why are you fabricating such lies? This is already hard enough…”, Inuyasha replies little bit angrily.

He doesn’t believe me… Why can’t you believe me?! Kagome feels like she can’t breathe.

“It’s not love, if you take your beloved one with you to hell! You need to live, Inuyasha! You have friends here, who really care about you! And I… I love you!”, she tries to talk, but it is getting more difficult to do, so she buries her face in Inuyasha’s kimono, sobbing.

“S-stop it already! I had to choose! She needs me, my life belongs to her… You’ll be safe here - from me too!”, Inuyasha shouts, when his eyes and voice are now full of pain now, while his tears are falling from his cheeks into Kagome’s hair.

Inuyasha seems struggling to get his words said. He pushes the opposing Kagome further away from himself. Inuyasha begins to tremble slightly, while his hands are clenching into fists. Kagome is looking at him feeling a little fear in her, that a half demon would turn into a full demon at any moment. To her horror, his tears are turning red, blood.

Tears of blood, has the Flower Prince demon come back to life? Are you under his spell? Kagome wonders in panic, when she remembers the creepy encounter with the demon and how Inuyasha almost ended up following Kikyo through his sleep to the afterlife. She tries to wipe the blood off from Inuyasha’s face with the sleeves of her shirt, but the tears of blood won’t stop coming.

“We need you too here, you idiot! I won’t let her take you away! Don’t do this, please!”, Kagome begs, she didn’t want to lose Inuyasha again.

Inuyasha finally calms down. His long, silver-white hair is starting to turn black and his golden yellow eyes brown, as he becomes human. Like his fangs, long nails and dog ears disappearing as well. Inuyasha pushes shocked Kagome to her knees to the ground, takes off his kimono and swings it around Kagome, kneeling in front of her.

“Let it protect you, I failed at it. I hope you can forgive me someday. Goodbye, my beloved Kagome…”, he smiles sadly at Kagome while touching her cheek, gets up closing his eyes and disappears into the flames.

”INUYASHAA!”, Kagome screams his name in her distress, as much she is capable from crying, but in vain.

She feels how the flames are burning her too in a horrible way, she had never felt before. Kagome hears Kikyo’s laughter, the wicked one she had heard once before. In panic, Kagome beats the ground at the bottom of the well so violently, that the skin comes off her hands and blood begins to flow. She doesn’t care, she just lost Inuyasha again. And she will never see him again.

Kagome does not even realize, what forces make herself climb up the ladder up the well and the stairs of the sanctuary up to the empty home yard. She stops in the middle of the yard looking at the night sky, which is now completely black - starless. Tears well up in her eyes again. She is trudging to the Holy Tree and leans against it, like she would be praying for help from it in her pain. While she touches the bark of the tree, the blood of both of them sticks to it from her hands. Kagome sinks on the ground at the base of the tree, with her arms around her, closing her eyes. Hearing Inuyasha’s voice, his goodbyes echoing in her ears.

You said you will always be with me, Inuyasha… But I can’t feel you anymore.

The stars in Kagome’s sky had disappeared.

A New Day

Kagome wakes up in her own bed sweaty, gasping for breath and crying. Buyo the cat rolls off from her stomach to the floor, habitually jumps back and wraps himself around to the end of the bed, next to her feet. It has slept every night next to Kagome since her returning back home, as if he would be guardinging her sleep.

It was just a dream, a good, bad dream… Kagome thinks and feels somehow angry. She has seen very oppressive dreams of another time again recently, but this dream was definitely the one of the worst for a long time. Kagome gets up to sit on the edge of the bed, trying to calm herself down. She had not cried in her sleep for a long time either, probably for a couple of years. It is a disgusting way for her to wake up, but that was what had started to happen, when the well closed permanently.

“Happy birthday to you…”, Kagome mutters, wipes away the tears and starts to examine her hands.

She would not have been surprised, even if she had seen wounds in them. It was as real as a dream can be, like her hands were really on fire because of the pain. Suddenly Kagome startled while remembering a moment, when Inuyasha held her hand in the same room and almost kissed her.

“Where did that come from…?”, she wonders.

The longing that creeps into her mind, seems to grow into a big tsunami after a long time, which would drown her in an instant moment, if she gave the power to it. Kagome closes her eyes tightly for a moment and notices, that she is shaking. She glances at the alarm clock. It’s only five in the morning, but I know I won’t get any sleep now, even I would try. Kagome thinks.

Judging by the silence her mother, grandfather and little brother Sota are still in deep sleep. She gets up gently on her trembling legs and wears a warm, long pink coat. The cold open air greets her, as she opens the window of her room. Kagome’s gaze hits the dusty traces on the windowsill. She has not wanted to clean them out, although she has seriously considered it in her weak moments. However, she wants to keep at least something - a small piece of him. That guest with dusty toes, won’t come to visit us anymore… Without her notice, Kagome’s shoulders fall slightly lower.

