Okay, I’m just gonna say it: I find it really interesting how “groomer” became the new exclusionist buzzword about ten seconds after it became the hot new right-wing slur for queer folks.
It’s not that the accusations are new - they’ve been calling everyone they disagree with pedos for ages now.But theshift in language?That’sextremely recent. And, IMO, revealing.
They’re freebasing fascism and they don’t even know it.
Ah yes because also wanting cishet folk to not do the same shit in public totally makes me queerphobic. Makes me, a jew, a facist for not wanting children to see full on kink.
Collars and masks and stuff that isn’t blatantly sexual is fine. But flogging and other shit, which is the example been brought up, is not okay from anyone, cishet or not.
#1: The kink at pride discourse? You could really just say “I’ve never attended a pride parade and open queer sexuality scares me,” and get the exact same point across
#2: Holy mother of God do you actually think fascism is the opposite of Judaism? That is a UNIQUE take.
I’m stuck on “flogging is an explicit sex act.” Far more extreme violence is in every piece of popular media, news and sports in the US. Because that’s not what sex is and that’s not how sex works.
Even if I give the benefit of the doubt that something we often see in children’s cartoons is “blatant sex” because of the implications of the setting? People don’t flog each other in all-ages areas!!
Places where children are expected as part of Pride do not have active kink demonstrations. This person is just making up bullshit about how The Nasty Queers Are Sexually Abusing Children and somehow thinks that’s progressive??
Just a small section of the asexual groups on Fetlife! Many ace people are a part of the kink community because kink is not always about sex! Kink can provide ways to play and be physically intimate without sex, which can be liberating!
As a person who has always had an unusual interest in sex and sexuality, and a high sex drive to match…I’ve often felt othered by my peers and culturally pressured to suppress that aspect of myself.
In fact, the stigmatization is so bad it took me almost 30 years to notice that all the words we have to talk about highly sexual people are exclusively for disordered sexuality. This led me to work on creating an identity and flag for people like me, who are highly sexual, but not in a way that negatively impacts life.
Flag Meaning
Green represents consent, communication and respect. It takes up the most space, and is in the center because consent is the foundation of healthy sexuality.
Purple represents sensuality, intimacy and vulnerability
Warm pink represents raw sexual power, and carnality
Black represents support for safe, sane kink exploration
FAQ
What is extrasexual and what is supersexual? The terms can be used interchangeably. A supersexual or extrasexual person is someone who is highly sexual, but not in a way that is causing them distress or damaging their life. This is contrasted with hypersexuality, which is a term meant for people who have a disordered relationship with their high sex drive. It may be easiest to think of extrasexuality and supersexuality as the opposite of asexuality.
Isn’t that just ‘horny’? While it’s true that extrasexual and supersexual people are often horny, the word horny is not an identity, it’s a feeling. As such, people of all identities, (even some ace people) can feel horny. Extrasexuality and supersexuality are terms exclusively for people with a much higher than average sex drive or interest in sex/sexuality.
Why do these identities need to exist? First, to combat stigma. The stigmatization of sex and the people who are passionate about sex in our culture is often so pervasive that it’s invisible. It’s easier to bring attention and respect to these issues if we have terms that people can take seriously. Second, to create community. It’s useful to have terms and a flag to rally under, so people who have suffered in similar ways can connect and offer each other the kind of support you can only get from people who understand your experience directly.
Are extrasexual and supersexual ‘queer’? Are we doing LGBTQIAES+ now??? No. Though many queer people are also extrasexual/supersexual, having a high sex drive alone is not enough to warrant inclusion under those labels. While extrasexual and supersexual people experience stigma and shame for who they are, that shame is not rooted in homophobia. The communities can support one another effectively as allies.
What ways are extrasexual/supersexual people stigmatized? To begin with, many of the world’s largest religions mandate modesty, chastity and sexual purity. Women in particular are considered heathens or sinners for engaging in perfectly consensually and safe sex, especially outside of marriage. All throughout human history women have been stoned to death, burned alive and otherwise killed in the name of sexual purity. Even today, many women feel extreme shame about their own bodies, and guilt for enjoying sex.
Men are often expected to be extrasexual, even when they are not. They’re pressure to pursue sex in unhealthy and coersive ways in order to establish social standing. As a result, men who are extrasexual may be rewarded if they are considered conventionally attractive and socially intelligent in their social circles. For extrasexual men who are not considered conventionally attractive, or live with nuerodivergency like autism however, are likely to be considered inherently predatory if they even mention sex.
Sexuality has also been legally controlled in a myriad of ways, from the criminalization of sex work, to decency laws controlling what types of bodies can even appear in porn.
