I’m sorry. For a long time, I was trying to save you. I thought If I did, somehow that would make up for the things I’ve done. You never asked to be saved. You cannot absolve my sins, no one can. I know this now. So… I leave you alone.
Or why that conflict in the church between Kimiko and Frenchie is a good (if painful) thing to witness
This episode was a real low point for Kimiko and Frenchie in that it forced the low simmering issues between the two to boil over.
And while that was very difficult to watch, I’m also glad that their issues are now out in the open – because only by acknowledging them can the show and the characters begin to address them.
(I’d also say that having the two come into this kind of conflict also shows how important the show considers their relationship – however the show wants to define that right now – and how it privileges their own individual journeys as well)
More meandering meta under the cut
Kimiko is carrying around this huge weight of guilt and shame that she doesn’t know how quite to deal with, so she’s effectively not dealing with it and instead channeling her grief and hurt into hurting other people.
Frenchie sees this and it hurts him – not just because he cares about Kimiko and recognizes that it’s, as he says, poison for her soul but because he himself understands what she’s going through in a way no one else does.
Which is why this is extra hurtful for him. What makes their relationship so special for Frenchie is that he’s never had one like it in terms of non-physical intimacy, so to see Kimiko hurting like this and not sharing that hurt with him when he feels like he’s shared so much with her just hurts in a whole new and deeper way.
That hurt goes past frustration and bubbles over into anger when Kimiko signs to him that she doesn’t want his help, but he can’t know what she’s saying because she hasn’t opened herself up enough to teach him that. And that lack of openness and intimacy is the real thing that breaks him wide open and causes him to lash out against her.
And though it can be frustrating that she hasn’t shared that language with him, I think that we have to see it from the point of view that this shared, created language is one of the most sacred and special parts of herself. And even though she and Frenchie are close, it isn’t easy to share everything about yourself. Kimiko has been so traumatized that she’s literally lost her ability to speak, so opening herself up to communicating again isn’t going to happen quickly or easily.
There’s also the added facet that this is the language that she made with her brother, who is now lost to her forever. It’s hard to share something so special with someone new, and I bet there’s a part of Kimiko that feels like she’s honoring her brother by keeping that language just between the two of them.
Imentioned in my last meta that there’s a real barrier to any further growth or intimacy between the two of them because of their inability to communicate freely and easily. But whereas that issue was lingering just beneath the surface, this episode brings it all out into the open in the most painful way possible.
But it’s necessary pain, because only in bringing their issues to light can either of them ever hope to address them.
In order to move forward, Kimiko needs to find a way to heal in a way that isn’t destructive, Frenchie needs to recognize Kimiko’s autonomy AND address his own trauma, and both these things must be communicated with the other person.
Luckily, the show not only recognizes this, it works to address them – which is why I’ve constantly said that someone on the staff has to be a Kimiko x Frenchie shipper, lol.
I know this episode was really hard to watch for our little ship, but as someone who has seen the whole season (I got press screeners), I have to say that I absolutely LOVED the last three episodes, and that the show doesn’t let us shippers suffer for long.
Considering continuing “You Explained the Infinite” to go into how Frenchie basically became fluent in Kimiko’s sign language in like – at the most – two weeks. That period of time is full of fic potential.
Legit question. People are so worried about Homelander overhearing them as they plan his death… Why don’t these guys learn sign from Kimiko or speak another language? We all know that asshole can only speak English, they can talk about blowing his head off right in front of him in Spanish and just say they are thinking about lunch.
90% of the problems in The Boys can be solved if Annie, Maeve and the others just download Duolingo