She closes the window and decides to already make her bed. Then she goes quietly into the bathroom and stops in front of the mirror. Black fluffy hair seemed desperately need a tamer. Hair tresses can be seen here and there, sticking to her sweaty skin. Somewhat sad, crying-smeared blue eyes are looking back in the mirror. The sight makes Kagome feel even more miserable.

This will definitely be one of those days, when I should have just stayed under warm cover. Fortunately, these days have been really rare, then before… Kagome wonders. She washes her face with as cold water as possible and looks at her reflection in the mirror again.How on earth do I get the corners of my mouth turned up today, with tape maybe? She sighs deeply.

“Happy face, Kagome. Happy thoughts… Birthday. It’s something happy, isn’t it?”, she sees her reflection smiling and tries to trick herself into a better mood.

Everything’s fine, right? A smile will reach my eyes too, hopefully later. Kagome dries her face and decides to go down to the kitchen to make some tea. I could go enjoy it outdoors, fresh air would definitely do good for me… As the water boils, Kagome picks up her shoes from the hallway and thinks about her dream. Why are my dreams so real again, so damn distressing?

It has been three years since she returned home, permanently to her own time. The early days had been awful for her, like downright hell. It felt like the longing became more physical day by day. And even though she had felt many kinds of pain during her life, she had not even been able to prepare for such like it was. Like a poisonous miasma had left to gnaw in her veins.

She could not properly accept, that Inuyasha would no longer come to meet her, would lean against the doorstep of the sanctuary and greet her in his typical, sometimes rough way. With a smile, which had almost begun to take Kagome out of her feet, without her noticing. That dangerous thought of losing him, almost paralyzed her for a very long time. She could suddenly fall to her knees on the ground in the middle of the chores, without getting up by herself. Kagome wanted to yell his name, but in the end could no longer do so either. Somehow, she felt as if there were no longer stars in her night sky, only darkness remaining.

Dreams made sure, she would not forget Inuyasha even while sleeping. Thanks to her subconscious, where the memories also seemed to have etched. Nightmares turned into sleep paralysis in the worst of times. Sometimes Kagome saw Naraku beside her planning to suffocate her with a pillow, when on other nights Kikyo was threatening her life with an arrow, while Kagome was unable to defend herself in any way. She began to learn to wake herself from those, but the nightmares continued through the night and she just had to endure them.

Kagome has felt as if part of her had stayed at another time. She wondered if she would ever get it back, or if she would feel this way even decades from now. Family, friends, and a focus on school helped her go on with her life, as normally as she could. Still, something held Kagome in its grip and did not let her forget, even if it had been easier. She just was not feeling like herself anymore. She had to try to get her life back on track. To be brisk, to survive even somehow. Kagome began to push aside her memories of the past from her mind; of her friends - almost everything. She was unable to look at her suffering loved ones anymore, who were constantly terribly worried about her well-being. She really did not want to worry them indefinitely. Kagome prayed for strength from his father, both for herself and her loved ones, so that they could cope with her in those difficult times.

Kagome grabs her favorite tea mug from the closet’s shelf. She adds some honey to the tea and mixes it, while Buyo appears next to her and pushes gently her feet.

“Good morning, my chubby one. You better stay inside, it’s still pretty chilly outside”, Kagome squats to rub Buyo’s ears, sinking into her thoughts as the memory of happy Inuyasha playing on the floor with the cat surprises her.

“Just the person I was waiting for! Oi, Kagome!”

Kagome’s heart misses a beat. What - his voice… She shakes her head desperately, trying to get her thoughts back on track.Gosh…He did it again, sneaked into my thoughts, like stealth…

“Do you miss him too?”, Kagome asks from Buyo, who just stares at her, then winking his right eye.

Kagome gets up on her feet, slips the shoes to her feet and takes the tea mug with her. She steps out the door and inhales the peppermint-smelling steam, which is rising from her mug. The sun has already risen, the home yard is quiet except for the birds singing.

“Seems to be way too beautiful day coming, compared to my mood. On days like this, it should just pouring rain like crazy, with big water drops. And frogs…”, Kagome murmurs and closes the door behind her.

She wonders, if she really dares to be in such silence with her thoughts alone right now. Kagome nods, as if encouraging herself, and walks slowly forward across the home yard, as if only her feet were deciding where to go. She pauses for a moment her way and glances at the sanctuary, still clearly remembering her nightmare. Kagome now remembers after a long time that painful moment, when Inuyasha disappeared back into the well after their return. She had felt an almost similar wave of pain back then, when she realized, that the well would probably no longer work in either direction, because the Shikon jewel was destroyed, as she felt in her nightmare when Inuyasha disappeared into the flames.

So much was left unsaid… The swish of the leaves of the great Holy Tree, awakens her from her deep thoughts, while a little whirlwind sweeps Kagome’s hair on her face. She sits on a bench next to a tree, pulls her coat’s hood over her head and focuses on her tea, before it would be cold. Or at least she tries her best.

…To be continued…

Thank you for reading! This was just the beginning of their story. Leave a review, what’s on your mind. Thank you and stay safe! :) -Sinjata