#lynn denlon
back and forth but no ones really winning
okay yall i really like this one
might also be my longest femslash story EVER
Brief Summary: Amanda rests before a long day, and thinks about feelings that she doesn’t want to have.
Word Count: 626
I’m still accepting ships for femslash feb!!! Send me your fave fem pairs and I’ll write you a fic sometime this month!! (2 spots left)
Amanda was crammed against the wall in her little makeshift bedroom, waiting. It was the day before everything was going to go down with Jeff and Lynn’s traps. John had made her set up everything in advance as much as possible. The warehouse was filled with strange pieces of machinery, convoluted and large. There was the freezer room, pig vat, and the rack, of course. Then the shotgun collar, which John had let her build all by herself. There was some pride in that. As she and John had become closer she’d been trusted with more of the tools. She’d even begun creating traps of her own design, following in John’s image… mostly. Since John was so sick, it was hard for him to evaluate all of her work, so he set her off alone. But doing the traps alone was complicated, and the repercussions of her work were painful. She didn’t know if she was doing the right thing by setting people up to die. Her hand felt guided through the motions of breaking a lock or welding a door closed. She would have to deal with the consequences of that later. When John found out, she knew he wouldn’t be happy.
John had arranged for her to bring in Lynn tomorrow, a doctor. At least that would be some relief. He’d been getting sicker, and it was starting to fray her nerves. He was having bad headaches, and couldn’t stand on his own anymore. Amanda had done everything she could for him, with all of the medicine she could get her hands on… mostly legally. If there was one thing she knew how to do, it was getting her hands on drugs. But he needed steroids, stronger medicine than she could find on the street. Something for the pain.
But Lynn seemed like a good choice. She was Amanda’s project, while Hoffman had been taking over most of the work with Jeff. So, of course, Amanda had studied up on her. She’d watched her in private, inspecting when would be a good time to take her… when she was going home, or in the car when she was swallowing antidepressants like they were candy. John had insisted upon her above anyone else. And Amanda could tell that she was good. Her reputation preceded her. But she could also see why Jigsaw would test her. She was an adulterer, and taking all of the pills reminded Amanda a bit too much of her own life. There were some problems that drugs just couldn’t solve.
The most major problem with Lynn as a choice though, was that she made Amanda have those… feelings. Awful, choking feelings that she had pressed down for so many years it was almost like second nature. She still didn’t know what to make of them. There was just a certain pleasure in seeing Lynn’s body. A hunger for… something. It made her feel sick. It was a nightmare, thinking these things, and it would be especially humiliating if she expressed anything in front of John. But Amanda didn’t think it would come to that. She’d gotten good at keeping it all under wraps. And if she ignored it, it was almost like the feelings weren’t even there.
Amanda sighed, pressing up closer to the wall. She could already tell that tomorrow was going to be challenging, and today was supposed to be her day of rest.
From the other room, Amanda could hear John start coughing. She uncurled her body, getting up and putting a docile expression on her face. She would check on John because that was what she did. She took care of him. And hopefully things wouldn’t blow up in her face like they might for Lynn tomorrow.
