Well… it kind of turned out as a complete abomination… but have a little color experiment/ tribute! c8 Today is the feast day of Joan of Arc (my patron saint). Called at the age of 13, led the French to victory, martyred age 19. Talk about doing a lot in not much time, huh?
PREMISE: If someone told you to crack a case, would you heed the call? What if that someone was… God? When Joan of Arc got tired of having to hang out with Charles VII and the French army all the time, she faked being burned at the stake. Joan thought her days of being bossed around by God were over, until one day, she once again hears the voice of the Lord. But this time, He doesn’t want her to drive the English from France—He needs a partner to help Him solve murders. Will Joan and God be able to put aside their differences and work together to unravel Europe’s most diabolical murder mysteries?
CHARACTERS: Joan of Arc just wants to be a normal, by the books teenager, but God keeps pulling her into crazy situations. Though she proves to be an adept detective, and has excellent sword skills that she uses to take down criminals, what she really wants is to retire to private life and follow her true passion: playing the lute. God, the creator of the universe, is Joan’s wacky partner. He’s got a short attention span (hence His sudden interest in having Joan help Him solve random murders), and He’s forever getting Joan into messes and conveniently “disappearing” when it comes time to clean them up. God, being able to see all the past and all the future, often makes anachronistic references that He has to explain to Joan—Elvis jokes are a particular favorite. The fact that only Joan can hear the voice of God was often played for laughs; in many episodes, a minor character or extra would observe Joan seemingly talking to herself, and that person would exaggeratedly roll his eyes and/or make a “this maid must be drunk” gesture at the camera. God was voiced by Steve Buscemi.
NOTABLE EPISODE: God and Joan head back to her old stomping grounds, Orléans, to look into a killing that He suspects may be mob-related. Though Joan doesn’t know what the mob is, she reluctantly agrees to investigate so that God will stop bugging her. God’s tip about the Mafia turns out to be way off, since the Mafia doesn’t exist yet, but Joan manages to solve the case anyway, though in the process, she is detained by some priests. God feels bad, so he sends Joan’s captors into a deep slumber, and makes and a cell key appear in Joan’s hand (S02.E09 — “The Made Man of Orléans”).
CATCHPHRASE: “I have a mission for thou, shouldst thou choose to accept it.”
TRIVIA/MISCELLANY: Though he officially denounced The New Adventures of Joan of Arc, the Pope is known to secretly be a big fan of the show.
The executioner was there. English soldiers held her slight figure as she was bound to the wooden stake high above the waiting crowd. Her lips moved in restless, ceaseless prayer. Now the air was shifting: a snapping in the ears; a catch of smoke in the throat. Her voice was high and urgent. ‘Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.’ The fire burned.
Her penultimate sighs. Called softy on the kindling wind. Her saintly eyes filling with tears, lifting with truth. And then a golden flash like the onset of Heaven. Leaving her screams breaking my heart. And in the grip of fire. I knew the death of love.
“Every man gives his life for what he believes. Every woman gives her life for what she believes. Sometimes people believe in little or nothing, and so they give their lives to little or nothing. One life is all we have, and we live it as we believe in living it…and then it’s gone. But to surrender who you are and to live without belief is more terrible than dying – even more terrible than dying young.” ― Joan of Arc
Just when I thought I had given up on Inktober (actually just had some big files at work that took 10+ minutes to save) I also just finished re-watching one of my favourite shows ever. We’re all Joan deep down, aren’t we?
