#it is true

ineedmygirlbythenational:

when people who only follow me on normie social medias are like ‘wow you’re never online you barely ever post’ im always like :) thank you :) yes I am extremely offline. without mentioning that I spend like 15 hours a day posting nonsense on a barely functional social media app that most people think shut down in 2018

berlynn-wohl:

I’ll tell you what’s problematic about being over 40 and being friends with someone under 25: if you say “but I am le tired” they do not understand that they are supposed to say “well have a nap AND ZEN FIRE ZE MISSILES”

a-cold-boy:

It’s very easy to say that magic doesn’t exist, but ultimately computers work by channeling lightning through a series of crystals, so who’s really to say.

shitty-science:

Spiders in europe have 2.4384 meters instead of 8 feet

kawaiite-mage:

woodrider:

women hate me and fish attack me on sight

I’m surrounded by beautiful fish and women and they’re telling me they don’t know you

specialk-18:

Y'all know something. Tom seems like that guy who you underestimate the strength of. Idk why, but I feel like I’d end up teasing this man but end up looking like this after everything is all said and done

awkwardrocker:

I have a better shot of dating a famous band member than I do actually getting financial aid for college

the-brave-and-the-dumb:

kaava:

Literally