*trembling & shaking with excitement at the fact that he’s about to get told off and lectured and possibly even yelled at* actually, my dear doctor Bashir, I think you will find that terran sharks are actually completely smooth to the touch!
[ID: a screencap of Julian Bashir from Deep Space Nine smiling with a tweet from @_max_monday that says “i’m a gold star bisexual. the gold star has nothing to do with my bisexuality, i’ve just been very good today and i deserve one [smiley face].” End ID]
ID: handshake meme with “ed teach” on one hand and “elim garak” on the other. in the middle it reads “having a bf who romanticises ur horrifying and traumatising job”. End ID.
Julian Bashir is such a hilarious character conceptually. What if we took one of the most attractive men you’ve ever seen and give him a series of absolutely deranged character traits?
He’s got a foot fetish. He’s one of the most beautiful men alive, but TERRIBLE with women. He loves tennis but for some reason only plays racquetball. He’s got a teddy bear named Kukalaka. He’s a genetically augmented super genius and an absolute moron. He tried to skip rocks over a sentient puddle. His best friends on the station are 1.) a Cardassian super spy and assassin who wants to fuck him 2.) an emotionally repressed Irishman and 3.) a worm. When presented with aforementioned Cardassian spy the first thing he does is form a book club. He’s obsessed with LARPing. He has a spy kink. He’s physically incapable of shutting the fuck up. Every time he tries to go to an academic conference he gets kidnapped. His job at DS9 is his first fucking jobout of college.
Goodness, it has been a while! Let’s start off the posts with a celebratory cream pie! There’s nothing better than enjoying lunch on the Promenade with one of your better friends. The only thing that makes it more enjoyable is if you have time for dessert! Doctor Bashir is, of course, always a little skeptical of having lunch with Garak, but who could say no to such a delicious dessert (DS9: Distant Voices).
This pie uses blueberries to colour it purple, although you can also use food colouring (either in addition or as a substitute). If using blueberries, do not be tempted to add them earlier than when the recipe specifies! Blueberries contain a chemical which reacts with cornflour to turn setting things into soupy, non-setting things. Trust me, I’ve had first hand experience with this! By adding the blueberry mix once the pie filling has cooled down, you avoid this issue and your pie will set nicely. Additionally, I have provided instructions for making your own pie pastry below but you can always use a premade pie crust instead.
Replicate your own (Makes 1 22-24cm / 8-9inch pie, enough to serve 10-12 people).
For the pie crust: 180g / 6.34oz butter at room temperature 240g / 8.46oz plain flour 2 tablespoons cold water 1 teaspoon caster sugar (optional)
Preheat your oven to 180°C / 350°F. You will need a pie or tart tin, 22-24cm / 8-9inches in diameter.
You will need to start this recipe 2-3 hours before you plan on serving it (at a minimum) to account for cooling times. Overnight is better if possible.
Rub the flour (and if using, the sugar) into the butter until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs. Add the water and mix swiftly until combined into a shaggy lump. You can refrigerate it at this point (for an hour or more) or use immediately.
Roll the dough out between two pieces of non stick baking paper. When it is large enough, peel off the top piece of baking paper and then upend the bottom piece over your pie tin. You should be able to position the dough and then peel the baking paper off.
Push the dough into the corners and sides of the tin until it is even. Trim any excess from around the edge. Use a fork to poke the bottom of the dough to avoid the pastry puffing up. Scrunch up one of the pieces of baking paper you used to roll the dough out, flatten it out again and place in in the pie tin. Fill with pie weights, coins or dry beans.
Bake the pie crust for 15 minutes, then remove the baking paper and weights and cook for another 3-4 minutes, until uniformly golden brown (this pie will not be cooked again so you want it at fully cooked stage). Remove and set aside to cool while you make the filling.
For the yigrish filling: 1 can (270ml / 9fl oz) coconut milk 1 ¾ cups milk (divided into 1 ¼ cups and ½ cup) 4 egg yolks ½ cup caster sugar ¼ cup cornflour 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 punnet (125g / 4.4oz) blueberries Red & blue food colouring, optional ½ cup shredded, toasted coconut, optional, for the top of the pie
In a large saucepan, whisk together the egg yolks, caster sugar, cornflour and vanilla until they are thoroughly combined.
In a smaller saucepan, heat the coconut milk and 1 ¼ cups of the milk until almost boiling. Add a few tablespoons of the heated milk mixture to the egg mixture and whisk in. Do this a couple more times to warm the eggs up and ensure no scrambled eggs! You can then pour all the milk mixture in and whisk well to combine.
Return the saucepan to a low heat and cook, whisking for 5-7 minutes or until the mixture thickens. Remove it from the heat and cover the surface with plastic and leave it to cool to room temperature (this will take an hour or so).
By this time, both your pie crust and mixture should be cooled to room temperature. Once everything is at room temperature, you can continue.
Place most of your blueberries (reserve 10-15 of them to use on the top of the pie) in a blender or food processor and add the remaining ½ cup milk. Process until the blueberries are well broken up and the milk is purple.
Optional, but recommended: use a strainer to strain out the remaining pulp and skins of the blueberries so you’re left with smooth purple milk.
Remove the plastic wrap from your pie filling and stir in the blueberry-milk mixture. If you need more purple colour than that provided by the blueberries, add some food colouring and stir in well.
Pour the mixture into the pie crust and smooth the top. Refrigerate until it is set, about 2 hours, or leave overnight.
To serve, sprinkle the shredded toasted coconut over the top of the pie (if using) and dot with the remaining blueberries. Enjoy in the company of good friends, or at the very least, your friendly neighbourhood spy.