Aren’t overly sexual people dangerous? Anyone, regardless of their personal relationship with sex can violate consent. Consent is especially important when it comes to the topic of sex and sexuality because bodies are highly personal to us. While sex has the potential to be a very intimate and bonding experience, it’s that same vulnerability that can create risk. Many people have had experiences where their bodies were not respected, and as a result have been hurt or now live with trauma. Being extrasexual/supersexual is NEVER an excuse not to respect consent. That’s why the color green, representing consent, is in the center of the extrasexual/supersexual pride flag, and also takes up the most space. It’s the absolute foundation of a strong community that prioritizes reducing harm.
Sadly, it’s the stigmatization of sex that has led people to feel afraid to have the open dialogues that are required for creating a strong consent culture. It’s led people to feel ashamed to seek help when something has happened to them. https://www.consent.academy/book.html is an invaluable resource on how we can work together to build a consent culture that works for everyone, supersexual/extrasexual or otherwise.
marginalizing human sexuality is not normal. its the product of a long tradition of patriarchal, religious zeal. theres no place for sex negativity on the left.
For the entirely of the history of the patriarchy, criminalizing sex work has been one of it’s primary goals. Anti sex worker=patriarchy, plain and simple.
invite me over to smoke and get me too high. bring me to ur bed and tell me ur just helping me to bed, don’t worry, u won’t hurt me.
i’ll try to protest u sliding ur hand up my skirt, but will barely be able to get words out.
hook ur fingers around my panties and pull them down quickly before taking ur cock out.
flip me over then push my head into the pillow and force urself inside me. make me take ur cock, make it fit even when i say it wont.
go on about how much of a tease i am, always walking around w crop tops and tight shorts, bending over all the time while wearing no panties.
tell me ur gonna keep me all drugged up and naked all the time for easy access. tell me ur gonna force me down on my knees so i can suck ur cock. tell me how ur gonna stretch out all my holes and break me in half.
flip me onto my back and abuse my clit, rubbing it roughly, twisting it, pulling on it. grinning sadistically as u hear my moans and see my body jump
make me shake as i cum from being taken advantage of. make fun of me and mock me, calling me a whore and slut for liking it so much.
tell me that ur gonna cum inside me and get me pregnant, gonna fill me up w ur cum until i cant fit anymore, gonna be ur breeding whore and gonna make me . tell me my only purpose is to please u.
make me cum again before holding my hips against urs and unleashing ur cum into my cunt, making me inhale sharply.
make sure all ur cum is inside me before pulling out n watching the cum drip out of me.
leave me there, abused, used, and full of cum as u start to roll another blunt to get me high again
(ง'̀-‘́)งCONSENT IS MANDATORY(ง'̀-‘́)ง
☞︎☞︎☞︎i dont consent to any asks of people describing fantasies☜︎☜︎☜︎
Recently I shot with a studio for the first time! I feel like we often hear the worst of the worst about working in the porn industry, so I wanted to share my experience working with a Grooby photographer/videographer for their Transnificent project.
I received an email as we were working out the logistics of the shoot about every single detail that I might need to expect. ID was checked, and I ended up filming my verbal consent for the activities in all the photos and videos.
I went alone to the hotel room of the shoot and the photographer was extremely respectful. He wouldn’t even touch my possessions without asking first and never laid a hand on me. What went into that content was all negotiated based on my comfort. My comfort and consent was a sincere priority.
In the end I had a ton of fun doing something I’m passionate about, making porn!!! The porn industry has had issues deserving of criticism, but there’s also so much value in recognizing when the industry has learned and grown in order to keep people safe and happy in their work.
I love when someone gives you a kink. Like you weren’t into it at all but then they confess and suddenly it’s all you can think about. More often than not, kinks in long term relationships are very much a “what’s mine is yours” situation. Sharing is caring
I’ve gotten a lot of kinks just talking about them with friends who know me well enough to explain how it could be hot for me too
Online queers already posting their lukewarm takes on how the idea of a gay dude wearing a harness makes him unsafe to be around children while we are in the middle of a trans panic where our access to healthcare and public spaces is being denied on the principle that we are all “unsafe to be around children” like do you really not hear yourself
Seeing people within your own community go off about how they “totally support gay people but don’t wanna see them fucking in public” based on hypothetical scenarios they invented and got mad over and acting like seeing a shirtless dude in a pup mask on a leash is akin to being assaulted while social media is composed of nothing but calls to violence over trans/gay people existing in proximity to a child and new articles everyday that frame being alive as a trans woman as inherently predatory lmao
As a person who has always had an unusual interest in sex and sexuality, and a high sex drive to match…I’ve often felt othered by my peers and culturally pressured to suppress that aspect of myself.
