Justin Timberlake must have thought people forgot how he co-opted black culture for profit and then stood by and let Janet Jackson get crucified in the media for Nipplegate. The problem with him saying that he was “inspired” by Jesse Williams speech is that he didn’t really listen to the speech at all. Then tried to answer to the backlash with the “we’re all the same”, no we aren’t. Jesse Williams speech addressed him and people like him that like to gentrify black culture yet are silent on black issues.
“We just wanna dance again!” I’m gotta co-sign with my other BIMH in the above clip (if it hasn’t expired). Other BIMH?! Don’t worry, JT! You are and always will be my number one. To paraphrase you, “Ain’t no other woman gonna take your spot, my love.” It’s just that I have this soft spot for funny Jewish Guys. Kinda started with Steve Guttenberg and stuck with me. Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, Paul Reiser and Jasons SchwartzmanandSegel. Yes, even Seth Rogen. Well, chubby Seth Rogen circa Knocked Up(that tush!) - Pineapple Express (looked like somebody was smuggling pineapples in those tight pants of his). I not quite sure how I feel aboutGreen HornetRogen, but Jay Chou aka Kato 2.0? Definite BIMH material.
Sorry JT. But just like Bishop Eddie Long without the wigs, the Bentley, the private plane and –thankfully– the lawsuits, I’m not a perfect man. Hell, honey, I got more soft spots than a rotting cantaloupe and smoking hot Asian dudes happen to be one of them. But that’s neither here nor there! We’re talking about you, my darling.
Been busy here, lately, huh? Not that I’m keeping tabs or checking my Justin Timberlake Google alerts religiously. It’s just … I noticed you’ve been making the rounds. SNL cameos, Fashion Week for William Rast and press interviews for The Social Network. No rest for the wickedly handsome. Right on the heels of The Social Network, you’ve got another movie to plug. But let’s not talk about that one. Like The Love Guru, I’ll just pretend that it doesn’t exist. Seems like you’re doing everything but the music.
I take that back. There was “Carry Out” earlier this year. Extended food metaphor + Justin Timberlake = My Wet Dream. That tune hit all the right buttons for me and surprisingly enough the BIRL (Boyfriend in Real Life) was a fan too. “Even though that asshole is on it, I like that song!” he raved. But “Carry Out” was only appetizer. I need twothree number threes: a whole helluva lot of me and super-sized side of you. Maybe throw in a few extra napkins too, because I’m fairly you, me, me, you might get a little messy from all the secret sauce. (note from Editor-in-my-head: Extended Food Metaphor + Felipe Anuel’s Sauce= Ewww!)
It’s almost been about five years since you brought SexyBack and it’s done gone since then. Now all we have is some little lesbian mop-top that has all tweeners (and registered sex offenders) in a tizzy! Then there’s that drag queen that thinks its perfectly fine to show up at award ceremonies in butcher shop shavings. It’s a world gone mad. I’m scared and I need that sweet falsetto of yours to assure me that everything will be okay. And if it isn’t gonna be all right, just give me something to dance to while the earth continues to collapse beneath our feet. Give me an album, Justin.
