#leonrhymes

if u wanna be a ‘grammer,

u gotta know the rules.

it’s not all glitz and glamour,

u need the proper tools.

first u need a smile

and a fancy place to pose.

next find out ur style,

and put on flashy clothes.

then show the world ur awesome,

and brag about ur stuff.

now watch your fan base blossom,

and buy into ur bluff.

if u maintain the ethic,

they won’t see thru the smog,

so follow these here steps…

or, just be a dog.

henlo?

k so,

plz throw…

hey, woah!

o no,

don’t go…

plz throw!

i went up to the window

to order me some fries,

a double patty borger,

with chimken on the side.

the guy looked at me funny,

he said, “please come inside.”

my dream was coming true at last,

“u betcha!” i replied.

i trotted to the door,

my mouth now filled with foam,

and as he let me in,

i realized,

that window’s to my home

my favorite part of travel

is visiting hotels—

absolutely nothing beats

the way clean linen smells—

the free shampoo,

the comfy bed,

it’s all u need and more.

excuse me while i take a snooze—

i guess you’re on the floor

it’s true, when I was smoller,

i didn’t have to squeeze.

i didn’t have to coil up

to sleep atop ur knees.

i didn’t have to squoosh myself

to fit in every nook.

i’d simply crawl up next to u,

as u curled up with a book.

i might have grown a little—

to tell the truth, a —

and as for whether I still fit,

it’s always worth a shot.

take a pic of me here,

take a pic of me there,

take a pic of me on top

of this swirly gold chair.

take a pic of me left,

take a pic of me right,

take a pic of me daily,

it’s alright if it’s night.

take a pic of my snoot,

take a pic of my feet,

take a pic of whatever,

as long as i get a treat!

i met my hero yesterday,

much to my surprise!

i couldn’t think of what to say,

and averted my eyes.

“i like ur poems, Leon!”

said Striker, straight to ME?!

i froze up like a popsicle,

and stared in disbelief.

“TEACH ME EVERYTHING U KNOW,”

i lamely blurted out.

then buried my head lowly—

embarrassing, no doubt.

i goofed, in front of Striker,

my idol in the ring!

i’m just a silly poet—

a jester to this king!

but Striker donned a smile,

as we looked down at our feet,

and shyly reassured me,

“I’m just in it for the treats.”

Leon hopped up in the car,

and set out for a ride.

the journey might not take him far,

but he’d not be left INSIDE.

he didn’t care to where or when,

or who or why or how.

just pack him up and head out then

please roll the windows down.

I know what it means

When u break out the pool,

But it’s hard to cool off

When ur already cool

Leon couldn’t settle in,

His belly felt too hot.

Tired as he’s ever been,

He’d rather sleep than not.

His heavy eyes weren’t cutting slack,

His thoughts began to crawl,

He rolled over onto his back—

And then he’d solved it all.

i’m not sayin I would,

i’m not sayin u should,

but if u monch a bubble,

they don’t taste too good…

I’m floating, gloating,

As I’m boating,

Good vibes positively bloating,

Hoping in due time

you’re noting,

Every single thing

I’m quoting

While I’m out here boating.

SWAN DIVE

(kind of)

Rate my form.

Flawless entry!

10’s the norm.

Great rotation,

Yet again!

Barely wet?!

Perfect 10!

I’ve been watching you since dinner,

Waiting since I ate,

Feeling awfully thinner,

As it’s getting kind of late.

I’m shriveling, shriveling up,

I just might blow away,

And at my behest,

I humbly request,

You send some more kibble my way.

I tried to take a selfie,

But didn’t quite foresee,

What fluffy white creation,

Would be staring back at me.

Its wrinkles had me flustered,

Taken well aback,

Its handsome countenance froze up,

It didn’t much react.

I weighed my next move slowly,

Stay and stare, or flee?

I wanted that darn selfie,

And then it **—

That’s me.

Hop in, ma, we’re goin,

We’re off for a ride!

Roll down the windows,

It’s nicer outside!

Well? Time’s a-wastin’!

Soon it’ll be dark.

Hellloooo let’s get moving—

Y R U STILL IN PARK?!

Sporting a smolder

That stretched cheek to cheek,

He might be a dog,

But man, he looks chic.

When others might be filled with fright,

He stands his ground both day and night.

He guards his yard with bated breath,

Intruders all face certain death.

Though instinct drives him to prevail,

He chases pests to no avail.

Perhaps for sport, or duty true,

He’d chase until his face turns blue.

Til then, he waits,

His tail en curl,

And one day soon,

He’ll get that squirrel.

here at Leon’s drive-thru,

we make the bestest food.

it’s service with a smile,

guaranteed to hike your mood.

we’re always rated number one—

our service can’t be beaten.

but there’s one problem with your food—

it’s already been eaten….

now you’ve gone and done it—

his whole heart, you’ve won it—

he’s your man of the hour—

‘cause you gave him a flower