In fact, the stigmatization is so bad it took me almost 30 years to notice that all the words we have to talk about highly sexual people are exclusively for disordered sexuality. This led me to work on creating an identity and flag for people like me, who are highly sexual, but not in a way that negatively impacts life.
Flag Meaning
Green represents consent, communication and respect. It takes up the most space, and is in the center because consent is the foundation of healthy sexuality.
Purple represents sensuality, intimacy and vulnerability
Warm pink represents raw sexual power, and carnality
Black represents support for safe, sane kink exploration
FAQ
What is extrasexual and what is supersexual? The terms can be used interchangeably. A supersexual or extrasexual person is someone who is highly sexual, but not in a way that is causing them distress or damaging their life. This is contrasted with hypersexuality, which is a term meant for people who have a disordered relationship with their high sex drive. It may be easiest to think of extrasexuality and supersexuality as the opposite of asexuality.
Isn’t that just ‘horny’? While it’s true that extrasexual and supersexual people are often horny, the word horny is not an identity, it’s a feeling. As such, people of all identities, (even some ace people) can feel horny. Extrasexuality and supersexuality are terms exclusively for people with a much higher than average sex drive or interest in sex/sexuality.
Why do these identities need to exist? First, to combat stigma. The stigmatization of sex and the people who are passionate about sex in our culture is often so pervasive that it’s invisible. It’s easier to bring attention and respect to these issues if we have terms that people can take seriously. Second, to create community. It’s useful to have terms and a flag to rally under, so people who have suffered in similar ways can connect and offer each other the kind of support you can only get from people who understand your experience directly.
Are extrasexual and supersexual ‘queer’? Are we doing LGBTQIAES+ now??? No. Though many queer people are also extrasexual/supersexual, having a high sex drive alone is not enough to warrant inclusion under those labels. While extrasexual and supersexual people experience stigma and shame for who they are, that shame is not rooted in homophobia. The communities can support one another effectively as allies.
What ways are extrasexual/supersexual people stigmatized? To begin with, many of the world’s largest religions mandate modesty, chastity and sexual purity. Women in particular are considered heathens or sinners for engaging in perfectly consensually and safe sex, especially outside of marriage. All throughout human history women have been stoned to death, burned alive and otherwise killed in the name of sexual purity. Even today, many women feel extreme shame about their own bodies, and guilt for enjoying sex.
Men are often expected to be extrasexual, even when they are not. They’re pressure to pursue sex in unhealthy and coersive ways in order to establish social standing. As a result, men who are extrasexual may be rewarded if they are considered conventionally attractive and socially intelligent in their social circles. For extrasexual men who are not considered conventionally attractive, or live with nuerodivergency like autism however, are likely to be considered inherently predatory if they even mention sex.
Sexuality has also been legally controlled in a myriad of ways, from the criminalization of sex work, to decency laws controlling what types of bodies can even appear in porn.
Aren’t overly sexual people dangerous? Anyone, regardless of their personal relationship with sex can violate consent. Consent is especially important when it comes to the topic of sex and sexuality because bodies are highly personal to us. While sex has the potential to be a very intimate and bonding experience, it’s that same vulnerability that can create risk. Many people have had experiences where their bodies were not respected, and as a result have been hurt or now live with trauma. Being extrasexual/supersexual is NEVER an excuse not to respect consent. That’s why the color green, representing consent, is in the center of the extrasexual/supersexual pride flag, and also takes up the most space. It’s the absolute foundation of a strong community that prioritizes reducing harm.
Sadly, it’s the stigmatization of sex that has led people to feel afraid to have the open dialogues that are required for creating a strong consent culture. It’s led people to feel ashamed to seek help when something has happened to them. https://www.consent.academy/book.html is an invaluable resource on how we can work together to build a consent culture that works for everyone, supersexual/extrasexual or otherwise.
Today is 6/9 which I’ve decided to use to celebrate megasexual pride day!!! Slutty rights!
One of the things that probably every adult baby or diaper lover has had to struggle with is accepting that being an ABDL is an unwavering part of who they are. Many ABDLs – myself included – have gone through the dreaded ‘bing purge‘ cycle as a result of shame. For some, this cycle continues indefinitely, seeded along the way with self-hatred and regret at each turn. Others are more fortunate, and eventually gain a healthy control over their desires and manage to incorporate it into their lifestyle.
But why does this binge-purge or shame even manifest itself? Why do diapers have to be such a bad thing? Every time an ABDL makes it into mainstream media, there reception is far from welcoming. Shows such as ‘My Strange Addiction’ have shone a light on the ABDL community and exposed it to a wider audience.
