#like game of thrones last season bad
Harry: *Mixing in a large pot in front of the grey cloak students*♪ You put the Peeps in the chili pot ♪ ♪ And eat them both up ♪ ♪ You put the Peeps in the chili pot ♪ ♪ And add the M&Ms ♪ ♪ You put the Peeps in the chili pot ♪ ♪ And it makes it taste bad ♪
Harry: *clears throat* I’m gonna eat all this chili… and/or die trying. Anyone want any? I’m just gonna put it right down here. Come on. Dip your paws in my chili. Scoop your little mittens right in the stew.
Student: Mr. Dresden, I can see that you’re going through something, but exams are next week, so can you teach us anything?
Harry: All right, nerd. You want to learn something? I’ll teach you something. I’m gonna teach you the meaning of life. How do you like them apples? Now, over the last , years, Western philosophers have formed three main theories on how to live an ethical life. Now, first off, there’s virtue ethics. Aristotle believed that there were certain virtues of mind and character, like courage or generosity, and you should try to develop yourself in accordance with those virtues.
Harry: Next, there’s consequentialism. The basis for judgment about whether something is right or wrong stems from the consequences of that action. How much utility, or good, did it accomplish versus how much pain, or bad. And finally, there’s deontology, the school of thought that there are strict rules and duties that everyone must adhere to in a functioning society. Being ethical is simply identifying and obeying those duties and following those rules. But here’s the thing, my little chili babies, all three of those theories are hot, stinky cat dookie. The true meaning of life, the actual ethical system that you should all follow is nihilism. The world is empty. There is no point to anything, and you’re just gonna die. So do whatever. And now I’m gonna eat my marshmallow-candy chili in silence, and you all can jump up your own butts.
Student: Is that gonna be on the test?
Harry: Yes. And, no. And you all get As or Fs. And there is no test. And you all failed it, and you all got As. Who cares? Good-bye. - *students murmuring*- Good-byyyyye.