However, in the past decade the adult diaper-wearing community has matured and grown exponentially. This is evidenced by the many ABDL Tumblr blogs, porn sites, and diaper companies that have sprouted up. It 10 years ago the offerings for ABDL inspired diapers was slim, and mostly limited to cloth diapers. Now the supply is endless, and the some of the designs are even cuter than most real baby diapers. One such diaper manufacturer – Tykables – has even opened a physical Tykables diaper store in chicago.
The reality is that more and more people are beginning to accept this side of them and broadcast it to the world. Ultimately, being an ABDL is no more harmful than any other alternative lifestyle. Us adult babies are simply normal people that have managed to find enjoyment, relaxation, and peace in a safe and innocent outlet, and that is nothing to be ashamed about.
So to my fellow ABDLs out there, raise a sippy cup and be proud to be unique, don’t strive to be normal. Acceptance begins when you can love yourself, and realize that everyone is meant to be a unique individual.
can we like…get rid of the so-called leather and rubber “pride flags” ? it’s honestly ridiculous and offensive to the lgbtq community. those aren’t pride flags.
The leather pride flag is the second oldest pride flag. It has been at almost every single US pride parade and protest in history.
It’s older then you are, it’s older then I am. The leather community is responsible for pride. Leather daddies were the ones chasing away cops when they tried to arrest us for being queer in public back when Pride Parades were illegal in the US. They are still the ones chasing away cops and corporations from smaller pride events and those that aren’t sanctioned by Wells Fargo. The leather community is essential to the queer community and has a long and rich history.
Please fuck off if you’re not going to learn the actual history of pride.
And don’t fucking out your hate in our tags, asshole.
The leather pride flag represents an expression of self which is inherently queer, and a community which has been around for generations. It is not offensive to the LGBT+ community in any way. I have seen cis gay and bisexual men standing shoulder-to-shoulder with trans men, all of them united by their leather community roots. The leather community is more diverse and nuanced than you perhaps know, but that is no reason for you to shit on a community you don’t understand.
Here is a photograph from 1998, displaying the leather pride flag, the bear gay pride flag, and the rainbow flag. This is our history.
A photograph from 1988: Tony Deblase, the creator of the leather pride flag, and a gay man, embracing a fellow member of the leather community. Over his shoulder is Judy Tallwing McCarthy, a Native American woman who was part of the leather community from 1959. She co-founded the first lesbian BDSM group in Portland, along with her partner, Sashie Hyatt.
Just because youdon’t know the history, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Be humble, and always assume you have more to learn. Hatred, and outright dismissal of communities you know nothing about, is the most aggressively anti-LGBT thing I can imagine.
The leather community has always included trans people, lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals. The leather community is global and nuanced. The leather community is where many of us encounter our found families, and our lovers. For you to dismiss that is cold-hearted and ignorant. Just because queer sex is involved, doesn’t make the community dirty or bad.
Do you have any. Any idea. Any god damn clue. How kink intersects with LGBT and queer community. Queer history. Do you know why the community pushed for, and against, closing the bathhouses during the 80s? Do you know who organized awareness campaigns about HIV, even way back when it was still called GIRD. Do you know who created the safe sex pamphlets, the classes, who pushed for disclosing your health history to partners, who distributed contraceptives and condoms and dental dams at parties and meetings and baths? Do you even know where the safe sex education we have now comes from? Do you know where a bulk of the language about consent came from? Do you have any good god damn idea what the kink communities have done for us, and continue to do for us?
Keep their names out of your mouths because you clearly don’t know what the hell you’re talking about
If there is one thing I could say to young queer folks, especially young queer folks in the U.S. who are coming of age in a world that is more accepting than the one I knew growing up, it’s this:
Don’t be so quick to sanitize your queerness and make it corporate pride daytime TV-friendly. Don’t be so quick to jump on the purity bandwagon. Don’t be so quick to speak on what your community should look like before you’ve actually learned the history of your community, and always be aware that there are things you probably don’t yet know.
These things will not protect you. They never have. And all you’re doing is isolating yourself from community, from support, from the strength we all have when we stand together in a world that would gladly pick us off one by one.
Queerness isn’t as hidden or embattled now (in some places) as it once was, but make no mistake: when our existence was illegal everywhere the people you have this knee-jerk “hide the weirdos” reaction to are the very ones who would’ve had your back against the cops and the gay-bashers.
The people who made me feel safe to come out in my 20s flew the rubber and leather flags alongside the rainbow flag and often the trans flag as well. You don’t get to tell any of them they don’t belong anymore just because you don’t understand.
